mel b looked fantastic

By brendon March 08, 2010 @ 2:17 AM


Melanie Brown went all out and looked really good for Eltons Johns Academy Award party, one of the three big parties held after the show. The other two are the Governors Ball and the Vanity Fair party. Of the three, I would guess Eltons has the best bathroom stall glory holes.

(picture source = getty images)

so what was the “kanye moment” all about?

By brendon March 08, 2010 @ 12:17 AM

The Academy Awards went almost exactly as expected last night, except for the part when the clearly humbled black guy was thanking everyone for his documentary award and then some loudmouthed bitch interrupted him saying he never lets a woman talk. She proceeded to run her cunty mouth for two minutes and never let the black guy talk.

So what was that? Salon talked to both of them, first the miserable loudmouth bitch.

“What happened was the director and I had a bad difference over the direction of the film that resulted in a lawsuit that has settled amicably out of court. But there have been all these events around the Oscars, and I wasn’t invited to any of them. And he’s not speaking to me. So we weren’t even able to discuss ahead of the time who would be the one person allowed to speak if we won.
The movie was my idea. I live in Zimbabwe. Roger had never even heard of Zimbabwe before I told him about this. And you know, I felt my role in this has been denigrated again and again, and it wasn’t going to let it happen this time.”

Yeah that’s definitely what it looked like. Like this poor old lady was steamrolled again and again by the effeminate black man. With that sweet lullaby of a voice, you could tell she’s not the type to yell or cause a scene, but this time they pushed her too far. They should make a documentary about her. And call it, ‘The Cuntiest Woman Who Ever Lived’. If nothing else a lot of guys will mistakenly rent it on pay per view.

jessica simpson is dating … someone.

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 8:01 PM


Last weekend Jessica Simpson was seen at a Dane Cook show in Hollywood, causing people to wonder if they were maybe, um, “dating” again. Then yesterday People said this about Jess and ‘The Hurt Locker’ star Jeremy Renner at a party in Beverly Hills…

“Jeremy spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy,” the source says. “They were really flirting up a storm.”
“Jessica loved it!” When the party was over, the two exchanged numbers, entering them into their phones.

Which must be news to Billy Corgan, who is quoted on Rolling Stone today saying this about Jessica…

“If I go, ‘Oh, we’re just friends,’ then it’s like, ‘Did they go out, did he dump her or she dump him, what happened?’ It has nothing to do with any of that. Sometimes people just like being around each other, and good things come out of that. My goal in life is to love whoever I think is worth loving, and I think if people knew her like I knew her, they would love her like I do. It’s really simple.”

Between this and the John Mayer thing and Oprah, there sure are a lot of people worrying about Jessica and trying to see if she’s comfortable and happy with her life these days. Oh, and I’m fine too, ya know, not that you bothered to ask. Jeez. What am I, invisible.

sofia vergara was see-thru. apparently.

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 7:23 PM

modern family 040310

I guess I was so consumed by the sight of her amazing boobs that I never even considered that Sofia Vergaras dress from yesterday might have been see-thru. In my defense it’s just barely see thru, and the only people who find that kind of thing are lonely nerds with nothing better to do than scan dozens of pictures in desperate hopes of seeing what might be a pair of panties. And so that’s what I did. OMG you can totally see her panties!!!!

bouncy bouncy

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 5:56 PM

Kourtney & Khloe Kardashian Arriving At Dash In Miami With Baby

Everyone agrees that pregnant women are gross and creepy looking, so even though Kourtney Kardashian has always been the hottest Kardashian (she even makes out with other girls) when there was some kind of animal living inside of her and feeding off her as its host, her ranking slipped far below Kim Kardashian, who was coincidentally getting into the best shape of her life at the same time.

But now Kourtney has been cured, and the only lasting effects of her sickness is that her breasts are now three times bigger. Her body really has snapped right back. Unlike Britney for example, who looked like a monster after being pregnant because she ate so much junk food that her babies got cool ranch flavored breast milk.

