Minka Kelly and ‘Angels’ are off to a bad start

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 1:19 PM

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Look, I get that every movie and TV show, especially ones with action, are filled with stuff that’s impossible, with things that people can’t do, but there’s a point when you cross a line from “this is bad ass” to “that’s just fucking stupid”. Like the movie ‘Hanna’, where not a single god damn thing makes any sense whatsoever. In the first 10 minutes an 80 pound little girl beats up two Marine RECON-types with her bare-hands. Really, movie? You expect me to believe that? I get what you’re trying to establish but fuck off, I’m not just gonna ignore all logic because you’re too lazy to write something believable. Oh and the bad guy is so good he went from Germany to Morroco and found her hotel, without any leads whatsoever except that she was in Morroco, in about 12 hours? Really? How? How did he do that? Go fuck yourself and you half-assed writing, ‘Hanna’.

Anyway, Minka Kelly filmed some scenes for ABC’s new version of ‘Charlie’s Angels’ in Miami yesterday, and here we see her shooting a gun from a galloping horse. Unless the bad guy was escaping in a Space Shuttle, it seems hard to believe she hit what she was aiming at.

(image source = pacific coast)

Brandi Glanville > LeAnn Rimes, part 4

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 12:44 PM

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It was weird when Eddie Cibrian famously started an affair with LeAnn Rimes and eventually left Brandi Glanville for her, and it hasn’t started to magically make sense ever since. Because this is Brandi on the beach in LA yesterday. Unless LeAnn has a vagina lined with vibrating velvet, this is the most perplexing thing I’ve ever seen.

(image source = pacific coast)

‘Captain America’ looks like a good movie

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 6:17 PM

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‘Captain America’ had it’s premiere last night at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood, which of course means that English actress Hayley Atwell was there.

Atwell plays Peggy Carter, who is part of the program that transforms Steve Rodgers from a scrawny kid into a superhero. Atwell and her huge breasts act as the moral compass of the film, and as her relationship with Rogers grows more intimate and a romance develops, the three of them are able to inspire Rodgers to keep fighting, to stay on the right path, and to be true to himself and his country.

Also in the pictures is Chris Evans. I don’t know what he plays. Probably like a doctor or tennis player or something.

while in $1000 shoes, Lindsay said she’s broke

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 4:50 PM

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When Lindsay Lohan did this interview with Life and Style a few weeks ago, the second line of the article said LIndsay lived in a, “$2.25 million 3,000-square-foot pad in Venice Beach, Calif.”

And today when she was in court, she was wearing some Christian Louboutin shoes, which are always very noticeable and showy due to their signature bright red heels. A similar pair at Saks sells for $995.

I mention this because when the judge asked Lindsay why she hadn’t signed up for her counseling sessions yet, she said it was because she couldn’t afford it.

Lindsay had not yet started was her psychological counseling which her lawyer Shawn Holley informed the court was because her hard-up client could not afford it.
Holley said that because Lindsay’s SAG insurance had lapsed, she could not afford to pay for one-on-one counseling and that group counseling was out of the question for fear that others would sell her out to the media.
Someone off camera, thought to be Los Angeles City Attorney Melanie Chavira, said that she found it hard to believe that the Hollywood star could not afford to pay for counseling.
(Judge Sautner) asked Lindsay if she had anyone who had a credit card who would be able to stump up the cash for her court-mandated sessions. Lindsay consulted with her lawyer who then told the Judge that it “would not be a problem” for her to get the money together.

Oh it won’t? Oh ok good. So why did you just say it was? Two fucking seconds ago you said she was broke. Now it’s not a problem? What just happened? What did you two talk about where suddenly money won’t be a problem? She’s gonna give blowjobs for money, isn’t she? Well good. It’s about time. Look, this has been inevitable for about 4 years now. If anything she should be proud she made it this long.

Lindsay Lohan is in big trouble this time (jk lol!)

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 4:10 PM

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Lindsay Lohan was called into court this morning because, brace yourself, she’s been ignoring the judges orders and blowing off her community service. As you may remember, this is the exact same thing she did last time she was given community service.

With that in mind, I bet the judge really threw the book at her!

Judge Sautner made it clear, Lindsay had better complete her community services within 1 year of the date of sentencing — or else!
The judge said, “I’m not going to give her five extra minutes.”
The judge was frustrated that after 2 months, Lindsay has only completed 4 days of 60 days of community service.
The judge was also upset that Lindsay had not enrolled in psychological counseling — as she’s required to do. The judge is giving her 21 days to sign up with a personal counselor — not a group counselor.

