EVA LONGORIA HATES SPURS FANS

Either Tony Parker looks like hell in the off season, or this dude pawing all over Eva Longoria on August 8th at the Hotel Roosevelt pool isnread more

Costner wants to 'guard' Jessica

Kevin Costner wants to make a sequel to the Bodyguard, with Jessica Simpson in the lead. And even though A Perfect World is a brilliant and strangely ignored film, and Silverado was perfect in every way, I feel compelled to point out that Costner as a hard ass was a stretch even 15 years ago. When he was 35. Heread more

WINONA WONT STOP STEALING

In 2002, Winona Ryder was convicted for shoplifting over 4000 dollars in clothes and merchandise from the Fred Segal store in Beverly Hills. And now, allegedly, she’s at it again. The source article for this seems to have been written a thousand years in the future when all languages on earth have melded into some insane gibberish, and since I can barely read to begin with, I’m basing this on a translation. "(Ryder)...read more

CASH WARREN IS PISSIN ME OFF

First of all, I'd like to mention how awesome it is that Jessica Alba drives a Jeep Cherokee. Her movie just broke a 17 week slump at the box office, she could drive a chariot led by white stallions if she wanted, but instead she drives an American SUV. It's nice to know that when I have sex with her, I'll slap her ass and it will sound like freedom. Secondly I'd like to point out that her boyfriend Cash Warren is a...read more

JESSICA TO FILE FOR DIVORCE

Between this site and other sites I've written for, I've probably written some version of that headline 50 dozen times. This latest version of the story broke last night on several sources, this summary comes from News America: "Jessica Simpson and Johnny Knoxville are going public. Johnny is leaving his wife, Simpson is filing for divorce - they are shopping the exclusive story to the weeklies under Joe Simpson's...read more

TOM CRUISE CANT GO TO PARIS

I'd sooner jack off in front of my parents than admit the United States could learn something from the French, so I'll pass on without comment this story about the city of Paris banning Tom Cruise: "The Paris city hall has pledged never to welcome the actor to the city of love - all because of his membership of the Church of Scientology. Like many other European governments, the French authorities view Scientology -...read more

EVA DATING TONY PARKER

I may be the only person on earth who hasnt had a shot at Eva Longoria in the past year. She's been linked with Keifer Sutherland, JC Chavez and even god-dammed Fez. Not to mention ex-husband, Tyler Christopher, who she didn't actually divorce until this past March. But now the website Contact Music is reporting: "Eva Longoria has finally confirmed she's dating Spurs point guard Tony Parker. The actress hit the gossip...read more

MARIAHS CLOTHES ARE FALLING OFF

From Contact Music: "Mariah Carey accidentally flashed her breasts at stunned fans during a TV show in Germany when her dress fell apart. But the red-faced superstar saw the funny side, quipping, "Someone bring me a jacket or the show's off, we all know how quickly these images can spread around the world." I only put this up to show off Mariah Carey's silver tongue for improv comedy, cause, somehow, remarkably, there...read more

THE TITANIUM AM-EX IS HERE

Good news if you're a pretentious jackass, American Express is now rolling out an ultra exclusive Titanium Card to slowly replace the invitation-only Black Card, currently the card of choice for such image paranoid idiots as Lindsay Lohan, Jay-Z and Sean Combs. The new card will have a 2,500 dollar annual fee and a minimum 250,000 dollars of required spending, but it comes with an unlimited credit line and members...read more

TOM CRUISE IS A CLOSER; GETS COFFEE

Stop me if you've heard this one before: 1) B-List actress who used to star in crappy WB drama falls out of the spotlight. C) Actress meets with Tom Cruise 7) Actress converts to Scientology. %) Actress now the lead in a hard to swallow work of fiction with leading man Tom Cruise! Ever since Keri Russell scored her plum supporting role in Mission Impossible III, the Felicity alumna has "suddenly become very...read more

BRITTANY MURPHY MAKES ME FEEL FUNNY

To the best of my knowledge, I've never had sex with Brittany Murphy. And I think I'd remember because a little of her seems to go a long way. She always seems to have that manic energy, and I don't care how hot her voice is, eventually I'd have to tell her to shut the hell up. But I admire the fact that's she's been on several USO tours in Iraq and she dates regular guys like you or your friend (not me though, I'm a...read more

FERGIE LOVES DRUGS

Female First UK is reporting that "Black Eyed Peas" singer/eye-candy Fergie admitted this week that she was addicted to hard core drugs up until just a few years ago. She claims she began taking Ecstasy in her 20s before her habit spun out of control and she started experimenting with harder narcotics. She confessed: "I stopped meeting the girls, broke up with a boyfriend and started going out and taking Ecstasy. I...read more

BRITNEY WANTS BABY TATOO

From Female First UK: "Britney Spears wants to get a tattoo of her child's name after she gives birth. The pregnant pop babe, who is expecting her first child with husband Kevin Federline in October, told viewers . that she wants the inscription done to commemorate becoming a mother. She said: 'I like the idea of the moment being captured forever'." You know that saying, "If you love someone, set them free. And if...read more

First look at Underworld 2

Some make-out worthy pictures of Kate Beckinsale from the sequel no one has been waiting for showed up online yesterday, and far be it for me to imply that Underworld 2 looks like a piece of crap or anything, but unless I can find a description that features the wordsread more

KATIE IS NOT TO BRIGHT

Ever heard of a little something called W magazine? Yeah, me neither. But apparently Katie Holmes is on the August cover, and youread more