friday morning headlines

HAYDEN PANETTIERE - is in Taiji, Japan (again) to protest the annual dolphin slaughter. Asians could argue they're the best race because of their contributions to science, engineering, architecture, and pussy, but they lose points for terrible music and INSAAANE... read more

jolie and pitt are in real trouble

Angelina Jolie is in Venice this week filming 'The Tourist' with Johnny Depp, and despite weekly reports for 4 years that they secretly hate each other, Brad Pitt is there too with all 6 of their kids. And yesterday Angelina and their daughter Vivienne (one of the twins... read more

so why did lindsay fall down

When Lindsay Lohan fell down Tuesday (pictures) during a night of partying that lasted until 5:30am, it wasn't really clear why she fell. Was she drunk again, or was it a simple accident that could happen to anyone? Well the Post thinks they know the answer, but I don't... read more

kelly bensimon and her bikini are not bad

Kelly Bensimon of the ‘Real Housewives of New York' was poolside in Miami today, and even though she's 41 if anyone says they wouldn't attack that ass like it just stole your wallet they're either a liar or a gay liar. I dated a girl who was 12 years older than me for a... read more

Now this is more like it

Victoria's Secret supermodels Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel were at the SLS Hotel in LA today to mark the 15th anniversary of the VS swimsuit catalog, but the star of the show was Alessandra Ambrosio, who is so insanely hot it doesn't even matter that she's flat... read more

and now we're up to 4

Sandra Bullock thanked Jesse James when she accepted her Academy Award three weeks ago, and he cried and smiled proudly, which made him look like a real scumbag in hindsight because it turns out he was banging some dirty whore the whole time. Wait did I say "whore"? I... read more

sandra bullock had no idea

As a third woman has now come out and admitted to having an affair with Jesse James while he was married to Sandra Bullock, People magazine is reporting that she was absolutely blind sided (see what I did there) by his infidelity, and truly had no idea there were... read more

hackjob squareass is back

Ke$ha has been in Australia all week, and yesterday she and her shapeless ass made their triumphant return to the beach. Which is amazing because if I looked like this at the beach I would fight someone to the death if they tried to drag me there. My blood would streak... read more

jennifer love chewit is an idiot

I'm sure everyone has already been to NPR today, but if you haven't, there's a review of Jennifer Love Hewitts advice book on dating. And it's every bit as dumb as it sounds. Keep in mind she just got dumped for like the 50th time. Nonetheless some masochist collected a... read more

grace park in a bikini ftmfw

I've said it a million times but Asian chicks are the fuckin best. They're little and skinny with long hair and really soft skin. If being a girl was an Olympic event, Asian girls would set the world record 35 times a day. ‘Battlestar Gallactica' star Grace Park, seen... read more

LeAnn Rimes and Tiger Woods? Sure, why not.

Porn star Devon James will be on Opie and Anthony tomorrow morning at 7:30 to talk about yesterdays claim that Tiger Woods paid her and another girl for sex in 2007. That other girl wasn't LeAnn Rimes though. She was way back in 2002. Us Weekly says... "(They) went out a... read more

ke$ha is kind of an idiot

Ke$ha should have worn this cloak yesterday when she was at the beach, and spared everyone from seeing her shapeless and confusing square ass. Instead she wore it today to appear on Merrick, Dools and Ricki Lee, which is a massively popular morning radio show syndicated... read more