CBS knows Charlie Sheen is a degenerate

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 6:52 PM

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Charlie Sheen is the star of televisions number 1 sitcom, but mostly he’s famous for being a functioning drug addict and all around piece of shit. Now, the head of CBS says she’s worried about his behavior, but as long as he eventually makes it to work and mumbles out his lines, he can rape as much coke as he wants.

“We have a high level of concern,” said Nina Tassler, CBS entertainment president. “How can we not?”
Tassler said she has given a great deal of thought to Sheen on a “human level,” but the situation can’t be viewed simplistically. The actor does his job reliably well on “Two and a Half Men,” she said.
A reporter suggested a person in a different line of work would be fired for involvement in similar incidents.
“What do you get fired for? Going to work and doing your job?” Tassler asked.

I find it hard to believe that Charlie Sheen is really worth all this trouble, but I’ve never watched that show so maybe he is. If I had my choice between watching Two And A Half Men or watching some old gay guys 69 each other, I would at least wanna know if the gay guys were in one of those really nice houses in the Hollywood Hills, because it would kind of drag me down to know that a couple of elderly queens had a nicer house than me.

Friday headlines

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 4:30 PM

Captain America: The First Avenger

CAPTAIN AMERICA – has released a new pic, this time showing Chris Evans in full uniform during WWII. Long after we stopped using shields. Why did people stop using shields? Those seem helpful. (ew)

RYAN REYNOLDS AND SANDRA BULLOCK – are still doing all the things people do when they’re dating yet they claim their not dating. Now he’s reportedly bonding with her adopted son. So he went from 26yo Scarlett Johansson to a woman literally 20 years older with a baby. Is he dying or something? (us)

SELMA BLAIR – is pregnant. Will this interfere will her making more movies I’ll never see? There’s honestly no way to know. (star)

ALICIA SILVERSTONE – is also pregnant. Oh and I bet her body will just snap right back. She seems like that type. She’d never let herself go. I’ve got a good feeling about this one. (people)

Lindsay Lohan was turned down for Celebrity Apprentice

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 1:44 PM

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We really need to preface this story about the person who didn’t make the cut for Celebrity Apprentice by listing all the misfits who did.

La Toya Jackson, Gary Busey, David Cassidy, Meatloaf, Lisa Rinna, Dionne Warwick, Richard Hatch, Marlee Matlin, Nikki Taylor, Jose Canseco, Hope Dworaczk, Mark McGrath, Lil Jon, John Rich, Star Jones, NeNe Leakes

As you can see, it’s a parade of Hollywood royalty. Every name, an entertainment legend. So Lindsay should be honored to have even been considered. Life and Style says…

Lindsay Lohan was rumored to be a part of this season’s Celebrity Apprentice, but the Donald turned her down.
“[The Lohans] approached me, and we did talk about it. It’s just not the right time,” Donald Trump told Life & Style. “Lindsay has to straighten herself out first. And I know Dina, she’s a really lovely woman. I don’t think she gets very much credit – she’s tried. I know Michael a little bit. It could happen in the future, but right now we need to see Lindsay get straightened out.”

It’s too bad because we both know Lindsay would have ended up going down on everybody to win the challenges. That unrated DVD would sell more copies than the Bible.

Kim Kardashian is good at twitter

By brendon January 14, 2011 @ 11:14 AM

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Kim Kardashian doesn’t really do anything of course, but before this our famous celebrities who didn’t really do anything were fug whores like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Remember that? What the hell was that all about? So at least Kim is hot, and goes on her twitter and posts pics of her kick ass rack. The only way to get even more intimate pictures of Kim is to be black.

first look at Andrew Garfield as Spider Man

By brendon January 13, 2011 @ 5:44 PM

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Sony has released a picture (full size here) of Andrew Garfield as the new Peter Parker in the reboot of Spider-Man (which should be done filming in a few weeks but doesn’t come out until July 3rd, 2012), and apparently part of the storys re-imagining is to have him truly not give a fuck if anyone knows his secret identity. The movie might as well just be called Peter Parker. Christ, does it have his name on the back too.

Rihanna got a new haircut

By brendon January 13, 2011 @ 5:22 PM

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By all accounts Rihanna (seen here last night at a Clippers game in LA) is a perfectly nice woman and everyone seems to like and she’s a good singer, but very obviously her new bang haircut sucks. If this were American Idol, these pictures would be turned into a montage with that ‘So You Had a Bad Day” song playing over it.

Olivia Munn should be on more talk shows

By brendon January 13, 2011 @ 3:49 PM

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Olivia Munn is out promoting her new NBC sitcom Perfect Couples, and that means things like appearing in Maxim and going on David Letterman. Even better it means tweeting out pictures of her cleavage while waiting to go David Letterman. This would also be a good ad for whatever brand of cookies those are. The secret ingredient is tits.

Gwyneth Paltrow has advice for “other” working moms

By brendon January 13, 2011 @ 3:05 PM

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I know some people who have worked with Gwyneth Paltrow and they say she’s delightful but that seems impossible to believe. Because she’s a complete cunt, delusional and arrogant beyond all comprehension.

The latest proof: on her website GOOP, Paltrow, who is worth 90 million dollars and got married in a castle, has advice for “other extremely busy working mothers.” Yes that said “other”. Because that’s what she considers herself. And just like all working moms, after she drops her kids at school…

Did dance aerobics for 45 minutes then all of the butt lifts and the like. Rushed upstairs to have a shower, doing my post workout stretch while the conditioner was doing its magic on my hair to combine activities/save time. Dressed quickly and rushed downstairs.

Her day is essentially filled with stuff like that. The stuff that real working moms do when not at work or being a mom. The stuff they have to squeeze into one hour on the weekend is Paltrows entire life, but she’s here to tell them how to do it. Because they don’t know. They need tips from Gwyneth Paltrow.

I’m honestly shocked that she isn’t punched in the face at least once every time she leaves the house.