you might wanna face the other direction

By brendon February 22, 2010 @ 1:06 PM

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UK model and singer Myleene Klass is in Barbados today, and she almost went topless after a giant wave snuck up behind her. Unfortunately she kept all her clothes on, so the bad news is we don’t get to see her naked. The good news is, anyone without enough sense to face the 10 foot waves crashing down around them will end up naked in public at some point, probably soon.

(source = splash news online)

bar refaeli is in a bikini (update!)

By brendon February 22, 2010 @ 12:27 PM

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Physically perfect girl Bar Refaeli was in Mexico this weekend, and the only thing hotter than Bar in a bikini is Bar in a bikini with two friends, who are also hot chicks with big tits and in bikinis.

In fact these pictures are a little too good, and when they ended I got really sad. It was the saddest ending since ‘Old Yeller’. I don’t think I’m being unmanly when I admit that I cried for over an hour. Why did the pictures have to go away?

DECEPTIVE UPDATE - Actually there’s no update. I just wanted this back on top. I updated the headline. Does that count?

(source = splash news online)

monday morning headlines

By brendon February 22, 2010 @ 12:26 PM

viva elvis 200210

ANGELINA JOLIE - has been estranged from her father Jon Voight for almost a decade, but he was in Venice this weekend spending time with her and Brad Pitt and their army of kids. Also this weekend, I put my dick in a milkshake. Coincidence? (msnbc)

THE HURT LOCKER - ran over ‘Avatar’ at this weekends British Film Awards. Both were nominated for 8 awards, ‘Hurt’ won 6, including Best Picture and Best Director. James Camerons movie about outer space kitty cats under attack may be a longshot to win the Academy Award now, unless they let dogs vote or something. (fox news)

VOTE FOR A TYLER READER - Technically I don’t care if gay people can get married because I’m not gay and I only care about me. I do however hate the government telling everyone what they can and can’t do, so in that sense gay people should be able to get married because, why can’t they just leave everyone alone. Go build a bullet train between LA and Vegas if you have so much spare time on your hands. Plus gay guys can’t have kids and I hate kids. What a utopia this world would be if more guys were gay. So that’s why I voted for Mikey in this wedding contest thing after he emailed me. So I can get my bullet train, and because my neighbor has two little kids who stand outside and scream all fucking day. The End. (vote)

HOLLY MADISON - attended the premiere of the new Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas. At least that’s what it said in my police report after I pulled down her dress. (NSFW pics under the cut. source = playboy and wenn)

jayde nicole is 24

By brendon February 22, 2010 @ 10:59 AM

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Playboy’s 2008 Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole celebrated her 24th birthday this weekend, and even though she looks way way better with no clothes on (under the cut), she still looked fantastic in this ridiculous dress and a crown. This must be how rich people live. I think she got bigger implants too. Her breasts look twice as big as they were before, meaning she’s twice as wonderful.

(source = pacific coast and playboy cyber club)

god i hate you so f**king much

By brendon February 22, 2010 @ 8:38 AM

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On her birthday last year, Jennifer Love Bacon dressed up like whatever that bitches name was in that movie and stood outside Tiffanys. This year, she peered out from behind her gate then walked into the street because someone was banging on her food dish. No not really. It was because she had dressed up like a fuckin idiot again and called the paparazzi again so they would take pictures of her again.

Reportedly this was a Lady Gaga-type outfit, meaning that one of us has no idea who Lady Gaga is. The one I’m familiar with wears goofy shit that cost $10,000, not a tutu that looks like frosting she found during the Wal-Mart Halloween Spooktacular. Unfortunately it looked a little too much like frosting, and early this morning they found it in her stool.

(source = pacific coast news)

friday afternoon headlines

By brendon February 19, 2010 @ 7:35 PM

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TIGER WOODS - almost threw away what matters most, but his apology this morning has made up a lot of ground. EA Sports, Gillete, and Upper Deck all issued statements of support today, at least opening the door to Tigers return. What coquettish little flirts you are. (reuters)

NICK CANNON - is a complete fucking dullard. He’s described in this interview as a “comedian”. I defy anyone to point out even one answer that could possibly be considered a joke. Interviews with rape victims have more laughs than this. (wonderwall)

COP OUT - has a fantastic trailer that most will never see because it’s red band. NBC showed the bobsledder guy dying, several times, well after it happened, but apologized for Shaun Whites coach saying “shit”. Has the whole fuckin country gone nuts? (foundry)

CHERYL COLE - is a huge star back in the UK but she’s in Beverly Hills this week because her dipshit soccer star husband has been cheating on her again. Point being, tits. (splash news online)

FACEBOOK …. TWITTER …. THE WORLD CHAMPION!

jay-z doesnt party with white people

By brendon February 19, 2010 @ 4:04 PM

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In London this week for the British Music Awards, Jay Z won the Brit for Best International Male, then hosted a lavish after party attended by every big name you can think of. As long as you can’t think of any white ones. One guest told the Daily Star…

“Jay-Z is a megastar and yet it was clear white people were not welcome in his VIP area.
While the red rope was lifted for black guests to breeze through, let’s just say it stayed down if your face didn’t fit.
And that included me, despite clearly being a guest of the double-BRIT winners JLS.
I have never felt so intimidated. It left me feeling like a mauled dog.”

This part, however, is extremely important…

Jay-Z was completely unaware of the situation after having a custom-built table laid on for him in a private corner.
But a friend told the Daily Star: “He would not have been happy by the actions of those on the night.”

We shouldn’t rush to judgment until we know the motivations of the bouncers. Maybe they were trying to help. Maybe they were going to show a movie during the party, and everyone there would be talking over it and yelling stuff at the screen. My people don’t like that one bit. “Tsk, tsk,” we say.

sean penn is going to jail. im kidding of course.

By brendon February 19, 2010 @ 3:04 PM

Nicole Richie got her second DUI after driving the wrong way down the Burbank Freeway while high on vicodin and marijuana. She served 35 minutes in jail (more).

Lindsay Lohan was charged with 2 DUIs, 2 counts of possession of cocaine, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility, driving on a suspended license, drinking underage and fleeing the scene of an accident. She served 84 minutes in jail (more).

Michelle Rodriguez has managed a hit and run, driving with a suspended license twice, driving without a valid license twice, two DUIs, and tons of speeding tickets, including 90 in a 35. After all that, she was sentenced to 60 days in jail. She served 4 hours (more).

Knowing how tough the LA district attorneys are on crime, Sean Penn must be shaking in his boots right now. I hope he doesn’t do anything drastic.

Sean Penn will be charged with criminal battery and vandalism today, in connection with a run-in with the paparazzi … TMZ has learned.
The incident occurred last October in Brentwood, CA … as an angry Penn approached and kicked a paparazzo, allegedly breaking his camera.
If convicted on both counts, Penn could go to jail for 1 1/2 years.

Penn is a big star, and the DAs are star-struck pussies who could give a shit less about upholding the law, so, on a scale of 1 to 10, the odds of him going to jail for even one minute are “frowny face”. There’s no number for it, but it’s way below 1. The worst they’ll do is make him eat some real sour candy, or watch a ‘Road Rules’ marathon.