just tell me you love me like your mom does

To send us tips, inquire about photo content, write nasty letters from your anonymous gmail account you have for porn, or to apply for work-release bonded employment, send all inquiries to:


For any and all advertising inquiries because you are quite certain your e-cigarette juniors for the middle schooll market could use a huge boost, send a business like letter to:


** (notice those fucking asterisks signifying importance) We reserve the right but not the obligation to publish anything that is sent to us. Unsolicited materials will not be acknowledged. If you wish your correspondence to be kept entirely in confidence, please indicate so clearly in your poorly typed letter.

Any larger issues or complaints should be addressed to:


Do be advised that last email will be tracked by the Secret Service and FBI and that a guy with your slight build isn’t likely to do well in prison.