coachella was a feast for the eyes

By brendon April 20, 2009 @ 5:42 AM

There was some serious eye candy at Coachella this weekend, including the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, Kirsten Dunst, and without a bra no less.  It’s sort of admirable that she wouldn't wear a bra and also pull her hair up so it looks short.  It’s like she’s a boy, which is way more honest than pretending she looks anything like a human girl.

(image source = wenn)

alicia silverstone has still got it

By brendon April 20, 2009 @ 5:41 AM

There’s no cruelty free makeup stores in Indio, California apparently, because Alicia Silverstone went bare at Coachela this weekend.  Oh and barefoot too.  There would be some of those lines above her head indicating she stinks too, but pictures only capture what’s there and not what’s implied.  Then she had a friend shovel more food into her mouth.  Her own arms gave out after a few hours.  I think I heard she’s a competitive eater now. 

(image source = splash)

kim kardashian is going to die

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 12:32 PM

Holy Crap!  Is Mexico a mile from the fucking sun because Kim Kardashian fell asleep on the beach there and this was the result.  She said on Twitter:

PLEASE HELP ME! I am so sunburned! I fell asleep with huge glasses on yesterday! This tan line is not ok!!!

I know this sucks for her but quite frankly she was asleep on a beach in Mexico on a Thursday in mid-April, taking a vacation from god knows what, so really she kiss my ass.  If she wants sympathy she’s gonna need to try harder than, “I got a sunburn because I was too relaxed at my tropical paradise.”  Next time I hope the chupacabra finds her, rolls her over and humps her.

its 2007 all over again

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 10:47 AM

In hindsight it was foolish to think that Paris Hilton had outgrown running around town with no underwear on, especially in outfits and circumstances where she might expose that diseased womb of hers.  It’s not just unpleasant to see and think about, it’s a public health issue to expose others to so much bacteria and virusses.  I’d be much more comfortable right now if, instead of taking pictures of it last night, someone had sprayed her vagina with lighter fluid and set it on fire.

lady gaga has the right idea

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 9:41 AM

We should count our blessings that Lady GaGa isn’t deformed in some way, and instead is just “very unattractive”.  If this is the kind of thing she does to distract you from her nose, if she had a hump on her back or something she’d go to clubs bare ass naked with a speculum inside of her. 

(image source = wenn and pacific coast)

britneys stalker got arrested

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 8:28 AM

A woman (specifically this one) was arrested yesterday in Calabasas for trespassing and disorderly conduct after she was caught looking into the windows at Britney Spears's house while wearing camouflage and holding a camera.

(She) was stopped by security guards and then turned over to the LA County Sheriff's Department on Thursday – hours before Brit was due to deliver the first of two Los Angeles shows on her Circus tour.
Authorities arrested Miranda Tozier-Robbins, 26, a fifth-season American Idol hopeful who auditioned with the Spears ballad "Everytime."

I don’t think someone thought this all the way through.  Camouflage gets way less effective when you’re standing on someone's porch.  Even Britney knows trees rarely walk from window to window.

lets class this mutha fukka up

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 6:54 AM

I think everyone can agree that tea is a pretty faggity drink, so where does this dude get off trying to act all tough.  He went out of his way to choose the name Ice-T.  What gang was he in, the Kool Aid Kids?   Someone named “Ice-T” would only be tough in a comic you get from the pediatrician.  He and a candy bar would fight an apple and Captain Toothbrush.

(you might be wondering what coco looked like naked in 1999.  oh hey look)

hot girl-on-girl axxxtion!

By brendon April 17, 2009 @ 6:05 AM

Damn, check this out.  These bitches are ready to party.  You take the one on the left.  I know she's short, but dude I’m tellin you, she’s 18.  I can just tell.  I’ll take the MILF on the right, who was the subject of roughly 75 percent of my teen sexual fantasies.

(image source of christy and grace turlington yesterday in nyc = pacific coast)