Coco and her bikini are here to class things up

By brendon October 04, 2010 @ 5:42 PM

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It was a real feast for the eyes in Miami today when Coco (the model, not Conan O’Brien) went to the beach. Personally I like girls who are short and skinny, because I’m a suburban white kid and not some god damn weirdo, so the nicest thing I can say is: hey all you other girls in Hollywood who want to be famous, look at this. Coco went to the beach essentially naked and now she’ll be all over the internet.

Hint hint, dummy.

(source = splash news online)

Oprah Winfrey and her gay lover went camping

By brendon October 04, 2010 @ 4:11 PM

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(NOTE: the picture in the headline is an artists depiction of what this story would look like if it was awesome, as opposed to gross)

If there’s one thing that all straight women love, it’s camping, so no wonder Oprah Winfrey and her longtime companion Gayle King went camping this weekend in Yosemite. Why else would they go off together?

(Radar has learned Winfrey and King) were spotted at an REI store Friday morning in Fresno, California shopping for camping supplies on their way up to Yosemite National Park.
“I didn’t think Oprah was the type to do tents but her and Gayle scooped up all sorts of supplies,” (a source) said.
“They bought sleeping bags, lawn chairs, water bottles and fanny packs too.”
Oprah had her crew from The Oprah Winfrey Show documenting her trip with Gayle over the weekend … it should air later in October.

Why won’t this bitch just admit that she’s gay? It’s actually really insulting. No one cares anymore if someone is gay or not. It would only matter if you’re my friend Greg and you’ve texted me twice today because you wanna come out of the closet, in which case you need to just keep that shit to yourself.

no one went to visit Lindsay Lohan in rehab

By brendon October 04, 2010 @ 3:19 PM

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Everyone hates Lindsay Lohan of course, for a million perfectly valid reasons, and if you needed even more proof, INF Daily says that yesterday was the first day she was allowed to have visitors in rehab at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California, and the only person who showed up was her personal assistant.

In other words, her employee. Who Lindsay gives money to so she’ll hang out with her.

What a freakin loser. It’s actually sort of sad. Stuff like this is why I hardly ever hire prostitutes to spend my birthday or Christmas with me any more.

Britney Spears might be free to go all apeshit again

By brendon October 04, 2010 @ 1:29 PM

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2008 was awesome. Not only was I was bangin this hot Asian chick with huge jugs, but Britney Spears had gone completely crazy. She shaved her head, flashed her kitty (NSFW), showed her boobs, got 5150’d, ate lots of cake, and made a bunch of dumb faces. It was a simpler time, before everyone started copying my hillbilly-Britney-inner-dialogue and ruining it for me, back when she could pull over on the side of the road and go swimming in her bra and panties.

But then her do-gooder boyfriend and manager had to straighten her out and ruin everything. Even more important was that her dad was given complete control of her finances, which essentially put her on lockdown and killed her ability to act out.

So with all that in mind, this could be awesome news…

Britney Spears’ conservatorship is coming to an end, Radar has learned exclusively (and) will most likely end within three months
“Britney has made tremendous progress in the past three to four months. She seems to be firmly in control again,” the source said.

Her dad should be commended because Britney was on the verge of complete collapse and he practically saved her life. My dad never gave me a lot of advice as a kid, but he would hit me in the back of the head if I did something stupid, and that’s kind of like advice. What a touching post this turned out to be!

Ashley Tisdale and her bikini are disapointing

By brendon October 04, 2010 @ 10:27 AM

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Ashley Tisdale and her boyfriend, whose name I forgot to write down but who cares, were at Wet Republic in Vegas this weekend, and it was every bit as dull and unsatisfying as you might imagine. She’s allegedly 25 but her bikini still hangs off her and bunches up in this creepy way. It’s like watching a thirteen-year-old, except I dont have to alert management that I’m there and have them sign my paperwork.

(source = splash news online)

“Ma’am can I get you a coat or something?”

By brendon October 01, 2010 @ 4:48 PM

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Lady Gaga wore a dress made of fishnets and hair when she performed at The Oak Room in New York City two nights ago, even though no one in attendance appeared to be happy about any of it.

(image source = splash news online)

That’s Gisele Bundchen. That’s not Tom Brady.

By brendon October 01, 2010 @ 3:46 PM

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Gisele Bundchen certainly is a friendly lady. While her husband Tom Brady is back home in Boston preparing to play the Dolphins Monday night, she’s in Paris having foreplay with some guy two guys. “Gawd dammit! I knew thaat spic whoor was ganna be a praablem,” said every single Patriots fan when they heard the news.

Lea Michele is a covergirl

By brendon October 01, 2010 @ 1:55 PM

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There’s no point in denying it, ‘Glee’ has taken over Hollywood. Which is good news for “Glee’ star Lea Michele, because now she gets to do things like be on the cover of major magazines, something she would have never thought possible before the show.

“I grew up in a community where what I looked like wasn’t considered beautiful and then I worked on this show that proves it doesn’t matter what you look like, that you’re beautiful and that beauty is on the inside… so yeah, I’m thankful.”

In a sense I agree because when I dress sexy, I don’t do it for others I do it for me. When I look sexy I feel sexy, ya know.