Affleck Not Directing Batman

Ben Affleck has removed himself from the director role on the next installment of the Batman movie series which will never stop being re-booted. Protest that at airports. The timing of the release is based upon a decent number of people forgetting how shitty the last... read more

Jessica Harris Miami One Nighter And Shit Around The Web

Scott Disickditches Kardashian family vacay to go bone this model chick in Florida. She has a name. But he already forgot it so why should we remember? He seems like the smartest man in that whole shitty genre and he's a louse. read more

Babies Aren't Just For Women Anymore

The British Medical Association, presumably all well intentioned and well educated people who smell like baking soda and potatoes, have issued guidelines stating that the term 'expectant mother' is exclusionary to non-women who might become pregnant. read more

Miss France Astonishing Victory

WME/IMG bought Miss Universe from Donald Trump last year after a bunch of Spanish language networks refused to air the event after Trump offended Mexican rapists and drug dealers. Spanish language networks particularly relevant since nobody who speaks English has watched... read more

Miles Teller and Emma Watson Put Out

Resting pussy face Miles Teller and UN Ambassador Emma Watson were originally slated to be the leads in La La Land, the white bread throwback musical that is going to win Best Picture at the Oscars this year because affirmative action has a glass ceiling. read more

Ashley Smith Don't Mind the Gap

Everybody's an SI swimsuit model these days. It's like declaring yourself an actor in Los Angeles. There are ten thousand. Ninety-nine hundred are struggling with rent. read more

Kesha Rape Trolling Continues

It's not that Dr. Luke didn't rape Kesha, it's simply that she can't provide any evidence that he did. Also, that bugaboo where she testified under oath that he didn't. Besides that, her case remains strong. read more

Nick Gordon Reminiscing

Nick Gordon took to Instagram to post some photos of his dead sister/girlfriend/wife, Bobbi Kristina Brown. He also threw in some first person conversational pillow talk, in case dead people who you helped kill look at Instagram. read more

Nobody Going to the Grammy's This Year

Justin Bieber, Kanye West, and Drake are all passing on attending the Grammys even though they have 22 nominations between them. All three not so subtly noted how the young black man is being kept down by the Grammys. Though older black men, black Canadian Jews, and... read more

Izabel Goulart Excellent Bikini Adventure And Shit Around The Web

Izabel Goulart is a lean mean masturbation fantasy dream.She's Brazilian, so in your dreams, just assume she says yes to that nasty thing you've been wanting to try. Fuck, Brazilian hate mail forthcoming. read more

Serena Williams Now Pulling Taylor Swifts

There was a few years there where Taylor Swift was winning every single music award because fourteen year old girls were spending all their parents' money on her shit and the RIAA honors that appropriately. Swift's routine of pretending she was shocked to the core by each... read more

Kelly Bensimon in A Bikini

There's no SIC code in particular for lifestyle advisor, faux celebrity book author, and costume jewelry seller, but it certainly seems to be the lucrative business of many women previously married to relatively well known men. read more