afternoon headlines

LEANN RIMES – She’s been married for seven years to backup dancer Dean Sheremet, but new pictures show her kissing actor Eddie Cibrian. Top magazines tell me this is shocking, so I’m shocked, but not as much as I would be if I knew who any of those people were. “This is... read more

if only he really was doing this

Star magazine says today that John Mayer is considering a tell-all book about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, where he’ll, um, you know, tell all. Including the time during sex when ... when ... wait for it ... she called him “Brad”. Star, go:...what embarrassing... read more

madonna cant hold her men

Madonna’s new ... whatever, that model dude who is clearly gay but she hangs out with, is 22. She’s 50. Brace yourself for shocking news, because he may be looking around. The Sun UK says...Jesus was seen tenderly clasping lingerie model Luciana Costa as they swayed to... read more

ri may have dumped chris brown

I don’t know if you heard, but Chris Brown beat the hell out of Rihanna a few weeks ago. More specifically, he “held her close and bit her left ear. He stopped the vehicle and she turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it. Brown did not know what... read more

morning headlines

Because this is the most your bipolar ass can focus on first thing in the morning.NATASHA RICHARDSON – Natasha is now in a NYC hospital but a family friend says, “There is no chance. It is a fact that her heart is beating but she is brain dead.” Doctors say it is... read more

this is not going well

OK! magazine now says...In a devastating turn of events, OK! has learned that Natasha Richardson has died after suffering a fatal brain injury while skiing in Canada. A source close to the actress's family confirms to OK! exclusively that Richardson, 45, was considered... read more

evening headlines

KATY PERRY - On Friday, because of this, I forgot for a few seconds why I think I would punch Katy Perry. Oh, wait. Yeah here we go: “I fart a lot. I'm hopping around. I'm a little gassy. I don't care. It's my stage.” You know what, I don’t care how big her tits are ...... read more

oh no - crappy 2nd update

Jeez this is sad, but the New York Post said 30 minutes ago that Natasha Richardson's seemingly harmless skiing accident has left her brain dead, and she will be flown back home to New York today so her family and friends can say goodbye before she’s taken off life... read more

jake and reese are engaged

Star magazine says today that Indiana Gyllenhaal has proposed to Reese Witherspoon twice already, and slow to take the hint, he tried it again. This time his girlfriend for the past two years said “yes”, and even though she didn’t want to marry him before, now she can't... read more

oh good. terrific.

Kim Kardashian has pictures up taken for GQ with her boyfriend, running back Reggie Bush of my beloved New Orleans Saints (more here), and they’re like an erotic version of his game highlights. By that I mean he isn’t upright in any of them. That’s not coincidence. Trust... read more

this is gonna be a good movie

Kat McTits showed off a unique ability to never do anything right after she got done with “American Idol”. She complained about her label, married some doofus twice her age (this dork) and generally just seemed annoying. But she’s pretty and has a good voice and she did a... read more

madonna is gonna lose her mind

I can’t say “brasserie” without giggling, but Guy Ritchie and Elle Macpherson spent about 4 hours having dinner at the Notting Hill Brasserie in London last night. Hopefully Madonna has already killed herself because all she cares about is winning, which is why she’s... read more