The teaser trailer for ‘Spiderman 3′, due to hit screens in front of ‘Superman’ tomorrow, has been leaked on youtube, and the quality is everything you might expect from a bootleg trailer shot on camcorder and then loaded onto youtube. Meaning you’re almost certain to have a seizure. You could draw a Spiderman on the corner of every page of your notebook and then do that flippy thing and it would be about the same. So if you watch the youtube clip, you get the first glimpse of Venom and Sandman destroying stuff, but if you do the notebook flippy thing, you can have Spiderman with long dark hair and a big rack. Ohh, and maybe Asian, that would be hot. And he would be a she. And taking off her bra. And then riding a horse. In hindsight I have to admit the flippy notebook version wouldn’t be very similar to Spiderman at all.

update – The teaser is now up on quicktime. Thanks to whoever wrote in to tell me that before Gmail was nice enough to decide I didn’t want that email any more and deleted it.


I’m sure very few noticed and ever fewer cared, but the page got off to a pretty late start today, mainly due to pirates trying to steal my treasure and the insatiable sexual demands of the supermodels on my bed. And also our ISP died. But mostly the pirates and models.


Fox 411 today answers a question that has haunted man since the dawn of time, namely, why hasn’t the public seen any pictures of Suri Cruise, the new daughter of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. To compare, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was born May 27th, and the first pictures arrived just about two weeks later. Suri was born almost a month and a half earlier, on April 18th, and no one has seen a picture or really even any proof she exists. Fox says:

“here is part of the answer: No one wanted to pay for her. According to my sources, a photo shoot of Suri was offered to Wire Image, the prestigious agency, for sale to the various celebrity magazines right after (she was born). Unfortunately, it must have felt like two cents to Cruise given the (4 million dollars) that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt fetched from People … The Cruise auction is said to have produced not more than a $3 million bid. At that point, the offer was rescinded.”

Considering every baby looks almost exactly the same, I don’t know why anyone even offered them 3 million. When I heard People offered Jolie 4 I assumed it was because the baby turned out to be black or something. Or could fly. Or one of the pics had Brad hitting her with a shoe.



Source = Fox 411


It’s old news by now that Reese Witherspoon is suing Star magazine for splashing a headline across their mag saying that she’s pregnant. I wasn’t entirely aware that was scandalous, but the magazine claims that Reese is unwilling to tell producers that she is pregnant and has been hiding her body under “1920s-style swimsuits, baggy clothing and Empire-waist dresses.” Resse says this hurt her reputation as it implies she is dishonest with her employers. But, whatever, the point to all this is that she sure as hell doesn’t look pregnant, at least not in these pictures in Malibu last week, while wearing what I’ve been led to believe is a 1920′s style swimsuit. And if you don’t look pregnant, then you’re not pregnant. At least that’s what I tell the models. They usually make up some sciencey sounding stuff about “not showing during the first month” or whatever, but then I move and change my phone number and everything seems to work out.

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Source = Rueters


This is apparently news to Britney Spears, but if you go on national TV and do an interview, and you’re pregnant, and dressed like a tramp in uncomfortably small cut off shorts and smeared lipstick and smacking your gum for an hour, and are just a fug little piggy in general, people are gonna hate you. As they now do with Britney ever since her train wreck of an interview with Matt Lauer Thursday night. A poll taken by Us Weekly said 87 percent of the people who watched it had less respect for Britney Spears after the interview. So what to do? Page Six says:

“So she attempted damage control. Spears had a photographer take pretty pictures of her – this time with professional hair, makeup and wardrobe. And despite tearfully begging for privacy, saying she hates media attention, and calling the celebrity weeklies “trash” in the interview, Spears then tried to sell the photos and an “exclusive” interview to those same trashy weeklies for $200,000. There were no takers. OK! finally bought the shots and the interview for a measly $5,000.”

Well the pictures below are the before and after, and if Britney is fooled by her own master disguise, she’s even dumber than I thought. You could stick a handlebar mustache on her kid while he’s still in her arms and she would think he disappeared. “Aaahh, where my little’n at! Who dis is?”

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Source = Page Six


The rumor was that Beyonce and Jay Z had secretly split up, but they seemed amicable enough last night in concert at Radio City Music Hall. Actually it’s not clear if they have broken up or have agreed to break up. Whatever the hell that means. But sources say that Beyonce is tired of Jays lifestyle. She wants more time at home trying to start a family, less time at Def Jam and Nets games. It would also be delightful if Jay spent less time with teen superhottie Rihanna, a singer on the Def Jam label who Jay has had at least three private dinners with in New York, not to mention countless phone calls and “business” meetings, all while Beyonce was off filming ‘Dreamgirls’. A Source says:

“It has simply become too much. Beyonce realized that two of them just might be incompatible and their relationship is really a lie they both were trying to believe in.”

Uhh, in Jays defense, he’s a fuckin rap guy. Of course he’s gonna drink Louis XIII all night, go to basketball games and nail teen ass. What did you think he was gonna do, read ‘the Velveteen Rabbit’ to orphans in thier sleeping caps as they went to bed.

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As expected, Nicole Kidman got married Saturday to Keith Urban in a suburb of Sydney, Australia. What was not expected was that she would be whiter than the damn dress. You could dig someone up out of the ground and they would look healthier than Nicole Kidman. Albinos with leukemia have more of a glow than she does. I would think the church was haunted if I walked in and saw this, and then run away screaming. Probably not what they had in mind.

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The new Jessica Simpson single broke just about an hour ago, and if you loved ‘Holiday’ by Madonna 45 years ago, and you’re an idiot, you’re sure to love this. As for the rest of us, it’s sonically offensive. No one loves Jessica more than I do, I don’t think anyone is here to argue that, but god this is just dreadful. Making matters worse is that god damn Ken Paves is even on the cover of her single. Jesus Christ, enough already. He’s a stylist, he takes a super hot chick with a kick ass rack, consistently makes her look like absolute hell, and not only is he not fired and beaten, but he somehow becomes the best friend she can’t be without. That’s like making fire your best friend after it burned 90 percent of your body.



You can listen to ‘Public Affair’ by Jessica Simpson here, but I don’t advise it. And click on the banner pic above for a full size version of the single cover, courtesy of sweetkisses.net.

There was also talk today that Jessica got a nose job recently, based mostly on the first three pictures above of her leaving Mr. Chows in Beverly Hills Wednesday, but the last two pictures were taken just about 10 hours earlier, and her nose looks anything but surgically repaired.