jessica simpson is in mexico

By brendon April 03, 2009 @ 5:31 AM

The bad news is that Jessica Simpson and a few of her sexy friends are in Mexico, home of the 5-pound burrito.  The good news is that all the weight she put on seems to have settled in nicely somewhere other than her ass.

(image source = flynet exclusives)

stuff in vegas is always better

By brendon April 03, 2009 @ 5:24 AM

Most shows on Broadway are either Bernadette Peters or a kid having sex with his horse, sometimes both, whereas shows in Vegas have “Dancing with the Stars” winner Kelly Monaco doing … whatever all this is in the brand new “Peep Show” at Planet Hollywood.  As you can see it’s all very elegant, the kind of thing Arthur Miller would write if he were still with us.

(image source = splash)

oh hey there lindsay

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 4:50 PM

I can’t even pretend to be excited about seeing Lindsays tits at this point, any more than a gynecologist would be about seeing a woman naked.  Now they almost bug me.  In fact for a while I thought it looked like one was way bigger than the other one, but that can’t be because her dumb ass would end up walking in circles all day long if that were the case, unless she carried a 3-pound weight in the opposite hand or walked with a cane or something.

afternoon headlines

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 12:52 PM

BRUNO – the red-band NSFW trailer hit today (here or the source), and it’s filled with amazing advice, including how to defend your self against a man with two dildos.  Oh of course, the backwards kick!  Next time is gonna be different.  (source = trailer park)

JENNIFER HUDSON – the Oscar winner doesn’t want people to cry for her when they think back to the tragedies in her life.  Done and done, baby. (source = star)

TAMARA MELLON – Christian Slater’s ex and the founder of Jimmy Choo is still in St. Barts, feeling her own breasts and hanging out with topless girls.  Good news for us, bad news for this poor bastard if by some miracle his wife is reading this right now.  (image source = splash)

megan fox in dt magazine

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 11:23 AM

I don’t know what DT magazine is but Megan Fox is in it, and of course she took her top off.  She does that all the time because, as she explained in an interview once, when she’s naked she feels alive.  I only feel alive when I'm dancing.  Can our two worlds coexist?

gizmo likes attention – update

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 10:25 AM

Viet Cong spy Tila Tequila distracted everyone outside One Sunset lounge last night by flashing her bra and panties.  Meanwhile, while everyone was looking at the breasts, North Korea began fueling long range rockets.  Coincidence?  C’mon man, you can’t afford to be this naïve.  I’ve got some literature you should read.

ROCK HARD UPDATE – “updated” in the sense that I added more pictures, not in the sense that she went and got natural looking implants.

(source = pacific coast and cnn)

like some kind of supermom

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 10:24 AM

If you think there’s no bias against the Lohans, maybe you can explain how people are always saying parents should spend time with their kids, yet when Dina brought her 15-year-old daughter to a bar, THEY REFUSED TO LET HER IN!  What is this, Russia?!?!

When a 46-year-old mom wants to take her daughters out for a special night, a Hollywood nightclub might seem a curious choice. Not so for Dina Lohan, who took Lindsay, 22, and Ali, 15, to Villa on March 25, Us Weekly reports.
“Do you know who I am?” Dina protested when they were turned away at the door because of Ali’s age.
“You’re making a huge mistake. Huge!” Lindsay added.

Oh what!  I hope that dude enjoyed his job.  Management is gonna be pissed when they find out he didn’t let in a minor who is closer to 12 than 21.  He better hope they only fire him, and don't sue, or even kill, him.

morning headlines

By brendon April 02, 2009 @ 8:38 AM

JOHN MAYER – gawker says his new song is about a “woman obsessed with another man and can communicate only indirectly, for example through national tabloid magazines.”  But they don’t name the woman, instead they say something about Jenifer Ansiton.  Hey Gawker, WTF?  (gawker)

BRITNEY – she's apparently “fallen for her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, and is trying to rebuild their broken family.”  But the 5 paragraphs before that are about her gettin it on with some other dude.  So Kevin is forgiven if he’s getting mixed signals. (source = ok)

LIZ HURLEY – she’s a genius when it comes to understanding the power of tits, so of course when she opened her store in Bicester, England yesterday – not a bikini store, mind you – she had hot teen girls in bikinis.  Rest assured, if there’s a way to get clean renewable energy and tits are somehow involved, Liz Hurley will figure that shit out. (source = getty and wenn)