Charlie Sheen might be broke

By brendon March 09, 2011 @ 12:31 PM

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When Charlie Sheen got on twitter, he made a big point of mentioning that he was unemployed now and that twitter is “a cash cow” for celebrities who get paid to tweet ads. Which was weird considering Two and a Half Men paid him 2 million dollars an episode.

Well brace yourself for the shock of a lifetime but it turns out Charlie Sheen might not have handled his money wisely. Popeater says…

Sheen is making his fight against CBS and Warner Bros. about defending his honor, but sources very close to the actor tell me the real reason is the guy is “cash poor” and desperately needs the money to maintain his vast, complicated estate.
“Charlie has earned an enormous amount of money with this show, but he has also spent a fortune and now finds himself in the very tricky position of being cash poor.”

Sheens plan to sue is dumb, because he was absolutely in violation of his contract, but it’s amazing he even came up with that. I’m genuinely astounded that his plan didn’t involve shape shifting and kidnapping Mr. Burns.

Lacey Schwimmer and Romeo seem friendly

By brendon March 09, 2011 @ 11:10 AM

Romeo, Lacey Schwimmer

I’ve never heard of Lacey Schwimmer, but she was playing basketball in a bikini top with Romeo before rehearsals for Dancing With the Stars in West Hollywood yesterday, so I assume she’s one of the pro dancers. I also assume he’s banging her because he’s black and she’s a thick white girl. I didn’t do an ounce of research for this one in case you couldn’t tell. But after that some stuff happened, and then Kirstie Alley ordered a pizza with ham, pepperoni, bacon, and cinnamon rolls with double icing as toppings.

(image source = inf daily)

Nicole Trunfio is a good model

By brendon March 09, 2011 @ 10:34 AM

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The first time I ever heard of Aussie model Nicole Trunfio or saw her ass was over there, on the couch, where the dog is now, about 20 minutes ago while looking at pictures of the ‘Limitless’ premiere in New York, but believe me when I tell you that you could spend the next hour staring at it and it could easily be the happiest you’ll be all day.

(image source = splash news online and getty)

Charlie Sheen edition headlines

By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 6:48 PM

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If you told 10 people that you were planning to go on TV with some porn stars and call yourself a warlock and say how much you love drugs and tell your boss to go fuck himself, I bet almost none of them would say, “Oh yeah that’s a good idea.”

And yet that’s what Charlie Sheen is expecting from people who work with him, specifically his Two and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer. But Cryer hasn’t, and Sheen is handling it just as you might expect. He tells E!

“Jon has not called me. He’s a turncoat, a traitor, a troll. Clearly he’s a troll. He issued a statement. Is it gonna take me calling him a ‘traitor, juvenile and scared’ for him to get it?”

You’re gonna find this astounding but Sheen has his facts wrong, and Cryer has not issued a statement. But would Sheen talk to him if he did?

“What’s there to say? I’ll tell him ‘You’re a little late. Goodbye, troll.’ When I’m starring in multimillion-dollar films and he’s begging me for a supporting role I’ll say, ‘You left me out in the cold with all of your guilt and stupidity.’ “

I bet when Sheen announces his new movie, “The Warlock Who Traveled To The Pits Of Doom And Killed All The Trolls Even Chuck Lorres Mom Who Is A Whore And Had A DIck In Her Mouth When He Killed Her And It Was A Black Guys Dick And She Was All Like, Yeah Yeah I’m Chuck Lorres Mom And I Love This Black Guys Dick”, Cryer is gonna feel pretty silly.

In other Sheen news…

WARNER BROTHERS – fired Sheen yesterday on grounds that he violated the morals clause in his contract, so Sheen is suing them because he says he doesn’t even have a morals clause. In a sense, they’re both right. Except for Sheen. Who is wrong. (hollywood reporter)

ROB LOWE – is the new big name meeting with producer Chuck Lorre to replace Sheen on Two and a Half Men. First John Stamos, now Rob Lowe. It’s a parade of comedy legends. (tmz)

AUBREY O’DAY – bent over with her big jugs in a low cut dress while having her hands set in cement outside Planet Hollywood in Vegas. This is related to Sheen in the sense that he likes girls who look slutty.

