BLAKE LIVELY IS NICE – UPDATE

By brendon August 29, 2008 @ 11:00 AM

Blake Lively needs to stop trying to hide from the press.  The last time she did this she ended up showing one of her tits.  This time she flashed a peak of her underwear.  Wait, no.  I said she needs to stop.  I meant to say she needs to do this every single day.  Twice a day if she's gonna wear sexy ass dresses like this.  It looks like she got drilled all night then put on her boyfriends shirt and took off.  Girls look super hot when they're naked except for something that belongs to a guy.  Especially if it's my semen.

UPDATE – I was lying, i didn't update anything.  i just didn't want madonnas fug ass as the headline.  (picture source = splash news)



MADONNA IS A LUNATIC

By brendon August 29, 2008 @ 10:58 AM

God only knows why, but Madonna wore little more than some black Nike Shox and a bathrobe that said "Dancing Queen" on the back as she went through security at Schoenefeld airport in Berlin, Germany last night.  Do you have to go through security if you’re on a private plane?  I guess you do because there’s no way her bourgeois ass rode commercial.  Not even up front with the rest of the aristocracy.   Unless she bought every seat, which seems like something she would do.  As I write this, it’s dawning on me for the first time, that I hate every single thing this check has done for the past 10 years.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD AND MICHAEL PHELPS?

By brendon August 29, 2008 @ 9:33 AM

Michael Phelps has been cashing in ever since his coronation as one of the worlds greatest athletes two weeks ago, but his most impressive score may be yet to come.   According to the National Enquirer…

Michael was over the moon after hearing a rumor that the one-time American Idol thinks he is “cute.” According to celebrity tattles on-site at the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, the twentysomethings are frequently texting each other and have already begun planning a “quiet first date” near Carrie’s home in Nashville, Tennessee.
“Carrie needs someone who is going to stick by her,” a skeptical pal of Carrie’s revealed to the National Enquirer. “She was devastated when her relationship with Tony Romo broke. The last thing she needs is a relationship with another high-profile celebrity who’s going to end up loving and leaving her.”

"Someone to stick by her"?  Well then don’t date athletes and actors.  You want devotion, swing by the Dog-N-Suds, I'm sure every guy in there would smother his girlfriend with a pillow to free up the time to get on you.

VICE PRESIDENT MILF

By brendon August 29, 2008 @ 8:44 AM

Can this picture really be Alaska Governor and now Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin?  Palin was second in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, so I guess it's possible.  If so, it's an awesome strategy by McCain.  Why try to defeat your opponent when you just seduce them.

DAVID DUCHOVNY IS A SEX ADDICT

By brendon August 29, 2008 @ 6:06 AM

This really sounds like he’s just trying to brag, but David Duchovny checked himself into a rehab facility last night because he's addicted to sex.  Okay David, we get it, you get tons of ass.  Enough already.

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein, tells People exclusively.  "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family."  Duchovny, 48, has been married to actress Téa Leoni since 1997. They have two children, daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.

This guy really is a pervert, as you can tell but these completely unrelated pictures from the set of "Californication".  Even the blurry background chicks have huge tits.  Was that David’s idea?  Did he force the producers to do that, and then did he bang her?  Uh, yeah sure why not.  Either way, rehab for sex addiction is probably not nearly as hot as it sounds.  I like to imagine it's a room full of giggling cheerleaders in nothing but panties with their names across the ass, but more likely it's girls with too much eye shadow and scars on their wrists who cry if you get em in reverse cowgirl.  Boo-hoo.

(picture source = inf daily



LINDSAY LINDSAY LINDSAY!!!

By brendon August 28, 2008 @ 3:36 PM

Very obviously Michael Lohan wasn’t going to sit quietly on the sidelines after his daughter Lindsay called him out, and, predictably, here we have his response to her response to her girlfriends response to his statement, all of which has been done through entertainment websites or myspace.

"Who's out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins.
She's gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who's out of control? I go to church. I go and help people in rehab. That's control. How can she say I'm out of control? I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay.
Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life. That's what Dina told me. I'm reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy. Dina's a two-face. She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay's good side instead of being a good parent. I don't give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she's going to turn around to me and tell me, 'Daddy, you were right.”

Boooring.  Look, it's Lindsay dressed as a cheerleader on the set of Ugly Betty.  And you can tell that show is made for girls and gay guys because that's the lamest cheerleader outfit ever.  What did they spend on that, like a dollar?  It’s the kind of cheerleading outfit goth girls wear to make fun of cheerleaders.

(picture source = inf daily)



MYSPACE FIGHT!

By brendon August 28, 2008 @ 10:39 AM

If you received a note from someone and the first sentence of that note said…

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that's what i have believed my whole life- don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world-

Where would you assume you would have found that note?  Is the answer, a) in your email.  B) in your mailbox.  C) on their public myspace.   Keep in mind Lindsay Lohan is the one who wrote the note.  And it was to her dad.  Hey guess what…

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.
I'm not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…
I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

I admire Lindsays discretion.  She really took the highroad, but will her dad get the hint?  She should probably get one of those plane banners to say MICHAEL LOHAN SUCKS to fly by the beach just in case.

ASHLEY TISDALE LOOKS BETTER

By brendon August 28, 2008 @ 9:04 AM

High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale is ugly, I don’t think anyone has come here today to dispute that, but she did look better yesterday as she walked around LA.  I think the secret is for her to wear a bunch of goofy crap around her face that distracts from her terrible nose job.  Get a Viking helmet with those big horns or a spinning bowtie and she could be a model.  This was all much more flattering in my head before I started to type. 

(picture source = splash)