Angelina still rules

Last night was the much anticipated Hollywood premiere of Brad Pitts "Inglorious Basterds", and jesus christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it's not even close. And I've officially had it with all the dumb rumors of their imminent... read more

Michael has been buried - UPDATE

This seems incredibly hard to believe, but a London tabloid, and not even one of the good ones, is claiming that Michael Jackson was quietly buried this weekend at Forrest Lawn in the Hollywood Hills, and it all happened with no press and no media. How could the Jackson... read more

Morning Headlines

I HATE YOU - Even though everyone knew it was going to suck, "G.I. Joe" made over $100M this weekend. If there was any doubt before, this is undeniable proof that people in this world are mostly stupid. (source = variety) DANE COOK - got boo'd at the Teen Choice Awards... read more

Miley Cyrus is sexxxy

Miley Cyrus sang one of her big hit songs and did a stripper-pole dance thing on top of a (ice cream?) cart at yesterdays Teen Choice Awards, and it was every bit as sexy as that made it sound. The video above is a bootleg because the show won't air for a few weeks, but... read more

Billy Mays really loved drugs

The toxicology report for Billy Mays, who died on June 28th, has been released, and according to TMZ he had the following drugs in his system when he died: Hydrocodone (Vicodin), Oxycodone (painkiller), Alprazolam (Xanax), Nordiazepam (Valium), Temazepam (anti-anxiety),... read more

Kristin Cavallari is lazy

Kristin Cavallari went to the beach in Malibu yesterday, but it would have been better if she had gone down to Manhattan or one of the more popular beaches like that. Because maybe they would have someone even more plain and boring than she is, and she could go stand by... read more

Cause of death is almost official

After much speculation, law enforcement officials say there is essentially no doubt that Michael Jackson was killed by Dr. Conrad Murray after he injected Jackson with a lethal cocktail of powerful sedatives. The AP says... ...the type of sedatives Dr. Murray gave... read more

There. Are you happy now.

I would rather investigate gunfire from my childs bedroom than whether or not Lady GaGa has a penis, especially since this quote is at least a year old. But for whatever reason it's been rediscovered and is everywhere today, so this is what she allegedly once said. "It's... read more

John Hughes just died

John Hughes, the writer and director who is mostly well known for era-defining crap like "Sixteen Candles" and "the Breakfast Club", not to mention the "Home Alone" movies, died today of a heart attack at the age of 59. But I'm not here to trash the dude, because he also... read more

Victoria is the new Paula

I'm completely unapologetic when it comes to Victoria Beckham. That bitch is hot, and I would very much like to have sex with her. Some people disagree. Those people are wrong and/or queer. So needless to say if she ended up as the new judge on American Idol, I would... read more

Dr Phil molested some woman

A 44-year-old mom named Sara Morrison claims that Dr. Phil fondled and sexually abused her when she was a college sophomore who saw him as a patient in 1984. But in a new interview, she says the years have brought forgiveness and even sympathy. "Dr. Phil is a monster!"... read more

Lindsay Lohan is helpful

This mysterious strangers' identity was once thought to be an unsolvable mystery, but it turns out it's Lindsay Lohan. She probably thought she was hiding but in reality she looks way better like this. She should cover her alligator skin and dumb blond hair as much as... read more