Miss Virgin Islands USA Lisa Opie In A Bikini

September 12, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I can never remember if all these islands to the south of us actually belong to the U.S. or we just pretend they do and let their hot women compete in our beauty pageants in exchange for letting our... READ MORE

Prince William Leaving the Military (He Was in the Military?)

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Apparently, Prince William has spent the last almost eight years as a full time soldier. Well, airman. I guess he was deep cover pretending to be a polo playing and ball-attending prince during his stint in the R.A.F. because... READ MORE

Rihanna Has A Lovely New Penis Purse

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Always the classiest lady at the party, Rihanna left her hotel in London yesterday looking like she stole the curtains from a restaurant at Epcot and showing off her new gift from Vivienne Westwood – a purse with a... READ MORE

Charlie Sheen Finally Graduated High School (VIDEO)

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Charlie Sheen lives in a mansion with several decent-looking female porn stars that he rotates in and out as he sees fit, while he collects paychecks on a 100-episode deal for Anger Management, despite the fact that he never... READ MORE

You Can Keep Courtney Stodden, England

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Talentless and soulless vessel of silicon Courtney Stodden was eliminated from the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother 12 last night, and in typical Courtney Stodden fashion, she departed looking like the inexpensive stripper that your uncle took to your dad’s... READ MORE

A General Fuck You To Ignorant Cave Dwelling Assholes Everywhere

September 12, 2013 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Every nation and people and culture on this planet is fucked up in some manner or form. We all have our assholes who’d rather ruin a party than throw a party. Some percentage of miscreants who just have to... READ MORE

Stephanie Cook In A Bikini

September 12, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In my next life, I’m coming back as a redheaded model with big tits. That or a star NFL quarterback. The allure of sports fame is pretty powerful, but you’d still have to live knowing that the redheaded model... READ MORE

Back to Work for Khloe and Kourtney

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Kardashians are like the postman. Nothing can stop them from making their appointed rounds. Not crackwhores or missing husbands or paternity allegations or even just having the shits from their amphetamine laced diet powder. These girls are earners.... READ MORE

It’s a Boy for the Girl Jordana Brewster Paid to Have Her Baby

September 12, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s really no more natural of a childbirth than to have a third party have your baby for you. I’m sure there are a variety of medical reasons that might necessitate using a rented womb to procreate. I’m also... READ MORE

Not All Orange Pride Girls Were DTF (VIDEO)

September 12, 2013 | video | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Here’s how institutional scandals always work. Some reasonably reliable media outlet announces they have dozens of witnesses in a multi-year investigation that they’re going to print with knowing full well if they’re not thorough in their sourcing and fact... READ MORE