Hmm.

Ok so I guess the judge didn’t throw the book at her. I guess instead, Lindsay is ignoring the judge again yet isn’t in any actual trouble whatsoever. So the only shocking thing today was that Lindsay looks like absolute hell. If she still wants to be an actress she better hope lots of roles get written where a girl gets pulled out of a river.

Read more >

Thursday headlines, with sex tapes and lawsuits

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 2:00 PM

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MARILYN MONROE – allegedly is the star of a newly discovered 8mm film showing her having sex when she was 20. The owner is trying to sell it, though hopefully this is just a police sting to identify guys who want to watch a girl who’s been dead for 50 years have sex. (cbs)

SNOOKI AND MIKE TYSON – are 2 of the names being mentioned to face off on ‘Dancing With The Stars’. And hopefully in an assault trial after that. Guess which one is the defendant in my little day dream. (us)

CHARLIE SHEEN – always brags about his sexual prowess, but Bree Olson says they usually had sex just once a day. Surprisingly, that one-a-day limit was not her idea. (sun)

CAPTAIN AMERICA – opens tomorrow and so far 71 percent of the reviews have been good. I wish I could say the same for my Captain America outfit. Those kids were pretty mean as I waited in line to buy my ticket. Fine, be a bunch of jerks, I hate this stupid theater anyway! (rotten tomatoes)

KIM KARDASHIAN – is suing Old Navy for $20 million because she thinks the girl in thier new ad looks too much like her (this girl). Apparently she feels it should be illegal for other girls to have a face. (ny daily news)

Marc Anthony cheeeted on Hennifaa Yopez

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 12:50 PM

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The most surprising part about Fridays announcement that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony were getting a divorce after 7 years was that anyone was able to put up with Jennifer Lopez for 7 years. Everyone hates that bitch, and they’re completely right in doing so.

So how did Marc Anthony do it? Well having sex with random flight attendants probably helped sooth his nerves.

In the new Us Weekly, a source says that Anthony, 42, hooked up with a flight attendant he met aboard a private plane in 2009.
“Marc and Jennifer almost split up over it,” the source tellsUs of the couple, parents to 3-year-old twins Emme and Max.
Seconds another insider: “Jennifer was going to leave him then, but Marc begged her to stay. They went to marriage counseling and she decided to give it another shot. He was someone she truly loved.”

My favorite part of this is that I doubt Marc Anthony could afford a private plane, so JLo paid for it, and then he used it to get laid. Good for him. She’s a horrible bitch. He could have drugged her, laid her in bed and then banged some strippers right next to her for all I care, and then just say he has no idea why she woke up with glitter and cum in her hair.

(image source = getty and bauer griffin)

lets just get this over with

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 11:24 AM

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Look, you hate Lindsay Lohan, I hate Lindsay Lohan, and everyone knows she’s still the same spoiled cunt she’s always been and she’s never gonna have any semblance of a career in Hollywood again, but for some reason she’s still considered to be news. I assure you, if I could make todays headline be that Kate Upton and Megan Fox made a sex tape, I would do that. But I can’t so instead it’s about Lindsay and her bullshit.

First of all, she’s being sued by that woman whom she very obviously assaulted while in rehab, but even better than that…

Lindsay Lohan will be in a Los Angeles courtroom on Thursday morning because the Los Angeles City Attorney wants to revist LiLo’s partying while under house arrest, Radar is exclusively reporting.
Lohan has a scheduled progress report hearing and Judge Stephanie Sautner has ordered the actress, 25, to appear. Typically, defendants do not have to appear unless there is an issue.

You may remember there was a lot of confusion after Lindsay failed an alcohol test while under house arrest. The sheriff, the probation department, and the judge all thought she was subject to tests, but apparently that order had lapsed. Then the judge refused to renew the order, and today the DA will try, again, to have it reinstated.

Keep in mind, Lindsay told Vanity Fair she used drugs in December of 2005. 6 years, 5 trips to jail and 6 trips to rehab later, and she still is. She failed a drug test for cocaine on September 17, 2010. She failed a test for alcohol last month. She drank WHILE IN REHAB at Betty Ford. Yet the DA actually has to beg the judge to have her tested for drugs and alcohol. Because everyone deserves a 14th chance, according to the judge. “I’ve just got a lucky feeling this time,” she’ll probably say.