Ashton has finally visited Demi

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 7:26 PM

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Ashton Kutcher has been criticized lately because he’s essentially done nothing to show any kind of support for Demi Moore since she was hospitalized last week, but keep in mind that Ashton Kutcher is a jackass. Seems unrealistic to think that was just gonna magically stop now.

Thankfully, E! says he’s finally found time in his busy schedule to swing by.

On Wednesday, Bruce Willis was spotted paying a visit to (Demi). Later in the day … Ashton Kutcher was seen pulling into the actress’ driveway in a blacked-out Lexus.

That’s not a bad impulse actually. Just do that Ashton. Just follow Bruce Willis around and do whatever he does, since he seems to know what he’s doing, and you’re practically retarded.

Courtney Love killed her daughters pets

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 5:20 PM

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Frances Bean Cobain, the 19-year-old daughter of Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain, described her mom as unstable and an unrepentant drug addict in court papers filed to get a restraining order in 2009.

I know, right! I was surprised too!

“(Love) has taken drugs for as long as I can remember,” Cobain said. “She basically exists on Xanax, Adderall, Sonata and Abilify, sugar and cigarettes. She rarely eats … She often falls asleep in her bed while she is smoking, and I am constantly worried that she will start a fire (which she has done at least three times) that will threaten our lives.”

And the restraining order wasn’t just for Frances; it also applied to her pets, because “Love’s wreckless behavior caused the death the family dog and cat.”

“The cat died after getting entangled in Love’s messy piles of ‘Etsy fabrics, boxes of paperwork, trash and other possessions,’ (and) the dog swallowed several of Love’s stash of prescription pills.”

Yes. That’s exactly how I pictured life for a child being raised by Courtney Love. Frances would have been better off living in that cave at the beginning of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’.

(source = the fix and the daily news)

Kate Upton is back in the SI swimsuit issue

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 4:05 PM

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Kate Upton was on twitter about an hour ago, posting this preview picture and confirming that she’ll be in the 2012 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, which goes on sale in about two weeks. She’s only 19 and her career is just beginning, but as you can see she has really big things in front of her (wink, wink).

Until then here’s a hundred pictures of Kate in bikinis for Beach Bunny, which I had saved because mind your own business. What goes on in my house is between me and the pictures, I’m not hurting anybody, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Madonna deserves all your money

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 2:09 PM

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Furry old lady Madonna is a mean, self-centered cunt with no actual talent other than knowing which producers to hire to make her records for her, and if you needed some reminders about that, here they are.

On Lady Gagas song ‘Born This Way,’ which many say sounds like Madonna’s 1989 hit ‘Express Yourself.’

“Of course I heard it. How could I not? I think it was on the radio a few times. I thought, ‘This is a wonderful way to redo my song.’ I recognized the chord changes, I thought it was … interesting.”

And when asked if it’s reasonable to charge hundreds of dollars for tickets to her new tour during a recession:

“Start saving your pennies now,” she says, sounding annoyed that any-one would suggest these prices are prohibitive. “People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I’m worth it.”

Oh she sure is. What a treat it would be to see an old lady in a boa shuffle around the stage lip synching pop songs from the 80’s. It’ll be like a talent show in a nursing home, and who doesn’t love those?

(image source of madonna at the london premiere of ‘w.e.’ = wenn)

Minka Kelly is perfect all the time

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 1:04 PM

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Minka Kelly was out in Beverly Hills yesterday, and when you’re as pretty as she is the universe perfectly lights you and gently blows your hair so you look like a shampoo commercial all the time. And when you see her in real life, it’s in slow motion, everything around her is replaced by glittering stars, and ‘Dream Weaver’ plays.

(image source = splash, inf)

so photoshopped its illegal, part 3

By brendon February 01, 2012 @ 7:02 PM

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Rachel Weisz is a beautiful woman, and in her L’Oreal ads it certainly seems like she’s been fighting the 10 visible signs of aging, but it was all a trick.

In fact her pictures were so manipulated and so exaggerated, that today she joins Julia Roberts and Taylor Swift in having her ads banned in the UK because they essentially lie to costumers.

And just think about that, think about how bad a company has to lie before their ads get banned. Even the commercials that begin by asking me if my penis is small and unsatisfying don’t get banned. They have a pretty lady in a lab coat purring about dicks, and how much she loves them, the bigger the better, and they certainly imply that mine could join this legion of legendary dongs if I take a $40 pill made of nothing but sawdust and glue, but even they don’t lie to customers the way cosmetic companies do.

it could have been Zac Efron tweeting Demi Moores ass

By brendon February 01, 2012 @ 4:07 PM

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Had he played his cards right, 24-year-old Zac Efron could have been the next young Hollywood hunk having three-ways with 49-year-old Demi Moore. Or, played his cards wrong, whichever the case may be.

“(Demi) has been really down (since separating from Ashton Kutcher), and she’s surrounding herself with young people to make her feel better,” an insider tells Us magazine.
One of Moore’s favorite young stars to party with — and flirt with — is daughter Rumer Willis’s longtime friend Zac Efron, a hunk nine years younger than Kutcher, 33.
A wired, gaunt Moore “tracked down” Efron at a party in Venice. “She seemed out of her mind at this party.”

So this could have been just like the scene in ‘New Years Eve’ when Zac kissed Michelle Pfeiffer, except this time, the game is for real!!!

(image source = inf, splash)

Karina Smirnoff is cautious

By brendon February 01, 2012 @ 3:02 PM

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Fame Images says that reigning ‘Dancing With The Stars’ champion (and former Playboy model) Karina Smirnoff took a break from her DanceFIT-KS Hawaiian tour, though I have no idea what the hell that means.

Point being, she went paddle boarding. But only after taking lessons. And good for her. Those paddle boards are like a loaded gun. I thought I could do it without lessons and was only out there for a few minutes before starting a huge fire. It was a classic lesson in hubris.