Clear Backpacks, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

April 2, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Any of you planning to sneak an AK-15 into a school using a backpack are going to be seriously pissed off today, because now another school is adopting a policy requiring students to wear school-issued clear backpacks. In addition... READ MORE

Leaked Facebook Memo Shocker: Successful Company Run By Assholes

March 30, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  This news is going to be a tough pill to swallow for those who think that any company in the black in the history of the world has been helmed by humanitarians. An internal memo penned by a... READ MORE

You Stupid Cult

March 28, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  The long-suspected cult NXIVM is being dismantled after leader Keith Raniere was arrested on Monday March 27th while hiding out in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Raniere was handed over to US officials by the Mexican authorities, and the FBI released... READ MORE

Elon Musk’s Father Is Also A Woody Allen

March 27, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I’m wondering at what point in time did ethics take a left turn for men like Woody Allen and Elon Musk’s father. Both of these guys have tossed their moral compasses out of the window and decided to bang... READ MORE

Man Ruined Movie Score For Chick Flick; Segregation Of The Sexes Ensues

March 27, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Some men are brave enough to venture out where only few others dare. Risk taking sponsored by testosterone put footprints on the moon but now men are exploring other areas far more fearful and unknown than outer space. Men... READ MORE

Prince – That’s Fentan-all Folks

March 27, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Every once in a while you guys make me feel like an even bigger piece of shit than I already am, and considering you’re all pieces of shit, it’s always a real come to Jesus moment for me. We’re... READ MORE

Swimsuit Model Body Shamed For Being Slim Fat

March 26, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

More proof is popping up that fat shaming is 100 percent a women’s problem. Body positivity has never been for all. Men with the same sized breast as the women they wish to date will never get an opportunity... READ MORE

Oh Brother

March 24, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Parkland, FL shooter and number one fan of the FBI’s dedication to inefficiency and negligence Nikolas Cruz apparently has a brother, and his brother apparently thinks it’s cool to casually scope out the site of the tragic massacre... READ MORE

Edward Norton Shits On Firefighters In The Name Of Dead Firefighter

March 23, 2018 | News | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  Just by the nature of the job, a firefighter dying is about as wildly shocking as a NASCAR driver being spread all over a racetrack like strawberry jelly or an NBA star slam dunking his wife’s head into... READ MORE

Netflix Is About To Make The News

March 21, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Netflix making a news show feels slightly behind schedule. I would have expected something similar to 60 Minutes sooner when you’re the official replacement for cable television but later is always better than never. The creation of a news... READ MORE