By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 4:03 PM
Ireland Baldwin thinks her dad is kind of a prick for calling everybody fags and coons and telling paparazzi to die a horrible death, but she still takes the side of family against the press. In particular, the 18-year old model slash former high school freshman called the people at the New York Daily News a bunch of cowards for bringing up the old ‘little pig’ reference her father made to her six years ago.
“The past is past and the Daily News are a bunch of cowards for revisiting my past. In the end, I feel nothing but sorry for them. If any of the reporters there even had children or families to love, I’m sure they would understand where I’m coming from.”
While statistically true that reporters have about 96% less sex than your average person, some of them have managed to propagate. How else to explain the continuing levels of journalism majors in college despite the fact not a single one of them has been hired since the invention of the Internet.
“Everyone tells me to stop paying attention to what others are saying, but it’s hard. This hurts. I am a human being, believe it or not. I am also not a celebrity. This is not what I would ever want to be known for.”
Obviously, people who consider Ireland a celebrity are completely unaware of her broad passion for both paddle boarding and making friendship bracelets. Also, technically, she’s now old enough to post bond for Uncle Daniel so that’s going to take up her weekends. I know, I’m a coward.
Here’s Ireland not being a celebrity, but I guess just a famous model in a new shoot where you can almost see her boobs.
Photo Credit: Solmaz Saberi
By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 3:11 PM
I can’t remember exactly what happened with that video of Kate Upton topless on a horse that TMZ pulled down. I think it turned out that it wasn’t really Kate Upton and maybe the horse was actually Khloe Kardashian and it was just one giant puddle of disappointment. But, now, the woman who doesn’t want to be seen as a sex object is back up on the horse with her top open, getting paid to share her intellect and personality with the world.
In news equally relevant to your dramatically unrealistic masturbation fantasies, it looks like Kate is done with her Russian ballroom dancer boyfriend:
“Maks has been telling friends that he is no longer bringing Kate to a wedding that they were both scheduled to attend together” — a source to RadarOnline
The couple have faced many challenges in their burgeoning relationship, most notably their individual travel schedules and their similar unslakable thirst for cock. To be fair, I wasn’t sure that Maksim Chmerkovskiy was actually gay until I read that part about punishing his girlfriend by not taking her to a wedding he’s attending. That’s queerer than the dude who suggests hot tubbing at an all-guys party. No offense to my friend Christopher whose parents presciently gave him a gay name decades before he even made the hot tub suggestion.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash
By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 2:13 PM
Somebody from the PR team told Kim and Kanye that before this bastard baby gets old enough to drop out of middle school, they need to get some photos taken pretending to be normal parents. As in, get on your $150 t-shirts and walk that baby around in a hermetically sealed bassinet. The move itself shocked the encircling team of nannies, handlers, and bodyguards who nervously shuffled around like Secret Service agents when the President decided to get out of his limo to go shake hands with the common folk. The entire parenting episode lasted about two minutes, or 10,000 pictures, at which point Kim and Kanye both shuddered and said ‘eww’ and deposited the baby back into the vault that can only be unlocked by cash offers of greater than $250,000.
Photo Credit: INFphoto, PCN, FameFlynet
By Lex November 25, 2013 @ 1:46 PM
I’ll have to wait for the official pricing card to be updated, but it looks like Victoria Silvstedt got some touch up work done on her golden geese. Victoria releases her new editions with far less fanfare than an Apple or a Microsoft, but make no mistake about it, just like CES, this is still all about hookers getting paid.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Jack November 25, 2013 @ 1:18 PM
Soon to be convicted criminal Joe Giudice is apparently cheating on his banshee wife Teresa with some random chick. The greasy fraud was spotted by RadarOnline 30 miles from home having lunch with a woman who was hiding behind a big hat and sunglasses. During the meal he repeatedly reached out and touched her with his salami styled fingers. Joe has been in serious trouble for fraud and financially shady shit that’s likely to send him to jail soon. His wife Teresa, the shrieking beast star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, has also been indicted for taking part in Joe’s dirty deals. If she finds out he’s rubbing his greasy paws on another woman, the first thing she’ll do is probably sleep with one of Joe’s friends for revenge. I don’t envy any of Joe’s friends at the moment.
Photo credit: RadarOnline
By Travis November 25, 2013 @ 12:00 PM
Paris Hilton became famous because her family is worth a ton of money and that gave her the freedom to do whatever the fuck she wants for the rest of her life, while millions of American girls adored her slutty and idiotic antics. For reasons unknown, Paris is still pretty famous and people now pay her money to pretend that she’s a professional DJ, while she also pretends that she’s a fashion icon and world famous business entrepreneur. Of course, to most of us, she’ll always be that girl who sucked a guy’s dick in night vision, and grown up, professional businesswoman Paris wants to make sure she’s the only one still making cash off her porn.
According to TMZ, Paris is now suing the people behind the Slovenian website, ParisHiltonPornVideos.com, because it hosts clips of her porn video, 1 Night in Paris. While it might seem like Paris is being a greedy hypocrite, you could also make a case that she’s trying to finally make life a little better in Slovenia.
Photo Credit: WENN.com
By Travis November 25, 2013 @ 11:00 AM
According to her Twitter account, Tashie Jackson is a cover model and reality TV star, and on Wednesday night, she’ll be doing some girl-on-girl webcam work, presumably to raise money for the recovery efforts in the Philippines. Last night, Tashie hit the town in London for a little dinner, and I think it’s pretty clear that this girl is more than just a one-trick pony, showing her breasts off for the entire internet with the hopes of making a name for herself. She’s also showing her breasts off at posh restaurants, and I hope that for that kind of bravery she at least got some free breadsticks for her troubles.
Photo Credits: WENN.com
By Travis November 25, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Last night, the crown jewel of music award ceremonies that nobody really gives a rat’s ass about, the American Music Awards, took place in Los Angeles, and everyone from Miley Cyrus to Taylor Swift showed up to pat each other on the backs for making America’s children stupider by the minute. The members of Danity Kane were also there, probably to everyone’s surprise, and I don’t know if this is the first time they’ve appeared together in a number of years or if they have a new album out, because there’s no reason to have that information. I also don’t know 3/4 of the members’ names, and nobody else on this planet would either if it weren’t for Aubrey O’Day being so willing to remind us all 24/7 that she has huge breasts.
Photo Credits: Getty