Fox released a second international trailer for ‘Prometheus’ last night, and it explains much more about the story and characters than any of the previous trailers.
WHAT WE LEARNED: Charlize Theron is the icy corporate person sort of in charge of the whole thing, some aliens are cobra sized and bitey, and the great Idris Elba is not so great at a Texas accent.
WHAT WE ALREADY KNEW: I sure would like to fuck Charlize Theron.
Lindsay Lohan actually did make it to Washington DC late Friday night and did attend the White House Correspondents dinner on Saturday (with her attorney as a chaperone), where she smiled and waved on the red carpet, blissfully unaware that Fox News only invited her as a joke.
Some are saying that the fact that she made it on time with (almost) none of the behavior we’re used to is proof that she’s changed. Others would point out that the only reason this is even being mentioned is because she’s lowered our expectations to the point were the simple act of making the hastily arranged back-up flight instead of getting high until dawn for the third night in a row is a glorious victory.
(image source of lindsays bloated fingers, saggy boobs and the moment she spotted the open bar = getty, splash)
Lindsay Lohan was expected to be on a plane to Washington D.C this afternoon so she could attend the White House Correspondents’ Dinner tomorrow night, but, shockingly, she missed the flight. There’s no official explanation for why she was late, but X17 does have a theory:
Lilo was partying until 6am this morning at a home in the Hollywood Hills. This was the second night in a row that she pulled an all-nighter at that house.
No wonder she missed the flight.
She’s now expected to be on a later flight, but who knows. Actually everyone knows, and Lindasy won’t be on that flight either because she’s a complete fuckup.
When Kim Kardashian first announced that she was keeping her wedding gifts, she justified it by donating $200,000 to a charity, an amount twice what the presents were estimated to be worth.
Of course Kim was the one doing the estimating, and it turns out she gave herself a very generous discount.
Kris Humphries wants to know what happened to a $325,000 wedding gift that was given to him and Kim Kardashian, Radar is reporting.
The former couple received the extravagant gift from a very wealthy Malaysian businessman who attended their wedding … Humphries wants to know why (Kardashian) didn’t factor it in when she made a donation to charity.
They also say that Kim has used this gift “extensively”, and that the total value of the presents is actually $700,000, not $100,000. Meaning Kim slighted the charity for people with a terminal illness by $1.2 million. “They’ll just waste it on wigs or some shit,” Kim thought. “Whereas I actually need that money for more lip gloss and pants with an elastic seat.”
For last nights live episode of ‘30 Rock’, the cast performed the show twice (once for the east coast and once for the west) and one of the biggest differences (here’s 25 more) was right at the beginning, when Jack McBrayer led a guest into Alec Baldwins office. For the east coast, the guest was Paul McCartney. For the west, it was Kim Kardashian. Which seems like an overly complicated way of telling the west coast to go fuck itself.
Luckily one thing that stayed the same was Jon Hamm as Tracy Morgans brother in a 60’s sitcom called ‘Abner and Alfie’. Which looks like it would be a really good show. That ol’ Abner is all gettin into monkeyshines!
‘The Wanted’ were guests on the April 13th episode of ‘The Voice’, and during an interview with a radio station this morning they were asked what that was like. You probably got the gist of their response from the headline. Vulture says:
(They were) asked about their recent ‘Voice’ appearance and let go on Christina Aguilera. “She’s a bitch!” Tom Parker yells three or four times. Then Siva confirms that she was “quite rude,” and Max spends a little while talking about how much hotter J. Lo is when compared to Christina.
Luckily for them, the Eskimo Pie factory wasn’t playing this station on their radio so Christina didn’t hear it.
Chris Brown is selling seven pit bull puppies for $1,000 each on a new site called CBBreeds. A name that actually sort of implies that he’s the one fucking the dogs and getting them pregnant but whatever.
A release from the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Los Angeles (spcaLA) called Brown a “backyard breeder” and encouraged the singer to use his celebrity to encourage shelter adoptions.
