who will get the playboy cover?

By brendon October 13, 2009 @ 1:33 PM

000spl115978_004

Tara Reid made news last week when she stripped down (“ALL THE WAY” down according to Fox News and their caps lock key) for Playboys December issue, but rumor is that ‘Real Housewives of New York’ star Kelly Bensimon is also set to appear naked in that same issue. This could be a problem for Playboy, because it means 2 celebrities but only 1 cover. So how will they decide who gets it? Oh gee I wonder. I’m not saying some editor at Playboy went out of his way to arrange a series of blowjobs for himself, but I am saying I wish I had thought of that first.

(way more bikini pics of Kelly and Tara over here. hq jump here. source = inf daily and splash news online)

kardashian or hewitt?

By brendon October 13, 2009 @ 12:11 PM

34804PCN_Hewitt

Hewitt! The answer is Jennifer Love Hewitt. An ass this big in Hollywood can only belong to one of two people and in this case it’s Jennifer Love Hewitt. There are other asses this big but technically those are on animals considered “livestock”. Other pictures that claimed to show an ass this size turned out to be drawings of a centaur.

go kill yourself

By brendon October 13, 2009 @ 11:16 AM

David Letterman

I’ve never heard of Quinnipiac University, but the angry dykes in charge of press releases would like you to know they’ve got their eye on David Letterman, and they won’t sit idly by while he has completely consensual relationships. People.com says…

Quinnipiac University says it will tell staff in charge of placing interns to be extra careful when sending students to the studio to work for Letterman, 62, who is currently at the center of a blackmail scandal over his alleged affair with one of his former interns.
“Due to recent circumstances we will have a discussion with those in charge of placing our interns at the David Letterman show in the future. We will diligently oversee this internship program to ensure that our interns are out of harm’s way.”

Oh jesus don’t be so dramatic. “Harms way”? Fuck you. They act like Dave was running around naked sodomizing every new intern. Like they were sex slaves with no way out, no one to hear their cries as they begged for mercy. If I worked at Letterman I would find the intern evaluation slips for Quinnipiac and jerk off all over them, just so the little busy-body lesbians over there can go insane with their new conspiracy theories.

(image source = inf daily)

michael jefferson steals music

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 7:32 PM

michaeljefferson

‘This Is It’ is the new song from Michael Jackson that leaked online over the weekend, and by all accounts it will be a huge hit for Jackson but also for Paul Anka. Because he’s the one Jackson stole the song from.

Anka tells TMZ in 1983, he wrote a song with Jackson called “I Never Heard” — and the demo of the song was recorded in Anka’s studio in Carmel, CA. Anka says he took the tape to a studio in Hollywood to put the finishing touches on it for Anka’s duets album, “Walk a Fine Line.” Anka claims Jackson — who was just blowing up at the time with “Thriller” — got a big
Anka gave “I Never Heard” to another artist — Safire — who recorded it in 1990.

Jackson probably didn’t think he’d get into trouble because the song is absolutely god damn awful. Why the hell would anyone care? It would be like getting sued for sneaking into someones yard at night and stealing their dogshit. (hear Michaels version and the 1990 version below)

My Song – michael donnelly

the shauna sand sex tape

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 6:01 PM

000gallery_enlarged-1012_shauna_sand_pumpkins_00

It seems impossible that a Shauna Sand sex tape hasn’t been made public yet, because it’s hard to remember why she’s even famous, but it’s true. There is no sex tape. Until now.

“Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I’ve made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn’t sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now.”

But the company who owns the tape, Vivid, says it has every right to release the tape and that’s what it’s gonna do next week, on October 19th. They even have a website with a preview (NSFW). Although it doesn’t look like any sex tape. it just looks like a porn. The lighting is perfect and the camera work looks professional. Sex tapes are usually shot in the dark, the POV is jittery and out of focus because the guy holding the camera is about to come, and the action ends with a bunch of screaming once they figure out where I’m hiding.

jamie pressley is spoiled

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 4:37 PM

SPL130482_010

Jaimie Pressley spent her honeymoon in Mexico this weekend, and pictures like this were probably considered pornography 50 years ago but things being what they are, now it’s just boring. What are you, a Senator? Take your damn top off.

christina hendricks got married

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 2:19 PM

EXCLUSIVE:  'Madmen' Star Christina Hendricks Marries in NYC!

‘Mad Men’ star Christina Hendricks married some dork named Geoffrey Arend at Il Buco restaurant in New York yesterday. They got engaged earlier this year, and you may be wondering if there’s a super cutesy story to go along with this.  Well of course there is!  People says…

When they went ring shopping earlier this year, the two knew they had a match. “They put the rings on the table,” Chila says, “and said, ‘Look, they talk to each other. They’re friends.’ “

The rings are friends? Oh holy christ. I see a lot of matching sweaters and One Free Kiss coupons in this poor bastards future. A lot of Romantic Scavenger Hunts and heart shaped pancakes. I also see the coroners report ruling that the gun shot was self inflicted.

oh hell yes

By brendon October 12, 2009 @ 12:47 PM

Oh thank God finally. Finally last night was the the night on “Californication” that Eva Amuri (Susan Sarandons daughter) got naked. If you don’t know, David Duchovny plays a writer now teaching a college class and she plays a student in his class.

Her face is a little suspect but who the hell cares with natural D’s on a body like this. Her body is so perfect I could rape her from the next room. I’d be so hard I could punch my dick right through a wall and nail her from there.