lara bingle is in a bikini

By brendon July 06, 2010 @ 11:35 AM

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This summer has been awful in terms of celebrity bikini pictures, so it was a welcome relief to see Aussie model Lara Bing wrap her awesome body in a little bikini this weekend in the Hamptons. And considering how nice her tits are this might be a weird thing to notice, but she has really nice teeth. These pictures would be a good ad for toothpaste.

(source = pacific coast news)

oksana says she has pictures

By brendon July 06, 2010 @ 10:00 AM

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If you’re a public figure, there’s nothing worse for your reputation than to have an ex girlfriend tell the media that you’re a violent sociopath. Actually there’s one thing worse, and that is if you really are a violent sociopath, and she has the pictures to prove it.

(Oksana Grigorieva has) potentially explosive photos that will show her bloodied and bruised after a confrontation with (Mel Gibson).
Grigorieva received two black eyes and had two front teeth knocked out, the source, familiar with the case has told Radar Online.
“You can see Oksana’s two main front teeth were broken and there are bruises all over her face,” said the pal, who has seen the photos.
“They will come out eventually and she is prepared to use them in their court case.”

The only thing I can say in Mels defense is that he’s real religious and a raging alcoholic, and she has dark features and a spooky accent, so maybe one night he was drunk and thought she was a vampire. It’s not the greatest defense in the world or anything, but “superstitious drunk asshole” might be as good as it’s gonna get for this guy.

anna faris is completely naked

By brendon July 06, 2010 @ 2:00 AM

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Anna Faris is really really hot and really really funny, and by all accounts she’s one of the nicest people in Hollywood, which is why I’ve always said that she simply couldn’t be any more likable. But then she did get more likable by taking all her clothes off and running around naked, thus making me look like quite the fool. Touché Anna Faris.

(WARNING – these pictures, shot last night in Boston on the set of ‘What’s My Number’, also feature Chris Evans, and he’s naked too. While I’m a big Chris Evans fan because ‘Push’ and ‘Sunshine’ were really good movies that he was excellent in, and there was no better choice to play Captain America, I’m not a fan to the extent where I enjoy seeing his naked ass. So I clumsily photoshopped him out whenever I could, but you need to brace yourself when you get to the final 3 pictures.)

(source = fame pictures)

leann rimes is disappointing

By brendon July 06, 2010 @ 1:00 AM

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LeAnn Rimes spent the 4th in Santa Barbara by the pool with boyfriend Eddie Cibrian, and for the most part seemed to enjoy herself in this black bikini. So good for her. At least one of us is having fun with these pictures. Her body is okay but she could use some huge implants and from the neck up she looks exactly like the Flying Luck Dragon from Neverending Story. If I ever had sex with her while she laid on her stomach, the temptation to slap her ass and shout “faster, girl, faster!” would be overwhelming.

world cup girl larissa riquelme still wants to get naked

By brendon July 05, 2010 @ 2:28 PM

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Larissa Riquelme is the lingerie model from Paraguay whose tits made her the World Cups brightest star, and she famously said she’d run naked through the streets if Paraguay won the Cup.

The bad news is that Paraguay lost to Spain on Saturday. The good news is Larissa understands the healing powers of hot girls with huge breasts, and so yesterday she said she’s gonna do it anyway.

“It will be a present to all of the players, and for all the people in Paraguay to enjoy, because they tried as hard as possible and gave it their all on the field.”

Even though I’d rather see more of this Argentinian girl who emailed pictures of her amazing naked ass, and even though Larissa has been naked before (pictures here), this is still terrific news. Latin girls are so hot.  They have really pretty skin, and they usually have long hair and big tits and according to porn most of them do anal, but I’m scared to date them because they’re all insane.

It’s not that I think she’d kill me, but I think she would know people that would kill me, probably her brother. And then we’d have a fight about something dumb like a movie and she’d go tell him that I raped her. 10 minutes she’d have calmed down and forgotten about the whole thing, but that’s 5 minutes after what the cops would later describe as an “explosion of gunfire”.

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fuck you sean penn

By brendon July 05, 2010 @ 11:35 AM

Sean Penn, Reese Witherspoon

Sean Penn
has an inspirational interview in the current issue of Vanity Fair in which he begrudgingly opens up about his charity work in Haiti, where he’s lived for the past 5 months.

It’s inspirational because it proves you can just lie your ass off in interviews with major magazines and no one will fact check anything or call you on your bullshit if you’re a celebrity (more here). Penn goes back and forth to Haiti every few weeks, but so do drug mules, and he only does it for the attention. As proof of both those things, yesterday he was, A) back home in Malibu surfing with other rich Hollywood celebrities and B) once again wearing that stupid 10-gallon hat with the name of his charity written in enormous letters (here he is with it at LAX).

Gosh Sean, are you sure the hat is big enough? Will it get you all the attention you so desperately crave? Maybe you should put a flashing red siren on top too, just in case.

(source = inf daily)

you should follow tyler on twitter

By brendon July 03, 2010 @ 12:42 AM

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Because if you were following Tyler on twitter, when hot girls email pictures like the banner picture girl or this girl with E’s, they end up over there long before I can find some transparent excuse to post them on Tyler (like I did, rather poorly, for this one or this one, for example).

On a related topic, if you’re a hot girl you should take some fantastic pictures like this perfect angel did. She took them simply out of the goodness of her heart, but from now on you could make an easy $500. For standing in front of the mirror and looking hot. Which you do anyway, but until now no has paid you a cent! What is that all about! I think that’s terrible, and I’m not gonna sit here – LIKE A COWARD! – and watch you get exploited!

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Paris Hilton has been arrested in South Africa (update!)

By brendon July 02, 2010 @ 6:59 PM

Paris Hilton & Her Nipples Out In Santa Monica

Think of the scariest possible thing that could ever happen to a spoiled little brat like Paris Hilton. Now double it. Now double that. Now read this AP report about her getting locked up abroad for possession of marijuana…

Paris Hilton appeared briefly late Friday in a South African courtroom after being arrested on suspicion possession of marijuana.
Neither she nor court officials said anything and she was quickly led away to another room.
Hilton was detained in Port Elizabeth earlier Friday for possession of marijuana charges, two South African police officers said.
Hilton’s Los Angeles-based publicist, Dawn Miller, said she was awaiting details from the court appearance before commenting.
A police officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said Hilton was caught with an unspecified amount of marijuana.
“She was found in possession of some amount of dagga,” the officer said, using the local name for marijuana. “We don’t know how much. It’s a high profile person, only the top cops are dealing with it,” he said.

Based on nothing but racism I’m assuming African jails are a terrifying hell, especially for someone like Paris. She’ll be the guards instant favorite. At best one of them will steal her and trade her to another village for a door or a pound of nails or something. More likely in 6 months her vagina is gonna look like someone picked her up and swung her around by it.

DISAPPOINTING UPDATE – Aww god dammit. She’s already out. “The case has been dropped against Paris and no charges will be made.”