Lindsays ‘Gotti’ movie sounds pretty great

By brendon July 28, 2011 @ 12:24 AM

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I used to think the producers of the John Gotti movie (including Stuttering John) were poser retards who had no idea what the fuck they were doing. But it turns out their website plays the Madonna song ‘Hollywood’, which is where many movies are made. You can’t get much more professional than that.

And then they cast big names like John Travolta (who will act in literally anything and hasn’t made a good movie since 1998) and Lindsay Lohan (in a role so prestigious they first offered it to Kim Kardashian) and, amazingly enough, Joe Pesci. I have no idea how but they actually got Joe Pesci to play a mob enforcer.

He’s one of the greatest actors ever, and this is the role he’s best at, so maybe they know what they’re doing after all. What do you think Entertainment Weekly?

Actor Joe Pesci is suing Fiore Films, the production company behind the John Gotti biopic, for $3 million.
The suit alleges that the company used Pesci’s name to drum up interest in the project, only to rescind an offer for Pesci to play Gotti enforcer and childhood friend Angelo Ruggiero.

Actually they changed their mind and asked him to play a lesser role for a third of what they already agreed to pay him. Joe Pesci. The guy from ‘Goodfellas’ and ‘Casino’. The guy who has only made 2 movies since 1998. They goy him out of semi-retirement to play a mob psycho, for the bargain rate of $3 million. And then after he agreed to it they decided he should play some other guy instead for $1 million.

But wait, let’s ask the guy who thinks he’s Chili Palmer for his side of the story.

Mike Fiore, CEO of Fiore Films, claimed it was Pesci who had pulled out of the project.
“Before we had a deal, Mr. Pesci walked away,” says Fiore, who also contends he’s considering countersuing Pesci. “He’s wasting his time and everybody else’s time. I might be a newbie in town. This newbie is not going to get bulled around.”

Yes, clearly. You’re very tough. It was very wise of you to screw over a universally respected and liked actor. He would have given your mafia movie instant credibility, but your lead is the guy who played Edna Turnblad in ‘Hairspray’, so I guess you already got that covered.

Julia Roberts: so photoshopped its illegal

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 7:42 PM

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If you were to open a popular ladies magazine in England today and see this ad for Lancome cosmetics, you might shriek, “Is that supposed to be Julia Roberts? Why does she look so young? Am I back in 1995? What have you done to me, popular ladies magazine? When am I?!?!”

But don’t blame the magazine. It just turns out that Lancome makes moisturizer, not magic potions. The Guardian says…

L’Oréal has been forced to pull ad campaigns featuring Julia Roberts (after complaints) that the images were overly airbrushed.
The ASA ruled that both ads breached the advertising standards code for exaggeration and being misleading and banned them from future publication.

L’Oréal’s two-page ad featuring Roberts, who is the face of Lancôme, promoting a foundation called Teint Miracle, which it claims creates a “natural light” that emanates from beautiful skin.
(But) images of both celebrities had been digitally manipulated and were “not representative of the results the product could achieve”.

It’s no surprise that a cosmetics company would exaggerate, but they were just begging to get caught by trying this with Julia Roberts. Or will their lotion fix your teeth too? Her crows feet are so bad she wears sunglasses constantly, even at night. Even at night, indoors.

Here’s a side-by-side of Lancomes “Julia Roberts” and Realitys Julia Roberts at the premiere of ‘Larry Crowne’ two weeks ago. “Julia Roberts” looks 19. Lancome might as well claim they can reanimate the dead. Either they’re lying or it’s made with the tears of a Phoenix.

thank God for Brandi Glanville in a bikini

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 3:55 PM

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Unlike Amy Winehouse, “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star Brandi Glanville put on a pink bikini and quietly walked around the beach in Malibu, because she’s not a theatrical little cry baby. Fine Amy. Yeah, good, go do more drugs Amy, that’ll be fine, you don’t need help you know-it-all little bitch. Come on, everyone, let’s all go pay attention to Amy so her little hissy fit won’t go to waste.

