like nothing ever happened, part 2

By brendon August 27, 2010 @ 8:30 AM

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Lindsay Lohan had some meeting in Santa Monica yesterday, and granted she looked kind of awesome, but showing off her big tits and making my penis flush with blood was never her problem. She was always tremendously good at that. Where the hell did she even find a shirt so thin? Is there a website where you can download and print shirts or something?

(image source = pacific coast and fame)

Thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 6:27 PM

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JON MAYER – went on tumblr and said the Huffington Post is “full of shit”, in a 463 word response to a 150 word story that implied he might be back together with Jennifer Aniston. Maybe he overreacted, but let’s see someone blab that you’re dating that fug bitch and see how you like it. (tumblr, huff post)

JEREMY RENNER – has won the lead opposite Tom Cruise in ‘Mission: Impossible 4′, directed by Brad Bird, which will begin production in the fall and film in the U.S., Vancouver, Prague and Dubai. Cruise is expected to star in ‘M:I 5′ as well, but after that the franchise may be handed over to Renner. Actually you can bank on it, because if there’s one thing Hollywood is good at, it’s making long range plans and sticking to it. (deadline)

MATT DAMON – was back today filming scenes for the new season of ’30 Rock’ (which finally got good last year) and Sherri Shepherd posted a picture of them with Tracy Morgan. Damon plays a pilot who dates Tina Fey, while Shepherd plays the last thing a pound of bacon ever sees. (twitpic)

SOPHIE MONK – is in Hawaii in a bikini, which is more than enough to make the page on a day this incredibly slow. Seriously did you see that Matt Damon story? WTF was that all about? (pacific coast)

this is Hollywoods Most Amazing Body

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 4:30 PM

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Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the cover of People this summer for their issue about the best bodies in Hollywood. She went from fat to fabulous and now her body is amazing (their words, not mine).

And yet every picture had her hiding behind something. Whenever she’s in a magazine, it’s like she was on a walk in the woods and a stranger started chasing her. She’s always peering out from behind something.

Well this is why. In reality she’s a complete mess, as you can see in these pictures taken today in Toluca Lake. Which would be fine except she wants credit for telling women to love their body while constantly lying about her own. Her ass is so big you could hit it with a paddle and it would take over a minute before her brain got the message and she said, “Ow.”

Mariah Carey admits she’s pregnant. Sort of.

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 2:10 PM

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Way back on June 2nd, the rumors began that Mariah Carey was pregnant, but she never said anything about it, and then it all sort of died down. Until this weekend that is, during a concert in Brazil (pictured above), when she looked slightly fatter than normal and the rumors kicked up all over again.

Her husband Nick Cannon refuses to address it on his radio show, because that would be something interesting to talk about, and believe me when I tell you that he has no fucking idea how to identify something like that.

Luckily Mariah went on her website yesterday and confirmed everything, though in the most cryptic way imaginable.

“I appreciate everyone’s well wishes. But I am very superstitious. When the time is right, everyone will know.”

“I am very superstitious”? WTF does that even mean? God it’s like dealing with primitive man. For the babies sake I hope Mariah doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night and see a flock of crows outside her bedroom window. She might think the baby is gonna be evil and start punching her stomach to kill it.

like nothing ever happened

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

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Lindsay Lohan had two DUI’s, was given probation which she didn’t complete and 90 days in jail which she didn’t serve, but she’s famous so last night she was at Chateau Marmont until 1am, then she hopped behind the wheel and headed off into the night. So if you live in LA, from now on you have to live like Will Smith in ‘I Am Legend’. Set an alarm and never be out after the sun goes down, or else danger and death lurk around every corner.

(image source = pacific coast news)

Britney Spears looks kinda hot in a bikini, part 2

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 11:11 AM

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Britney Spears spent another day in Hawaii and another day in a bikini, and it’s all relative but once again she looked pretty good. She didn’t look great or anything, but considering how insane she was just a few years ago, she looked amazing. If I were her and had her money, I’d hire a bunch of fug, 6-foot, 200-pound girls in bikinis to walk around the beach with me, like two dozen of them, and loosely surround me in every shot. You’d see them and see me and you’d swear I was some 80-pound supermodel.

(image source = splash news online)

Elin Nordegren has done her first and last interview

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 3:25 PM

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Elin Nordegren hasn’t said a word to the press since it was revealed that her husband Tiger Woods would stick his dick in a beehive if he saw one in a club, but Friday People magazine will publish Elins first – and last, according to her – interview, given over 4 days in her Florida home.

“I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children,” she says in the magazine’s latest issue, out just days after her split from Tiger Woods was made official.
The 30-year-old mother of two, who is studying towards a college degree in psychology, says that despite her husband’s betrayal, “I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.”
“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal,” she says.

For Peoples sake I hope they’re saving all the interesting things she said for the magazine. I wasn’t even paying attention and I was bored. Is it possible to feel sorry for a woman who made at least 100 million dollars in her divorce? Let me put it this way: No.

(image source of tigers homewrecking whore rachel uchitel yesterday in malibu = pacific coast)

Olivia Wilde is in a bikini

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 2:52 PM

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You know how you’ve just been sitting there all day, not looking at Olivia Wilde in a bikini? Well come over here, because she has a better idea.

(image source = pacific coast news)