charlie sheen is going to jail

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 4:13 PM

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Charlie Sheen made a huge mistake when he ran around the house with a knife and threatened to kill his wife on Christmas Eve, and that mistake of course was that he did it somewhere other than LA. He did it in Aspen, where they have laws, and those laws are applied even to Hollywood stars if you can believe that. People says…

Charlie Sheen will plead guilty to a misdemeanor offense and get 30 days jail time, says a source close to the negotiations in the star’s ongoing domestic violence case.
“Charlie intends to go to court on June 7 [to] plead to a misdemeanor and immediately begin serving his 30 days in jail,” says the source. “With good behavior, he could end up doing 15 or so days.”
While Sheen, 44, had been charged with felony menacing, misdemeanor third-degree assault and misdemeanor criminal mischief following a Christmas Day fight with his wife, Brooke Mueller, 32, in Aspen, Colo., the source adds that Sheen would not be placed on probation once he completes his jail sentence.

Now we just have to wait and see how Sheens employer, CBS, deals with him oh wait no we don’t. They factored his jail time into his new contract, and they’ll just shoot around it. Keep this in mind the next time Hollywood tries to lecture you about politics or morality. The guy threatened to saw his wife’s head off and it’s treated like he twisted his ankle. In a sense Charlie is the real victim in all this. Nobody likes a tattle-tale Brooke.

megan fox in a bikini, part 2

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 11:28 AM

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Megan Fox spent a second day on the beach in Hawaii, and this time she looked even better than the first time. Although this time was frustrating because it looks like her suit is just barely staying on. Seems like something should slide up or down or slip out at any moment. Wouldn’t take much. Don’t bother shaking your monitor though. All that did was make my arms sore.

(source = splash news online)

lindsay lohans new movie might be too sexy

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 10:20 AM

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Lindsay Lohan’s big comeback was supposed to begin with her role as 70‘s porn pioneer Linda Lovelace in the film “Inferno.” It was perfect. Except they don’t own the rights to the story, the director has no idea whats he’s doing, they don’t have a cast and they don’t have a script.

Ahh, excuse me, they DO have a script! And it’s everything you might imagine from this group of consummate professionals.

Lohan will have to play a role in which her character is “thoroughly degraded.” According to Von, “the movie is obviously designed to just outright disturb (with) the combination of childhood imagery and absolute outright depraved perversions.”
“It’s hard to imagine the movie making it to theaters in its current form no matter who plays Lovelace,” reports the Post.

Lindsay was only famous because she had big tits, so as we celebrate her very justified demise, we need to turn our attention to new people like Liz Parada of ABC’s ‘True Beauty’, whatever the hell that might be. She posed for some pictures in Ft. Lauderdale yesterday, and it was awesome. Because she’s really pretty and thin with huge tits. These pictures shouldn’t even be allowed without a prescription, and only then after a doctor has cleared you for all the frantic masturbating that will be going on after you see them.

(source = splash news online)

megan fox. in a bikini.

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 5:47 AM

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Megan Fox and her boyfriend were in Hawaii this weekend, and I’m pretty sure these are the first Megan Fox bikini pictures ever. Well not “ever” but the first candids since she became a big star.

And despite regular rumors that she and whats his name are splitting up, they look pretty happy here. She could date someone richer but I guess she likes this dork. Or maybe she just likes the security of a long term relationship. Girls like that. They like to feel safe. Guys should take advantage of that. Next time you see a hot girl, wait until you’re alone, like in an elevator or something, and then say, “God has sent me to protect you.” Girls also like secrets, so after that put your finger over her lips and go, “Shhhhhh.”

I haven’t tried it yet but I feel like that would work.

jessica alba. in a bikini.

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 3:40 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Jessica Alba Lays out in Bikini

Jessica Alba spent Memorial Day just south of LA in Newport Beach, and it seems impossible to believe but these are the only two pictures of her in a bikini.

Fuck. Off.

Nice pictures, dick. This is bullshit. This is Jessica Alba. In a bikini. This is serious business. I don’t know who took these but I hope his parents are dead so they don’t have to witness what a failure their son turned out to be. They’re the lucky ones. Someone tell this asshole he’s wasting his life.

(source = flynet online)

dennis hopper has died

By brendon May 29, 2010 @ 3:05 PM

Hollywood only has a handful of actors who are truly original. Who don’t just read the words on the page like a god damn monkey. Most movies have actors who sound like a ghost hunter trying to contact the other side. Two. Hours. Of. Robotic. Line reads. There are only a few who can make anything interesting. Gary Oldman. Benecio Del Toro. Ian McKellen. Vincent D’Onofrio and Christopher Walken. It’s probably around 20. 19, now, unfortunately.

Dennis Hopper, whose pot-addled Billy in Easy Rider and psychopathic Frank Booth in Blue Velvet helped put the icon in iconoclastic, has died after a decade-long battle with prostate cancer. He was 74.
The legendary actor died about 9 a.m. Saturday surrounded by family in his Los Angeles home.
Taken ill with flu-like symptoms last September, Hopper later said he was suffering with prostate cancer. Family members told PEOPLE that the disease had spread to other organs in his system.

Hopper was better in Nike commercials than Aniston or Tobey Macguire have been in anything in their life. Think about that for a second. He even made commercials good. He was so effortlessly cool, it makes me think I should do more drugs. Can anyone send me some LSD? I think it’s what Dennis would have wanted.

vanessa hudgens must be handicapped

By brendon May 28, 2010 @ 6:18 PM

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Vanessa Hudgens of course is that sexy bitch from those Disney movies, and yesterday she was caught parking in an alleged handicapped spot (they should mark these better).

I get mad when unattractive people do that, but in this case I agree with the hot teenager who is constantly taking and texting naked pictures of herself. I really admire the way she stands up to those god damed elderly. If you think about it, they need the exercise more than healthy people, so their spots should be as far away as possible. It’s part of Vanessas tough love program. She’s an amazing lady!

(source = fame pictures)

id like to hear what ashton kutcher has to say

By brendon May 28, 2010 @ 6:16 PM

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I’m not sure if my screencap of Ashtons tweet about Gary Coleman is legible, but his post was really touching…

“RIP Gary Coleman. I will always be a fan of keeping my name in the press by injecting myself into unrelated stories like the death of someone I didn’t know in hopes that Us or People will mention me in a ‘Hollywood reacts’ kind of thing. I could get some sweet publicity if they use my insincere statement. Cross your fingers everyone!”

NOTE - I’d like to point out that Andy San Dimas, pornstar, has had the most thoughtful celebrity tweet for Gary Coleman yet. Hollywood really is filled with complete fucking morons.