Jessica Alba in Awake

While I sit here clicking "refresh" during this brutally slow day, here are some stills of Jessica Alba on the set of her next movie Awake. Alba co-stars with Hayden Christensen in the film about the phenomenon called "anesthetic awareness," which leaves patients paralyzed but fully conscious during surgery. They remain completely aware of their surroundings and they can feel every slice of the knife, but they cannot...read more

Chris Klein is borderline retarded

Hollywood nobody Chris Klein put on more lip gloss and ran his mouth to Elle magazine recently, and did what previously seemed impossible, namely making Katie Holmes new boyfriend look cautious and level headed. The C-list jerkoff who describes himself as an "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's" covered a host of topics, and managed to sound like a brain-dead ass on every single one of them. Some of the gems...read more

Paris Hilton is so completely hateable

I read this story about semen transport system Paris Hilton at least 5 times cause there was no way that even she is this insanely desperate for attention. This does talk about a monkey, right? An actual, living, breathing monkey? Paris Hilton now walks around with a monkey? No way. Thereread more

Ashlee Simpson is an idiot

Things are bad when Jessica Simpson is calling you stupid. Even worse when she's right. As she was when she was overheard talking to her mom about sister Ashlee on the red carpet for the ACE awards last week. According to the New York Post, Jessica said: "Mom, Ashlee is so stupid. She left the popcorn in the microwave and almost burned the house down." Ashlee Simpson is so profoundly dumb that, if for some unfortunate...read more

Lindsay Lohan is not engaged

Despite some internet rumors to the contrary making the rounds today, Lindsay Lohan says she is not engaged to boyfriend Jared Leto. Rumors began to circulate when she appeared with a diamond on her ring finger last Friday,(see pictures below) a ring she was not wearing just a week ago at the Fendi store opening, but Lindsay explained that this was just a way to mess with the media little bit, a plan that would have...read more

Jude Law is not real bright

Jude Law and Sienna Miller reportedly locked themselves in a hotel room for 48 hours in an effort to rekindle their romance. After checking into Shutters on the beach in Santa Monica, they told staff that they wanted absolute privacy and reportedly never left the room. Their relationship might need some time alone because Law once again angered Miller last week by planning a Christmas vacation in Kenya with his...read more

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Jennifer Garner is freakin huge

(note - everything I wrote about pregnant women being creepy was just gonna be wildly offensive, so instead of publishing what I had, I just cut and pasted an article from Popular Mechanics about the rotaion of the Earths core. Enjoy!) In an effort that would capture the imagination of Jules Verne, scientists measured the speed of rotation of the earth's core. Their results reveal that it takes 23 hours 59 minutes and...read more

Angelina Jolie is Vesper Lynd. Maybe.

Following up on a previous post, word today is that Angelina Jolie has been offered the role of Vesper Lynd in the upcoming remake of Casino Royale. The Sun UK says that "film bosses" - probably at Sony, since no one in charge of James Bond has any idea what the hell they're doing - are desperate to cast Jolie, and she has read the script but so far isn't happy with the character. She is said to want the role...read more

Keira Knightley in New York

Someone wrote in to say that the Sun UK said that Keira Knightleys dress was a little lower than it should have been at the New York premiere of her latest movie, Pride and Prejudice. The Sun is well known to be the worlds greatest paper, but Iread more

Angelina Jolie is ready to go public

UK paper the Daily Star says that Angelina Jolie wants to go on television with Brad Pitt to talk about their relationship in an interview to be titled "The Worlds Least Surprising Story". She is said to be so fed-up with the rumors and gossip surrounding their romance, she wants to set the record straight. A source says: "Angelina's told Brad it's time they came clean about their relationship on TV. She's just...read more

Fergie is on the Sopranos

Stacy Ferguson - Fergie from the band with the dumbest name in world - has inked a deal to appear on the Sopranos. She'll play an undercover cop working in the strip club owned by Tony Soprano. Fergie is also set to for a role in the remake of the Poseidon Adventure, which is now filming. A source at HBO said: "The producers thought she'd be perfect because she's got such a toned body and has no problems flaunting her...read more

Mischa Barton is ready to open up

Mischa Barton has lived quite an exciting life, and now she's chronicling her tales of adventure for all of us, by penning her autobiography. She's 19 years old. WWTDD has been sent an exclusive early draft of the book, and you can read it here first: The Mischa Barton Story Chapter One: "Today I read words off a teleprompter. It took almost 30 minutes. Then I had sex with a monster." The End Wow, talk about steamy!...read more

Angelina Jolie is tricky

Did Angelina Jolie use voodoo to break up the marriage of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston? How should I know. Leave me alone, you guys. But 'Doctor Snake' thinks it's a possibility. And he's a doctor! Word is that Jolie gave Pitt a vial of gray powder to ward off accidents during the filming of Mr. And Mrs. Smith. Pitt told a friend that the vial contained the remnants of a bat. Doctor Snake, the author of cult...read more

Sienna Miller is unpredictable

This isn't the first time Sienna Miller has done stuff like this. She's flipped out on reporters before. She's actually American - born in New York - and we donread more