Natalie Portman is a good actress

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 5:21 PM


This red band trailer for Your Highness looks shockingly bad and unfunny, and apparently they knew it too because they included footage of Natalie Portman taking her clothes off. And at that point the trailer looks wonderful. I would do so much damage to this girls ass, they could only repair it with the tears of a phoenix.

Glee made fun of Lindsay Lohan and Dina doesnt like it

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 4:47 PM

Last night on Glee, Gwyneth Paltrow played a substitute Spanish teacher who tries to relate to the students by working Lindsay Lohan references into her lesson plan. Specifically about what a screw-up she is, by asking things like, “how many times has Lindsay been to rehab?”

Needless to say Lindsay’s mom is livid over this outrageous slander.

Lindsay Lohan’s mom and siblings think “Glee” was shameful for mocking Lindsay on the show last night … this according to sources connected to Dina and the kids.
 We’re told Dina is saying, “Shame on them,” and the family feels it was “tasteless.”

To recap, Dina raised this punk ass Lindsay, who has been in jail 4 times (mugshots!) and rehab 5 times by the age of 24, and yet she’s the one acting outraged. Holy Christ, people make fun of Michael Lohan, but, simply the fact that he didn’t punch Dina in the face 5 times a day makes me think he’s some kind of saint.

Afternoon headlines

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 3:15 PM


EVA LONGORIA – has finally put an end to 30 hours of rumors and filed for divorce from Tony Parker, essentially ending their 3 year marriage. Who know pro athletes liked to sleep around? Not me! (e!)

COWBOYS AND ALIENS – has a badass teaser trailer out today, starring James Bond and Indiana Jones. By the end you think maybe the aliens should have started with Cody Banks and Rick O’Connell and gotten a little practice first. (yahoo)

CARLY FOULKES – is the tmobile mytouch 4g girl, and I mention that because this is what we do now. We stalk hot girls from commercials liberate deserving young actresses from the shackles of anonymity!

Renee Zellweger knows how to pick workout clothes

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 1:08 PM


This is why everyone hates women. Renee Zellweger wears a pair of tights to the gym that looks like something you’d wear to be an anatomy class model, oh, but if I get caught looking at her toaster, suddenly I’M the pervert here right? What does she have on under that jacket, blinking Christmas light wrapped around her tits?

(source = fame)

Tony Parker has been cheating on Eva Longoria

By brendon November 17, 2010 @ 11:55 AM


Despite denials yesterday, at least in regards to whether or not Tony Parker filed for divorce, Us magazine goes on sale today with a cover story claiming that Parker has been cheating on Eva Longoria for over a year. Well, not really cheating, but close enough to piss off his wife.

Eva Longoria Parker and Tony Parker have split after three years of marriage, Us Weekly reveals.
Multiple sources tell Us Weekly that Longoria Parker, 35, recently discovered that her husband, 28, has been exchanging personal texts with a mutual female friend for nearly a year — hundreds in just one month.
She plans to file for divorce soon.
“Eva is heartbroken by the betrayal,” says one insider, adding that her husband confessed to the inappropriateness – which took place for nearly a year – after she confronted him.

Basketball players should know better than to date Latin girls, because those dudes WILL cheat, and Latin girls WILL catch them and then freak the fuck out. He should just be glad he didn’t get stabbed with a pencil or something. Eva might be interested to know that I’m single and I can’t stand basketball, but best of all, I’m a sweet gentle boy with a heart full of love.

Tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 16, 2010 @ 8:13 PM


SALVATORE GIUNTA – was awarded the Medal of Honor today, the first living recipient in almost 40 years. The LA Times has a transcript of the Presidents speech here, and Giunta has a twitter page here (update – maybe just go to the US Army page for now), so if you wanted to say something to an actual hero, that might be a good place. Moving right along…

DEMI LOVATO – hopes to get out of rehab (for cutting) and back home before Thanksgiving. A good test would be to have her carve the turkey, and if she starts crying while going back and forth over one drumstick for five minutes, you know she left too soon. (e!)

RED RIDING HOOD – is a new movie from the director of Twilight, and it’s about exactly what you think it’s about, and here’s the first trailer. My favorite part was when it ended! (apple)

MEGAN FOX – is so pretty she doesn’t need to wear makeup and she can still look fantastic. Here she is running some errands today in Beverly Hills, perhaps to complete the Kim Possible outfit that she started. (flynet)

Eva Longoria is getting a divorce

By brendon November 16, 2010 @ 5:14 PM


Hey, remember that post 5 minutes ago? This one. The answer is “yes”.

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are getting divorced … TMZ has learned.
Parker filed for divorce yesterday in Texas.
The “Desperate Housewives” actress and the San Antonio Spurs star married back in July of 2007.
Eva has stated that she has Tony’s initials tattooed on her body … in a mystery spot. She also has Tony’s jersey number — “Nine” — tattooed on the back of her neck.

Oh jesus christ. Look TMZ, if you dont have anything else relevant to the story, just stop typing, ok. Also, for the love of God would you please learn how to use an ellipses. Not everything deserves a … dramatic pause. The way you do that is really … god damn annoying. I can barely even read and even I know you’re fuckin that up.

CONFLICTING UPDATEor maybe she isn’t. “Longoria’s rep told E! News that (TMZ’s) report “is 100% false, Tony did NOT file for divorce from Eva.”

is Eva Longoria almost single?

By brendon November 16, 2010 @ 3:47 PM


E! says that Eva Longoria, who was once inseparable from her husband Tony Parker Longoria, is now very very separable. Is it because she wants me to stick it to her? Yes, probably.

Something is going on in Eva Longoria Parker’s world—and it doesn’t sound good.
Her camp is on lockdown and not talking. But here’s what we know:
Not only did Parker host the MTV EMA awards in Europe on Nov. 7, but four nights later she was in Vegas hosting last Thursday’s big Rock for the Cure benefit for the Nevada Cancer Institute.
And this coming Saturday, she was supposed to be one of the many celebs to appear at the taping of Anderson Cooper’s CNN Heroes of 2010 television special but she canceled over the weekend.
Could it have to do with husband Tony Parker and whispers that there’s trouble between them?

I didn’t really follow that to be honest with you. I’m not sure why hosting a few events mean there’s trouble in her marriage, but maybe this is the sort of thing where Malkin can’t say everything he knows. And I don’t really care to be honest with you. This bitch is gorgeous. If she’s single, I don’t care how it happened. That’s why I replaced Tonys vitamins with deadly poison!