The 2011 Grammy Awards were last night in Los Angeles, which meant a whole new chance for Lady Gaga to remind everyone that she truly does not care about how stupid she looks.
When she first started, she was interesting because she worked closely with designer Alexander McQueen, who was sort of a genius. Then he killed himself in February of 2010. After that she starting wearing things like the meat dress. Last night she arrived in a egg sort of thing, and then emerged from it on stage.
So, yeah, first meat, now eggs. She went from being interesting to doing a grade school play about the food groups. Is her new song about cavities? Yeah, next you’ll be a toothbrush chasing a cupcake, we fucking get it.
Just a few hours before Lindsay Lohan went on twitter last night saying she “would never steal”, her attorney made it clear that it really looks like Lindsay stole and they did not want to go to trial on her felony theft charge. So she told the DA that Lindsay would accept a plea bargain if it meant she would avoid any time in jail.
Deputy District Attorney Danette Meyers is INSISTING that any plea bargain for Lindsay Lohan include jail time, Radar is reporting.
Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley, is attempting to work out a deal without jail time but a source close to the situation tells us that’s simply not going to happen.
“Meyers is standing her ground and saying that any deal for Lindsay include jail time,” the source said. “This is a felony charge, and Lindsay has a criminal record. Meyers won’t back down on this.”
Oh thank god. She’s broken 8000 laws, she deserves to be in jail, in a cell with some crazy person screaming at her all night like some kind of demon.
The Black Eyed Peas played a show at the Music Box in Hollywood last night, a benefit concert for Will.I.Am’s charity the Peapod Foundation, but the most generous person of all was Ciara for wearing this skin tight and kind of see thru catsuit.
I’m sure there’s some explanation for why she isn’t a huge star but I’ll be damned if I know what it is. This bitch is hot. Couldn’t we just give Ke$has songs to her from now on? Saying she got drunk and then hopping up and down really seems like something she could do.
JWoww is in New York for Fashion Week, and last night she was the special guest at… okay I forgot to write it down. Someones show. No one good, obviously. But she tried to make it good by wearing one of those black dresses that always turn see-thru when they’re hit by a flash. And I’m assuming she knew this because everyone knows this. And because it’s really not that hard to put on a bra. You just have to believe in yourself.
I was at the store one time, behind these two guys, and one said to the other, “He swears he’s making 100 grand a year at this point, and even if he’s lying he’s makin half that.” And I thought, “no not really.” That’s the thing about lying. There’s no rules, the sky’s the limit, you can say literally anything. You can even lie about your lying, it’s all up to you.
Point being, Lindsay Lohan went on her twitter last night…
“i just want to be on set again, and left alone to just work!
fyi- i would never steal, in case people are wondering. I was not raised to lie, cheat, or steal…”
Well, yeah, dickhead, we know you weren’t specifically raised to lie, cheat, and steal. You’re not Nikita, you weren’t trained at this, you weren’t adopted by Fagin, we get that. So what? You still do it. And you want to be on set, to work again? Fuck off. Why would anyone hire you? I’d hire a pedophile to babysit my kids before I’d hire you to act in a movie, because I’d trust them more to do the right thing.
Once you get used to the idea of an X-Men movie set in 1962 against the Cuban Missile Crisis, and James McAvoy (Wanted) as Professor X and Michael Fassbender (Inglorious Basterds) as Magneto, this thing actually looks pretty good (little bigger 1080 copy here). It has a cool style. Like Mad Men if Don Draper could move shit with his mind.
CNN spoke to Lindsay Lohans attorney today, and even though Lindsay is a sweet little angel being framed by a wicked jewelry store, she will consider a plea deal if it will keep her out of jail.
“Ms. Lohan maintains her innocence, and now that I’ve seen the police reports, I believe the case is entirely defensible,” (Lohans attorney) said. “Having said that, we will entertain a discussion concerning a plea if it means no jail so that she can move forward with her recovery and her career.”
This DA seems really annoyed with Lindsays arrogance and theatrics, so hopefully she won’t make a deal. Unless the deal is to do that one where they put her head and hands in that locking piece of wood thing and we get to spank her. I could go for that.
Banksy, the English painter and street artist, is about as famous as someone can be without anyone actually knowing for certain who he is. He almost never appears in public, and on the rare occasion that he does, he reportedly wears a monkey mask.
This years he’s been nominated for and will probably win an Academy Award for directing the documentary Exit Through the Gift Shop.
You’re probably picking up on the problem by now. The Wrap says…
For an organization that prides itself on security and decorum, there’s something unsettling about the thought of an Oscar winner taking the stage in disguise, or trying to accept the award without revealing his identity.
“The fun but disquieting scenario,” said the Academy’s executive director, “is if that film wins and five guys in monkey masks come to the stage all saying, ‘I’m Banksy!’ Who the hell do we give it to?”
In case that wasn’t rhetorical, here’s my answer: I don’t give a fuck. That’s your problem. I just want to see him win because this is the same guy who was given free reign to do an opening for the Simpsons and he did this. He basically said they were running a slave labor camp. This could be the most interesting thing to ever happen on this dumb show. Or the most terrifying if you’re the Academy. If I were them I’d find out where he was sitting and paint the chair with some kind of liquid cement.