lets just get this over with

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 11:24 AM

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Look, you hate Lindsay Lohan, I hate Lindsay Lohan, and everyone knows she’s still the same spoiled cunt she’s always been and she’s never gonna have any semblance of a career in Hollywood again, but for some reason she’s still considered to be news. I assure you, if I could make todays headline be that Kate Upton and Megan Fox made a sex tape, I would do that. But I can’t so instead it’s about Lindsay and her bullshit.

First of all, she’s being sued by that woman whom she very obviously assaulted while in rehab, but even better than that…

Lindsay Lohan will be in a Los Angeles courtroom on Thursday morning because the Los Angeles City Attorney wants to revist LiLo’s partying while under house arrest, Radar is exclusively reporting.
Lohan has a scheduled progress report hearing and Judge Stephanie Sautner has ordered the actress, 25, to appear. Typically, defendants do not have to appear unless there is an issue.

You may remember there was a lot of confusion after Lindsay failed an alcohol test while under house arrest. The sheriff, the probation department, and the judge all thought she was subject to tests, but apparently that order had lapsed. Then the judge refused to renew the order, and today the DA will try, again, to have it reinstated.

Keep in mind, Lindsay told Vanity Fair she used drugs in December of 2005. 6 years, 5 trips to jail and 6 trips to rehab later, and she still is. She failed a drug test for cocaine on September 17, 2010. She failed a test for alcohol last month. She drank WHILE IN REHAB at Betty Ford. Yet the DA actually has to beg the judge to have her tested for drugs and alcohol. Because everyone deserves a 14th chance, according to the judge. “I’ve just got a lucky feeling this time,” she’ll probably say.

Matt Damon looks cool, is an actor

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 6:11 PM

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Matt Damon is in Vancouver today to start filming ‘Elysium’, director Neill Blomkamps follow up to ‘District 9′. It’s not really known what the movie is about, except that it’s “very violent”, takes place on another planet in the future, Jodie Foster is an evil alien ruler, and this and this might be viral videos for it.

Anyway, thats why he has a shaved head, and why he looks pretty badass. That image quickly faded however when he put on his little helmet and went bike riding with his little girl. It’s hard to look tough when you’re squealing, “weeeeeee!!!”

(image source = bauer griffin)

Katy Saunders looks like a good actress

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 5:06 PM

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English actress Katy Saunders spent the day at her hotels pool in Vietri sul Mare, Italy, today, and if you’re wondering why you’ve never heard of her, it’s because Cameron Diaz gets all the roles written for sexy young girls, and who could possibly argue with that.

(image source = splash and bauer griffin)

the Spider-Man trailer is officially online

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 3:35 PM

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Some dickhead bloggers already ruined the surprise, but the teaser trailer for the Spider-Man reboot is officially online today, and while I still don’t understand why we have to once again sit through the origin story that everyone already knows (*), seeing the final 30 seconds, when it kicks into POV mode, in full screen 1080, it already looks better than anything in the previous 3 movies. Then again, those movies had Kirsten Dunst in them, so I could say the same thing about my toilet.

(*) this is exactly why David Fincher passed on directing the first ‘Spider-Man’ movie in 1999: “But I wasn’t interested in the genesis, I just couldn’t shoot somebody being bitten by a radioactive spider – just couldn’t sleep knowing I’d done that.” Oh, but I think the article is mistaken and Wes Bentley from ‘American Beauty’ was his choice to play Peter Parker, not Ed Norton. This was really fascinating, wasn’t it?

Rihanna knows how to dress

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 3:18 PM

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After a sold-out concert at the Borgata in Atlantic City on Monday night, Rihanna did a little shopping around New York City yesterday. Presumably for some pants.

(image source = fame)

Paris Hilton walked out of an interview

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 2:37 PM







I can’t imagine why, but Good Morning America did an interview with Paris Hilton, and you’ll be amazed to learn she doesn’t think her time in the spotlight is over, and if you imply otherwise she’ll throw a little hissy fit.

