‘Gossip Girl’ star Taylor Momsen, who is 17 by the way, certainly was a busy little bee this weekend. First she performed at the Heineken Festival in Venice on Friday, then at a club in Amsterdam on Saturday, then at the Download Festival in England yesterday. None of which I would care about except she did it in nipple tape and then a flimsy dress and then nipple tape again. People criticize sluts but by golly, when they want attention they get results.
January Jones is a mean, icy, selfish bitch, and yet, despite being several months pregnant, she still has a really nice ass and today she wore yoga pants. And now I totally forgive her and would put up with her. Being a guy really sucks sometimes.
Victoria Silvstedt had a bit of a wedgie in Monaco yesterday, and it was a chilling reminder about the dangers of wearing a bikini. If you’re a hot girl with big boobs, please, don’t be a hero, don’t risk it, just take your clothes off. Putting on a bikini is like playing with a loaded gun!
(image source = bauer griffin)
TRACY MORGAN – has now apologized for his remarks about gay people that he made in concert on June 3rd. That he’s apologizing now, after the story broke, and not when he said this stuff 7 days ago can only mean that he really wanted to get the apology just right. (the ap)
JACK WHITE – and his wife are throwing a party to celebrate their 6th anniversary, AND to announce their divorce. It just made better financial sense to have one party for both. (people)
JENNIFER HUDSON – was also rushed to the hospital today, just like Selena Gomez, but in Hudsons case it’s for suspected food poisoning. This is why girls shouldn’t eat. (popeater)
SACHA BARON COHEN – has released the fist picture of himself in ‘The Dictator’, about a Saddamm Hussein-like character who is replaced by a body double and moves to NYC. In the book the dictator was kind and benevolent, but that’s because Hussein secretly wrote it. People figured out he was the author because the character also has a black belt and 20 inch dong. (huff post)
Selena Gomez has an image as a nice sweet girl, but she’s 18 and her mom is 33. Meaning she got pregnant with Selena at 15. I don’t know the specifics of how that happened but Latin girls can’t keep their pants on so I’ll conclude that it’s because she liked to party and have lots of sex and therefore now Selena does too.
Which makes the story about her going to the hospital for nausea way more interesting.
“Last night after Selena’s appearance on The Tonight Show, she wasn’t feeling well and was taken to the hospital,” her rep tells People. “She is currently undergoing routine tests.”
Gomez complained of nausea and a severe headache.
Oh well never mind. This is probably nothing. If everyone went to the hospital complaining of headaches and nausea after listening to Jay Leno jokes, the hospitals would look like the ones in movies about zombie attacks.
(image source = inf)
Most celebrities and politicians only use twitter to troll for strange pussy, but Russell Crowe apparently uses his to talk about penises. More specifically, babys penises and their foreskin, and how they’re perfect just the way they are (his words, not mine). Or at least that’s what he was doing last night when he went on a rant about circumcision.
– “Circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?”
– “Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect.”
– “I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats, but stop cutting your babies.”
– “I will always stand for the perfection of babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires.”
– “Last of it, if you feel it is your right to cut things off your babies please unfollow and f**k off; I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.”
He’s since taken those down, and this morning he posted the tweet in the headline and a few others as sort of an apology. As well he should. Not because it was offensive but because I watch lots of porn and it freaks me out when a girl has to put an uncircumcised penis in her mouth. I just wanted to relax and watch a young Asian girl swallow after getting nailed in the ass, but all of a sudden some guy and his mummy cock show up and turn this into something weird and unseemly.
This story needs to be prefaced by listening to Jay Mohr on Opie and Anthony telling a story about Tracy Morgan tricking him into smoking PCP and then taking his shirt off and punching a waiter at a club. Because Tracy Morgan is a crazy person. He’s genuinely insane.
Morgan took the stage at the Ryman Auditorium and went off about gays — saying, “Gays need to quit being p**sies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying.”
He added, “Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming.”
When talking about the possibility of his son being gay — Tracy said he “better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I’ll pull out a knife and stab that little n**ger to death.”
Afterward, Tracy told the crowd, “I don’t “f*cking care if I piss off some gays, because if they can take a f*cking d**k up their ass… they can take a f*cking joke.”
Okay, again, Tracy Morgan is insane, and you can’t give him a microphone and put him on stage and then criticize him for saying insane things any more than you can yell at a kid with Downs for making faces. Morgan could have easily had said the same thing about stabbing his kid because he thought he was a dragon.