Lindsay Lohan is misinformed

By brendon July 12, 2006 @ 5:06 PM





Lindsay Lohan is working on a new book called ‘Narcissist’ that will mostly be made up of intimate and “sexy” photographs of Lindsay, in various states of undress. The Sun UK says that Lindsay is “keen to shed her image as a child actress and plans to show off a new raunchy side to her personality”. Lindsay says:

“It’s my body. And I like my body. And I like my breasts. And no, they’re not fake. I think a woman’s body is so much more sensual than a man’s. I’m not saying strip off all your clothes, but there are certain photos I like people taking of me, where I’m comfortable. As long as it’s tasteful. Why not?”

I don’t know if Lindsay just doesn’t have a computer or what, but what image is it that she’s trying to distance herself from. Is it the one where we all assume some random dude did a line of coke off her ass last night while she lay face down in handcuffs and a cowboy hat. Because I’m not as poitive as she is that a sexy book is gonna help. Just because it’s all formal now doesn’t make it better. A bear could offer to stick out his pinky while he ate my leg, I would still prefer he just stop.








Source = the Sun UK

Natalie Portman is deceptive

By brendon July 12, 2006 @ 4:19 PM





Jess over on DarkHat.com is one of many now saying that Natalie Portman, despite rambling on about how open she is to appearing naked in movies, will not appear naked in movies, at least not in ‘Goyas Ghost’, even though it was widely reported that she would. NataliePortman.com says:

“Last night on Access Hollywood, Natalie’s agent put an end to the Nat nude in Goyas Ghosts rumor. The character will be naked but a body double was used.”

Okay, look hun, I didn’t even ask to see you naked, but since you keep bringing it up, by golly, you better get naked. This is the second time you’ve pulled this crap, and to be honest, I’m not even sure you

Umm, what is Lindsay Lohan doing…

By brendon July 12, 2006 @ 2:18 PM





Okay, so these are obviously for a movie, shot yesterday on the set of ‘Georgia Rule’, a classic heart warming tale of a journey to the back of Lindsays throat.








Sorry about the picture quality here, I’ll update with high-res as soon as I find it.



Tom Cruise is selfish

By brendon July 12, 2006 @ 1:30 PM





Tom Cruise is reportedly set to marry Katie Holmes within a month, likely in late July or early August, in a Scientology ceremony to be performed by church leader David Miscavige. Needless to say, this is not sitting well with Katie’s parents, who are devout Catholics. MSNBC says:

“(Life and Style magazine ) quotes a family friend as saying that Martin and Kathleen Holmes are not happy with their daughter’s choice of where to marry. Martin Holmes allegedly told the friend, ‘Katie can have a proper Catholic wedding her whole family will gladly be a part of.’ “

The magazines story goes on to say that Katie always wanted a Catholic wedding, but knew Tom would never agree to such a thing and she feels if she was not devoted to scientology, her relationship with Cruise would end. In Cruises defense, he’s been divorced twice and probably couldn’t be married in a Catholic church even if he wanted to. In not Crusies defense, he probably doesn’t want to, and if L. Ron Hubbard told him komodo dragons were good nannies, Suri would be in a saddle riding a komodo dragon into the bushes somewhere.



Source = MSNBC

Keira Knightley is a big Hollywood star

By brendon July 11, 2006 @ 8:35 PM





Looking at these pictures of Keira Knightley walking around London barefoot and driving a POS is like watching a homeless person or meth addict walk around, only with way more sexual tension.





Source = Splash News


Carmen Electra is incontinent

By brendon July 11, 2006 @ 7:57 PM





I’m picturing me walking into Carmen Electra’s house, walking toward her bedroom, I see her stilettos on the floor, then her top, then her bra, then her leather pants, then her soiled diaper. Now I’m picturing me turning around and whimpering, and doing that run-walk thing towards the front door.







Lindsay Lohan just got paid

By brendon July 11, 2006 @ 6:31 PM





Lindsay Lohan will get paid 2 million dollars to become the new celebrity spokesman for Proactiv Solutions, the acne management line formerly endorsed by Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson. In the infomercial which has already filmed, Lindsay says:

“My skin is clear all the time thanks to Proactiv. The best thing is that it’s super gentle, so it works every day like skin care. That’s how I use it, and it works.”

Lindsay must be referring to some past life where she had real bad acne, because in this one she’s been famous since she was 10, and she’s had eleventy billion pictures taken since then, and at no point has anyone ever noticed Lindsay Lohan with acne. So at best this magic product makes perfectly normal skin even perfectly normaler, at worst it leaves you looking like a dalmation.



Source = the Sun UK



Amy Sedaris is number 1

By brendon July 11, 2006 @ 3:31 PM




Amy Sedaris in her ‘Strangers with Candy’ role kind of creeps me out, and by “kind of creeps me out”, I mean “really creeps me out”, but there’s no denying she’s one of the greatest tumblers of our generation. A lot of people claim to be a better tumbler than she is, but as you can tell from last nights Colbert Report, those people are god damn liars.