SHARON STONE SAYS IT WAS A LIE

By brendon September 25, 2008 @ 12:42 PM

Earlier this week it was reported that Sharon Stone had lost custody of her adopted son to ex-husband Phil Bronstein, but today her lawyers claim that’s not the case.  Fox News says…

the actress went to court in hopes of gaining permission for Roan to be enrolled in a school in the Los Angeles area (where she resides) rather than in Northern California, where he currently lives with his father and her ex-husband
the request was rejected and according to the court minute order dated Sept. 12, this was because Bronstein "can provide a more structured continuity, stable, secure and consistent home for the child."

That last sentence may be one of the truest things ever written. You could put this kid in a better home just by shooting him out of a canon into any random direction.  Sharon Stone is an idiot who never has any idea what the fuck is going on.  According to Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone is a genius who makes a difference.  According to everyone else, Sharon Stone is a moron, albeit entertaining in her stupidity.  If you told her it would save the penguins or some shit, you could have her scooching her ass across the snow, no problem.

(go back here to see the pictures of her attacking Venice with that puffy old vag)



JESSICA ALBA IS FASCINATING

By brendon September 25, 2008 @ 12:07 PM

Jessica Alba isn't even doing anything in these pictures from Mexico, and yet, I can't stop staring.  Her ass is awesome.  God and satan could be in a gun fight behind her and I’d still just stare at that ass.  I think I’m in love.  And it might be mutual.  Are guys picking up on all the sexual tension between me and these pictures.  Slow down Jessica Pictures, the chase is part of the fun.

CASH WARREN REALLY LIKES THOSE SHORTS

By brendon September 25, 2008 @ 7:11 AM

Three years ago, Jessica Alba and Cash Warren went to a beach in Mexico, as seen in the picture on the left.  Fast forward to this week, where they returned to the same beach, as seen on the right.  At first I thought Cash had grown 7 inches and maybe he just buries his shorts at the beach so they’re there when he needs them if he comes back, but it seems clear these are different shorts.  Meaning he bought two pairs of identical blue crow swim trunks.  His mindset seems to be, if surf shorts don’t have a camouflage pattern of aquamarine crows on them, how good could they really be?

(picture source = splash news)



MY HEART WAS IN MY THROAT

By brendon September 25, 2008 @ 6:56 AM

After hanging upside down for 60 hours, master of the occult David Blaine leapt into madness last night with his heart-stopping Dive of Death before being taken hostage by the night, ripped into the darkness by an unseen hand.

Another way to say it would be that David Blaine occasionally hung upside down, when not taking a ten minute break every hour, then stepped off a reasonably high platform while strapped to harness that looks like ones they use to tie tanks to parachutes before they get dropped behind enemy lines.  He came within 20 feet of the stage below, then kinda did a kicka kicka thing as he waited an awkwardly long time before the crane lifted him off camera.

As host John Saunders said, it was absolutely incredible.  My buttoned down world of science and reason have been shattered.  He’s some kind of superman.

EXCLUSIVE: NEW GND DRAMA

By brendon September 24, 2008 @ 6:13 PM

I don’t know if anyone cares about more "Girls Next Door" drama, but this crap took me forever so you’re reading it whether you like it or not.  Here’s everything I know as of now, and this is stuff you won't hear anywhere else.:

