Holy Crap

This story is so fucked up it's almost hard to comprehend. Thankfully TMZ writes at a level where you expect the story to have pop-up dinosaurs in it or furry swatches over drawings of a dog. The cliff notes are this: - The body of a one-time Playboy model named Jasmine... read more

Michael Jacksons doctor is screwed

Fox News says today that Michael Jackson's personal physician, not the white one but the black one, will be charged with manslaughter within the next two weeks. But the white guy is screwed too. Dr. Conrad Murray (has) admitted he gave Jackson propofol to help him sleep... read more

Britney reads the Top 10

People are dumb so they'll sometimes laugh at anything, even things that clearly aren't funny, if they think they've just been told a joke. Watch any Robin Williams talk show appearance from 1978 until today and you'll see what I mean. Or you could watch last nights Top... read more

My secret shame

Have you ever had a girl that you could tell wasn't actually hot but for some reason you found her sexy anyway? Maybe it was the voice or body or whatever but you desperately wanted to have sex with her even though you knew she wasn't classically pretty. That's what's... read more

Afternoon headlines

MICHAEL JACKSON - The AP confirms today he will be buried on August 29, but that "details about the ceremony have been tightly guarded." They go on to confirm that Jackson will be buried in a private ceremony at Forest Lawn-Glendale on the Holly Terrace at the cemetery's... read more

51-years-young

Madonna spent her 51st birthday in Italy this week with her 21-year-old boyfriend, whose illicit geriatric lust must have been like a fire inside as she walked around, probably shakily, with her old lady parasol. And since he has no dignity or self respect, some of his... read more

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Mary Kate looks terrible

People kept emailing me this picture from Boston.com, and I thought it was because Mary Kate Olsen looked so bad that they misidentified her as Steven Tyler, but then I eventually put it together. read more

Everyone hates Gwyneth Paltrow

Brace yourself for the shock of a lifetime, but new reports are claiming Gwyneth Paltrow is a stuck up pain in the ass. Oh I know right! Fox News says... A source says some of the "Iron Man" team had secret hopes of her character being recast, or even killed in the... read more

Michael will be buried next week

Nine days ago, the London paper the Mirror said Michael Jackson had been quietly buried the day before in a secret ceremony so fans wouldn't know where he was. They said... The King of Pop was quietly buried at the Forest Lawn Cemetery, Hollywood Hills – without a even a... read more

Morning Headlines

JOE ROGAN - pee's in a cup and then drinks it in this video. And he gets some radio DJ to do the same. So in a way it's like 2 Girls 1 Cup, except it's guys and their penises. In other words, it's way worse. (source - redban) MICHAEL JACKSON - may or may not have been... read more

These kids are so screwed

Jon Gosselin of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" says the incident last night, the one that left Kate being escorted away in tears, began as a simple miscommunication until Kate called the cops and ramped up the fake tears for the cameras "[Kate] tried to come home yesterday and I... read more

George Clooney seems reasonable

George Clooney is preparing a number of lawsuits after pictures were published of a 13-year-old girl as she changed clothes while alone in one of the rooms of his Italian villa. TMZ says... ...paparazzi climbed over the wall of his Italian home and shot a topless photo... read more

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