Mariah Carey admits she’s pregnant. Sort of.

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 2:10 PM

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Way back on June 2nd, the rumors began that Mariah Carey was pregnant, but she never said anything about it, and then it all sort of died down. Until this weekend that is, during a concert in Brazil (pictured above), when she looked slightly fatter than normal and the rumors kicked up all over again.

Her husband Nick Cannon refuses to address it on his radio show, because that would be something interesting to talk about, and believe me when I tell you that he has no fucking idea how to identify something like that.

Luckily Mariah went on her website yesterday and confirmed everything, though in the most cryptic way imaginable.

“I appreciate everyone’s well wishes. But I am very superstitious. When the time is right, everyone will know.”

“I am very superstitious”? WTF does that even mean? God it’s like dealing with primitive man. For the babies sake I hope Mariah doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night and see a flock of crows outside her bedroom window. She might think the baby is gonna be evil and start punching her stomach to kill it.

like nothing ever happened

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

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Lindsay Lohan had two DUI’s, was given probation which she didn’t complete and 90 days in jail which she didn’t serve, but she’s famous so last night she was at Chateau Marmont until 1am, then she hopped behind the wheel and headed off into the night. So if you live in LA, from now on you have to live like Will Smith in ‘I Am Legend’. Set an alarm and never be out after the sun goes down, or else danger and death lurk around every corner.

(image source = pacific coast news)

Britney Spears looks kinda hot in a bikini, part 2

By brendon August 26, 2010 @ 11:11 AM

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Britney Spears spent another day in Hawaii and another day in a bikini, and it’s all relative but once again she looked pretty good. She didn’t look great or anything, but considering how insane she was just a few years ago, she looked amazing. If I were her and had her money, I’d hire a bunch of fug, 6-foot, 200-pound girls in bikinis to walk around the beach with me, like two dozen of them, and loosely surround me in every shot. You’d see them and see me and you’d swear I was some 80-pound supermodel.

(image source = splash news online)

Elin Nordegren has done her first and last interview

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 3:25 PM

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Elin Nordegren hasn’t said a word to the press since it was revealed that her husband Tiger Woods would stick his dick in a beehive if he saw one in a club, but Friday People magazine will publish Elins first – and last, according to her – interview, given over 4 days in her Florida home.

“I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children,” she says in the magazine’s latest issue, out just days after her split from Tiger Woods was made official.
The 30-year-old mother of two, who is studying towards a college degree in psychology, says that despite her husband’s betrayal, “I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.”
“My immediate plan is for the kids and me to continue to adjust to our new situation. I am going to keep taking classes, but my main focus is to try to give myself time to heal,” she says.

For Peoples sake I hope they’re saving all the interesting things she said for the magazine. I wasn’t even paying attention and I was bored. Is it possible to feel sorry for a woman who made at least 100 million dollars in her divorce? Let me put it this way: No.

(image source of tigers homewrecking whore rachel uchitel yesterday in malibu = pacific coast)

Olivia Wilde is in a bikini

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 2:52 PM

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You know how you’ve just been sitting there all day, not looking at Olivia Wilde in a bikini? Well come over here, because she has a better idea.

(image source = pacific coast news)

Lindsay Lohan is in big trouble this time

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 2:16 PM

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Judge Elden Fox was the one who allowed Lindsay Lohan to leave rehab yesterday, 68 days earlier than planned, and today he spelled out the newest terms of her probation. There’s no doubt she’s ready to change now, considering the valuable lesson she learned the last 10 times she essentially told the court to fuck off.

Read more >

Britney Spears looks kinda hot in a bikini

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 12:14 PM

Britney Spears was in a yellow string bikini in Hawaii today

Britney Spears filmed an episode of ‘Glee’ last week, and the week before that she was back in the studio recording tracks for a new record, so obviously this week it was time to go to Hawaii for a vacation with her boyfriend Jason Trawick. The stress after working for 2 weeks must have been unbearable. She’s gonna have a heart attack by 30 if she keeps up this pace.

(image source = splash news online)

Heidi Montag wants her implants out

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 11:12 AM

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Having DDD implants is literally the one and only thing that makes Heidi Montag interesting in any way. Before she got those I banned her from the site (two weeks before E! did the same). But huge breasts makes girls more tolerable, so now she’s back. For now.

?Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”
More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,”
Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
And while Heidi is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever. “I feel trapped in my own body.”

So, to recap, Heidi, who doesn’t speak Spanish, is looking for a plastic surgeon in South America, whose leading exports are drugs, drugs, shortstops, drugs, kids who can chase a chicken down the street, and drugs.

Even if I wasn’t incredibly racist, this would be a terrible idea. She’s a Nordic-looking princess with huge tits, and she wants to take her clothes off and get drugged. The white slavery rings are gonna think it’s Christmas morning.

(image source of heidi on the set of the adam sandler movie ‘just go with it’ back in march = splash and pcn)