The Razzie Award nominations were announced today, the awards given to the worst movies and performances from Hollywood for the past year. “Son of the Mask” was the big winner with 8 nominations, including Worst Movie and Worst Actor for Jamie Kennedy. The other worst-picture contenders are “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo,” Jenny McCarthy’s “Dirty Love,” “The Dukes of Hazzard” and “House of Wax”.
Tom Cruise was nominated for Worst Actor for “War of the Worlds”, along with Will Ferrell for “Bewitched” and “Kicking & Screaming,” The Rock for “Doom” and Rob Schneider for “Deuce Bigalow.”
McCarthy also earned a nod for Worst Actress in “Dirty Love” and will compete against Jessica Alba in “Fantastic Four” and “Into the Blue,” Hilary Duff for “Cheaper by the Dozen 2″ and “The Perfect Man,” Jennifer Lopez for “Monster-in-Law” and Tara Reid for “Alone in the Dark.”
And no list of incompetence would be complete without Paris Hilton, who was nominated as Worst Supporting Actress for “House of Wax” and also for Most Tiresome Tabloid Target. I was gonna wrap up this post with a few Paris Hilton pictures, but then I remembered that I would rather look at pictures of shark attack victims than Paris Hilton. At least shark attack victims don’t look like that on purpose.
Jessica Simpson is facing a federal lawsuit after a woman named Mara Fox filed papers accusing Simpson of copying the trademarked name “love potion”. Fox launched Love Potion
beauty products back in 1989 and now believes Simpson infringed her copyright when Simpson launched Dessert Beauty Deliciously Kissable Love Potion in 2004. Fox’s Love Potion is a combination of oils claimed by her as an “an Authentic Potion for Love!
More from the SAG awards last night, this time from the television side, where Desperate Housewives won Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series - inexplicably beating Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm - and Lost won Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series. Honors for the actors included Sean Hayes of Will and Grace beating Larry David for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series, Felicity Huffman of Desperate Housewives won Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series, Kiefer Sutherland won Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series for his work in 24, and Sandra Oh of Grey
The Screen Actors Guild Awards were handed out last night, and the only major surprise was Crash winning for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture. Brokeback Mountain has long been considered the favorite in what is basically the SAG version of Best Picture. Philip Seymour Hoffman won Outstanding Actor for his work in Capote, Reese Witherspoon won Outstanding Actress for Walk the Line, Paul Giamatti won Outstanding Supporting Actor for Cinderella Man, and Rachel Weisz won Outstanding Supporting Actress for the Constant Gardner.
I used to have a buddy who would come too fast when he was having sex, so he tried to rub on some of that numbing gel after a little oral right before he and his girl had sex one time, but then he came while rubbing on the numbing gel, and then his girl tried to get him back to life but by then he was numb, so it was just a total disaster. I mention this because there’s nothing to really say about the fawning ass-kissing that is the SAG awards, and also because maybe my buddy could have used the pictures of practically anyone who was there last night because without exception, everyone looked like absolute hell.
Reese and Rachel, who is five months pregnant by her boyfriend, director Darren Aronofsky.
Charlize Theron tells Empire magazine that she often gets turned down for action roles because of the size of her chest, claiming that directors can’t get a certain type of shot with her:
“I knew I wouldn’t just be running around with big tits and kicking things. I’m not good at that. I haven’t got any tits.”
Yeah, ooohh, the world is on pins and needles to see you in more action films, Charlize, if only you had a bigger rack. Look hun, the problem isn’t the size of your tits, it’s your wooden line delivery and the fact that even though you are pretty, you’re not sexy. And you don’t look like you’re any tiger in the sack, either. Even necrophiliac’s think you would be boring in bed.
Charlize last night at the SAG awards.
If you were wondering if Jessica Simpson’s taste in men could get worse after Nick Lachey and rumored affairs with Johnny Knoxville and Ryan Dunn, well then buckle the fuck up, because yes, it can. The pictures above show Jess waiting for her car early Wednesday morning outside Chateau Marmont, a hotel on the Sunset Strip, looking a little disheveled in an un-tucked baggy shirt. For the record, this is what she was wearing the night before. And the rumor is she disappeared with talent-free Maroon 5 lead singer Adam Levine. And, according to the New York Post, wasnt seen again until she was picked up by a friend. But I kind of understand, since I had a breakup recently as well, and I too slept around with some famous Hollywood stars to numb the pain. Except, replace the words “slept around with famous Hollywood stars”, with the words “watched Modern Marvels and cried when eHarmony commercials came on”. In hindsight, I guess our reactions weren’t very similar at all.
Jess a few days ago leaving Mr. Chows in Westwood.
