jessica simpson isnt helping

By brendon March 12, 2010 @ 12:04 PM

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On Monday, people started to freak out because Howard Stern didn’t realize everyone was supposed to ignore that Gabourey Sidibe is morbidly obese and has to wash herself with a rag on a stick. After a clip of him ended up on youtube, all the other fattys and outcasts banded together to stand up for her. Here is an artists conception of what that might have looked like.

Now Jessica Simpson has gotten involved, because she let herself go to hell too and instead of getting back in to shape she wants everyone to pretend like this is okay. E says…

“I’m actually surprised somebody had the cojones to say that,” Simpson tells me from a New York City hotel. “I just think that’s really disrespectful.”
“It’s unfortunate because she walked the red carpet at the Oscars and she owned it,” Simpson said of the Precious star. “She was beautiful. There was no denying that she did not think she was the most beautiful person on that red carpet. She was just owning that moment for herself. She had such confidence and I absolutely 100 percent think she could get anything in the world that she wants.”

I agree. Just as long as everything she wants is on the first floor and within range of her Rascal. Or if she really wants diabetes and heart failure. Hopefully she doesn’t want a 30th birthday or a conversation with someone new that isn’t completely awkward, because those things aren’t gonna happen.

sean penn is lying about how wonderful he is again

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 5:08 PM

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Sean Penn has done tons of interviews lately to let people know that he doesn’t want attention for his charity work in Haiti, and to his credit he mostly talks about himself as part of a team. The only story that has come out about him specifically involved his rescue of two people from a collapsed building, a story with no evidence that it ever happened, or at least happened the way he said it did.

That part is kind of important because Penn has a history of exaggerating or just outright lying when reality doesn’t match his extremely high opinion of himself. That’s what he did after Katrina, and that might be what he’s doing with Haiti.

Read more >

timberlake is cheating on jessica biel again

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 4:58 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Justin Timberlake Flirting With Gogo Dancers In TAO N

Jessica Biel was in New York last night to introduce the documentary, ‘Summit on the Summit: Kilimanjaro’, which has something to do with the people being able to get clean drinking water (note – she’s for it). Jess actually climbed Kilimanjaro last year as part of the project.

Justin Timberlake, who Jessica has been dating since January of 2007, wasn’t able to attend the event with her though, because he was in Vegas with some friends runnin a train on some whores. Flynet Online says…

Justin Timberlake and friends partied in the VIP balcony of TAO nightclub until 2:30am. Justin spent most of the time flirting between cute blonde and brunette latin gogo dancers! Justin and friends left at 2:30am, the brunette was also seen carrying a LARGE bottle of champagne out for the after party in Justin’s luxury suit. Though they did not leave together, an eyewitness saw Justin staying behind and personally calling the gogo dancers to meet him by the elevators. Not even 10 min later, both gogo dancers showed up in there regular clothing texting and calling Justin. Justin came out of the elevator and personally escorted them up to his luxury suit!

Justin Timberlake has always been kind of a prick. He’s smart enough to keep that part in the shadows and be extra wonderful on camera, but he’s a dickhead. He cheats on Jess, he throws hissyfits, and according to my sources, he might be the Zodiac Killer.

christina ricci looks fun, drunk

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 3:12 PM

Christina Ricci

Christina Ricci was at the after party for Jean-Charles de Castelbajacs fashion show in Paris last night, and she was either really really drunk or dead. She can’t weigh more than 90 pounds (bikini pix, topless tat pic), so she could suck on a towel dipped in whiskey and probably black out in 5 minutes. I really like that quality in girls. I don’t have all day, ya know.

(image source = inf daily)

is jeremy renner gay?

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 1:50 PM

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When ‘The Hurt Locker’ star Jeremy Renner got the news that he was nominated for an Oscar as Best Actor, some people wondered about the hug between him and his male co-star. Those stories settled down after he was reportedly hitting on Jessica Simpson at a party in Beverly Hills, but he quickly killed that rumor by telling Us magazine that they had a polite conversation for 3 minutes about hair styles and that was it. Then on Sunday he took his mom to the Academy Awards.

None of this means he’s gay of course, but the National Enquirer is reporting that he is anyway. Queerty says…

Under the editorship of David Perel, the Enquirer has enjoyed its share of outings. Larry Birkhead. Gayle King. Meredith Baxter. And yes, everyone’s favorite “hiding in plain sight” ‘mo, Anderson Cooper. The tabloid’s batting average is pretty high, which lends some credence to their claims about the Oscar-nominated actor.
The Enquirer’s main evidence comes from a quote — given to another publication years ago — from a forming acting coach, who said, “I have never had the pleasure of meeting Jeremy’s boyfriend, but the fact that Jeremy is gay has never been a primary concern.”

Come to think of it, in ‘the Hurt Locker’ he joins the military even though he’s married to Kate from ‘Lost’, and while he’s in Iraq he becomes obsessed with finding a young man that he had a relationship with.

Damn you Gay Hollywood, you got me again!

alice eve knows how to dress

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 1:11 PM

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Paramount must really love ‘Shes Out Of My League’ because they’re spending a fortune to promote it. Last night they had a premiere in Vegas, but it seems like they’ve been all over the country. They were in Boston earlier this week, and last week they even sent Alice Eve to a Hooters in Atlanta. She never did commit to the outfit, which might have been for the best. Those stupid leggings they wear are creepy. It’s this weird tan color, it looks like they have prosthetic legs. Oohh, sexy.

this outfit almost killed gaga

By brendon March 11, 2010 @ 12:47 PM

Lady Gaga Catching A Flight In London (USA ONLY)

Lady Gaga never goes anywhere without one of her goofy outfits, no matter how painful looking it might be. That includes transatlantic flights, in outfits so uncomfortable they might literally kill her. The Sun says…

Her daft garb was so uncomfortable it brought on the early stages of the potentially deadly deep vein thrombosis.
The experienced flight crew told GaGa she’d best get it off quick or risk long-term damage.
An airline source said: “GaGa was a high-risk DVT case so she was advised to change out of her clothes. But the outfit was so cumbersome she needed help changing out of it. She was particularly miffed about ditching her heels. She was wearing them in memory of her friend Alexander.”

I can’t fault Gaga for this because I’m the same way. The other day at the beach one of the waves almost knocked off my derby and some sand got in my pocket watch, but it was a small price to pay for how handsome I looked.

(image source = flynet online)

kat von d is here to help

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 8:11 PM

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The last two days have sucked. You know it, I know, Kat Von D knows it. But at least she did something about it. She walked around Hollywood last night showing off her hot body in a half shirt and impossibly tight jeans. If her goal was to get me to stare at her vagina, she did an amazingly successful job.