MADONNAS DAUGHTER IS HOT

By brendon November 20, 2007 @ 9:33 AM

It's probably not very nice to make fun of 11-year-olds, but I don't like Madonna, so fuck her and her de-evolved kid. This is her at the London premiere of "Fred Claus" last night, and this is probably exactly what Madonna looked like at 11 too, before the bleach and hot wax. Like a damn Neanderthal, with those big hunky brows and a handlebar mustache. Except Madonna would have attacked the photographers flashing lights, because cavemen are stupid. If I sound bitter, it's because I am. That stache is way better than I had at 11. She looks like that "our arrows will blot out the sun" guy from 300. Sexy, yes?

Tags: lourdes, madonna |

129 Comments

GODSPEED, MARY KATE

By brendon November 20, 2007 @ 9:16 AM

People magazine says that Mary Kate Olsen rushed to an emergency room in New York City yesterday and was quickly hospitalized after being diagnosed with a kidney infection. People says:

"Mary Kate got a kidney infection," says rep Nicole Caruso. "She's resting comfortably and will be released in the next day or so."
The actress, who turned 21 in June, recently said she was in good health.
"Mentally, physically, I feel pretty on top of my game right now," she told EW.com in September, as she prepared for her debut in Showtime's Weeds. "Talk to me next week, I don't know. Today, I feel good."

This creepy bitch sure is in the hospital a lot for a 21 year old. Unless you're a cage fighter or Navy SEAL, you should pretty much be the picture of health at 21. In fact, I think you can fly.

Tags: mary kate olsen |

68 Comments

SOPHIE ANDERTON IS FUN

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 3:57 PM

Sophie Anderton is a model and reality TV star in England and is often talked about on famous websites such as wwtdd. Like today, for example. She was even on the cover of Maxim. But now she's even famouser because the News of the World has a video of her doing lines of coke and admitting that she's a prostitute. Seriously, if you have 20 grand, you can bang her. Oh I know. Cool, huh?

In a sensational secret rendezvous with a News of the World undercover man, the leggy supermodel STRIPPED to her G-string and Christian Louboutin stilettos and spread herself across the bed.
"I'm great at sex," Sophie bragged as she beckoned our reporter to romp with her. "I'll be a lot of fun. I'll look great on your fucking arm. I'm a supermodel."
The beauty also offered our man cocaine.
"Everyone takes drugs. You don't take coke?" she asked. "I've got some on me. Do you want a line?"
When our reporter—posing as a potential client—declined she pulled a wrap out of her designer handbag, made lines on the coffee table and snorted them through a rolled-up £20 note.
She explained she had turned to vice to help pay for a new three-bedroomed home in London's Notting Hill.
"I'm buying a place at the moment so things are tight," she said.
"I just think short term, and at the end of the day nobody gets hurt." Then she laid down the ground rules for sex. "Definitely with condoms," she said. Spanking is cool. But I'm not into any kinky shit, to be honest."
Sophie also said that she was "cool" with giving her punter oral sex. "I know that I'm great in bed," she added. "But if I don't feel comfortable with something I'm not going to go along with it and be fake. I don't do the whole fake thing."

Go HERE for a direct link to the video or to the News website for some stills of her sorta naked. Both are pretty fantastic. I hope she gets some good press from this. I support hot girls being anything they wanna be, especially if they wanna be a skinny whore who has sex with me. And the fact that you can just pay her and then hit that shit should be good news for you or your friends. Not me though. I'm a hunk who doesn't have to pay.

15 photos in gallery >

Tags: sophie anderton |

117 Comments

BRITNEY IS STILL A MENACE

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 3:13 PM

TMZ says, "hours after being forbidden to drive with her kids, the popwreck was back behind the wheel Friday, showing off her complete disregard for safety … (video shows Britney) about to make a left turn with her signal flashing, when she suddenly changes her mind and makes a sharp right instead — cutting off several other drivers!" I’m not really sure WTF TMZ is talking about, because her turn isn't really that dramatic, but I do like the way she drives around at night with sunglasses on. I used to do that, but now I just lay my seat flat and steer with my feet. It makes it more exciting!

Tags: britney spears |

73 Comments

JONATHON RHYS MEYERS IS DRUNK

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 2:45 PM

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested in Dublin yesterday for public drunkenness and breach of the peace after he was refused entry on a flight bound for London. The BBC says:

The 30-year-old was released on bail and is due to appear before Dublin District Court on 5 December.
In April, Irish-born Meyers was admitted to a Californian rehab clinic but checked out the following month.
Speaking to news agency The Associated Press last year, the actor said he found it hard to socialise in Ireland because of its hard-drinking pub culture.
"I gave up drinking a few years ago, and this is the first time I've spent time in my country trying not to drink," he said.
"I would never drink again. It is hard to avoid. I want my career, and you can't really do that and be successful on the screen.

This just goes to show that you cant judge a book by it's cover. I thought he was coked out of his mind all the time, but it turns out he was drunk AND high. I feel kinda silly. Still, if you're Jonathon Rhys Meyers' Secret Santa this year, I think 50 pounds of cocaine would be a nice gift, becuase he seems to be fresh out.

Tags: jonathon rhys meyers |

39 Comments

HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE COMPASSIONATE

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 12:34 PM

Julia Roberts was caught shopping this weekend in Malibu, but more to the point she was caught parking in a handicapped parking spot. To be fair, she's a big Hollywood star, and those sick ugly bastards aren't. She has a very busy schedule, she can't be circling parking lots all day looking for a spot. Julia Roberts needs to go shop for conditioner and the decency to not lecture the rest of us about the environment and less fortunate while parking her giant SUV in a handicapped spot. Naw I'm just kidding, she’s not shopping for that second one.

5 photos in gallery >

Tags: julia roberts |

78 Comments

BEYONCE IS COUNTRY NOW OR SOMETHING

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 12:22 PM

Beyonce joined up with the country band "Sugarland" (editors note – sugarwho?) last night at the AMA's, and it was every bit as awkward and horrible as you might imagine. Honestly, there's not a single part of that first sentence that made it sound like this would work.

After their performance, Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles told the Associated Press, "We were face to face, and there were a couple times when (Beyonce) was looking at me and I was blushing because I thought I was going to turn to stone in her beauty. She is so grounded.”

I think the Sugarland chick just called Beyonce fat.

Tags: beyonce |

45 Comments

THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE BIG STARS

By brendon November 19, 2007 @ 11:06 AM

If there's one thing I know about trends in music, it's that they last forever, so we should all get used to hearing about the Jonas Brothers. They're a part of our lives now. I experienced the magic for the first time at last nights American Music Awards and I predict they'll be around for a long long time. Except for the one in the middle, who apparently can't walk six inches without falling onto broken glass. Smooth, bro. Smooth. To be fair, he only had like 10 minutes of staring at that frame backstage to get used to it and figure out a plan of attack for getting through it. Here's my impression of that dude standing in front of a tree. "Hmm, I want to get to the other side of this tree, but how?" (Stares at tree, stares at tree, stares at tree, steps forward, bonk, "OWWW".)

Tags: jonas brothers |

73 Comments

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