jamie pressley is spoiled

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 4:37 PM

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Jaimie Pressley spent her honeymoon in Mexico this weekend, and pictures like this were probably considered pornography 50 years ago but things being what they are, now it’s just boring. What are you, a Senator? Take your damn top off.

christina hendricks got married

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 2:19 PM

EXCLUSIVE:  'Madmen' Star Christina Hendricks Marries in NYC!

‘Mad Men’ star Christina Hendricks married some dork named Geoffrey Arend at Il Buco restaurant in New York yesterday. They got engaged earlier this year, and you may be wondering if there’s a super cutesy story to go along with this.  Well of course there is!  People says…

When they went ring shopping earlier this year, the two knew they had a match. “They put the rings on the table,” Chila says, “and said, ‘Look, they talk to each other. They’re friends.’ “

The rings are friends? Oh holy christ. I see a lot of matching sweaters and One Free Kiss coupons in this poor bastards future. A lot of Romantic Scavenger Hunts and heart shaped pancakes. I also see the coroners report ruling that the gun shot was self inflicted.

oh hell yes

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 12:47 PM

Oh thank God finally. Finally last night was the the night on “Californication” that Eva Amuri (Susan Sarandons daughter) got naked. If you don’t know, David Duchovny plays a writer now teaching a college class and she plays a student in his class.

Her face is a little suspect but who the hell cares with natural D’s on a body like this. Her body is so perfect I could rape her from the next room. I’d be so hard I could punch my dick right through a wall and nail her from there.

tara reid is not bad

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 10:08 AM

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Just last week Tara Reid posed naked for an upcoming issue of Playboy, and this weekend she pranced around Santa Monica in a bikini top and a wristband she used for shorts. If the Playboy computer wizardry can do something about her stomach, it’s possible this shoot could be kind of hot. Or they could just focus on her breasts. Huge tits make up for almost any shortcoming. A girl with big tits could rob me with a box cutter to my throat, and not only would I give her all my money, I would probably start jacking off.

afternoon headlines

By brendon October 09, 2009 @ 5:24 PM

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DAVID LETTERMAN – made a second on-air apology to his wife, because she pretty much threatened to cut his nuts off if he didn’t. “He wanted the whole thing to blow over. But Regina told him he better make an apology to let everyone know how sorry he was for how much he hurt and humiliated her.” Haha, what a loser! He’s so p-whipped! People laugh at me because I’ve never had sex or kissed a girl or talked to a girl, but suddenly my crushing loneliness doesn’t look so bad! Oh … wait. No. No it still does. (fox news)

HEIDI KLUM – gave birth at 1am to a baby girl she named Lou Samuel. It’s her 4th child, but the first that might very well look like something from outer space. (radar)

NIKKI – I’m in love with the Cute College Girl of the Day. I love her wholly and completely. I would kill for her, I would die for her, I want to marry her and have a family and spend the rest of our lives together. (college humor)

TARA REID – went completely naked on Wednesday for a photo shoot for Playboy. She’s 33 now, and she’s of course had several plastic surgeries, so hopefully her tits look better now than they did back in 2004 when her nipples looked like the dial on a safe. (14 pics here. hq jump here. story source = intouch)

Read more >

joe francis acted in “self-defense”

By brendon October 09, 2009 @ 4:11 PM

The attorney for Joe Francis must be from one of those countries where they chop out a womans clitoris when she turns 11 or push them in volcanoes to make it rain, and he’ll be all set if he can get Joe’s assault trial moved there. Otherwise this may be the dumbest defense strategy in the history of anything ever.

Joe Francis acted in self-defense when he grabbed Jayde Nicole’s hair and violently yanked her off a bar stool and dragged her along the floor, his lawyer says.
“The footage clearly shows Nicole instigating the incident, waiting to hit Francis in the back of the head and then pour her drink down his back, thereby committing two counts of battery on Francis,” says a press release quoting Francis lawyer Cyrus Nownejad. He also points out that because the tape has no audio you can’t hear Jayde screaming “I’m going to kill you” at Francis.
“My client grabbed Nicole’s hair in self-defense to restrain her from further assaults against him and to protect himself against her horrendous threat.”

Let’s read that last one again.

“My client grabbed Nicole’s hair in self-defense to restrain her from further assaults against him and to protect himself against her horrendous threat.”

It must have taken superhuman strength for Joe to overcome his injuries and find the courage to grab a 100 pound model by her hair and drag her across the floor. Sure she had her back to him, but that’s just the point. She was facing the bar. She’d already poured 1oz of vodka on his back, now she was reloading. Now we’re up to a quarter-cup, and that’s IF there’s no ice. He could have drowned. His quick thinking saved his life, pretty much.

hmm. well. look at that.

By brendon October 09, 2009 @ 3:11 PM

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Kristin Cavallari was doing whatever the hell it is she does yesterday, and if this was in fact for her job, she was wise to chose a profession that included wearing tiny shorts because she kicks ass at it. As a performer, you have to know what your strengths are. Kristins include wearing very little clothing and then not speaking. If she thinks this is limiting her career, perhaps having sex with another girl and then sending me a video of it would help for some reason.

(11 more here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)

lindsay lohan is a genius

By brendon October 09, 2009 @ 11:39 AM

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No need to read that headline again. You read it right. Lindsay Lohan is a genius. It’s official. Her mom said so.

Lindsay was also hurt by criticism of her debut Ungaro fashion line. Dina said, “The critics can say whatever they want, but Lindsay is a genius.”
She said that, despite her deal with the French fashion house, Lindsay would also be creatively involved in Dina’s shoe line … “she will definitely have input because she is so talented.”
Taking a final swipe at her daughter’s detractors, Dina pleaded, “Leave Lindsay alone. Let her be a real 23-year-old. Let her grow, and let her artistic abilities flourish. Stop judging the Britneys and the Lindsays. They are very creative girls, and that is a gift from a higher power of God.”

In a very much related story, here are pictures from 2006 described as, “Lindsay attempts to skip rocks in the ocean.” Presumably an ocean with waves. I know her mom is just defending her only source of income, but Lindsay could be declared legally dead in most states she’s so GD dumb.

(14 more here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)