Read more >

sean penn is whiny lying bitch

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 4:17 PM


Sean Penn is throwing another hissy fit today because he pouts like a little girl if everyone doesn’t kiss his ass 24 hours a day. The new temper tantrum is about his heroic efforts in Haiti. He says he went down there and was a benevolent angel of mercy, and if you dare question the amazing Sean Penn about how amazing Sean Penn is, then he hopes you “die screaming of rectal cancer.”

…some have argued that celebs like Penn should stay out of aid efforts, insisting that stars use tragedy merely to rebuild their public image.
But in an interview this weekend on CBS News’ Sunday Morning, Penn says he ignores the negative chatter.
“I guess I’ve been so away from it all– and our tent camp in Haiti that I haven’t had an awful lot of time to pay attention to them,” he says. “You know, do I hope that those people die screaming of rectal cancer? Yeah. You know, but I’m not going to spend a lot of energy on it.”

The problem here is that Sean Penn lies his ass off constantly. He lied about the stuff he did in New Orleans during Katrina, so why the hell would anyone believe similar stories about Haiti.

Penn told Larry King he arrived in New Orleans on day 4 (says it right here). He stresses the point several times. In reality he got there on day 7. Katrina hit New Orleans on August 29th. Here’s a Rolling Stone article written on September 2nd that says Penn leaves for New Orleans “tomorrow.” He got into New Orleans around midnight on the 3rd. The picture above was taken on the 4th, his only day there.

Day 4 was when the first 6,500 national guard troops arrived in New Orleans. On day 5 the first emergency supplies arrived. By the time Penn got there on day 7, the National Guard troops had grown to 27,000 and the Coast Guard had rescued 15,665 people. Even the Superdome had been evacuated by then. Big difference between day 4 and day 7.

He told King, “we were able to just get a boat out in the water and help people out of the water, and go back out and do it again. So it was kind of a no-brainer, and kind of shamefully so, because there should have been more support there.”

27,000 troops. 15,000 rescues. But he wouldn’t look as cool if he said, “By the time I left the Four Seasons hotel in Houston (seriously) there wasn’t much to do,” so he changes things around to make himself more heroic.

He also told King, “We had a lot of people that were not willing to get on a boat and get out.”

Oh there’s a fuckin surprise. Let’s say a guy with greasy hair and a bad mustache pulls up to you and he’s not a cop and yet he’s holding a shotgun and has a bulletproof vest and the boat didn’t as much “pull up” as it did “scrape along the street because it was in 5 inches of water” and he’s telling you he wants to take you somewhere. Does that look like someone here to help? Or does it look like someone who says “nigger” a lot and thinks no one will notice one more dead body.

friday morning headlines

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 12:34 PM


MICHAEL J. FOX - will be given an honorary doctorate in Sweden because he’s raised $175M to find new drugs to treat Parkinsons. Preferably drugs that don’t need to be injected so he doesn’t bleed to death before he can even see if it works. (the AP)

ANGELINA JOLIE - had an affair with Mick Jagger in 1997, when she was 21 and he was 53. Then again in 2003. This is according to a new biography on Jolie called, “Things I Made Up To Sell More Books”. (daily mail)

KATE GOSSELIN - showed off her new look at a party last night in New York to promote her appearance on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. Meanwhile, 2 of her 8 kids have regressed back to a feral, or “wolf-like”, state after being left alone in the woods of Pennsylvania for this long. (huffington post)

LINDSAY LOHAN - is dating guys again, specifically UK DJ Gareth Geno. Has the troubled starlet finally found “the one”? Will this new romance kick-start her once promising career? Just so you know if you answered either one of those I fucking hate you. (mirror)

famous people are f**kin weird

By brendon March 05, 2010 @ 10:58 AM


Rihanna is in Berlin, Germany this week to ruin all the red carpet pictures at the 2010 Echo Awards. Hopefully she has this same outfit in black because then she can stretch her arms out and look like a giant bat. Rawwrrr!

If I were running the Echo Awards and saw someone coming toward it looking this dumb, I would have security run them over with a car. That might be taking it too far, but it would be important for her to know how serious I was about her stupid outfit.