 - The sixth season will be the last for Girls Next Door.  Hef has made the decision to end the show and his relationship with Kendra and Bridgett.  He and Holly are still together, for now.  Season 5 will be the last with the three original girlfriends.  Season 6 will focus on finding replacements, maybe two, maybe three.
 - The search is already underway.  Two new girls, one 19 and one 22, were at the Playboy mansion this past weekend as possible replacements.  They are not current Playboy or professional models, both have regular jobs.
 - Miss October 2008 Kelly Carrington may be on the short list to become one of the new girlfriends.
 - Dasha (this girl) is not on the list to replace Kendra or anyone else.  That story was put out by her people.  There is no validity to it.
 - Kendra is absolutely engaged to Hank Baskett.  She has to deny it publicly for the sake of the show but in reality Hef knows and is fine with it.
 - Bridgett really has not had sex in three years.  She is dating someone but they have not slept together.  It's not clear why, maybe a lingering sense of loyalty to Hef.  He would not care if she did.  Hef adores Bridgett and wants the best for her, including a happy relationship, as long as its kept quiet for a few more months.
 - Hef is with Holly, Holly is with Hef.  For now.  They have made no decision about their future.  He can't marry her but they have tried to have kids, so far unsuccessfully.  She is not sleeping with Criss Angel.  She does like spending time with Criss, but she also like spending time with Dave LaChapelle and other flamboyant gay guys.  Feel free to reread that last sentence and draw your own conclusions.

The hot naked chick here with flour all over her is Kelly Carrington by the way.  At least I think that’s flour.  It's either flour or a ghost just jacked off on her.  I'm not gonna lie to you, I think it might just be flour. 



KATY PERRY IS HUGE

By brendon September 24, 2008 @ 1:40 PM

On the Stern show one day Katy Perry said she had DD breasts, which sounded suspicious because she never really looked that big (more on that here).  But today this mysterious candid of her in a see-thru nightgown showed up and it’s clear her chest really is that big.  The only question is where did the picture come from.  Could it be … Heaven?



DREW BARRYMORE IS SMOOTH

By brendon September 24, 2008 @ 12:19 PM

The lingering rumor is that "Gossip Girl" stars Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick were secret lovers, but last night Westwick was caught in a public make-out session with Drew Barrymore.  And yeah I don’t know what point this page turned into a Gossip Girl fan site either.  Us magazine says…

Barrymore and Westwick were spotted "in a full-on make-out session" at a NYC concert for alt-rockers Kings of Leon Tuesday night.
Westwick's co-star Chace Crawford was also with them in the V.I.P. area at Webster Hall, but contrary to blog reports, he was not kissing Barrymore.
After the concert, Barrymore, 33, and Westwick, 21, took their PDA to Bowery Electric, according to New York's Daily Intel.
It is the second time in a week that Barrymore and Westwick locked lips, another source tells Us.
They were spotted chatting this past weekend at a Saturday Night Live after-party, which The Kings of Leon also played.

Vanity Fair got the picture above, showing the unchained heat between these two.  Although, oddly enough, this does very little to discourage the rumor that Ed is into boys.  Look at that disinterested body language.  I don't mean to brag, but I've kissed several girls over the years, and it didn't look like this.  He might not even be alive in this picture.

LEIGHTON WAS BORN IN JAIL, PT 2

By brendon September 24, 2008 @ 11:34 AM

Just about three weeks ago, Star magazine broke the story that "Gossip Girl" star Leighton Meester was born in jail while her mother was serving a sentence for drug trafficking (more on that here).  Denials were made all around, but oh hey guess what.   Us magazine goes to newsstands today and has Leighton admitting everything for the cover story.

…her mom Connie was pregnant with Leighton when she entered federal prison in Texas. At 29, she gave birth while she was just beginning her sentence following a conviction for her involvement with a drug ring that smuggled 1,200-pound shipments of marijuana into the United States from Jamaica. Her father, Doug, also served time for being part of the smuggling operation. Today, Doug works in construction and Connie is a screenwriter.
"Anything that her mother and I did that was questionable occurred before she was born," Doug, who split from Connie in 1992, tells Us.
Meester's rough start gives her perspective today.
"It makes me very nonjudgmental and open-minded," the 22-year-old tells Us. "And I think it just makes me appreciate the things that I have now."

Whatever.  I’m not buying her nice girl act.  Look at her.  That bitch is trouble.  We need a hero to stand up, to reclaim the night and take back the streets from hard ass bitches like Leighton Meester!  Won’t someone help us?!?!