Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez are creepy

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 7:55 PM

Cameron Diaz, Alex Rodriguez, A-Rod

Cameron Diaz and boyfriend Alex Rodriguez hit up Miami beach last week, and how can two people with such good bodies still look so unattractive? Especially her. She’s so ugly it’s uncomfortable. Like if you showed this picture to your dog he’d start backing away and then howling.

(image source = inf daily)

Tony Hawk is getting divorce number three

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 5:16 PM

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It’s a good thing Tony Hawk makes tons of money because that dude can’t go 10 minutes without getting a divorce. People.com says…

Tony Hawk’s third marriage is coming to an end.
Hawk, 42, filed for divorce from his wife, Lhotse Merriam, in North San Diego County, Calif., on Friday.
“We have made the difficult decision to file for divorce,” the couple say in a joint statement Monday.
“We remain deeply committed and loving parents to our daughter, and out of respect for that responsibility we ask that people honor our family’s privacy during this important time of transition.”

Why does this feel like Tiger Woods in a volcom shirt? When a famous guy with groupies gets divorced all the time, I don’t assume he needs privacy now. I assume he needed privacy when he was transitioning into the panties of whatever teenager he was banging 6 months ago. Are girls like that gonna start showing up on TMZ now, like they did with Tiger? But in this case will they have those Roxy boy shorts on? Because that would be awesome.

Shia LaBeouf got roughed up. At this place. Ummm…

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 3:20 PM

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This story is ostensibly about a bar fight, so why does it feel so gay it might as well be roller skating around Venice Beach in tiny denim shorts.

Us magazine says…

Shia LaBeouf was handcuffed and released in the wee hours of Saturday morning after an alleged bar fight.
An eyewitness to the altercation at Mad Bull’s Tavern in Sherman Oaks, Calif., tells Us the actor, 24, was taunted by a fellow patron inside the bar before being “sucker punched in the mouth” when their conversation was taken outside.
No charges were filed as a result of the dust-up, which dispersed when local LAPD officers who happened to be driving by the area saw the crowd.
Put in handcuffs while officers assessed the situation, LaBeouf was questioned and released shortly after 1 a.m.

This is seriously the most homoerotic fight I’ve ever heard of. Because a guy named Shia had something slapped against his mouth and then was in handcuffs shortly after leaving a bar named the Mad Bull with a couple of new gentleman he’d just met. I think it’s that bar name and logo that does it. If it was the Male Slot or something like this, this would be straight up gay porn.

Katy Perry knows how to sell perfume

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 1:06 PM

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Mexico is mostly famous for its lawless government and a bountiful supply of date rape drugs, it’s a forced-penetration powder-keg just waiting to explode, so it wasn’t the best idea in the world for Katy Perry to wear this awesomely slutty outfit while promoting her perfume “Purr” in Mexico City this weekend. Actually it wasn’t a good idea to go there in any outfit. Mexico sucks.

The End.

(image source = splash news online)

Lindsay Lohan might get arrested today. Again.

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 9:58 AM

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Idle hands are the devils workshop, so in the one month since she left court ordered rehab, Lindsay Lohan has stalked her ex girlfriend by moving next door to her, bribed a Betty Ford center employee into changing her story after assaulting her, and stolen a $2500 necklace from a jewelry store. Good for her. It’s important to stay busy.

Unfortunately, her latest crime spree might end today, because…

Lindsay Lohan will be charged with felony grand theft
Sources connected with the case tell TMZ the L.A. County District Attorney will file the case as early as Monday.
If convicted …  Lindsay faces a maximum of three years in state prison.

That last part is important because it’s state prison this time, not the county jail and that pussy sheriff who absolutely refuses to enforce the law and lock up a celebrity. I’m surprised he hasn’t installed a moving sidewalk in the jail so famous people can go from the front door to processing to the exit without even stopping.

Oh and it get’s better…

no decision has been made on whether an arrest warrant will be issued — which would then allow cops to find Lindsay, put her in cuffs, and walk her into the station in front of a gaggle of reporters.

There are other options. Authorities could make arrangements for Lindsay to voluntarily surrender at a location and in a manner that would avoid the cameras.


If I found a magic lamp today and had one wish it would be to see Lindsay being chased down an alley by police dogs. But they would have to start, like, a hundred yards away, so Lindsay has enough time to start freaking out, to process what’s going on and then start flailing her arms around and yelling.

Christina Aguilera has apologized for messing up the anthem

By brendon February 07, 2011 @ 8:00 AM

The National Anthem is 8 lines long. And it’s not some random collection of flowery words. It’s a story. The American flag was flying above Fort McHenry during fighting with the British in the War of 1812. It was there as the sun went down. As fighting went on it could be seen as the sky was lit up by explosions. At dawn, the flag was still there. Fort McHenry had been defended. It’s really not that tough to understand, or remember.

Unless you’re Christina Aguilera, who messed up the lyrics last night at the, uh, do I have to say “the Big Game”. Are they gonna sue me if I say Superbowl? Fuckers. But instead of singing, “O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming,” she sang, “What so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last gleaming?” But at least she’s apologized…

“I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.”

Obviously this isn’t really a big deal. She made a mistake, and she probably feels terrible. It happens. But she should have had a teleprompter. If nothing else than to block her big ass hips. I bet she wouldn’t just try to wing it if it was really important to her, like a recipe for double chocolate bacon brownies.

Alexander Skarsgard is a spaz

By brendon February 04, 2011 @ 6:50 PM

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True Blood star Alexander Skarsgard went for a jog in Runyon Canyon this morning, and he did it in the doofyiest way possible. With his hands in like a TRex and some kind of orthopedic looking shoes. He’s runs like he’s expecting the means kids to huck dead birds at his face.

Kim Kardashian changed her mind about those pictures

By brendon February 04, 2011 @ 4:55 PM

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Just a few days ago, Kim Kardashian was on TV crying because of the pictures of her in W magazine, the ones the showed her naked except for some silver paint (these). The ones she called, “full on porn”.

Umm… jk lol!

“Looking back, I love the photos,” she told Us magazine.
The reality star, who filmed the episode last fall, has had several months to come to appreciate the magazine spread.
“W Magazine is iconic so I’m really happy that I did it and that those are the photos.”
“It’s just that that’s not what I thought they were going to be,” she said.
“Obviously I’m comfortable posing nude — I’ve done that before, and I did that then for the magazine,” she explained. “But that’s probably not the direction I would’ve wanted to go if I thought that was going to be the case.”
Still, she conceded, “I do think the pictures are beautiful.”

Good. Good for her. They are beautiful, of course they’re beautiful. Kims hot, and has huge tits, and she was naked in silver paint. It was a great shoot, and if need be they could be turned into a really good ad for Space Camp.