the good news is they found that guy…

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 8:08 PM


Vancouver police have scheduled a press conference to begin at 5pm PST, and are expected to announce that the body of Andrew Koening was found this afternoon inside Stanley Park. No other details are available. Police have asked that all media present not refer to him as “Boner”, because they would probably start to giggle.

brittany murphys autopsy is complete

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 6:35 PM


When Brittany Murphy died, her husband Simon Monjack was adamant that it was a shocking tragedy, and was baffled when asked for any explanation.

“This is what’s killing all of us? How did it happen?”
Asked point-blank if a drug overdose was a possible cause of death, Monjack replied, “I can get rid of that one right now,” he says. “She has never, and I repeat NEVER, done drugs. There are no drugs involved.”


The Los Angeles Coroner’s Office released the full autopsy report for Brittany Murphy on Thursday, which revealed new details surrounding her death and drug use (and) a breakdown of what drugs were found in her system.

And those are: Propranolol (a sedative), Hydrocodone (a morphine-like pain killer), Phenazopyridine (pain killer generally taken after surgery), Fluoxetine (aka Prozac), Dextromethorphan (in some doses it’s cough syrup, in others it’s a hallucinogenic), Chlorpheniramine (allergy medicine), and methamphetamines (methamphetamines).

I have to say, for a girl who let this tub of shit flop around on top of her, I’m surprised she only took 6 sedatives and/or pain killers. I would have done all that, chased it with scotch and then had someone drop a safe on my head.

jenny mccarthy is an idiot

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 4:46 PM


Jenny McCarthy is back in Time magazine this week to warn more parents about vaccines and blaming medicine for giving her son autism, even though there’s no scientific evidence of any kind to support those statements, and mountains of data proving she is 100 percent wrong. Let’s keep an eye out and see if she can kill her 500th kid. Time writes…

During her appearance on Oprah in 2007, she launched a typical fusillade: “What number does it have to be … for people just to start listening to what the mothers of children who have autism have been saying for years … I told my pediatrician something happened … after [he was vaccinated] ?… Boom — the soul was gone from his eyes.” Later, when Oprah read a comment from the CDC stating that the vast majority of the science to date did not support her assertion, McCarthy replied, “My science is Evan. He’s at home. That’s my science.”

Actually that’s the exact opposite of science. It’s just something that happened. It would be like if a goat was choking on a gold coin, and then Jenny wrote a book claiming gold coins come from goats. If a dog barks and later it rains, the dog didn’t make it rain by yelling at the cloud. It was coincidence combined with the fact that you don’t really understand what you’re looking at. These doctors must shake their head and think, “I can’t believe I’m arguing with a chick who is only here because she sold pictures of her vagina to a magazine.”

nick simmons would like an apology

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 3:22 PM


Gene Simmons is really smug and arrogant because he was in KISS, 1977’s fourth most popular band. And who could blame him? They almost had a number 1 record (with 8 of their 47 records reaching the top 10!) and last year they played backup to Adam Lambert on American Idol.

His son Nick is also becoming quite famous, although for different reasons.

The American company Radical Publishing has announced that it halted the production and distribution of Nick Simmons’ Incarnate comic book series on Wednesday evening, amid allegations that the comic plagiarized Tite Kubo’s Bleach manga.
According to Radical, “We are taking this matter seriously and making efforts now to contact the publishers of the works in question in an effort to resolve this matter.”

Nick has gone on Facebook demanding an apology, and it seems he deserves one. This live journal page has a few so-called “examples”. Nicks are in black and white for the most part. As you can see in this one, the Japanese character has a scar over his right eye, while Nicks is over the left. When laid on top of each other, the difference in the scars is even more obvious. Is this Crazy Town? Are right and left the same all of a sudden? I don’t think so. I think the only crime here is envy of Nicks talent.

i dont feel so good

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 1:15 PM


For the past 10 years Kirstie Alley has been in a contest with Mad Cow Disease to see who could put away the most cattle. Because of this, her weight has fluctuated wildly, from 400 pounds all the way up to 402. But 2010 began a new diet and a new fitness regimen. The results so far have been amazing. On Twitter, she wrote…

YEEEHAA WOOHOO… LOST 6 POUNDS since Jan.1 Yay yay… so 6 pounds in 11 days… I’ll take it!!! FEELS GREAT to be ON TRACK… hear that ENQUIRER?

That probably just means she weighed herself after going to the bathroom, but whatever, because as bad as it is picturing her alone, now picture her having sex with Jamie Foxx. says…

During an interview with Kirstie Alley, set to air Thursday on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the host brought up a May 2009 PEOPLE interview in which Alley revealed her affinity for actor Jamie Foxx.
“I haven’t been having sex,” Alley, 59, said at the time. “I want a booty call with Jamie Foxx. For real,” she said. “I’ve always had a bit of a thing for him.”
“Well, you know, that’s really great because we have a special relationship, but I don’t want a booty call,” Winfrey says of her friend, who magically appeared via closed-circuit TV – prompting screams from Alley.
“Kirstie … with Oprah’s permission, I’ll be your booty call,” Foxx, 42, tells her.

It’s hard not to notice that Foxx didn’t appear in person. If he was worried about her rubbing her stomachs and then pouncing on him, all he would have to do is step up onto a curb or something. She’d be helpless, trapped down there until help arrived.

whitney houstons still got it

By brendon February 25, 2010 @ 11:17 AM

Whitney Houston has been getting lots of very justified criticism in the past 24 hours for her crappy performance of “I Will Always Love You” in Brisbane, Australia this week (before and after up top, video of her entire performance under the cut). The song is famous for the huge ending, but that was before Whitney spent 10 years smoking crack, which doesn’t have as many vitamins and minerals as you might think.

Now she’s a growling mess, and she can’t even come close to holding notes the way she used to. The concert should have been called, “Back Up Singers And Overly Loud Drumming, featuring guest star Whitney Houston.”

Read more >

george clooney bought an island for his girlfriend…

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 5:27 PM

George Clooney's Castle Island In Lake Como In Italy (USA AND OZ

George Clooney of course owns a home (the Villa Oleandra) on Lake Como in Italy, which you may remember as the place where the French guy lived in ‘Oceans 12′. In the middle of the lake is Loreto Island, and now Clooney owns that too, or at least his girlfriend does because he bought it for her.

It looks sort of like the island from Myst, and Clooney must have a way with words because the models I’ve tried it with freak out when you leave them on an inaccessible rock surrounded by steep walls and danger. I usually lock them in an iron mask before I leave. Is he skipping that part? I must discover his secret.

(image source = flynet online)

and this is why

By brendon February 24, 2010 @ 5:27 PM


This headline only makes sense if you read it as the second part of the headline right above it. Just so you know. Anyway, if any girls out there are wondering why their boyfriend doesn’t buy them an island, it’s because they don’t look like this. Girls who look like this get free islands. This of course is Elisabetta Canalis, the girl who Clooney has sex with in one of his many fabulous mansions on Lake Como.

I think I speak for all of us when I say that George Clooney and his fabulous life can go fuck themselves.