'Man Rules' Coming Very Soon (Blatant Self-Promotion)

While all you kids were doing your Adderrall and video games and furry cosplay cuddle parties, I was busy writing a book. It's going to be on Amazon and wherever else books are sold. So, just Amazon. Man Rules. It's a guide for Millennial Males on how to be men again. read more

Digital Celebrities Even Worse Than Their Previous Counterparts

20-somethings have always been tools. You were never aware because they didn't have social media channels. It's unclear how we went from the Greatest Generation to the two YouTube "stars" individually tearfully announcing their young divorce. It's only clear that the... read more

Brody Jenner Almost Stood Up For Himself

All you need to say about a man is that he's a 33-year old Malibu DJ and you have enough. Bachelor Little League volunteer is next on the list. Bruce's straight son, Brody, made a short-lived attempt at being socially relevant when he "Amen'd" a buddy's Instagram post... read more

Kelly Osbourne Settles

Kelly Osbourne has come to an undisclosed legal resolution with Michelle Pugh, the hairdresser who was focusing heavily on dad's bangs over the course of eighteen months. At the time the affair came to light, the Osbourne daughter squarely put the blame on her father's... read more

Jury's Still Out On Kim Kardashian Robbery

Most people's first reaction upon hearing Kim Kardashian was bound and gagged and robbed in Paris was this is obvious bullshit. Also, history please don't judge us incorrectly, we weren't all into fat chicks. read more

Steven Avery Dumps Fiancee From The Slammer

Steven Avery of Making a Murderer fame and also local Throwing A Cat Into A Bonfire and Masturbating on His Female Cousin's Car Hood fame has broken off his engagement with legal secretary Lynn Hartman after just nine days. read more

Adriana Lima Is the Shit And Shit Around The Web

This video of Adriana Lima's hottest looks has got my pressure up. Fries and gravy has the same effect, only they label you a weirdo if you masturbate openly to the latter. read more

Julian Assange Back On Schedule

It's amazing Julian Assange is still alive. You have to thank the crack security staff at the Ecuadorian embassy in London. They certainly got a boost in the security team rankings thanks to Kim Kardashian's rent-a-cop fail. read more

What the Fuck Has Happened to Men? A Brad Pitt Emasculation Saga

Brad Pitt is facing his wife's departure and accusations of screaming drunkenly at his teenaged son, what we used to call typical parenting, with all the backbone of a middle child barista. read more

Lindsay Lohan Severs Her Ring Finger

There are numerous reasons why one might lose their ring finger. Gollum attack comes to mind. Pissed off ex-fiancee wanting the rock back he bought you on his father's Amex black is another. read more

How Did We Miss the Amber Rose Slut Walk?

When your Slut Walk headlines career climbing cockgobblers like Blac Chyna, Kendra Wilkinson and Perez Hilton, you know you've hit a glass ceiling of your own making. read more

Kourtney Kardashian Can't Catch a Break

Kourtney Kardashian needs a thing. She's been ambling about Paris Fashion Week half naked with her hair pulled so taut you can clearly make out her recent facial work. She's racing against time to forty. Younger sister Kim has her whoring and armed assaults and Kanye.... read more