Fergie and the rest of the Black Eyed Peas filmed a video in LA yesterday, and you can recognize Fergie because she’s the one in the ass-less body suit. The rest of the band is wrapped up head to toe. She has to dress this way because in Hollywood girls aren’t as good as normal people.
Carrie Prejean is in Hawaii today with her boyfriend Kyle Boller, and when they were frolicking in the water he was so busy picking through her hair the same way monkeys do, he didn’t seem to notice that most of her right breast was exposed. Her fans are gonna be so disappointed. The only frolicking she should be doing is with our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
When Jimmy Kimmel began his show earlier this week by doing an impression of Jay Leno and insulting him for 5 minutes, seemingly in defense of Conan O’Brien, Leno knew what he had to do: he had to have Kimmel on his show. And so that’s what he did. Oh and it went just great.
Question 5 LENO: Whats the best prank youve ever pulled? JIMMY: …I think the best prank I ever pulled was, I told a guy, 5 years from now, I’m gonna give you my show, and then when the 5 years came I gave it to him and then I took it back almost instantly. It was hilarious. I think he works at Fox or something now.
Question 6 LENO: Have you ever ordered anything off the TV? JIMMY: You mean like NBC ordered your show off the TV?
It actually gets worse after that. NBC and Leno really have their fingers on the pulse of America. That studio must have labels and stickers on everything so these doofusses don’t end up eating a hat, or finding a beaker with hissing blue liquid in it and stirring it with their dicks.
Luckily, all of the dieters escaped uninjured and managed to move the scales to the corridor, which was not damaged in the accident, and were able to complete their weekly weigh in.
The cause of the floor’s collapse remains under investigation.
Is it? Is it under investigation? As long as this was the same place they always held their meetings, I have one theory, and it smells like sizzling bacon. If this was a new location, and they were lead there by a trail of signs promising punch and pie and then an arrow, than there’s a problem, as this was probably orchestrated by someone trying to murder the floor below.
Late-night funnyman Conan O’Brien’s last night as host of “The Tonight Show” will likely be next Friday, allowing Jay Leno to reclaim his old time slot.
“Conan does not currently plan on doing any more new shows after next week,” a source told People magazine’s Web site this afternoon.
Leno struck a deal with NBC to reclaim the 11:35 p.m. to 12:35 a.m. “Tonight Show” slot.
Is “piece of shit” hyphenated? When you use it to describe someone? Because I was trying to organize my thoughts on Leno and that one came up a few times. I wanna make sure everything is just right.
Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi has financed and run terrorist attacks that have killed countless thousands over the years, including the 1972 attack on the Munich Olympics (11 Israeli athletes kidnapped and murdered), Pan Am flight 103 over Lockerbee Scotland (270 dead) and UTA flight 772 in Africa (170 dead). If you spoke out against him, he might invoke his, “right to liquidate any opponent to the revolution, in or out of the country”, and assemble a hit squad to hunt down and execute you no matter where you live, like he did when he ordered the murder of 5 Libyans in Italy.
But, whatever, all that shit is depressing. Me and Beyonce just wanna dance!
Beyoncé appears unable to say no to any gig – even when the host is the leering son of a Middle-Eastern despot – if a reputed $2m is on the table.
And so the stunning chart-topper found herself performing hits in a leotard on a tiny stage in tacky surroundings on New Year’s Eve in the Caribbean island of St Barts.
In pictures she can be seen strutting and kneeling before Muatsim Gaddafi.
Muatsim, the third son of the Libyan leader Muammar-al Gaddafi, couldn’t take his eyes off the Crazy In Love star as she gyrated and sang in front of him.
According to Forbes, she and Jay Z made $122 million last year. Without that show it would have been 120 million, so apparently she just did it to tell the world to go fuck itself. Maybe she can use that 2 million to round up and eat the last few pandas, or fill an oil tanker with ink and dump it into the ocean.
Back in April, this was on Tyler after talking to two separate parties about a Lindsay Lohan sex tape.
Very obviously, Lindsay Lohan isn’t gonna get gangbanged in a rented out bowling alley (that’s not a euphemism for her vagina by the way), but she can choose some guy she likes, fly to a resort and get on her knees while he films it.
Lindsay Lohan’s latest movie project is said to be “dynamite” – but she’s praying no one ever gets to see it…
The Mean Girls star, 23, is bracing herself for the internet release of a sexplicit video file which shows her engaging in, ahem, “adult activity”.
A 47-second tape of Lilo frolicking in the buff with a mystery male is currently being touted around LA.
I have no idea if this is part of the sex tape thing from April or not, but Lindsay doesn’t have any money. She hasn’t been paid to star in a movie since 2006. All she does is get drunk and high and have sex with things. And since April she’s taken trips to St. Barths, Paris, Singapore, London (twice), Hawaii, and been back and forth to Vegas and New York to many times to keep track. And she was driving a Maserati a porn producer loaned her. Somethin is up. So if she did a sex tape she needs to just release the damn thing. I’m tired of waiting. That’s why last night I went and slashed her tires. I’m done playing games.
Javier Bardem took time off from starring as Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the Raul Julia Story to go to Brazil and have Penelope Cruz stick a finger up his ass. And good for him. That’s what life is all about. The last thing you want is to be on your death bed wondering if Penelope Cruz would have stuck her finger up your ass. The not knowing, that’s what would haunt you.