“There is no reason to breed and produce more Pit Bull puppies when there are Pit puppies waiting for homes in every shelter in America,” said spcaLA President, Madeline Bernstein in the statement. “The $1000 price tag for a Chris Brown puppy could be better spent money saving the lives of shelter animals.”
What a dynamite idea. The only thing the public embraces more than guys who beat their girlfriends is young black guys who breed enormous pit bulls. This should get mainstream America back on his side in no time.
Charlize Theron received the Distinguished Decade of Achievement in Film Award last night at CinemaCon (a convention of movie theater owners held in Vegas every April, where all the studios send stars and put on a big show to sweet talk the owners into putting their movies on more screens with more showtimes) and during her acceptance speech she started to feel her breasts. Probably because they had just shown a montage of Charlize Theron scenes, so it’s hard to blame her for getting turned on.
(image source = getty)
We know that Kim Kardashins mom slept around when she had Khloe, but what about when she had Kim? Because her mom doesn’t have a giant ass like this. Her real dad has to be someone ‘The Refrigerator’ Perry. And her real mom is a centaur and they found Kim in the woods.
(image source = splash, inf)
Swiss actress Michelle Hunziker and her daughter Aurora went to the beach in Miami today, and this hot bitch seems to be on the page a lot. And it’s always on some sexy beach. She’s never actually in Switzerland. Is there even a Switzerland? Or did someone blow it up like that place Princess Leia is from? To be honest there’s an image in my head when I picture Switzerland, and there’s meadows and sweaters and friendly goats and every single girl looks like Michelle Hunziker and they wear their hair in braids and it’s so impossibly perfect it wouldn’t surprise me if I was actually high right now and just made the whole fucking place up.
(image source = splash)
E! now says that independent sources have also told them that Lindsay Lohan was an unprofessional pain in the ass with no respect for anyone during her second day of the set of ‘Glee’ yesterday, which hardly even seems worth mentioning because of course she was. This story could have been confirmed 5 seconds after they casted her.
Sources on set have given us exclusive details of Lindsay’s guest appearance yesterday, including that the troubled actress was indeed “incredibly late,” and production had to send a car to the Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood to pick her up and bring her to set.
“Lindsay was a total nightmare yesterday,” says one (clearly less than thrilled) source on the Glee set. “She was three hours late in the morning, and when she did finally arrive, she just didn’t want to be there. She did not want to work. She had not memorized her lines, and she kept disappearing so no one could find her.”
Maybe next time they should write a scene where Lindsays character does some coke and blows a guy while she steals his diamond-studded watch. I bet she’ll be on time for that scene.
Kim Kardashian recently sent a card to everyone who attended her wedding and told them that, instead of simply returning the gifts they gave her (“I mean, I guess I could have mailed it. Like I did with the card you’re currently reading. And you would have your gift back right now instead of a form letter.”) she will donate them all to charity.
And, no, you didn’t miss her getting married again. This is still about her wedding 9 months ago, and the gifts she’s had (and perhaps been using) all this time. And the ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians” cast member who played her husband on the show would like to know why.
“Kris (Humphries) wants to know exactly which gifts are being given to which charity and why weren’t the presents simply returned? Kris just can’t fathom why Kim wouldn’t just do the right thing and return the gifts to their guests,” an insider tells Radar.
“He wasn’t given any consideration or any allowed any input regarding Kim’s decision, and the gifts were given to both of them not just Kim. Kris still wants Kim to return the gifts, period. It’s the right thing to do because the marriage just didn’t last.”
No, Kim is right, this is way better. She could go to some place that studies AIDS and find out if a crystal figurine of three monkeys will maybe stop it somehow. Because that’s the kind of thing she put her gift registry, and charities need more of that. Some lucky runaway at Covenant House is about to get a lightly-used Hermes dessert plate, making all his dreams come true.
