As everyone knows, the picture in the headline is Rihanna on February 8, 2009, a few hours after she was riding home from the Grammys with her boyfriend Chris Brown. He got a text from a girl, they had a fight, and he…
“shoved her head against the passenger window… (She) turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand (and) continued to punch her in the face… The assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.”
As awful as that picture is, it’s always been well known that it’s actually one of the most flattering ones, and that Browns worst fear was that some of the really bad ones would get out. But I bet Rihannas worst fear was having her boyfriend shove her face into a fucking window, so…
Never-before-seen images of a battered Rihanna have leaked. Radar has seen the four images that were offered to this site for publication. We declined.
The photos were taken in a Los Angeles emergency room where Rihanna was being treated after she was assaulted. (She is) pictured with large welts above each of her eyebrows, marks on both of her cheeks and a split lip.
The most graphic photo is a close-up; her left eye bloodied and bruised, with four lesions on her face and multiple cuts on her bottom lip.
A ruler is being held up which shows the reddish swelling to span two inches – from the bottom of her eye almost all the way down to her mouth.
In another image, Rihanna is shown pulling her busted lips apart to show numerous lacerations on the inside of her mouth.
There appears to be at least five major cuts on the inside of her lips.
I hope these get out. Chris Brown beat his girlfriend until she was almost unconscious. He’s a piece of shit and he deserves to have this haunt him every single day for the rest of his life. At this point his best bet is to just kill himself and roll the dice that he gets reincarnated as a popular singer again.
KIM KARDASHIAN – was naked in silver paint earlier this week, and some UHQ scans have finally made it online. I wonder how they got the paint so deep into her ass, because, it is all the way in there. Did someone have to stand there and hold her ass apart? It’s almost like this entire concept was thought up backwards, with the starting point being, “I want to rub Kim Kardashians ass for 30 minutes. How can I trick her into it?” (twitter)
CHRISTINA AGUILERA – has filed for divorce from Jordan Bratman, confirming reports that their 5 year marriage and 8 year relationship has come to an end. The story was too boring to find out why they’re divorcing, so I’m just gonna tell everyone it’s because he’s queer now. (e! news)
BILL O’REILLY – was on ‘the View’ this morning, and since Whoopi Goldberg are Joy Behar are both practically retarded, they give up and run away when they can’t get out of the corner that their horrible debating skills have put them in. How embarrassing, and how disrespectful to their employer Barbara Walters who was sitting right there. You should always respect your boss. That’s why I have all my interns bow to me when they enter the room like I’m some Japanese king. (video under the cut)
Snooki was on ‘Live with Regis and Kelly’ this morning, and it’s no wonder she wasn’t mad about ‘South Park’ last night. They actually might have made a few things better. “Havin a tail like dat wood be pretty cool, cause den deez gahhbage bitches could tell when I’m happy or when I aint playin or whateva. You know, so, like, if you see my tail down you bess step da fuck off me.”
Christina Aguilera used to be short and skinny with huge breasts, and even better, she dressed real slutty. She was perfect. But then she had to go have that dumb ass kid, and now she looks like… this.
No wonder she’s getting divorced. Her poor husband married a hot little piece of ass, now, what is she, the Hulk? Is she Bruce Banner, if she gets mad will she quadruple in size so she wears giant sweatpants? This is nothing less than a betrayal, and our divorce courts should treat it as such!
When we last saw Michael Douglas 9 days ago, he looked like he had just punched his way out of a grave, and there was nothing to say but AAAHHH!! But that was right after his fourth and final chemo treatment, so hopefully that was gonna be him at his worst.
He actually seemed to be in a good mood yesterday – perhaps because of his snazzy new hat – and though he looked slightly better than he did last week, he’s still unrecognizable from just one year ago. In September of ’09, he was still a dashing bon vivant, out tomcatting amongst the models at Fashion Week in New York. Now he looks like he should be wearing a cloak and holding a lantern, and you almost expect his jaw to fall off and hit the ground if he tried to talk.
You’ll never see ‘South Park’ win an Emmy for “Best Comedy”, because shows like ‘Two and a Half Men’ can still be edgy and hilarious without resorting to a bunch of potty language, but last nights episode about Snooki and New Jersey is all anyone is talking about today. Even Snooki, who went on her twitter just after the show and wrote…
“snooki want smoosh smoosh. im going to have nightmares tonight lmao!!! we’ve officially made it. goodnite my bitches.”
God dammit. Apparently South Park Snooki was so over the top that Real Snooki didn’t even care. I mean c’mon, the first time they even have her put her drink down before she humps some total stranger. Bullshit mistakes like that take me right out of the story. I was watchin it and I was all like, “oh whatever, this is so fake.”
(the video in the headline is all of Snookis scenes, or you can watch the entire episode on South Parks website.)
Jasmine Waltz, the girl who started dating David Arquette after he and Courteney Cox quietly separated about a month ago, is on the verge of being arrested for stealing my heart, by the love police, and hopefully her mugshot will be as hot as the one she took in 2000 (full size here) after being arrested in Orange County, Florida, for, “possession of less than 20 grams of cannabis.”
It was a misdemeanor and she pled no contest, but it’s nice to know that this hot bitch likes to party. Girls will let you do anything you want to them when they’re high. Even more so if you have a gun.
Yesterday morning, Miley Cyrus, her mom, and her 10 year old sister, stopped to pose for the paparazzi in the parking lot on the way to breakfast near their home in Toluca Lake.
During that breakfast, Miley, who was dressed like some tarted up hussy in a see thru shirt with no bra, got up and walked about 200 yards to yell at some lady who was quietly filming them. Because Miley didn’t want her sister filmed. The same sister in the pictures below, taken 20 minutes earlier. And the same girl who went to Halloween last year as some sort of a dominatrix.
No matter, because Miley didn’t want her being filmed. Any more. She can hardly comprehend the nerve of this woman, and even tells her to have some class. An insult that might have hurt a little more if the person saying it didn’t sound like a cartoon donkey.