Taylor Swift is whining again. About John Mayer this time.

By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 3:45 PM

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Taylor Swift, who is 20, briefly dated John Mayer, who is 33, last year while collaborating on her record, and since every bad date this vindictive lunatic ever goes on gets a song about it, it’s a safe bet that the song on her new album called ‘Dear John’ is about Mayer.

The album won’t be released until Oct. 25, but Yahoo Music has the lyrics.

“Dear John/I see it all now that you’re gone/Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home/I should’ve known.”
“It was wrong/Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games/When I loved you so.”
“My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine.”
“You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/And I’ll look back in regret I ignored what they said/’Run as fast as you can’.”

Gee Taylor, maybe your dates would go better if the guy didn’t live every minute under the pressure that if he does something wrong, you’ll make him look like an asshole in front of millions of people.

Luckily, in this case, Mayer can write songs too. I think a good song would be one about a guy who worked really long hours locked in a room with this young needy slut who made it clear she was ready to give it up, so the guy was like, yeah okay why not. But she was horrible in bed and super clingy so he bailed. The song is called, “Two Can Play This Little Game, Dumb Ass”.

Kelly Brook is a really good model

By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 2:43 PM

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Kelly Brook is great, and Playboy is great, and yet somehow Kelly Brook in Playboy was not great. Except for this picture. And this one. I can’t post more because, instead of thanking me for helping to get the word out about their magazine, Playboy actually yells at me. Oh I know right!

Luckily, she’s done an all new naked photo shoot, and now it’s game on. If i were ever around Kelly and someone gave her a shirt and told her to put it on, I would punch that person right in the face.

(NSFW WARNING – there be monsters past this point. monster titties that is!)

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psst. hey. hey Uma Thurman. I think you missed some.

By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 9:58 AM

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When Uma Thurman arrived for the premiere of ‘David Mamet’s A Life In the Theatre’ last night, her look was tight and clean and polished, the epitome of New York high society. Then a few hours later she had some white powder on her nose and her hair looked like someone just got done fucking her mouth. This sounds like a really good play.

(picture source = wenn and getty images)

Anne Hathaway has no problem with nude scenes

By brendon October 18, 2010 @ 5:51 PM

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Anne Hathaway has had two pretty famous nude scenes (‘Brokeback Mountain’ and ‘Havoc’), and since girls don’t generally stop being awesome overnight, she says she’ll keep doing them, and even has some in her new movie, ‘Love and Other Drugs’. People says…

“These are people who have no trouble taking their clothes off – in a way their bodies are their currency,” the actress, 27, says of her nude scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal. “But they’re terrified of exposing their vulnerability – of becoming emotionally naked.”

To be honest I have no idea WTF that has to do with anything, because, just like in real life, the hot girl started talking and I sort of drifted off while biding my time until I could see her tits. Unlike in real life however, here on the internet, it’s gonna work! Today I’m the big winner!

(NSFW WARNING – from this point on, it’s nothing but rampant nudity, starring Anne Hathaway)

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Dr. Peter Venkman kept the Scream Awards ghost free

By brendon October 18, 2010 @ 2:13 PM

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Bill Murray won Best Cameo for ‘Zombieland’ during the Spike Scream Awards Saturday night at The Greek Theater in LA, and he accepted the award dressed in his full ‘Ghostbusters’ gear as Peter Venkman, PhD. It was a real slap in the face to Spike and their prestigious award. No one wants to see this buffoonery. He ruined the whole show!

(picture source = getty images)

Kim Kardashians little sister is a cheerleader

By brendon October 18, 2010 @ 1:09 PM

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Kendall Jenner, the half-sister of Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian, is a cheerleader for her high school in Pasadena, and the paparazzi were on hand for her big game Friday night.

She’s only 14, but as you can see she’s already really tall, which is one of the reasons she was signed by the world famous Wilhelmina Modeling Agency. In fact she’s 5’9″. Some girls just develop real early. “That’s why I always use protection, just in case,” said R. Kelly when asked for a comment.

(image source = pacific coast)

Mel Gibson has a cameo in Hangover 2

By brendon October 18, 2010 @ 12:00 PM

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Back in July, Oksana Grigorieva leaked audio of her boyfriend Mel Gibson ranting like a lunatic on a wide range of topics, including what she needed against her head (a bat) and what he needed against his penis (her tongue).

Many people assumed Gibson would never work in Hollywood again. Many people apparently forgot that Hollywood is run by drug addicted perverts who only care about money. Fox News says…

Mel Gibson is taking a stab at saving his movie career with a comedy role as a tattoo artist in “The Hangover 2.”
“It’s a done deal. Mel will make a cameo as a tattoo artist. Filming is taking place on the Warner Bros. lot, where a Bangkok set has been built, and Mel is expected to film his role in two weeks. Then the production moves to Thailand at the end of October.”

Not bringing him to Bangkok was a wise move. He’s a lunatic with a billion dollars, he would very definitely disappear into the jungle and go all Colonel Kurtz on everyone, and they’d find him 3 years from now eating scorpions and wearing a necklace of female Russian ears.

Darren Aronofsky is directing Wolverine 2

By brendon October 18, 2010 @ 10:42 AM

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About the nicest thing anyone can say about ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ is that it was in color and the lines to see it were short, yet somehow Hugh Jackman has lined up two of the absolute best screenwriters and directors in Hollywood to make the sequel. Deadline Hollywood says…

Darren Aronofsky’s deal to direct 20th Century Fox’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2 is close enough that discussion has turned to shooting the sound stage portions of the film in New York.
A March start date is being eyed so that Aronofsky has time to open Black Swan and be available for the inevitable awards season obligations. When the New York scenes are completed, they’ll head to Japan to shoot the bulk of the Christopher McQuarrie-scripted movie.

It’s almost shocking that the great McQuarrie (who won a screenwriting Oscar for ‘The Usual Suspects’), and Aronofsky, who is expected to be an Oscar nominee for ‘Black Swan’ and who is at least the equal of Wes Anderson, David Fincher, Spike Jonze, Tarsem Singh (‘the Fall’) and Yimou Zhang (‘Curse of the Golden Flower’) when it comes to making visually interesting movies, would make ‘Wolverine 2′. It’s so beneath them I would have been embarrassed to even ask. It would be like if Kubrick made ‘Big Mamas House 3′. Twice the running time means twice the laughs!