MARIAH CAREY FORGOT SOMETHING

By brendon August 13, 2008 @ 8:15 AM

Since the dawn of time, man has yearned too see Mariah Careys giant breasts, and now, thanks to the miracle of photography and her time on a Snoop video, we're as close as we have ever been.  What an age is this, where new miracles happen everyday.

(more pictures over here)

PARIS HILTON GOT SUED. AGAIN.

By brendon August 13, 2008 @ 6:48 AM

In 2006, Paris Hilton starred in a movie called "National Lampoon's Pledge This!"  It currently ranks as the 15th worst movie of all time on IMDb.  If you somehow never even heard of this POS, you’re not alone, and now the producers are suing Hilton because of that fact.  OK magazine says…

Worldwide Entertainment Group, the company behind the movie, is suing the celebutante for $75,000 because they claim she did not fulfill the "reasonable promotion and publicity" part of her agreement. The hotel heiress, who recently starred in the similarly dismal The Hottie & the Nottie, was paid $1 million to appear in and "executive produce" it — not a bad deal considering the film barely managed to gross that much in global ticket sales and never even had a U.S. release.

I hope the producers lose because they deserve it for even hiring Paris Hilton.  If you’re dumb enough to work with her you deserve what you get.  Oh, gee, she fucked everything up, no way.  That is truly shocking.  That she showed up at all is the miracle of our times.  Her doing press afterwards would have been an achievement on par with the harnessing of fire.

MARIS TOMEI LOOKS FANTASTIC

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 1:17 PM

The first stills are being released showing Marisa Tomei as a stripper in the movie "The Wrestler", directed by Darren Aronofsky.  She looks amazing for a 43 year old.  I just hope she gets naked.  I hate movies about strippers where the strippers don’t strip.  Why even have her be a stripper?  Say she's a Dinosaur Hunter or a sexy catburglar who sneaks in and gives her unsuspecting victims a blowjob.  If she’s not gonna do it, might as well make it interesting.

LIKE IT NEVER EVEN HAPPENED

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 1:16 PM

Yesterday Hayden Panettieres dad was arrested for domestic violence after he reportedly struck his wife, Haydens mom, in the face.  TMZ reported there were photographs taken by police showing visible marks.  Oh but guess what, apparently it was all a dream.  Extra says…

Lesley and Alan told Mario Lopez, "Nothing actually happened." Explained Mario, "In fact, Lesley wasn't even aware that Skip had been arrested. Hayden found out about her dad's arrest when he called her from jail. They love each other very much and want everyone to know that the matter was completely blown out of proportion."

Mario Lopez is the new host for Extra by the way.  He brings his years of reporting excellence to the already esteemed panel they have, and he knows a cover-up when he sees one.  So if he says nothing happened, mark it down, nothing happened.  Don’t think too much about the part where she says she didn’t know her husband got arrested at 3am.  It's not weird at all that she would go to bed and not know if her husband was there or not.  Maybe she has an Alan-shaped alarm clock and confused him for that.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? KILLING SOMEONE.

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 7:54 AM

If you hadn’t heard, an actor named Shelley Malil stabbed his ex-girlfriend to death yesterday at her home near San Diego. The story is he went by her home, saw her in the backyard with another guy, then picked up a knife and stabbed her while her two children were asleep in the house. Malil was best known for a supporting role in "The 40-year-old Virgin", but also for that Budweiser ad up above. He’s “Chad”.  According to his IMDb profile, he was involved with Big Brother, a mentoring program for kids without parents.  So it's possible he just misunderstood what they wanted.  They said, "we need kids without parents", and he said, "I'm on it".

UPDATE – either that chick came back to life or i misread the original reports.  either way she's not dead. 



GWEN STEFANI IS RIDICULOUSLY PREGNANT

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 7:36 AM

Gwen Stefani has somehow doubled in size since getting pregnant.  I’ve never seen anything quite like it.  Transformers don’t change this much.  I have to assume women just use this as an excuse to eat their asses off, unless this kid weights 95 pounds, which I suppose is possible based on this picture.  I can’t remember anyone ever being more pregnant than this.  I think there might have been one in the bible. 

(picture source = inf daily)



SEXUAL PREDATOR CHRISTMAS

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 6:58 AM

These pictures of Selena Gomez in a bikini at the beach yesterday are ridiculously low quality, but the conditions of my parole forbid me from posting better ones.  No not really.  Think of it as gods will, since you’re not supposed to be looking at wet 16-year-olds anyway.  Pervert.  

(high quality on the way of course, should be up soon)



BRITNEY LOOKS CUTE

By brendon August 12, 2008 @ 6:17 AM

These promotional videos (the other one here) for the VMA Awards make Britney look better than she has in years. She seems normal and sort of charming again. I’m not sure how the director accomplished this, but I’m pretty sure it involved 50 days of editing and magic.