Who Isn't Topless in This Week's Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

The entire existence of cinema used to hinge on seeing topless chicks at the movies. Once every movie became a tentpole blockbuster based on a toy you couldn't quite make out at your kid eye doctor's visits, the tits went away. But tits don't disappear. Not as long as you continue to believe in them. Premium cable seems to have picked up the lion's share. You keep seeing the same actresses moving from show to show...read more

Selena Gomez Seduced by Swift

The role Taylor Swift plays in the life of her all-female friends is to convince them to dump their loser boyfriends. According to HollywoodLife which takes quotes from publicists and frames them as exclusive insider stories, Swift wants Selena Gomez to excommunicate Justin Bieber entirely and forever. Swift didn't like how Bieber disrespected Selena Gomez at the iHeart Radio Awards. She made no mention of the fact...read more

Irma Bule Snake Bit (VIDEO)

Here's the the thing to ask yourself if you're going to be throwing poisonous snakes around during your stage act, am I venom proof? Indonesian pop star Irma Bule took a cobra bite to the leg during one of her outdoor market shows shot on Betacam. This can't be the first time she's been struck given how badly she fucks around with the snakes during her performance. Charlie Sheen's four year old demonic crack twins...read more

Vanessa Hudgens in A Bikini And Shit Around The Web

Vanessa Hudgens will never top her drunk naked cellphone video work at eighteen or what her handlers claimed was seventeen to get it removed from the Internet. It had drama, intrigue, and a whole lot of vagine. Many of us peaked in high school. Vanessa Hudgens has a nice short girl ass in a bikini(Last Men On Earth) Pauline Baly is topless because it's her job. (Egotastic All-Stars) Hotties Shay Mitchell, Ashley...read more

Drunk Nic Cage and Fat Vince Neil Throw Down (VIDEO)

In the future, all incredibly drunk after-high school party altercations will be played by Nicholas Cage and Vince Neil. The two drinking buddies were loaded outside the Vegas Aria hotel in the middle of the afternoon fighting and hugging after Neil apparently shoved a chick to the ground for asking for an autograph. Not his, Cage's. Approaching these two on senior bender kind of warrants some kind of beat down. It's...read more

Sarah Palin Suing Azealia Banks

Redneck crazy ex-Governor Sarah Palin is suingAzealia Banks for a series of Tweets Banks posted suggesting Palin deserved to be gang raped by some big black dudes to teach her a lesson about racism. That doesn't make any sense. But I'd watch the leaked tape on 4Chan. Banks was responding to a fake news piece online that suggested Sarah Palin said black people were into slavery so white people shouldn't feel shitty...read more

Bella And Dani Thorne Sisters Forever

The Thorne stage parents are still pretending their girls are Hispanic and in their teens. They hit pay dirt with the youngest, Bella. The older two chicks have long since been shuffled off to softcore private modeling. That doesn't even begin to cover the tap lessons and molestation survivor therapy sessions. Bella is booked into ten movies and an equal number of lip gloss merchandising campaigns. Her stock is solid....read more

The Jennifer Lawrence Bubble Is a Nice Place to Live

It's hard to know if Hollywood's spoilt class are constantly bringing up female body size issues in interviews or if it's a blatant push by the fashion magazines that have promoted anorexia through the years to appear on top of underarm fat roll acceptance. In Harper's Bazaar, Lawrence is pushing for a new normal body type, since she believes the accepted normal is super skinny chicks who don't eat. I do Pilates every...read more

Jennifer Lopez Teams Up with Dr. Luke

Former Fly Girl Jennifer Lopez released a new song. Boring. The catchy new auto-tuned dittywas produced by Kesha accused rapist, hit maker and star music producer Dr. Luke. Kesha has lost every significant court battle against Dr. Luke, but she droppedthe word "rape" which is like releasing the feministKrakken. Hillary Clinton reminded us that a woman is to be believed in her rape accusations until proven false. And...read more

Kim Kardashian Geo-Political Porn Star

Azerbaijan is in that region of Eurasia that no one really knows or gives a shit about unless they're bauxitespeculators. Borders change weekly, corrupt mustachioed officials scream at each other in non-HD video clips, and the West cares only if there's a possible disruption of black crude. There is currently a tenuous ceasefire between Azerbaijan and neighboring Armenia over disputed territory. This after four days...read more

Lena Dunham Fat Girl Gatekeeper

Lena Dunham is obsessed with her own every bowel movement. Filled with corn niblets and license plates as it is. You can'tpretend her narcissism is method acting anymore. Even Daniel Day Lewis doesn't stay in character forfive years. Dunhaminjected herself into the Amy Schumer-Glamour spat about what constitutes plus-size. I think what Amy was really saying was just, like, let's remove the labels, and she was just...read more

Gwyneth Paltrow In A Bikini And Shit Around The Web

Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini does nothing for me, though I know some people think she's hot. I think she looks like Big Bird. If you think she's attractive congratulations, you want to fuck a Muppet. I'd rather fuck Ms. Piggy. (Egotastic) Michelle Lewin's booty is a work of fucking art. (Last Men On Earth) Eve slips a nip at the Barbershop: Next Cut premiere. (Egotastic All-Stars) Want to see Bieber totally eat it at...read more

Gawker Looking to Work Something Out

Lawyers for Gawker filed a motion to have the Florida jury award of $140 million to Hulk Hogan reduced by about 99%. Or roughly all if you're into rounding. Attorneys for Gawker used a bunch of fancy words to call the jury members idiotic and emotionally punishing to the tune of an award ten times greater than has ever been awarded before in similar cases. Also, everyone kind of acknowledgesthat fucking your friend's...read more

Paris Jackson Inked at 18

Paris Jackson celebrated her eighteenth birthday by fooling around with her twenty-six year old boyfriend and tattooing what she described as message from her father onto her forearm. 'Queen of my heart'. Michael Jackson died seven years ago from an overdose of self-administered anesthesia while his doctor was sexting. It's unclear when the King of Pop precisely sent this message. It is clear that Paris' boyfriend is...read more

Rita Ora Isn't Trying Hard Enough

Don't bother 3D-printing up some space age tank top just to show off your nipples. Not if you're not going to show of your tits as well. The bakery shop around the corner doesn't just let you see the frosting and hide the cake. Maybe the gay wedding cakes so you can't see the Leviticus spit stains. Are you even trying to make weight for this fight? Nobody needed to tell Miley Cyrus to stick a lit joint in her snatch...read more