Theo Huxtable Wants His Money

March 7, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Struck by a selfless epiphany, Malcolm Jamal Warner wants to know why Bill Cosby’s work is being removed from syndication while other sexual offenders in television and film seem unaffected by their own untoward sexual dalliances of the past. You look at just how the media is playing this whole thing out and I can’t help […]

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Kanye Pre-Apologizes Again

February 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kanye’s new album is chock full of bravado lyrics about his conquests and power and the way his shoes always go perfectly with whatever outfit he chooses for the evening. None of this exaggerated bragging makes much sense to people not in the rap community who generally grew up urban poor and now put each other down […]

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Ashley Graham Plus One In SI Swimsuit

February 10, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ashley Graham has fashioned herself a lucrative business out of not losing that last twenty-five pounds. Empowerment lectures, ‘real woman’ merchandise sales, and now she’s been drafted into Time-Warner corporate diversity mandate by way of inclusion into the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. A reasonable number of men dig the Ashley type of jiggle and cake. […]

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Sara Jean Underwood Skirts Zuckerberg Edict

February 9, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While Mark Zuckerberg isn’t trying to convince people he produced a baby via sexual reproduction or selling secrets to the Soviets (he has a time machine), he’s micro-managing his social media empire rules and regulations involving the baring of tits. Every billionaire has their thing. Warren Buffett likes to unscrew all the salt shakers at […]

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Charlotte McKinney Is America

February 6, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s old-fashioned and almost un-American these days, but Charlotte McKinney gets up every morning, greases up her enormous tits, and goes wherever the cameras are. She doesn’t bitch about objectification or express dismay about Verlander cum shot photos being leaked. She smiles and asks for overtime. It’s the blue collar mentality that made this nation […]

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UFC Ring Girl Kahili Blundell Seems Reasonably Attractive

January 23, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I wouldn’t let this ring girl stand next to Ronda Rousey. She’s going to make people question Corky’s gender classification. Obscenely attractive women can never really be your friend. It’s like befriending a hurricane. You can’t stop it from flooding that home you keep insisting on rebuilding over and over again below sea level with […]

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Buffalo Bills Winners Where It Matters

January 22, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Bills announced the first NFL team hiring of a female salaried coach. Kathryn Smith was named the team’s special team’s quality control coach. The position had been vacant the entire four hours since team officials invented it earlier that same day. Smith was previously a personal assistant to head coach Rex Ryan, an administrative […]

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Tila Tequila Needs A Fucking Sofa

January 18, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Timeshares used to be the standard by which you could measure people’s fondness for really shitty investments. Now it’s buying a divan for Tila Tequila while she plans the earth’s defense against reptilian alien invaders. The former MySpace star turned porn star turned Messianic fan of the Third Reich got strangers to buy furniture for her new […]

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Ashley Graham Fat and Super Happy

January 13, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ashley Graham is making her mark by being crazy positive about being overweight. It’s brilliant to have put yourself in a position that putting down the Fritos actually hurts your career. Num num. I’m a workaholic. Graham opens up her inspiring paid talks with a soliloquy in front of a mirror where she hides all […]

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Kardashian Nibbles on A Kit Kat (VIDEO)

January 11, 2016 | crowd favorites | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Now that each of the Kardashian sisters have launched their own pay sites and app, they’ve had to enhance their content with premium shit beyond the shout outs, platitudes, and general tit grifting they do on their free media channels. Smart people don’t have that much interesting to share. Vapid ambulatory pie holes even less. […]

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