Whitney Port Cancun Bikini

It took me a while to remember who this chick was. The Jewish girl they let me on The Hills to avoid federal lawsuit. read more

Melissa Etheridge Throws Shade At Angelina

You totally wish Melissa Etheridge was your drunk aunt. You've got to have a pretty good sense of humor to let your lesbian partner be shot up with David Crosby's jizz. Seriously, you could have picked just about anyone, why a walrus with drug genes? read more

Kelly Clarkson Beats Nature

Kelly Clarkson had to be hospitalized both times she gave birth, a clear indicator that you're out of shape. She clearly had a traumatic experience. First she had her tubes tied. There's got to be a better way of saying that. read more

Kim Kardashian Taking the Heat

Kim Kardashian remain in torment, agony, and a safe room made entirely of fudge and cum ripple while recovering from her Paris armed robbery. According to sources who are almost certainly Kim's public relations team, Kardashian feels responsible for the marauders stealing... read more

Mr. Skin Podcast Talks Westworld and Robot Sex

On their latest podcast, Mr. Skin and his cohosts discuss the new HBO show Westworld and its delivery on nude promises. Naturally, this leads to a discussion on the morality of robot sex. They also break down Margot Robbie's SNL performance, and how her full-frontal nude... read more

Joe Buck Hair Plug Addiction

In his memoirs which you must read once you've read every single other book in the library, Joe Buck shockingly reveals that his addiction to hair plugs nearly cost him his life! Actually, maybe he only said his announcing career. Still, you've never heard of such a thing... read more

Bella Hadid Has Some Tasty Legs And Shit Around The Web

Bella Hadid has way better legs than her sister Gigi. She also has the celebrity lyme disease that skipped her sister. Seems unfair. I'd take the legs and the fake illness. read more

Sophie Turner Working Hard

Premium cable shows have figured out the formula for success in an era of declining TV viewership. You hire people who can really act to play the important parts and you cast a bunch of random good looking people for tons of nude scenes. read more

Pretty Older Women In Hollywood Refusing to Wear Makeup

Nothing smells of oppression worse than retaining a full-time makeup artist to make you look all dolled up, then complaining about being made to look like a doll. read more

Chrissy Teigen Shuts Out the Twitter World

Chrissy Teigen has chosen to lock out the Twitter world. Sort of like Mayweather decrying boxing. Outside of marrying the right guy, Twitter is the narrow purview of Teigen's chief success. read more

Brooke Burke in A Bikini

Brooke Burke is forty-five, a cancer survivor, and has jettisoned somewhere in the neighborhood of a half-dozen children through her birth canal. She looks fucking amazing. read more

Kendra Wilkinson Birthday Titties

While Kendra Wilkinson transitions more fully into a man, she's not going down without a shit ton of fake breast exposure. She's been sporting distinctively tit revealing tops for the past few months to remind of us her stripper past while slowly edging into softball... read more