(image source = pacific coast)

Mitch Winehouse is an asshole

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 2:55 PM

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All of these things happened in the past month:

1. One day before Amy Winehouse died, her mom visited her and would later say Amy was so “out of it” that her death “was only a matter of time.” (us)

2. “She has spent the last seven days on a massive bender and people were saying she’s going to drink herself to death.” Sources claim she died from a ‘bad’ ecstasy pill combined with huge amounts of alcohol.” (the mirror)

3. “The sordid details of Amy Winehouse’s final hours emerged today, with claims that she bought a cocktail of narcotics including cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine.” (daily mail)

4. “Winehouse slurred through her set to the echoes of boos from the 20,000-strong crowd. ‘Amy was just standing there, swaying back and forth and mumbling occasionally.’ ” (THR)

Okay, so with all that in mind, here’s what her dad Mitch talked about at her funeral…

Mitch Winehouse yesterday claimed his tragic daughter had beaten her drug addiction – and had, in fact, conquered her dependency three years ago.
“Three years ago, Amy conquered her drug dependency, the doctors said it was impossible but she really did it. She was trying hard to deal with her drinking and had just completed three weeks of abstinence.”

Oh fuck you, Mitch. I hate this dick. He could have helped save his daughters life and he didn’t. Instead he covered for her and told her she didn’t need rehab. I get that he’s grieving but there’s so much revisionist history in that story I’m willing to bet he’s counting the time she’s been dead as another week of abstinence.

Wednesday headlines, with over caffeinated Renee Zellweger

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 1:06 PM

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AMY WINEHOUSES – dad Mitch is setting up a foundation to help people struggling with addiction. And not a moment too soon! (fox)

FRANK DARABONT – is leaving his position as show-runner on ‘The Walking Dead’. Darabont adapted the show, wrote or co-wrote all of season 1, and directed the premiere. It’s not clear if he’ll still act as executive producer or why he’s leaving. Just between us, I’m not saying he got caught fucking a baby, but I’m not not saying that either. (the wrap)

GEORGE LUCAS – lost a lawsuit he filed against the designer that created the original Stormtrooper costume, who sells replicas in England. Lucas (net worth: $3.2 billion) claimed a copyright violation and feels he should be the only one who makes any money off Star Wars, regardless of whether or not anyone else deserves too. His case was hurt when he went on the stand clutching bags with dollar signs and said, “I want all the money, me, gimmie, it’s mine, all of it!” (bbc)

RON HOWARD – directed ‘The Da Vinci Code’ and ‘Angels & Demons’, but will not direct the third Dan Brown book starring the Tom Hanks character Robert Langdon. “The first two took place in Paris and Rome, but this one is in Washington, which is a terrifying shithole,” Howard probably said. (deadline)

RENEE ZELLWEGER – was either sent on a Starbucks run yesterday or is still pee’ing right now. (image source = wenn)

its a Jasmine Waltz bikini car wash

By brendon July 27, 2011 @ 10:27 AM

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I don’t know what it is exactly, but holy shit do I love Jasmine Waltz. She’s only famous of course for dating David Arquette right after he separated from Courteney Cox, but I don’t care. I’m all in. Her sex tape is maybe the hottest celebrity tape ever. Easily the best one since Pam Anderson. So if she washed her car in a bikini yesterday to maybe drum up some attention for it, it worked. She looks incredible in that thing. Sexy but not slutty. Which is also how people describe me when I dance the bachata, by the way. Erotic, yet always in control. If I had to describe my dancing with one word it would be; “sensual”.

(image source = bauer griffin. and until youtube takes it down, here’s a mostly SFW clip of her tape)

Blake Lively will soon have Sex in a City

By brendon July 26, 2011 @ 7:39 PM

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It seems like it’s been forever since the British tabloids clearly made up some casting news. “Done and done,” says the Daily Mail.

Rumours were rife after the second film launched last year that another was on the cards and now it has emerged that ‘Sex and the City 3′ will go ahead – with a new cast featuring some of Hollywood’s hottest talents.
Taking form as a prequel the proposed project will be based on Bushnell’s two novels, The Carrie Diaries and Summer And The City (published this year) which track the four individuals in their teenage years and early twenties before they become a united female front in New York.
It is rumored that current preferences for the roles are Blake Lively as Samantha Jones, Selena Gomez as Charlotte York, Emma Roberts as Miranda Hobbes and Elizabeth Olsen as Carrie Bradshaw.

Well this movie sounds like a home run. Because when I see a girl having sex in a movie, I always think, “hey, I wonder what she was doing before this.” To me that’s way more interesting.

(image source of Blake today in LA on the set of ‘the Savages’ = wenn)

Bar Refaeli is still in a bikini

By brendon July 26, 2011 @ 6:09 PM

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Bar Refaeli spent another day in a bikini in Porto Cervo, Italy, with her new boyfriend David Fisher, and I don’t know much about that guy but word on the street is that he goes to children’s hospitals at night and masturbates on the kids. You hear that Bar! Little kids! With cancer! “It makes me feel sexy,” he probably says. Oh sure he’ll deny it if you ask but what do you expect from a sicko like that!

(image source = inf)