Katy Perry has blue hair now, looks hot as f**k

By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 6:19 PM

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Katy Perry is in Paris for their Fashion Week, and earlier today at the Jean-Charles Castelbajac show she wore this sexy ass blue wig. I wish more girls would do cool punk stuff like this with their hair. It’s like banging a girl in a sci-fi movie. It’s the blowjob of the future, today!

(image source = splash news and pacific coast and bauer griffin)

“Lindsay isn’t going to know what hit her.”

By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 4:17 PM

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Lindsay Lohan will be in back in court on Thursday morning for her felony theft case, and just a few days ago she was reportedly on the verge of accepting a plea agreement even though that probabaly would have sent her to jail for 18 days.

Since then however, the jewelry store sold their security footage with Lindsay on it, and now she wants to reject the plea and go to trial because she thinks she can make the case that she was set up for publicity.

That. Would be. Awesome.

“Judge Keith Schwartz has already told Lindsay that if she pleas in front of him, he will be sending her to jail – but she absolutely refuses to accept jail time as part of any plea,” the source told Radar.
“Lindsay needs to recognize the fact that even if she chooses to go to trial on the grand theft charge, and is acquitted by a jury, she will still go to jail for the probation violation.
If Lindsay tells Judge Schwartz on Thursday that she ISN’T taking the plea deal, the case gets transferred to Judge Stephanie Sautner, who is a no-nonsense, tough as nails, by the book judge.
“Judge Sautner would conduct the preliminary hearing on the case, and if Judge Sautner rules that there is sufficient evidence to order Lindsay to stand trial, Lindsay will then be found in direct violation of her probation. No questions asked.
Judge Sautner would very, very likely sentence Lindsay to jail, ON THE SPOT, for the probation violation, and she would be remanded in custody immediately. The DA would ask for six months on the probation violation, and given Lindsay’s checkered past, Judge Sautner would probably concur.”
“Judge Sautner is both revered and feared in the legal community – she is known to be fair, but takes a very firm approach with repeat offenders, which Lindsay is, and this has Lohan’s camp very concerned as Lindsay doesn’t seem to grasp that this is potentially the toughest judge she has ever faced.
“Judge Sautner doesn’t care if you are a celebrity or not, she is fair, but make no mistake, with repeat offenders, she shows no mercy. Lindsay isn’t going to know what hit her if she doesn’t take the deal.”

We’ve been teased with stuff like this before, stories about how tough her new judge will be and it never seems to work out. What about those tribal “judges” in Africa who cover guys with ants and cut girls clits out. Can we get one of them?

the new Tomb Raider movie will have a new Tomb Raider

By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 2:29 PM

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E-harmony rejected my profile because I said I was looking for a super hot girl with long hair and big tits who dresses slutty. I should have bought the rights to the Tomb Raider franchise because then I could have put that exact same thing in Entertainment Weekly.

Producer Graham King (The Departed, The Town) announced today that he’s acquired the film rights to Lara Croft, and plans to reboot the Tomb Raider franchise … (he) intends to bring her back to theaters in 2013. 
King describes the new plan in a press release as a “reboot.” He knows Jolie well, having recently worked with her on The Tourist, but she hasn’t expressed much interest in returning to the character.

Jolie was 25 in the first Tomb Raider in 2001, and 27 in the second one in 2003, but Harrison Ford is 90 and they put him in Indiana Jones 4. His punches looked like a cat trying to swim and they made a whole movie about it.

it’s Lindsay Lohans jewelry store surveillance video

By brendon March 08, 2011 @ 12:31 PM







Entertainment Tonight aired some surveillance video last night, footage from the day when Lindsay Lohan reportedly stole a diamond necklace from a jewelry store in Venice.

They do have the complete 42 minute video, with 4 different camera angles, but there’s no sound and this clip doesn’t prove anything, except that her mom was lying when a “source” said Lindsay had two witnesses, her friend and her assistant, in the store with her who would testify that Lindsay was told she could borrow the necklace.

I heard that in the full video, in the end she throws a smoke bomb down and makes her escape by shooting out the window. Nah I just made that up. That would have been awesome though.