Seth Rogen Pisses Off North Korea And Shit Around The Web

June 26, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

The North Koreans have their commie panties in a bunch about Seth Rogen and James Franco’s latest shitty movie, The Interview. In the film the comedy duo assassinate North Korea’s lesbian midget leader Kim Jong-Un. The North Koreans called the film an act of terrorism. For once I agree with them. Read all about the […]

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Luis Suarez Bit A Dude And Shit Around The Web

June 25, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

The fucking World Cup got interesting for the first time since the Aztecs used human heads for the sport when a Uruguayan player tried to Tyson an Italian player’s ear. I think he ended up with only a mouth full of scapula. How disappointing. Check out the best thing that has ever happened in the […]

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Kristen Stewart Bitch Slaps Joan Rivers And Shit Around The Web

June 24, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Kristen Stewart is suing 147 year old Joan Rivers for a passage in her new book Diary of a Mad Diva about Kristen Stewart’s affair with Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders. I won’t give away the joke but it involves the director’s balls. And since it’s Joan Rivers, it’s not an actual […]

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Honey Boo Boo Smacks Her Mom And Shit Around The Web

June 21, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

During a commercial break on the Tonight Show, the petite sausage roll known as Honey Boo Boo slapped her mom for telling her to stop being such a fucking spaz. The altercation wasn’t shown in the broadcast, but based on the lingering ripples in her moms fat rolls, scientists can nail down the time of […]

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Justin Bieber’s Bastards And Shit Around The Web

June 20, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

There’s a story running around that Justin Bieber has been paying off some unprotected sex roulette losers he knocked up. Actually, I guess you’d call them winners in the context of their ambitions. I don’t know if the story is true or not. I just know I’ve never pissed in a janitor’s mop bucket, sang […]

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Kim Kardashian’s Honeymoon Boobs And Shit Around The Web

June 19, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

The first time I saw Kim Kardashian her chest was soaking wet and Ray J was grinning like a chief. She’s wet again. Now I’m grinning, because I get to see her boobs and I don’t even have to be her boyfriend. That’s perfect. Kim Kardashian wet t-shirt titties on the quad, dude! Woohooo! (Drunken […]

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Lindsay Lohan’s Crabs And Shit Around The Web

June 18, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

It’s never a bad time for good hygiene. Let’s say you once starred in Mean Girls and now your lady nugget is teeming with bacillococci. You can’t just scratch that shit in public like a sweaty shortstop. You’re a woman in a see-through dress for God’s sake. Get yourself to some kind of uncapped hydrant […]

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Julianne Hough’s Mormon Bits And Shit Around The Web

June 17, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

Are you enjoying the World Cup? Me neither. I’m Hispanic and I find it boring as shit. Do you realize what kind of burden that is. I have to fake like futbol. Hey, who remembers that goal from 78 minutes ago? Yeah that was a sweet own goal. Andale! It turns out Will Smith isn’t […]

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Jessica Simpson Crotch and Shit Around the Web

June 13, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

There’s less than a week left until Juneteenth. If you haven’t left on the Greyhound for Milwaukee, you’re probably already too late for the riots. Enjoy your Flag Day, whitey. Nicole Scherzinger is crazy hot when viewed ass first (Hollywood Tuna) Gavin Rossdale’s bastard daughter looks English muy bueno in her underwear (COED) Binge and […]

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Petra Nemcova and Shit Around the Web

June 12, 2014 | crap around the web | Brendon| 0 Comments

In the time honored tradition of being super fucking lazy, here’s a list of other must-see stuff around the web today. You can pretend you’re too busy to see more, but you’re not. Obama takes six weeks of vacation a year. People in France take off August and all of 1940. You can take ten […]

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