Yet the ratings for (her new show ‘The World According to Paris’) have been bleak, and the low numbers have many entertainment writers asking whether Hilton’s run in the limelight — which started at age 16 — is now over.
Though Hilton said that she doesn’t feel that the people following in her footsteps, like Kardashian, are overshadowing her, and that the ratings on the show being low don’t bother her, she walked out of the interview with the mention of her moment having passed.

She later returned and explained, “I like to entertain people and make people smile.” So with that in mind, let’s see how she ended the interview. But first, if you want, here’s an article from this morning about the heat wave that’s choking the midwest. The heat index in Knoxville, Iowa, was 131 degrees yesterday. It was 124 in Freeport, Illinois. 13 people have died. A guy in Oklahoma died while mowing the lawn. His core body temperature was 108.

But I digress. Let’s get back and see how Paris ended the interview and made people smile.

When Hilton did return later to answer more questions, she managed to end the interview on an affable note, showing off her massive, air conditioned dog house.

Hmm. I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve seen better examples of someone not being a spoiled cunt.

Britney may have farted a lot in 2010

By brendon July 20, 2011 @ 12:16 PM

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Fernando Flores was one of Britney Spears’ bodyguards for 4 months in 2010, and he’s spent the last year and half trying to sue her for it to the tune of 10 million dollars. Every few months he files some new claim or talks to a tabloid, and each time there will be some salacious new detail that magically wasn’t included the time before.

In June of 2010 he claimed he quit because she was always walking around naked and sexually harassing him. A few weeks later he aded that she also hit her kids with his belt (after which she was investigated by Child Welfare and cleared almost instantly). Two months later he filed a lawsuit saying she hit her kids with his belt (and yes they were the exact same charges she had already been cleared of). Then last March he added that she also sent him naked pictures of herself.

None of this has made her pay him off yet, so today he’s adding that she took meth, farted a lot and picked her nose.

Seriously.

Britney Spears’ ex-minder has painted a disturbing portrait of the pop superstar in sensational new court papers — alleging she used various drugs including methamphetamines and a drug used to treat heroin or morphine overdoses. 
In recent filings of Flores’ lawsuit, a copy of which Radar has exclusively obtained, the former bodyguard ratcheted up his charges against the Toxic singer, claiming she broke wind and picked her nose “unapologetically,” did not shower for days on end, nor brushed her teeth or ever wore deodorant.
“Spears was generally personally unkempt,” Flores, 29, alleged.

At this rate I can’t wait to see his next update, when he files a new lawsuit claiming she chewed with her mouth open and left the lights on after she left a room. That should be good for a least another 2 million. THAT POOR MAN!

Bree Olson slept with another really famous actor

By brendon July 19, 2011 @ 8:14 PM

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Bree Olson was on a radio station in her hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana, yesterday, and during the absolutely scintillating interview (audio clip here), she reveled that Charlie Sheen isn’t the only famous actor she’s had sex with. Not only was there someone else equally famous, but according to her he’s won multiple Academy Awards.

HOST: And was Charlie Sheen the only celebrity that you’ve ever dated?
BREE: Dated? Yes.
HOST: Hooked up with?
BREE: I mean, you know, yes, but, man, if it got back, it would just be, I’m not the kiss and tell kind of girl, I will say he’s gotten a few Oscars and he’s been in quite a few blockbusters, recent ones as well.

HOST: Is this like a private jet flying celebrity, or is this like a first class on a regular plane celebrity?
BREE: A private, private jet. I mean we’re talking nice jet. One of the nicest jets I’ve been on for sure.

At first I thought it might be Kevin Costner, because he has 2 Oscars and allegedly had sex with porn star Holly Sampson, but unless Bree reads the trades everyday and knows that Costner is in the new Superman movie and the new Quentin Tarantino movie, he hasn’t done anything recently. Same with Mel Gibson (who also has a thing for porn stars).

Assuming she means the guy won multiple awards for acting, there isn’t a real long list to chose from.  There’s Dustin Hoffman, Jack Nicholson, Daniel Day-Lewis, Tom Hanks, Sean Penn, Robert De Niro, Gene Hackman, Kevin Spacey, and Denzel Washington.

When you look at it like that, there’s one obvious name that really jumps out. Tom Hanks. I think we all know it’s Tom Hanks.  The perv.

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