Anna Faris is easily impressed

By brendon June 22, 2009 @ 4:16 AM

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Anna Faris is really really hot and really really funny, and yet what you’re looking at in these pictures is her with her new husband after they eloped in Hawaii this weekend. I think the lesson to be learned is, if you see a girl you think is hot, ask her out. Just go for it man. Because girls are fuckin weird. They will absolutely have sex with guys who aren’t even remotely in their league. Much of my sex life has depended on that. The rest has been based on pity and rags soaked in ether.

(34 more bikini pics here.  hq jump here. source = wenn, fame, flynet and splash news)

I hate mondays

By brendon June 21, 2009 @ 10:51 PM

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Shauna Sands areola look like they were taken off with a can opener, but please don’t think that would dissuade her in any way from showing her tits to strangers. Like she did Saturday in Miami. Unfortunately, if you take advantage of the fact that her tits look like surprised Garfield eyes, her tan lines mess it up and make him look sinister. I tried adding a pie because he’s fat, but he still looked like an evil villain.  After that I thought maybe lasagna would be better than pie, but then I realized I was way more concerned with making Shaunas tits appealing than Shauna was, and if she doesn’t care why the hell should I.

(10 topless pics here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)

Shut the hell up Ashton

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 2:02 PM

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Hollywood actors are often pretty dumb, and many really famous actors are practically retarded. Their job is to read a sentence and then a few days later say it out loud, and they can rarely even do that on the first try, but for some reason they think this makes them experts on a wide range of topics. This is very rarely true.  Remember when Cameron Diaz went on Oprah and said that if you didn’t vote for John Kerry rape would be legal.  Well we didn’t, and trust me it’s not.  If it was I’d be hiding in Megan Fox’s closet right now.  Oh but look, I’m rambling.  Let’s see what Ashton Kutcher has on his mind today.  Yahoo says…

“Kutcher has taken to his Twitter blog to voice support for the Iranian people – and urge US officials not to get involved in the uprising.
‘Considering how well fighting 4 freedom in Iraq went, I dont know that we should B jumping in2 this Iran deal. I think that truly the only people that can change things in Iran are the Iranians themselves and they seem to be speaking their minds now.’”

Hmm.  Should we B jumping in2 this?  I thought so be4 but now 404.  I’d like to hear what Drew Barrymore has to say about Iran before I make up my mind.  Drew, ?4U.  Srs Bzns.  I’m sending a reminder kitty kat so you don’t forget.   =^..^=

Afternoon headlines

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 12:43 PM

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BRITNEY SPEARS – is getting married to her agent. Or something. “He didn’t exactly get down on one knee, but Brit didn’t care. She said yes … (he) held Britney for a long time and kissed her cheeks.” He hugged her and then kissed her on the cheek? What do we know about this guy? I think she just accidentally joined the mafia. (source = star)

JON AND KATE PLUS CLEVER DIVORCE PUN
– It was learned last night of course that Jon and Kate will announce they’re separating on Monday, but today Radar adds that they haven’t slept together in months. He sleeps in the garage and tries to avoid the house completely when Kate is there. And Gawker says Jon is looking for a place to live in Trump Towers in NYC. Oh well la-di-da. Too good for the garage, your majesty?

KENDRA WILKINSON
– had her bridal shower last night, and the whole night was like a princess in a storybook. That is to say if the princess was a drunken hussy with the worlds greatest body and a push-up bra. (16 more pics = here.  hq jump = here.  source = splash news online)

I apologize

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 10:24 AM

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Yesterday I was throwing a little hissy fit because I thought Playboy was running an old Olivia Munn picture on their July cover, but today they have her pictures online and OH MY FUCKING GOD she looks terrific. She’s not actually naked, but it’s close enough. I’ve actually been working on a plan to make her my girlfriend. Here’s my plan so far: abduct Olivia Munn. Ta-da!

(hq jump = here. image source = playboy cyber club)

Letterman doesn’t care

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 9:48 AM

Jimmy Kimmel is the funniest late night host, the return of the awesome Andy Richter makes Conan a billion times better, and Craig Ferguson has the best show and is the best host (defenitive video proof), but Letterman is still the only one who will ask things like this. Who will ask things like why Danny DeVito is drunk in so many interviews. DeVitos answer sucks and is plainly a lie, but whatever. All this DeVito talk seems to be taking the focus off of me and how handsome I am. Let’s get back on track.

Nerd Alert! (update)

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 7:32 AM

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Kristen Bell is already beloved by internet nerds, so you better believe they’re gonna cum in their pants when they see her in dorky glasses AND a bikini. Hot combination’s like that only happen in their fan fiction, like Batman with a light saber. And better gets betterer because of this, where yet again we see a flaw in bikini design. I don’t know much about fashion, but I think a good idea for a bikini would be a waterproof one.

(image source = splash news online and fame.  and for the record this is Kristen yesterday in Hawaii with bf Dax Shepard. so if you have a notebook where you track Kristens whereabouts, that’s what you’ll write.)

See what everyone is talking about

By brendon June 19, 2009 @ 6:44 AM

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The Leighton Meester sex-tape website is up now with screencaps (full size NSFW here), and it seems legit though I’m not sure who “Leigton” Meester is.  The sample pics are nice but I could have done without the creepy pervert description of her hot young body. Why do they have to make it so seedy. Can I please have my dignity, can I please just masturbate with the corner of my tshirt in my teeth and the sound on low so I can hear keys in the front door, like the well respected member of society that I am? Is that too much to ask?