Angelina Jolie is helpful, delusional

By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 1:35 PM

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As part of her work with the UN Human Refugee Agency, Angelina Jolie spent the weekend visiting Pakistan, “to draw the world’s attention towards the plight of 21 million people affected by the country’s worst-ever floods.” And I don’t know about you, but now I’m super motivated to help Pakistan. They were doing so great until this, so friendly and helpful, not insane or murderously violent at all. FAST FACT: Pakistan’s leading export is Smiles.

(seriously though, fuck these people. if I could I’d mail them a bucket of water to make the flood worse.)

Kate Beckinsale won the bikini contest

By brendon September 07, 2010 @ 12:12 PM

SEMI-EXCLUSIVE: Kate Beckinsale And Family Enjoying Their Labor

Kate Beckinsale and her husband, director Len Wiseman, went to Mexico over the weekend, and Kate proved once again that she’s better at being a wife than anyone has ever been at anything. She dresses like Catwoman every single day of her life, but even at the beach in the sand, she’s wearing high heels. She might as well be balancing on a ball, this has disaster written all over it, but Kate is a pro, and looking hot is worth the risk.  I honestly have no idea how she does it. Sexy bitch is like a mountain goat.

(image source = flynet)

Lindsay Lohan only barely hit a baby with a car

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 5:49 PM

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Every time Radar gets an big exclusive story, TMZ will immediately try to undermine it. Today, Radar said Lindsay Lohan hit a baby with a car. Guess what happened next…

An eyewitness to the alleged Lindsay Lohan “hit-and-run” tells TMZ … the photogs who sold the after-the-fact video are lying.

There’s a nameless source who says it’s all bullshit? What a lucky break!

The eyewitness — a photographer — says Lindsay was leaving her apartment building Wednesday (not yesterday) and was turning onto Holloway Drive with a green light.

You hear that people in the crosswalk? Signal or not, fuck you.

Read more >

Jessica Albas shirt is slightly see thru

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 4:37 PM

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Jessica Alba arrived back in the US today after a few days in Venice to promote ‘Machete’, and when she landed at LAX there wasn’t a frown to be seen, because she was wearing a shirt made by someone who had never seen a shirt before, but had heard about them once, although only briefly, and what he heard left out some important details.

(image source = splash news online)

50 Cent says to blame it all on TI’s wife

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 4:05 PM

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When T.I. and his visually disturbing wife Tiny Cottle were arrested in West Hollywood Wednesday night for possession of a controlled substance, reportedly marijuana and meth, it was a clear violation of his probation, and as the LA Times says, “the case has the potential to put one of music’s top names in behind bars yet again.”

Ahh, but wait just one second, because 50 Cent went on twitter with a magic solution…

Man TI and Tiny done got picked up again for methamphetmines and ecstasy dam man. Tiny gotta take that charge. Say it was yours baby.

If Tiny doesn’t volunteer, T.I. should just blame her anyway. I don’t know if they’re friends, or if rap guys have a problem taking advice from one another, but T.I. should listen to 50. Just the fact that he never married anyone that ugly already makes him a thousand times smarter than T.I.

Denna was in a bikini too. :(

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 2:21 PM

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Just to follow up on the story below, JWoww didn’t go tanning by herself. Denna Cortese was there too. Sometimes paparazzi pictures are blurry and out of focus. Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.

(image source = pacific coast)

JWoww in a bikini: the Portrait of a Lady

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 2:02 PM

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Last night on the ‘Jersey Shore’, JWoww got into a profanity-fueled fist-fight with Sammi Sweatheart, but today she wrapped her huge awesome breasts in a bikini and got some sun. And it was awesome. Especially the way her legs just kind of flop open when she’s on her back. Probably out of reflex. I would bet that this chick has been on the losing end of a roofie on more than one occasion.

(image source = pacific coast)

Lindsay Lohan hit a baby with her car

By brendon September 03, 2010 @ 12:08 PM

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Proving once again that she’s a complete menace and hasn’t changed in any way, Lindsay Lohan hit a stroller with a baby in it while pulling into traffic on Wednesday, then stayed on the scene until help arrived. That last part was a lie of course. She just drove away. Radar says…

The two onlookers identified (Lohan) in her West Hollywood neighborhood around 5pm Wednesday, when she accidentally hit the woman and child after failing to look both ways before turning.
“There was a woman pushing a kid in the stroller, maybe a two or three-year-old, crossing the street,” witness Brayan Jaime (said). “Lindsay took the red light and hit the stroller. It wasn’t super hard, but she made impact and hit them. Lindsay pulled to the right, stopped for two seconds, and then just kept going.”

But don’t just take his word for it…

Radar has also obtained exclusive video taken just moments after the incident occurred in which Lohan’s luxury Maserati can be seen speeding away.
At the same time, the child can be heard crying in the stroller.
The woman in the video is seen looking back at Lohan’s car in disbelief as she continues to cross the street.
“I’m 100 per cent sure Lindsay was driving because I saw her with my own eyes,” Jaime said.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate kids, and I’m all for running them over, but I’m almost positive it would be illegal. At least where I live. Will anything happen to Lindsay? Probably not. If anything the cops will just make her tie a pillow to her bumper from now on.