Nina Agdal, Ariel Meredith, And Kate Upton In Body Paint

June 14, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I really thought the whole bodypaint thing was a passing fad. Like henna tattoos or Japanese baseball players. But SI is still sticking with it. And you’d have to be a real dick to complain about any reason to see Kate Upton without her clothes on. Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

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Kanye West Thinks He’s Steve Jobs

June 14, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Obnoxious egomaniac and Kardashian-breeder, Kanye West, believes that in the future people will think of him the way they do about Steve Jobs. Yeah, that Steve Jobs. It all started when a simple interview with the New York Times turned into a three day rant where Kanye discussed how awesome he is. That’s not really […]

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2 Chainz Did Not Get Robbed At Gunpoint, Until He Did, Shit His Pants, And Ran (VIDEO)

June 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames. It’s easy to root against rappers. For every one originally talented gangster, there’s twenty stoned posers with stupid names and recycled sounds and a love of weapons they don’t know how to handle. Last week 2 Chainz denied being held up at gunpoint in San Francisco, even though […]

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Farrah Abraham Got New Hooters, Again

June 13, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

For a girl who just made a mint on her backdoor being invaded, Farrah Abraham seems pretty committed to gussying up her front porch. The world’s most famous rectally permissive mom got herself a second boob job, upsizing from C’s to D’s. Instead of saline her implants are now filled entirely with the jizz of […]

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Paris Hilton Almost Done With Musical Abortion

June 13, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Hold on to your ass hats, Paris Hilton is almost done with her new album. Last month we told you that she had signed Cash Money Records in order to rape our ears with lazy-eyed Banshee shrieks. You might remember Paris Hilton as the obnoxious dirty whore that pioneered the field of being famous for […]

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The Miss USA Contestants Were In Bikinis Again

June 13, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

The 2013 Miss USA Preliminary Competition took place last night at the PH Live at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, as women from all 50 states and the District of Columbia started competing for the honor of eventually being contestants on Celebrity Apprentice. I don’t know much about any of these girls […]

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George Takei Facebook Posts Ain’t Coming from George Takei

June 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Fans are up in arms upon the ‘revelation’ that George Takei isn’t the guy writing his social media posts. Most of the witty zingers on his crazy popular Facebook page are written by freelancers and interns. And, hold your shorts, that’s true of every single celebrity out there, save but a few who have shitloads […]

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MySpace Threw A Party, Invited All The Cool Kids

June 13, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

MySpace is apparently back with a brand new design, and the people behind it celebrated last night by throwing a party at the El Rey Theatre in Los Angeles with a bunch of really cool young people to let you know how hip it is. Among the stars in attendance were Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale […]

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Candles Weren’t The Only Thing Malia Brooks Was Blowing Out at School

June 13, 2013 | News | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

By my rough estimation, every single boy in this country is now having sex with his female teacher. I didn’t have to walk ten miles in the snow to get to school, but I can tell you I was absolutely denied hummers from my reasonably attractive 30-something female teachers. What made me so fucking un-molestable? […]

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Kate Upton Should Be In Every Movie

June 13, 2013 | bikini | Brendon| 0 Comments

People always complain when George Lucas goes back, re-masters and fucks with his classic Star Wars films or makes new Indiana Jones movies that are crammed with stupid crap like aliens, but maybe if he went back and added Kate Upton and her giant breasts to each movie, people wouldn’t care as much. Maybe instead […]

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