this is a tragic loss

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 6:34 PM

feldmanhaim

Corey Feldman has taken to his blog to issue a statement on the death of his frequent co-star Corey Haim, or at least I think he did because he wrote it in a dark blue font on a black background. It’s like reading a message between two spies.

This is a tragic loss of a wonderful,beautiful,tormented soul, who will always be my brother,family, and best friend. We must all take this as a lesson in how we treat the people we share this world with while they are still here to make a difference. Please respect our families as we struggle and grieve through this difficult time. I hope the art Corey has left behind will be remembered as the passion of that for which he truly lived.

I’m sure lots of people will be remembering Corey in their own way, but what would he want? Would he want us to grill some catfish and watch ‘the Prestige’? Hopefully so because I went to the Asian supermarket last night and bought some catfish. I’m not made out of money, you know, I’m not gonna just let it go bad.

everyone hates jay leno

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 5:42 PM

NBC Studios

NBC fired Conan O’Brien as host of the Tonight Show because he couldn’t beat David Letterman, something Jay Leno had done for years. So NBC made a tough choice, and even though they would lose hundreds of millions of dollars, they decided to bring Leno back so he could be number 1 in late night again! And the plan worked! For 6 days!

For the first time since Jay Leon returned to 11:30, The Tonight Show trailed Late Show in the early metered market numbers (3.5 rating for Letterman versus 3.2 for Leno).  In the 25 markets with local People Meters Leno held a slim edge with adults 18-49, but he did yesterday as well and when the numbers for the broader national market were factored in,  Late Show wound up leading Tonight Show in the 18-49 demo, too.

This is no surprise of course, because it’s NBC. Their own website (click the “shows” tab) is filled with such sadness and failure, it’s almost like they’re being sarcastic. They have 12 “Classic Shows”, and two of those aired on CBS. Every single show on their “Recent Favorites” was canceled almost instantly, and I never even heard of 4 of them.

There are only two qualifications to be on a list called “Current Shows”. Be “current”, and a “show” a viewer could watch. NBC lists the Olympics twice and the Golden Globes, which are neither. I don’t mean to brag but I think I could do a better job at running NBC than the people they have now. I at least understand where I am in time, which is more than they could say.

“Mommy, help me. How can they do this?”

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 3:52 PM

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You might want to put some pillows behind you in case you faint, but Lindsay Lohan is a self-centered brat and Dina Lohan is an enabler who lies every time she talks. Like yesterday, for example, when she explained Lindsays 100 million dollar lawsuit. The New York Post says

(After Lindsay saw the ad), “She said, ‘Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?’ ” Dina Lohan said of a tearful phone call with her 23-year-old daughter.
“They’re little babies doing this, mocking another child who’s just trying to survive Hollywood, basically,” Dina Lohan said.

I don’t know why Dina thinks she needs a lawyer. All she has to do is tell the jury that. Don’t change a word. There are little babies mocking another child. Who in this case is 23. And has been to jail 4 times.

Lohan filed a lawsuit (for) $100 million in damages for her pain and suffering.
“I’m just basically glad I took a stand. I’m not going to let them do this to us anymore,” Dina Lohan said of the “horrible” and “mean” ad.

It doesn’t really seem like Dina has thought this all the way through.
1. A baby on TV is named Lindsay. The baby steals another girls boyfriend and is a milk-aholic.
2. Lindsay Lohan, though not a baby, thinks the ad is about her because she’s a slut and an alcoholic.
3. E Trade has sullied her good name.

Ahhhh, okay, noow I get it. (note – I don’t get it)

morning headlines

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 1:44 PM

wilde

COREY HAIM - collapsed in his moms apartment just before 1am. No illegal drugs were found, but 4 prescription drugs were. His mom told LAPD, “he had been battling prescription drug addiction for years.” How exactly was he “battling”? It’s like saying a nail is a battle with the hammer. (tmz)

THE TRON TRAILER - has people wondering who the two hot girls are. And I don’t know if there’s been some kind of misunderstanding but I didn’t cast the movie. Anyway, the girl on the couch is Olivia Wilde, the girl with the white hair is Beau Garrett. The guy with white hair is Michael Sheen, and the guy rising up out of the floor is Jeff Bridges, who plays his character both young and old (picture). So there you go. That’s what this website is all about. Helping others. (tron legacy)

MICHAEL J FOX - and his wife Tracy Pollan are in St. Barts today. People think she’s great because she stuck with him after he got Parkinsons, but he vibrates now. The sex must be awesome. I can’t compete with that unless I bit down on a wire while I was in her. (fame)

lets start the day over

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 11:07 AM

Stupid Corey Haim got the morning off to a bad start, and I keep forgetting to mention the Christoph Waltz video from Jimmey Kimmel, so now is a perfect time. Edward Hills indomitable spirit is needed now more than ever, so sit back and let his soothing vocals bring a smile to Americas heart.

(I’m probably more delighted by this than other people because I love Kimmel, I loved ‘Basterds’ and specifically Waltz, and because this is my ringtone. If you think that’s annoying to hear once, try hanging out with me when I don’t feel like answering the phone. The consensus is, it’s maddening.)

Read more >

corey haim is dead

By brendon March 10, 2010 @ 10:34 AM

corey_haim_5266195

The New York Times says that ‘Lost Boys’ star Corey Haim died early this morning, and although his cause of death is still unknown it was drugs. Of course it was drugs. That jackass has been shakin like Muhammad Ali for 10 years. He had brief windows of sobriety (like in this clip from Opie and Anthony in 07) but it never lasted.

I don’t have a lot of sympathy for drug addicts who eventually kill themselves in case you couldn’t tell. Fuckin losers. Where are we? What year is this? Is there some confusion? Drug addiction kills you. There’s an army of good people who want to help, all someone has to do is ask. If you don’t care, good riddance. We shouldn’t even bury people like this. Boil him and sell him to the zoo. Alligators need food, right? Why are we feeding them steak while nutrient rich Corey Haims are rotting in the ground? Let’s be logical.

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 09, 2010 @ 6:49 PM

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MICHAEL JACKSON - had at least 2 girlfriends whose identity have remained a secret, according to his bodyguards. Well that’s all the proof I need. I’m sure it wasn’t a boy in a wig and a dress. Why can’t the girls go public? Who knows. Maybe they’re mermaids. (wonderwall)

GABOUREY SIDIBE - has joined the cast of a new Showtime series called, “The Big C”. The goal of the show is to see how many “the fat vagina” jokes the internet can make. (imdb)

JIMMY KIMMEL - might replace Barbara Walters as host of the interview special before the Oscars every year. It’s part of ABCs new plan to make shows people watch and enjoy. (pop eater)

JESSICA SIMPSON - is glad she doesn’t look like Daisy Duke anymore. “So am I”, agreed No One On Earth. (us.com)

KATY PERRY - should have been posted yesterday but can’t be forgotten because her Oscar dress was terrific. Her hair was down and the dress actually flattered her body instead of hiding it under 1800 yards of fabric. It went against the normal award show trend of trying to look as terrible as possible. (getty and splash)

i like the one in the middle

By brendon March 09, 2010 @ 5:22 PM

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Argentinian model Belen Rodriguez is in Miami today after filming a commercial yesterday, and she’s not world famous or anything but she’s at least as famous as the elves in the post beneath this one. Should they even be on a beach like that? Out in the open? I would guess Hawaii has eagles or something like that, and that dude won’t look so happy when his wife gets stolen by one. Or even just a housecat or something. I would just stay home with the doors locked if I were them.

(image source = mavrix online)