Rumer Willis Jawline Bullied

May 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rumer Willis claims Vanity Fair Photoshopped her jaw to several evolution iterations past Cro-Magnon. Willis posted the previously unseen photo to Instagram then asked everybody to please remove it from their accounts. Somebody got into mom’s Whip-Its.


Nicki Minaj And Madonna Fashion Forward

May 3, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Met Gala is New York’s version of the Oscars, only you don’t have to have a job to attend, just a really expensive dress. Until fully audited, consider it a fundraiser for the Metropolitan Museum which needs to remain open so student filmmakers at NYU have somewhere to guerrilla shoot. More movies about what it’s like to grow up with two literati parents who ignored you, please.


Novak Djokovic Humped The Third Rail

March 23, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you want to piss off the logical side of your brain, read the drivel that major sports outlets publish these days on women’s sports. It’s opinion wrapped in omitted facts supported entirely by a desire to be politically correct. Men’s tennis player Novak Djokovic fucked up this week when he mentioned that men should maybe get […]


Nick Young Sexually Harasses Sexual Harassment Speaker

March 22, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Alexis Jones who makes her living speaking to athletes about treating women respectfully claims Lakers players Nick Young and Jordan Clarkson came to a stop in their car next to her and her mother and made vulgar, sexually suggestive gestures. That’s vague enough. I might have asked a follow-up. Jones snapped a photo of the guys in the […]


Blake Shelton Denies Mailbox Pissing

March 18, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Celebrities not Tom Cruise don’t usually sue the tabloids simply because it’s a pain in the ass and they don’t need whatever winnings are to be had at the end of the multi-year process. If you’ve ever stood in a checkout line at the grocery store you know that half of the female population can’t […]


Kristen Stewart And Soko Seem Lesbian Happy

March 15, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If chain smoking and denouncing your physical beauty doesn’t buy you the loathing of your parents you’re still seeking at twenty-five, there’s always the conveniently unattractive French dyke girlfriend. Classic go-to. Stewart and the French singer Soko have been seen locking lesbian pinky rings in Paris. if your name was Stephanie Sokolinski, you’d go by […]


Jessica Alba Dirty Honest

March 12, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jessica Alba’s Honest Company which sells environmentally and body sound products according to their pamphlets took another hit on that honest bit when the Wall Street Journal asserted that the company used the ingredient SLS in their laundry detergents. SLS is a complicated chemical compound used in numerous brand name laundry detergents and also the […]


Selena Gomez Babe In Paris

March 9, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Selena Gomez looks like she got drunk with her middle school friends and stole her mom’s clothes for dress up. If her mom worked the hustle in Topeka. I pictured what her tits look like then instinctively reported myself to the police. I was the nineteenth caller with the same issue. There’s only one way […]


Bearded Female Models and Kesha Rape Claims on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #36 (AUDIO)

March 9, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After a two week break to join Scientology, then quit, then be run off the road by Scientology monitors, Matt and I returned to the troll infested quarters to record another podcast. So much shit went on in the past couple of weeks that we had to really focus on the important topics of the […]


Kim Kardashian Fights Nudity Shaming With More Nudity

March 8, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kim Kardasian’s social media writers posting as Kim Kardashian took on the great names in Twitter battles like Piers Morgan, Bette Midler, and Chloe Moretz who had criticized Kardashian for posting a censored nude photo of herself on Twitter the day before. They expected more from Kim. Why is unclear. Twitter is the $5.99 all you […]