Posh is a hot little bitch

By brendon June 10, 2009 @ 7:15 AM

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I know none of the cool kids still think Posh is hot, but I didn’t get to be the silverback of bloggers by doing what everyone else does.  She’s fuckin terrific.  Yesterday a see-thru shirt, the day before shorts cut so high they wouldn’t be street legal over here.  The only thing I don’t like here is that the nerd in the purple tie almost put his hands on my pretend-girlfriend.  Purple Tie Wearing Nerd, you’ve just made yourself a powerful new enemy.

(image source = splash news. hq jump = here)

Wednesday morning headlines

By brendon June 10, 2009 @ 5:03 AM

Riley Steele, Kelly Brook

KENDRA WILKINSON -  has confirmed to E! that she’s pregnant.  Which sucks.  I should have been told in person.  The father has rights too!  (source = e! online)

IRON MAN 2 – The first picture of Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2 has been released. Rourke plays Whiplash, and he has a suit sort of like Iron Mans, except he adds whips and takes away any protection whatsoever.  He’s unstoppable, unless he were to run into the real Iron Man, or any normal police officer with a gun, or anyone with the flu.  (source = USA Today)

KELLY BROOK – a few of these pictures we’re on here Monday, but most are new, they’re all better quality and there’s now 100 percent more naked breast (BAM).  These of course are from the set of Piranha 3D.   I don’t like when horror movies do this kind of thing, because I end up with an erection while someone gets ripped apart.   There’s no way that’s mentally healthy.  (hq jump = here)

Demi Lovato is a big star

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 2:05 PM

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I’ve been led to believe that Demi Lovato is either a big deal or will be a big deal. I know she’s BFF with the uncomfortably attractive Selena Gomez, and Selena is often called the next Miley Cyrus. Because of that Demi and Selena often fight with the current Miley Cyrus, Miley Cyrus. Anyway, that’s Demi in a bikini in the Bahamas over the weekend. I’m scared to even look up how old she isn’t, but even that has an advantage because boys her age probably still wet the bed and sleep with the lights on, and I don’t mean to brag but I haven’t done that in over 2 years. So chalk one up for me.

(image source = demi lovato daily. hq jump = here)

Better Y/N?

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 11:24 AM

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Kim Kardashian went on her twitter (here) right after Ken Paves chopped off all her hair this morning, and she looks good (she almost looks like Christy Turlington, who is fantastic), but we only see her face. Her ass. How is short hair gonna work with that big ass of hers? These unscrupulous photos prove nothing. It would be like showing pictures of a mermaid with a new hat. Point down. That’s why you’re famous, show the bottom half or don’t post at all.  (UPDATE – aww god dammit.  okay so its a wig.)

(bigger and a second pic here and here)

Leonardo DiCaprio is single

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 10:43 AM

Bar Rafaeli

This is either coincidence or my offering to satan in the woods this morning was accepted, but People.com says that Bar Rafaeli is back on the market because she and Leonardo DiCaprio have kinda-sorta broken up.

“They’re taking time off for the time being, they’ve split,” says a source. “It could just end up as a break but for now they’re doing their own thing.”
That much was certainly apparent over the weekend as the Israeli-born Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, 23, walked the red carpet at Hollywood Life’s 11th Annual Young Hollywood Awards solo, refusing to speak about DiCaprio, while the Titanic star, 34, hit the hotspot Avenue in New York City, where he was seen chatting with another woman.
According to a Refaeli source, the model’s desire to get serious may have caused the actor to have doubts about their relationship. “She wanted to move faster than he did, she wanted to move in together,” the source says, “so he broke it off.”

I like my odds.  Leonardo may be handsome and super rich and universally respected and the only actor today you could mention with Brando or Newman at the same age, but I’ve got quite a lot to offer as well.  Like that movie prop for example, and unlimited calling to Mexico and Canada.  Oh yes.  You heard right.  Unlimited.  No limits.  Even all night long, baby.  Shall I get you a chair, Bar, and may I tempt you with something to wet your lips?  A capri sun if you like, or perhaps the lady care for some tap water?

(i can’t remember where bar was in these pics.  does it even matter.   hq jump = here)

Oh dear god yes

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 8:34 AM

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Jessica Simpson did nothing but walk around NYC last night, but she did it with her long golden locks dropping down on a slimming black dress and a push up bra, and at one point it kinda looked like she was feeling her own awesomely huge breast, so for today it’s the worlds most important story.  Now I’m gonna wash down a bottle of roofies with a quart of vodka and then get a horse to kick me in the head in hopes I can forget all about her fat phase from last month.   It’s extreme, but so was the amount of pressure on the seams of her Daisy Dukes.

(image source = splash. hq jump = here)

Pointless nudity is here to help

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 7:36 AM

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To erase the memory of my self-indulgent whoring, here’s Israeli actress Meital Dohan as the ocean thankfully yanked her top down off the beaches of St. Barths. I have no idea who she is, and her chest ins’t that great, but I admire the way she doesn’t mind her bikini bottom (not a thong, btw) sticking to her ass crack like the two were bonded that way with cement.  Average looking girls make up a lot of ground quickly if they don’t mind random things being shoved up their ass.

(image source = fame. hq jump = here)

Morning Headlines

By brendon June 09, 2009 @ 6:42 AM

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RUSSELL CROWE – has worked with director Ridley Scott 4 times already, but things are not going so well on the set of their untitled Robin Hood project. “The producers had to fly to London because Russell and Ridley won’t talk to each other. Every time they stop filming, it costs the production millions of dollars.” The movie has a budget of 175m already but it will likely go way over that. Which is all you need to know about Hollywood. Filming 90 minutes of guys in the woods with bows and arrows made of sticks can somehow cost more than a 6 month vacation on the moon. (source = Page Six)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is apparently back on with Samantha RonOH MY FUCKING GOD these two are so boring. (source = Sun UK)

HOW COOL IS THIS – even though every third word on this page is “I” or “me”, I don’t actually talk about myself on here because unlike some I don’t feel my website is my personal fucking diary and promotion machine, but how cool is that banner picture? That is it my friends. The actual bar of soap Brad Pitt holds in the Fight Club promos and the image we tricked for the website header. I got it thanks to a heads up from Tim Sykes, who I wanted to thank publicly. It’s actually aluminum and weighs about two pounds. It’s silver obviously and not pink because when they made pink ones the font didn’t show up in the pics. So they made this and photoshopped the color later. (other pics here and here and here)