Kendall Jenner wants Justin Bieber. Sort of.

By brendon September 02, 2011 @ 12:57 PM


Now that Kim Kardashian is married and boring since she won’t be doing any more whoring around, it’s time for pimp family matriarch Kris Kardashian to cast aside that dead weight and start compromising the principles of the kids who can still make her some money.

And what better way than to hook one up with effeminate wussy Justin Bieber. Star says…

Kris “desperately wants Kendall to become as famous as her superstar sisters, and she’s pushing for her to date Justin to help make that happen,” a source reveals. And the momager isn’t bothered by the teen singer’s not-so- single status. “She doesn’t care that he is dating Selena Gomez,” the source adds.

Kim Kardashian is even trying to set up her model half-sister. “Kim invited Justin to her wedding in an attempt to play matchmaker,” the source says. And the clever bride even made sure that the Biebs, 17, would be conveniently without a plus one on the big day — and free to mingle with Kendall without girlfriend Selena standing in the way. “They try very hard to keep the Kardashian name in the spotlight,” the source says.

Well at least they picked someone none threatening. If that little queer ever tried to get Kendall out of her dress it would only be so he could try it on.

its Imogen Thomas in a bikini, plus Site News!

By brendon September 02, 2011 @ 12:01 PM


UK model Imogen Thomas is in Marbella, Spain, today to finish up her 2012 calendar by taking pictures of her in and then not in a bikini. It’s a good thing only girls have boobs. If the sun had tits this fantastic I’d be blind after spending ages 12 through Now staring directly into it.

Speaking of glorious human achievements; this website! I know things have been a little stagnant and slow lately, but it’s not because I’m lazy. It’s not entirely because I’m lazy. Okay it’s because I’m lazy. Oh what, like you’re so great? GET OFF MY BACK! But it’s also because I’ve been trying to reinvent the page, to add way more content, make it easier to navigate and look at celebrity boobs, but with all the same mean spirited whining you’ve come to expect.

As part of that process I spent all day yesterday in the LA offices of the giant faceless entity that owns the site, and after apologizing to everyone I’ve ever worked with for being an intractable dickhead prone to temper tantrums when I don’t get my way, everything was basically set up and laid out to make the site a billion times better. So please bear with me. Or “bare” with me, whichever one it is. I’m sure someone will go on my twitter and correct me. Which I’ll ignore. Go hump your dictionary if you love it so much, jackass.

(image source = splash and pacific coast)

this fat girl is nothing but a trouble maker

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 4:45 PM


“Chaz” Bono was of course named as one of the contestants on this seasons ‘Dancing With The Stars’, and there’s been nothing but controversy about it ever since. Which is obviously exactly what the producers wanted when they choose someone who is morbidly obese and would have a heart attack after a long conversation much less a dance class.

USA Today says..

Dancing fans have posted both supportive and unsupportive comments about Chaz. One used the word “disgusting” Another wrote: “I never and mean NEVER watch DWTS but will this season to support/vote for (Chaz).”
One Million Moms, a group whose goal is to fight the “filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media,” is urging people to “Email ABC Network and let them know that we will not tolerate these subjects being forced into our homes.” A note on the group’s site says the casting of Chaz Bono and Carson Kressley “is completely unacceptable and Christians should not watch the show, no excuses!”

I hope those people realize they’re not helping their cause any because they sound just as dumb as the people defending “Chaz”. If she wants to tell everyone she’s a boy now, I don’t really give a fuck. She can call herself King of the Dinosaurs and only speak by saying “rawr rawr” for all I care, I just don’t think I should be forced to play along with titles bestowed upon her by the voices in her head.

And she still doesn’t have a penis, so I’m not even really sure what’s changed. Facial hair doesn’t make someone a boy. It probably just means she’s Italian.

Oscar De La Hoya finally admits to the drag pictures

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 1:29 PM


Oscar De la Hoya went to rehab for drug and alcohol addiction back in May, and now that he’s sober he says he’s tired of lying about his past, including the famous pictures of him in drag that surfaced in 2007. At the time he said it wasn’t him, which is weird because it’s a picture, I’m looking right at you Oscar, that’s you, but now the New York Post cites a new interview he’s done with Univision, and they say…

“Let me to tell you, yes, yes, it was me [in those pictures],” he said.
The pictures also showed the bizarrely dressed boxer frolicking with Siberian knockout Milana Dravnel.
“I am tired now of lying, of lying to the public and of lying to myself.”
He said he was high on booze and cocaine when the racy photos were snapped.

And even more awesomely…

De La Hoya shelled out a whopping $20 million to Dravnel to go away. The deal also called for her to give back the heels, lingerie and fishnets that she kept after their kinky photo session.
The cross-dressing photos sent De La Hoya into a tailspin, and he thought about throwing in the towel — permanently.
“One of these nights when I was drunk and alone again, I asked myself, ‘Is it worth it to be alive?’

