Justin Bieber Pick of the Litter

Magazines overly concerned with whom Justin Bieber is currently extending his tiny romantic appendage believe young model Alexandra Rodriquez might be the one. First, she owns that same underaged appearance as Selena Gomez. A midget never forgets his first normal.read more

Kim Kardashian Poses For Uncle Terry

The Kim Kardashian and Terry Richardson alliance pits together two bigs in the fornication magic business. Kardashian is firmly in the camp of Richardson photo subjects who support him against allegations of improper behavior with models. Though in the context that having a man slap his dick against your face for inspiration is perfectly natural. It's how the plumber used to get to work on the hair clogged drains in...read more

I'm Ariel Winter and This Is My Ass

The fact that you can get away with being both an anti-body shaming feminist advocate and an attention whore showing off your ass on social media is why the Internet is the Wonka Factory for masturbating age and above. There are no rules.read more

Charlotte McKinney Patriotic Tits On The 4th And Shit Around The Web

It's a violation of the U.S. Code to burn an American flag. However, rubbing your hot and hungry tits all over the Stars and Stripes is applauded. Actually, that seems sane.read more

Paris Jackson Still Doing It

Having a dead gay pedophile fake dad cannot be that easy. You should probably issue a declarative stance. For your own mental health. I would and my dad wasn't a bleached white black eunuch who fucked little boys and is still paying my rent posthumously.read more

Rihanna Sex in Sweden (VIDEO)

Rihanna's concert performance involves a suspended glass walkway she crawls back and forth across in ass-less chaps over the crowd. Your basic strip show main stage with higher production cost. At various ports of call, Drake shows up to simulate fucking her doggy style. You can hear the throngs of fourteen year old girls who are pretty certain their parents have no idea what the hell goes on at a Rihanna concert. Boys...read more

What's the Opposite of a Sausage Party? (Hint: Taylor Swift Loves Girls)

Taylor Swift only had the most awesome Fourth of July party ever because it didn't include stupid boys. Boys will say anything to try to put their diddle sticks inside your special flowers. It's just heartbreak. Girl power to the tune of two hundred million dollars. In your face, past boyfriends.read more

Jennifer Lopez and Lin Manuel Miranda, Like You Fucking Dreamed It Would Be (VIDEO)

Jennifer Lopez and Lin Manuel Miranda, the dude who brought historically reinterpreted musical theater to the masses at just $1800 a seat, have been working on a charity single to benefit the victims of the Orlando Pulse nightclub shooting. Proceeds from the culturally significant rap will go toward the Hispanic Federation's Proyecto Somos Orlando which provides Spanish speaking mental health services to Pulse victims...read more

Boozie BadAzz Done With Gay Cartoons

Former murder convicted Rapper Boozie BadAzz has a history of deriding homosexuality not unlike a good percentage of the black population. That prejudice nugget is routinely buried because it doesn't fit the United Colors of Benetton safe space narrative. Boozie claims that upon returning home from prison that cartoons and shit were all super fucking gay now:read more

Alicia Arden Shoots for the Moon

Slamma Jamma is a real movie about redemption and dunking. It stars Jose Canseco and Michael Irvin. Arguably their best movie yet. Decorum at the screening seemed lax.read more

That Time John Cena Ruined the Fourth of July (VIDEO)

John Cena filmed a national Ad Council PSA for release on the 4th of July that called everybody a bigot. Not everybody, just white people with working legs. Sort of a bummer message. You're not a patriot because you didn't know the nation has three times as many Muslims as it does active duty military. Are those two mutually exclusive? We need to rethink our parade floats.read more

Daphne Joy Whole Lotta Body and Shit Around the Web

Daphne Joy made a baby with 50 Cent and was still allowed to remain in our nation. We are a forgiving people. Just like the way you'd forget 50's baby ever popped out of her reproductive tract if you were so lucky as to bed this woman. Block it out hard.read more

M.I.L.F. $ Isn't Even Trying (VIDEO)

Fergie and Will.I.Am produced a new music video that backed into a song that may be the worst four minutes of musically arranged crap ever. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian release computer baked dance tracks every couple of years because dudes in the Middle East who can't afford to fuck them want to feel involved. Fergie passes herself off as a musical artist. There's some inherent level of responsibility in that...read more

Bri Teresi in A Bikini

Eating bananas like they're cocks has always been an art more than science. Now it's a cottage industry. Bri Teresi calls herself the Snapchat Queen. As far as regal titles go, that's pretty bourgeois.read more

What If There Was Another Way?

Models and actresses used to accept criticism that came along with making a living off your looks. They swallowed their pride along with over the counter amphetamines and did what it took to be abnormally slender and taut-faced. Nobody in Bataan had a choice but to march. Becoming wealthy by playing pretend and showing off your tits remains an entirely voluntary pursuit.read more