Benicio Del Toro might be in Star Trek 2

By brendon November 07, 2011 @ 2:40 PM


Variety is reporting that Benicio Del Toro has been offered the role as the villain in the sequel to ‘Star Trek’, though it’s not clear which villain he’ll play. I know this is off the subject but Benicio had sex with Scarlett Johansson in an elevator when she was 19 and he was 37. That’s pretty bad ass. Also off the subject but why is my penis two shades darker than the rest of me. Does astroglide have some kind of self-tanner in it?

Andy Rooney died

By brendon November 07, 2011 @ 2:24 PM


In case you didn’t hear, Andy Rooney died Friday night in a hospital in New York City after complications following minor surgery. He was 92, and as CBS notes in the very first paragraph in their obituary for him, he “had homes in New York City, Rensselaerville, N.Y. and Rowayton, Conn.” Well la-di-da your majesty. And that headline picture comes up when you run a GIS on large Andy Rooney pictures, so I assume that’s him. I would totally fuck Andy Rooney as it turns out.

(source = CBS)

this seems inapropiate

By brendon November 07, 2011 @ 12:28 PM


If you haven’t been following the Jerry Sandusky story that broke this weekend, you might be missing the biggest (and by that I mean “most disgusting”) scandal to ever hit college football.

Sandusky was an assistant coach with Penn State under the legendary Joe Paterno for 30 years, and defensive coordinator from 1977 until he retired in 1999. No one was better at finding ways to penetrate the gap and pound the opponent, which was also the problem because this weekend he was arrested for 40 counts of sexual abuse against 8 boys, some of which happened while he was coaching, inside the football facilities at Penn State.

Most of the abuse stemmed from a charity he founded in 1977 called “Second Mile” for boys from dysfunctional families, “for children who need additional support and who would benefit from positive human contact”, which this sick fuck basically used as a dating service to meet his victims.

CBS News says…

According to the indictment (which you can read in full, with all the disgusting details, here) several of the alleged crimes took place on campus, in the Lasch Football Building. In the spring of 2002, a graduate assistant reported he witnessed Sandusky sodomizing a young boy in the shower. He later testified that he told coach Joe Paterno the very next day.”
Prosecutors say Paterno alerted athletic director Tim Curley. Curley called in Gary Schultz, the university’s senior vice president for finance and business. A week and a half later, both met with the graduate assistant, but never contacted police.

Curley and Schultz will be arraigned in District Court today for charges of perjury and failure to report the crimes, but so far no charges have been filed against Paterno, even though it really seems like they should be.

And yes the name of his biography really is “Touched”. Touched by Jerry Sandusky. The book “goes behind the scenes to explore the successes and challenges that Jerry Sandusky has faced in life, both on and off the football field,” though I pray to God that’s not true. If your challenges are stuff like, “why is this little boys anus so tight? I thought the shower would relax him.”, you can just keep that shit to yourself.

Lindsay went to jail for 4 hours

By brendon November 07, 2011 @ 11:27 AM


Remember last week when the judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail for, yet again, violating her probation? And remember when the LA County Sheriff went on TV and said he’d make sure there was room in the jail so Lindsay served her full sentence? If you don’t remember that’s fine because none of that shit happened anyway.

The 25-year-old actress checked into a Los Angeles County jail on at 8:50 p.m. Sunday — and was out by 1:40 a.m. Monday, the Associated Press reports.
It was the fifth jail sentence overall for Lohan, arrested twice in 2007 for drunk driving. Judge Stephanie Sautner gave the former Disney star her sentence last Wednesday after she missed 14 out of her 19 court-mandated psychotherapy sessions and canceled 12 of her 20 self-appointed downtown women’s center visits.

If we know we’re gonna turn her loose in just a few hours, and at this point it’s obvious we do, there should at least be some way to make it feel longer. Like hide a cobra somewhere in the cell too, or stab her in the leg and wiggle the blade back and forth.

Justin Bieber is probably not the father

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 4:59 PM


So it turns out that Justin Bieber is not the not the first person Mariah Yeater has claimed is the father of her child. She also said she got gang banged by the Jonas Brothers. No not really. That would have been awesome though.

TMZ says…

The woman who claims Justin Bieber fathered her child made the exact same allegation to her ex-boyfriend last year … this according to her ex-BF’s grandmother.
(She) says Yeater came to their home in December 2010 and told John Terranova she was pregnant with his child. He insisted he did not get her pregnant.

After that she was arrested and charged with battery after smashing her boyfriends windshield and slapping him 3 times. At least according to the grandmother. Unfortunately for Mariah, her version of the Bieber story is that she had sex in a bathroom with a minor that she barely knew, so it’s really not that hard to chip away at her character.

(and now, unrelated pictures of Doutzen Kroes dressed as Catwoman)

Kim Kardashian is back, sad

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 3:52 PM


It was pandemonium at LAX today when Kim Kardashian arrived from Australia and walked through the terminal with the frowniest face ever. What a lucky break that there were dozens of paparazzi there to capture it and show everyone how sad she is about her totally not-fake wedding. I wonder how they knew when her plane was arriving? Just good guessers, I suppose.

(image source = fame and inf)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore tight pants

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 1:53 PM


Rosie Huntington-Whiteley went to a party for Christian Louboutin at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills last night wearing these super tight leather pants. And yet when I asked her if I could borrow some last weekend she said she didn’t have any. Ok, fine, I see how it is. Two can play this little game.

(source = fame)

Justin Bieber says he never even met that girl

By brendon November 04, 2011 @ 1:22 PM


Justin Bieber went on the Today Show this morning and pranced around like a little fairy. More to the point he said in no uncertain terms that he did not have sex with Mariah Yeater and is not the father of her child as she claims. E! says…

“Never met the woman,” the singer flat-out told Matt Lauer this morning on Today when asked if he knew her.
“I’d just like to say, basically, that none of those allegations are true. I know that I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim.”
“Every night after the show, I’ve gone right from the stage right to my car, so it’s crazy that some people want to make up such false allegations. To set the record straight, none of it is true.”

I still can’t believe he gets any ass off this kiddy music. It’s like listening to a teddy bear band.