Jeez if he was that depressed he should have just moved to a white community. Because of the insane culture gap he could have just said wearing stilettos and a pink cowboy hat was a Latin religious thing and we never would known the difference.

Rihanna just fired Jay Z

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 12:57 PM


Media Take Out, which I think of as the black TMZ because I’m racist, says today that things are about to get very ugly and very public between Rihanna and Jay Z, because she’s about to fire his RocNation management firm, then sue them.

She reportedly first considered this back in April because she felt they were favoring Beyonce–who is married to Jay Z–when it came to endorsement deals and song writers, and because she felt they were forcing too many other RocNation clients on to her to get them exposure. She then reconsidered, but the announcement of Beyonces pregnancy has seemingly changed her mind again, and now MTO says…

Her first step in breaking free – Rihanna has launched a MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR LAWSUIT against her “official” RocNation manager, Jay Brown’s sister.
Rihanna claims that Jay’s sister DEFRAUDED her.

I’m in LA for a few days and I forgot how many God damn billboards they have for movies and TV shows. They’re everywhere. You can’t go 30 seconds without seeing one, which is annoying because every non-Mexican in this town is here to work in movies and TV. We get it, ok. Everyone knows about ‘Drive’ and ‘Whitney‘ and all that other shit so stop already with the endless billboards. What do you want from me, I can only watch one thing at a time, I’m not gonna bring a TV to the movies if that’s what you’re hinting at. And yeah I realize this has nothing to do with Rihanna, but that story was about Jay Z being a criminal. Oohh, gee you don’t say. I haven’t seen all the facts yet but yeah he did it, he’s guilty. I don’t know what he’s guilty of exactly but I’m sure it’s somethin.

(image source = wenn)

Marc Anthony says he didnt cheat on Henifaa Yopez

By brendon September 01, 2011 @ 11:24 AM


From the moment that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced that they were ending their 7 year marriage, there have been rumors that it was because Anthony was cheating. Most notably with Jada Pinkett, which reportedly ended her marriage to Will Smith. This all seems reasonable because Jennifer Lopez is a mean bitch and everyone hates her, but he tells ABC News the real reason for the divorce was way less interesting.

“I’ll tell you that it wasn’t something sensationalistic happening,” Anthony said.
Although tabloids claimed that he broke up their 7-year-old marriage with affairs, Anthony says, “absolutely not.” The reason for their break-up, he says, was much simpler. Their marriage just no longer “worked.”
“It was a realization on both our parts. So you know it wasn’t shocking. These things happen,” he said. ”It was a decision that we made jointly.”
“This is not a funeral. this is not a burial. This is just two people who came together and just realized — and so I’m saying that it wasn’t sustainable the way it was, and that’s that.”

Interesting choice of words, because there would very definitely have been a funeral and a burial if I were married to that cunt for 7 years. At the very least I’d cheat on her constantly just to stay sane. I’d go to Puerto Rico or wherever it is she’s from and get a new prostitute with a big ass every night and call her Jennifer and choke the hell out of her.

Oh crap, is this being published? I should probably re-write that last part.

Alyssa Milano looks different

By brendon August 31, 2011 @ 2:57 PM


Alyssa Milano went to a spa in LA earlier today, probably because she needed a massage from carrying around what looks to be a 6 foot tall baby. She announced she was pregnant at the end of February, so she’s probably due any day, but holy christ. Her vagina is gonna look like someone set off M-80′s inside of it.

(image source = pacific coast)

seriously, fuck you George Lucas

By brendon August 31, 2011 @ 2:40 PM

In what may be the best argument ever for illegally downloading movies, George Lucas is finally releasing all 6 Star Wars titles on blu-ray, because there’s still a few dollars for him to steal from his fans. And of course because he has no idea what he’s doing or what made the movies good to begin with, he’s also “updated” some of the scenes.

As aintitcool, via badass digest, says…

this is confirmed… yes, Vader says “No!” as he picks the Emperor up.  This is yet another change in the Original Trilogy.
It was already such a perfect moment.  As Luke, dying under the Emperor’s torrent of force lightning, calls out to his father to help him, Vader stares quietly, looks at his son, then at the Emperor, and makes his decision.  And he DOESN”T FUCKING SAY A THING.  That’s what makes it so powerful.  You could almost see the thought process behind the mask, as Vader slowly comes out of the fog of 20+ years of evil.  It’s a grand, amazing moment and the pinnacle of the trilogy, in my opinion.
And George Lucas just ruined it.

Very obviously George Lucas is a complete moron who simply lucked his way into this franchise because there were talented people around him and everything good about the first two movies were someone else’s idea that he hated but the studio made him use. I’m amazed we even still have James Earl Jones on here, and that Lucas didn’t replace him with Eddie Griffin or someone like that, so Darth Vader can say things like, “where my big girls girls at?”