Gordon Ramsay has killed another chef

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 2:27 PM

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NOTE: first of all, this story is about suicide, which is obviously a very serious subject matter, but I don’t want you to be sad. Because I’m fine. I’m doin’ great. Struttin around like the cats pajamas, you might even say if you were my grandfather.

Also: I have no idea who that Asian chick with big tits is, but her picture is here because this is about Gordon Ramsey murdering people with his poison words, so now more than ever, the world needs Asian chicks with big tits (call me!). The New York Post says…

A New Jersey restaurateur once featured on Gordon Ramsay’s “Kitchen Nightmares” — and told by the TV chef that his debt-ridden eatery was “about to swim down the Hudson” — was eerily found floating in the river after jumping off the George Washington Bridge.
Joseph Cerniglia, the 39-year-old owner of Campania in Fair Lawn, is the second chef to commit suicide after appearing on one of Ramsay’s high-heat, reality-cooking series.

Holy shit. It’s almost like Ramsey told people to kill themselves and they did it. That is bad ass. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a sandwich. How is this not the biggest thing on television? It’s a game show where the loser dies. It’s ‘the Running Man’, only this time… the game is for real!!!

Katherine Heigl has still got it

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

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It was incredibly admirable when Katherine Heigl pledged $1,000,000 to various animal charities around LA last week, and it really made me reconsider her awful reputation, but that was over 4 days ago, and you know what she’s done since? Nothin. A big fat nothin. And then yesterday in New York she looked terrible and had acne, so, BOOOO, BOOO, I HATE YOU YOU SUCK BOOOOO!!!.

Lindsay Lohan wants $10,000 for a SCRAM picture

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 6:29 PM

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This is the first time Lindsay Lohan has worn a SCRAM bracelet for the third time, so obviously pictures of this amazing event will cost a pretty penny. You only do something for the third time once. There’s no going back. And that sly boots Lindsay knows this all too well. Us weekly says…

Lindsay was quietly shopping around a photo of herself wearing her SCRAM bracelet days after leaving jail.
“Lindsay Lohan was calling around the pap agencies all weekend trying to get $10,000 up front to pose up in the SCRAM bracelet. She was pimping it out all weekend, looking for 10 grand, but who wants to deal with that headache?”

Yeah that’s the problem. We’ve all seen pictures of Lindsay in a SCRAM bracelet. When there’s 8 million of something, it’s not really so special anymore. It would be like selling a car, and every single ad was about how it had a radio.

Kim Kardashian won the dress wearing contest

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 5:06 PM

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Yikes. Pacific Coast says the dress Kim Kardashian wore this weekend is the same dress Khloe wore Wednesday night. Um… wow. They allegedly have both the same parents, but that seems impossible to believe. This is like that scene where they dressed up ET in Gerties clothes.

Lindsay Lohan is really nice now, not a drunk whore

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 4:04 PM

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Instead of spending the weekend in jail where she belongs, Lindsay Lohan was free to do whatever she wanted. It was almost as if she never got caught doing coke while on probation. But she still has her hearing coming up, so last night she pretended to care about the less fortunate. E! says…

(Lindsay) spent part of Sunday evening visiting the Dream Center, a mission and outreach center in LA.
She with children and families, signing autographs and handing out purses to some of the teen girls.
“What a great place The Dream Center is here in LA… had a nice time there today, it’s so important to give back. I feel blessed,” Lohan later tweeted.
The source said Lohan wanted to make a return visit to see some of the young women housed there.

Oh I bet she does. She went on to say…

“This is what life is about. THIS is a life worth living!!!

Waaiit. My mistake. That last quote was about helping kids in India. She said it back in December. But it seems a life even MORE worth living is one where you fall down drunk, do coke, and steal $35,000 watches. Because, after getting home from India, instead of helping kids, that’s what she did. To be fair, that does sound way more fun than having some dirty little bastard bite you and getting some horrifying disease.

Katy Perry is a really good actress

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 2:42 PM

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Katy Perry was the musical guest on Saturday Night Live this weekend, and she was in a sketch about who the hell knows (video under the cut). If their plan was to create the worlds most popular .gif, mission accomplished.

Read more >

Hayden Panettiere loves Oktoberfest, push-up bras

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 2:03 PM

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These pictures show either:

A. Hayden Panettiere and her boyfriend, heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko, in Munich this weekend for Oktoberfest.

B. Once upon time there was a beautiful maiden who lived in a poor provincial town, and her kindly old father got very sick. An mean old ogre made him better in exchange for her hand in marriage. Later, a handsome young blacksmith and a magic duck pushed the ogre off a cliff or some shit like that.

damn you Kim Kardashian

By brendon September 27, 2010 @ 1:09 PM

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Kim Kardashian went to Nobu over the weekend with her giant sister Khloe (image not available) and some friends. In other words, no boyfriend. When she was dating Reggie Bush of the Saints, he won the Superbowl. Then they ended it and last week he broke his leg. After that she briefly dated Miles Austin of the Cowboys. They broke up and the Cowboys are 1-2.

So does sex with Kim Kardashian give people super powers? Should Minnesota try to set her up with Adrian Peterson? That was rhetorical because the answer is yes. What are you blind, look at those tits. Peterson would run for like 40 touchdowns and then play linebacker and tackle everyone just to get the game over with so he could go home and bang her some more.

(source = pacific coast news)