lindsay lohan has 12 days left

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 4:07 PM

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Lindsay Lohan used a fake Birkin that she found in the trash to hide her face while stopping at an art supply store last night. Maybe she wants to make a scrapbook before she goes to jail, to organize pictures of her and her family and chronicle her time in the spotlight, which would probably also include pictures of all the guys whos sperm she’s swallowed. Better buy two, Lindsay.

(source = splash news online)

jwoww is legitimately hot

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 1:37 PM

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‘Jersey Shore’ has obviously run it’s course and no one cares anymore, so I bet JWoww would be really honored to know that I would still do it with her. She and Snooki (image not available) stopped by Sirius and talked about season 2 of the show, but much more importantly J wore clothes that clung to her kickass rack and someone took pictures. She needs to remember though that if your hands aren’t turning purple, your clothes aren’t tight enough. Make up your mind, do you wanna be famous or not?

mel gibson told oksana he’d bury her in his garden

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 12:37 PM

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Mel Gibson has gotten a lot of bad press lately, but finally someone is saying something nice about him. Turns out he made a promise to his girlfriend that he would bury her in their rose garden after she passed away. It’s kind of sweet really, that he would want to keep her so close. And girls go crazy about roses.

Wait, I might not be understanding this. Radar says…

“Mel made a series of serious and violent threats against Oksana,” a source, with direct knowledge of the situation, told RadarOnline.com.
“When things in their relationship started going badly and he made the first threats against her, Oksana decided she needed to protect herself.
“She made the recordings and on one of them, Mel is heard telling Oksana, ‘I will bury you in the rose garden,’ which she believed to be a clear reference to killing her.”

The big question now is will this hurt Mels career. These days, even if you only punch a woman in the face, knock her teeth out, threaten to burn her house down, threaten to kill her, call Mexicans wetbacks, call black people niggers, imply black people prowl the streets in packs looking to rape white woman, drive drunk, and verbally abuse police one time, suddenly you get labeled as a “bad guy”.

lady gaga was on the today show in the rain

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 11:26 AM

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Lady Gaga performed on the Today Show this morning as part of the Toyota concert series, because nothing says shocking nonconformist like performing on the Today Show in between commercials where Toyota apologizes for their brakes not working and killing a bunch of people. What sick bastard thought ‘moving forward’ should be the new Toyota slogan, btw. Wasn’t that the entire problem. People couldn’t stop the cars from moving forward, even if they really really wanted to. They were moving forward off the side of the road at 200 miles per hour. ‘Our cars stop when you tell them too now’ would be a better slogan. ‘We’ve stopped murdering customers’. Literally, anything on earth, any combination of words except for ‘moving’ and ‘forward’.

Anyway, Lady Gaga. Oh and it was raining really hard. Fascinating, huh.

did mel gibson beat up this girl too?

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 10:06 AM

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Violet Kowal is the porn star from Poland who says Mel Gibson had an affair with her while his girlfriend, whom he had an affair with while married, was pregnant. And since Mel Gibson is reportedly a violent sociopath, In Touch asked her if he ever got violent with her too. Spoiler Alert: Yes. Sort of.

“His threats scared me so badly,” Violet tells In Touch, “I left town and went into hiding for almost a month.”
“I agreed to go visit him at his Malibu compound,” she explains. The two had sex for the first time, though Violet was uneasy. “He didn’t want to use protection, but I insisted,” she says. “He seemed paranoid and anxious. He chain-smoked before and after we had sex. It was weird.”
“He would get very aggressive and angry if I was not available,” she explains, “even yelling and demanding to come to my home when I refused to see him.”

Mel’s mistake was thinking these foreigners would be too scared or naive to rat him out. Why didn’t he just keep a sex slave in a coffin downstairs like normal people? I could have asked mine if she had any single friends. This Mel is a real weirdo.

Ashley Greene was hot

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 6:03 PM

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New York City is in the middle of a heat wave, with temperatures in Central Park reaching 103 degrees on Tuesday and 101 yesterday, but Ashley Greene defines courage, so she went for a walk anyway. One thing that helped her stay cool was pulling up her shirt, even though it barely covered anything anyway.

It was just another example that proves why Ashley is better than other hot girls. They’ll often walk around with a shirt that covers their stomachs and breasts, like some sort of man-hating dyke. But not Ashley. She’s an amazing woman.

(source = splash news online)

mel gibson is under investigation

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 5:15 PM

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For several days now there have been reports that Mel Gibson beat his ex girlfriend, once so severely that she lost two teeth and suffered a concussion. Are these allegations true? Did he hit his ex wife as well? Was he wearing a Big Dog muscle shirt and jean shorts when he did it? The Los Angeles Sheriffs department is lookin for some answers. The AP says…

“An investigation of domestic violence was launched by [Los Angeles Sheriff's] Malibu/Lost Hills station detectives … involving actor Mel Gibson and his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva,” read a statement released Thursday. “The detective in charge of the investigation is currently gathering information regarding the allegations. Due to the investigation being preliminary in nature, no other information is available at this time.”

It’s exciting to see law enforcement in LA finally hold celebrities accountable for their actions. Sending Lindsay Lohan to jail was amazing enough. Two in one week would be an accomplishment on par with the moon landing.

lindsay lohan thinks jail is a violation of her civil rights

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 3:40 PM

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The problem with Lindsay Lohan is that she doesn’t seem spoiled enough, so last night she promptly took care of that on her twitter page. Chief Justice Freckles called class into session and then made the case that it was a violation of her civil rights for a judge to send her to jail simply because of two DUIs, two counts possession of cocaine, and 14 separate probation violations, among other things. Lindsay copy and pasted this…

It is clearly stated in Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights that, “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.”

this was taken from an article by Erik Luna.. “November 1 marked the 15th anniversary of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines. But there were no celebrations, parades, or other festivities in honor of this punishment scheme created by Congress and the U.S. Sentencing Commission.”
Instead, the day passed like most others during the last 15 years: Scores of federal defendants sentenced under a constitutionally perverted system that saps moral judgment through its mechanical rules.”

If the state of California wants to get out of debt they’ll put cameras in every inch of this jail and make it a live PPV so we can watch Lindsay get held down and pee’d on by the other inmates. I would buy a copy for at least 3 separate TV’s, just in case something happened to the first two.