this sign kicked ass

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 3:43 PM

Gosselin Sign

Hopefully Jon Gosselin made this sign himself because it would mean he misspelled “penalty” and his own first name (close up here, source = inf daily), but whoever made it somehow got the job done because over the course of a few hours Jon has seen his public perception skyrocket from “bratty jackass” to “slightly less bratty jackass”.

TMZ says both sides confirm that Jon has been asking to end the show for months, not because he gives a shit about the kids but because he wanted to do a show on his own.

Radar Online talked to Kate today, and she says, “Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show.”

And TLC says Jons, “latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic.”

But at least he was able to halt production for now and at least claim he’s doing it for the kids.  Which is dumb.  Everyone should cash out as long as they can, because once the kids turn 12 or so, they won’t have time to film a show between all their trips to the psychiatrist and emergency room and abortion clinic.

first look at the new a-team

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 2:56 PM

Liam Neeson, Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson, Bradley Cooper

The big screen version of ‘the A-Team’ is filming this week in British Columbia, Canada, with Liam Neeson as ‘Hannibal’, Bradley Cooper as ‘Faceman’, Sharlto Copely from ‘District 9’ as ‘Murdoch’, and Quinton Rampage Jackson – who is basically the most likable person on earth – as ‘BA Baracus’. Jessica Biel is still cast but not on set yet.

It’s directed by Joe Carnahan, who should open the movie, nay, film, with the same shot he used to open his BMW Film ‘Ticker’, because it’s awesome and perfect. Except with Rampage and the black van, instead of Clive Owen and a Z4, because that wouldn’t make any sense in this context. People would be like, this is bullshit man, and just walk out.

(16 more here. hq jump here. source = inf daily)

jessica alba is still red

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 1:36 PM

Jessica Alba Stopping By A Salon In West Hollywood

Jessica Alba and her hot body went to a hair salon together in Beverly Hills yesterday, but hopefully not to change her hair color. Red hair is so hot, especially dark red on a tan girl. It’s still not known if she colored it for a role or just because she felt like it. Also not known: why my Raisin Roundies always win first prize.  Is a pinch of nutmeg my secret?  Ooooo, I’ll never tell!

(hq jump here. source = flynet)

I’d recognize him anywhere

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 1:32 PM

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ABC News says that John Travolta returned to the stand today in a Bahamas court room, testifying that a paramedic tried to extort money from him after the death of his son, Jett. The medic wanted 25 million dollars, or he would speak to the press and sell them documents that would imply Travolta was responsible for Jetts death on January 2nd.

Travolta also presumably petitioned the court for a new sketch artist. “Are you god damn kidding me,” Travolta would probably say. “I look like Hugo Chavez with gigantism. Why is my head so big? Do I really look like that? Why not just draw me in a bikini with big tits? Jesus, I already felt like killing myself.  This is not helping.”

jon gosselin really is an ass

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 11:38 AM

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Jon Gosselin has always maintained that having his kids grow up on TV wasn’t detrimental, and just last week he was “happily” filming scenes for their show, but 24 hours after it was announced that he was essentially being fired, he’s had a revelation. If the internet had subtitles, this scene would say, “(Jon throws a temper tantrum and fusses about like some kind of woman”).

…after learning that TLC would continue with a new version of Jon & Kate Plus 8 that didn’t include him as a major factor, the estranged husband of Kate Gosselin has demanded through his lawyers that the show cease production immediately or face potential criminal charges.
“Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon’s family home for any reason,” a letter from his attorney says, according to The Insider. “In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers.”
It’s not immediately clear whether Jon Gosselin’s cease-and-desist letter also applies to filming the couple’s children.

Unless they signed a new 24-hour TV contract every morning, Jon is high again and off in a fantasy world if the thinks this is going to stop TLC from filming their show. TLCs parent company (Discovery Communications Holding) made almost 4 billion dollars last year.  Think they have any lawyers?  TLC could stab Jon in the neck with an ice pick right in front of his kids, then bang his white trash girlfriend and still deduct as much as they wanted from his check for the time he missed while bleeding and crying.

pray for roman polanski

By brendon October 01, 2009 @ 7:45 AM

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Many of the Hollywood elite defending Roman Polasnki say he shouldn’t go to jail just because he drugged a child then f**ked her in the ass while she begged him to stop, and that he’s already suffered enough by living his life in exile. It’s easier to understand that part if you pretend that he’s American. He’s French, so I’m not sure how a French guy living in France is considered “exile” but whatever. The point is he’s suffered.  Or something.

But don’t think that Roman is unwilling to pay for his crimes. In fact he’s agreed to be placed under house arrest.  Specifically, this house. This chalet outside Gstaad, Switzerland, where singing bluebirds presumably pull your sheets back in the morning and Mr Sun gives you a big thumbs up. Oh that poor man. He’ll never make it!

(hq jump here. source = getty)

annalynne mccord gets it

By brendon September 30, 2009 @ 5:29 PM

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’90210′ star AnnaLynne McCord proved once again that she understands how being a girl works by wearing this tiny skirt with a huge hole cut out the front. This girl just knows how to be sexy. That’s why I thought it would be a good idea to make an AnnaLynne McCord sex robot. But after I got done it told me it was gay. So I made another one, who turned out to be real religious. Number 3 was married. Robots 4, 5, and 6 claimed to not speak english, while robots 8-15 all valued me as a friend too much to risk losing me after a physical relationship. And I said, “but … but you’re a sex robot.” And it rubbed the side of my arm and said, “I know. I know.”

(hq jump here)

so you think you can flash

By brendon September 30, 2009 @ 3:58 PM

Like many women, the promise of a trip to Las Vegas made this girl drop to the floor and spread her legs faster than Lindsay Lohan at an audition. Like many awesome women, she did this while not wearing underwear. Unlike many women, this girl was a contestant on last nights ‘So You Think You Can Dance’. Needless to say, I screencapped and brightened the hell out of that.