Isla can’t take a hint

By brendon June 16, 2009 @ 11:20 AM

57695874

Between the red hair, awesome rack and super hot accent, I can’t tell you how happy it would make me to have sex with Isla Fisher. Which is why these pictures are so uncomfortable. I can’t remember the details, but I know she used to be in a relationship with Bruno. I think they even had a baby. And yesterday she followed him all the way to Paris for the premiere of his movie. But, I mean Jesus woman open your eyes. I’m not sure how much more clear he can make it.  It’s over, he’s moved on, and he’s not coming back. No offense but you’re kind of makin an ass out of yourself.

(18 more pics = here.  hq jump = here.  image source = getty and wenn.  UPDATE – bonus isla adorableness here)

Oh thank God

By brendon June 16, 2009 @ 8:41 AM

Entourage is completely fucking moronic and always has been, and it’s with no small amount of pride that I can go back three years and point out my saying so. So needless to say this video from College Humor is a welcome sight. I’d rather watch a team of teenage cheerleaders giggling while they point at my penis than 30 seconds of Entourage.

Morning headlines

By brendon June 16, 2009 @ 7:22 AM

EXCLUSIVE:  Megan Fox Gets Naked on Jennifers Body in BC (USA an

KATIE HOLMES – taped a guest appearance on So You Think You Can Dance yesterday, and yes she will be dancing.   In fact a source said: “She is killing it. She looks incredible. Everyone is absolutely floored by how talented she is.”  Then the source was asked his name, and he said, “Tom, wait, um, yes, T-Tom … Cru … Crew … Sing … Ton … Berg.  Tom Crusingtonberg.  Yes, yes that will do.”  (source = us)

WILL SMITH – and his wife Jada often sneak off during parties or pull over on the side of the road to have sex.  Well big deal so do I.  Wait.  Oh they probably mean with a partner.  Never mind.  I’m so lonely!  (source – imdb)

MEGAN FOX – was photographed topless on the set of Jennifers Body in May of last year, so I have no idea why the always great Daily News is making a big deal out of that today, but as it turns out I also don’t care.  Look, tits!   (source = new york daily news)

Robert Pattinson is very popular

By brendon June 16, 2009 @ 5:57 AM

99spl106839_005

These pictures of Robert Pattinson, getting mobbed by fans on the streets of NYC on the way to the set of Remember Me, sure do bring back memories. I’ve been in the middle of this same kind of thing. And by that I mean I was one of the ones mobbing him. I was hoping to steal a smooch in all the commotion. More like Robert Hot-inson, am I right!

(11 more pics = here.  hq jump = here.   image source = splash.   I do feel compelled to mention that he seems pretty cool about all this. I doubt Jessica Alba would still be smiling and posing for fan pics if you just dry-humped her down the street. At best I’ve seen 90 seconds of Twilight but he seemed okay. Him, James Marsden, Timothy Olyphant. I could deal with that for the next ten years or so. Actually Olyphant better be a big star because that dude is cool. And a good actor. You could saw Mark Wahlberg in half and he couldn’t even act like he was dying, yet he makes 800m a year while no one even knows how to say Olyphants name. Go fuck yourself, Hollywood.)

It’s Megan Fox time!

By brendon June 16, 2009 @ 4:58 AM

57694931

More awesome pictures now of Megan Fox on the world tour to premiere Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  These are from the UK.  They we’re in Berlin and Amsterdam the day before. I think they hit New York tomorrow but I’m not sure.  I suppose I could ask her but I’ve been ducking her calls ever since she missed her period. I am just not ready to be tied down right now.

(19 more pictures = here.   hq jump = here.   image source = getty)

Lindsay is stealing again (update)

By brendon June 15, 2009 @ 2:41 PM

1ll12507625

In April of 07, Lindsay Lohan was accused of stealing over 10,000 dollars in clothes and jewelry from model Lauren Hastings while Hastings was working in Europe and a mutual friend was house sitting (source). In August of that same year, she stole some clothes on loan from Louis Vuitton for an Elle magazine photo shoot (source). Seven months later she was photographed leaving a party wearing an 11,000 fur coat that didn’t belong to her (source). Okay so now try and guess where this story is headed…

Lindsay Lohan is at the center of a London police investigation in connection with the theft of jewelry from a magazine photo shoot. The actress was in the English capital recently, when she posed for an upcoming spread in fashion glossy Elle, according to sources. An insider (says), “She kept going on about the jewels, asking if she could have them. We all thought she was joking.” The jewelers realized the $45,000 (GBP30,000) worth of bling was missing after the shoot and contacted magazine bosses, who insisted they had no knowledge of what had become of the gems.

Let’s just fast forward two weeks when this international jewel thief is finally confronted by her nemesis at Interpol.

“Why do you think I took those rings?”
“You’re wearing one right now.”
(Lindsay quickly puts both hands behind her back, her shoulders begin to rock back and forth) “No I’m not.”
“Yes you are.”
“No I am not.”
“I saw it.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes.”
“Is that what you think?”
“Yes.”
“That I’m wearing one of the rings?”
“Yes.”
“Right now?”
“Yes.”
“A stolen ring?”
“Yes.”
“That I’m wearing a stolen ring?  That’s what you think?”
“Yes.”
“Well … I’ve got … news for you … detective … because…
Lindsay pulls both hands from behind her back and holds them up.
“…I’m not even wearing a ring.”
The detective points to her hand.
“Yes you are.”
“Oh crap that was the wrong one.”

SEXY UPDATE
– now with more freckled bony hotness, thx to the pic Lindsay put on twitter about an hour ago (full size here)

The Pussycat Dolls are close

By brendon June 15, 2009 @ 12:13 PM

SPL106768_002

You often hear that the Pussycat Dolls don’t get along and there’s jealousy towards Nicole, but in Hawaii this weekend Nicole hit the beach right along with The Black One and another one we’ll call “Kelly”, so things can’t be that bad. I should make it clear that the white ones name might not be Kelly. I suppose it’s possible, but I don’t feel like looking it up. Does anyone know the other names? Does anyone care? I certainly don’t, in case you hadn’t picked up on that.

(image source = splash exclusives.  hq jump = here)

Audrina is the only one

By brendon June 15, 2009 @ 11:26 AM

SPL106855_018

Splash News has exclusive pics of Audrina Patridge in Mexico, and it’s a clear reminder that she’s the only person from the Hills ever worth mentioning. Because while all of them are completely worthless, she’s at least worthless while having huge tits.  Often in a bikini.

It really is astounding that MTV has had the balls to run that piece of shit show for 3 years or whatever it’s been.  There has to be a simpler, more direct way of telling the viewers to fuck off.  Like mailing them a pistol and telling them to kill themselves.

(image source = splash.  hq jump = here)