Now You: Dogs or Cats

September 23, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  While cats have gotten a really bum rap since popularly embraced by Taylor Swift and other tall lesbians, all cats aren’t bad, and this isn’t a place where we’re going to judge a man simply for liking cats.... READ MORE

Sexy Handmaid’s Tale Halloween Costume Pulled After Backlash

September 21, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  More like “under his brown eye.” Right gents? I don’t know what that means. What I do know is that Elisabeth Moss’ frumpy dumpy and grumpy brainwashed Scientologist ass somehow made the Hulu series The Handmaid’s Tale worse... READ MORE

Conspiracy Theory Corner: Bayer Giving People Cancer With Roundup To Boost Cancer Drug Sales?

September 20, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Get out your tin foil hats, because it’s conspiracy theory time. The Wall Street Journal published an article detailing ongoing legal action against Bayer – the pharmaceutical company that recently acquired chemical company Monsanto (the maker of Roundup) in... READ MORE

New ‘Black Label’ DC Comic Shows Batman’s Penis

September 20, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  For decades softcore masturbation material has taken the form of socially-acceptable comic books. The socially-acceptable bulges for the gay boys and lonely acne-riddled tall straight girls who read comics. Heaving super tit cleavage and visible nipple outlines for the... READ MORE

2018 Emmy Winners Are Kind Of Okay

September 18, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Darren Criss really went out on a limb to portray a gay man for American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, and was rewarded accordingly with a win. Let's see. I hate John Mulaney, Bill Hader is homophobic, Thandie Newton... READ MORE

CBS CEO Leslie Moonves Leaving After Sexual Assault Allegations

September 10, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Imagine for a second, if you will. Being so hard up for attention that you’re willing to talk to Ronan Farrow. This is the stage four thirstiness experienced by six women who came forward in a piece written... READ MORE

Announcers Filling Air Time While Naked Man Runs Through L.A. Traffic To Get You Through The Week

September 6, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  First off, does anyone here watch Drugs, Inc? It’s damn great. If we can’t have that narrator detailing the every move of this carjacker and obvious PCP aficionado running through L.A. traffic buck nude, then at least we have these chucklehead announcers.... READ MORE

Azerbaijan’s Most Wanted: Dan Bilzerian

September 4, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

King Douche Dan Bilzerian is probably easier to dislike than the idea of Tess Holliday being on top of you for hanky panky. He pissed off Medal of Honor member Dakota Meyer after he portrayed himself as Captain Miller... READ MORE

Survey Finds Airplanes Are Best Place To Masturbate In Public

August 31, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Those of us, I mean, you, who are chronic public masturbators know that getting caught comes with a stiff sentence. Amirite. But thanks to information on airplane seat masturbation, we know it’s a relatively safe space to live... READ MORE