Selfies Are Officially A Mental Disorder

April 23, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Surprise. Too many selfies a day means you should check-in at the nearest mental hospital, far away from the rest of us who don’t have the urge to upload multiple headshots inspired by insecurity. First there was internet addiction,... READ MORE

If She Smokes She Croaks

April 18, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Former First Lady Barbara Bush has been a thousand years old for decades, but, after a long and what sure as hell seemed fun life, she’s finally gone to that big ashtray in the sky. She passed away this... READ MORE

Southwest Airlines – We Do Things Differently And Also Kill People

April 17, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Southwest made a name for itself by being the airline that doesn’t play by anyone else’s rulebook. And now they’re really throwing caution to the wind by killing people on their planes. It’s just so nice to see a... READ MORE

Starbucks – We Like Our Arrested Loiterers Like We Like Our Coffee: Black

April 16, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

   If you live in Philadelphia your life is already shitty enough, but insult was added to injury when two black men were arrested at a Philadelphia Starbucks for what the manager who phoned the police alleged was loitering.... READ MORE

Ex-Cheerleader Claims Virgin Discrimination

April 13, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  They always say that the best profession for avoiding personal judgment is cheerleading – especially for NFL viewers hoping to add a vag lip slip to their spank banks. At least this is why Cheerleader for Christ Kristan... READ MORE

Geoffrey Rush “Has Lost His Appetite And Barely Eats” After Assault Allegations

April 10, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Geoffrey Rush’s lawyer has submitted an affidavit stating that the actor is having a full-blown bitch fest following an article in The Daily Telegraph claiming Rush behaved inappropriately towards an actress during a 2015 production of King Lear. Rush... READ MORE

Things That Will Make You Want To Die: Simpsons’ Apu Controversy Is Back

April 9, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

#TheSimpsons completely toothless response to @harikondabolu #TheProblemWithApu about the racist character Apu: “Something that started decades ago and was applauded and inoffensive is now politically incorrect… What can you do?” pic.twitter.com/Bj7qE2FXWN — Soham (@soham_burger) April 9, 2018 In a... READ MORE

YouTube’s Prized Horse Jake Paul To Make Late Night Talk Show

April 6, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

YouTube has a problem with sticking to their area of expertise, which happens to be obscure product reviews and Vevo music videos. They don’t excel at much else but it’s the first place on the internet to check if... READ MORE

Mexico’s Hottest Weatherwoman Is A Multitasker

April 5, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Jen Selter probably gets paid more doing what she does on Instagram than Yanet Garcia gets paid in pesos for alerting all of Mexico the weekly weather forecast. So naturally when you’re the south of the border version of... READ MORE

CMBYN Wanted To Show More Weiners

April 4, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

A movie that promotes pedophilia received four nominations and took home a win for Best Adapted Screenplay but that wasn’t enough for the man who wrote Call Me By Your Name’s script to be fully happy. The writer, James... READ MORE