god that would be so tempting

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 6:37 PM

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Julianne Hough was in Miami today filming more scenes for the Tom Cruise musical ‘Rock of Ages’, and I don’t know if this part was in the script but if I were that guy I’d pick her up and throw her in the water too. I hate this chick, she’s pointless, there’s not one single attractive thing about her. You could turn your monitor off and then click through the pictures and they’d be at least twice as good.

Ke$ha needs attention at all times

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 4:41 PM

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Ke$ha is famous for her outrageous style and outspoken attitude, but she really topped herself last night by wearing a stormtrooper mask after she arrived at JFK airport. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say this is probably the most shocking thing any celebrity has ever done. Congratulations, Ke$ha.

(image source = inf)

Maria Shriver narc’d out Schwarzenegger

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

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Many people have been wondering how Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to hide the existence of a son, the product of an affair with his housekeeper, for 13 years. Others have wondered how the secret managed to get out when it did.

Well the answer to the second one is easy: his wife told the LA Times. Way to cock-block, Maria. I bet you’re just pleased as punch.

…when Maria found out that Arnold was the father of Mildred Patty Baena’s son, she was “hysterical” and wanted to hold a news conference blowing the lid off the scandal.
We’re told Maria’s friends talked her off a ledge and a plan was hatched to leak the details to the L.A. Times and TMZ.

Isn’t that just like a woman? God they’re such little tattle-tales.

Estella Warren got a DUI, seems fun

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 1:45 PM

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Estella Warren, the model and actress who is probably best known either from the Tim Burton ‘Planet of the Apes’ or the Chanel Little Red Riding Hood commercial (this), can now add another title to her resume; crazy bitch.

Because just before midnight last night, she crashed her Toyota Prius into three parked cars. That’s bad driving, but in her defense, she was pretty drunk. When police arrived on the scene, she resisted arrest and even kicked one of the cops trying to bring her in.

After finally working their magic and subduing the 90 pound girl, the LAPD cuffed her and brought her to the station to be booked. Then, like a real-life Nikita, Estella wiggled out of her handcuffs and headed for the back door to escape. It was basically the first 30 seconds of the Columbiana trailer.

Now she’ll be charged with felony escape (she was caught before she ever left the building, btw), assault, DUI, and hit and run. Hopefully they’ll handcuff her for trial too. And lock her in a tank underwater, and then when the trial begins, they’ll pull the curtain off the tank and she’ll be all the way on the other side of the room, soaking wet but ok. How does she do that!

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are in Hawaii

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 10:53 AM

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Justin Bieber, who is 17 but has the physique and sunken chest of a sickly 10-year-old, is in Hawaii today with Selena Gomez, and yesterday they went to the beach and held hands. It was pretty neato, or however those nerds would describe it. It’s like a fan-fiction story come to life. Today they’ll probably find an old treasure map and get chased by a guy in a grass skirt and scary mask. And this once quiet vacation will turn into… the adventure of their lives!

fun fact – 5-star Louisiana high school safety Landon Collins and Justin Bieber are the same age. Fuck you, Canada!

(image source = splash news and bauer griffin)

Lindsay Lohan is gettin me all hot

By brendon May 24, 2011 @ 10:01 AM

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Lindsay Lohan went swimming on Miami beach in a blue bikini yesterday, but unless your favorite part about Matrix 2 and 3 were how sexy the albino twins were, these may not be for you.

(image source = inf)

Gwen Stefani is pretty damn hot

By brendon May 23, 2011 @ 6:38 PM

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Gwen Stefani was still on her yacht off the coast of France near Cannes earlier today, and I guess one of the reasons she looks so good in a bikini, even at the age of 41, is because she never wears one. She’s never out in the sun. That’s why there aren’t many pictures like this. She’s so pale if she stays in the sun for more than a few minutes she starts smoking like a vampire.

(image source = fame)

Monday headlines, with Michelle Hunziker in a bikini

By brendon May 23, 2011 @ 4:59 PM

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TREE OF LIFE – won the equivalent of Best Picture at the Cannes Fim Festival this weekend, but experts don’t think that will help much at the box office. But how can that be? Everyone loves the French. If those socialist pussies liked the movie, it should do great here in America. (la times)

KIRSTEN DUNST – was the winner of the Best Actress award at Cannes for her work in ‘Melancholia’. As you now know, Cannes selects winners by randomly choosing a name out of a hat. (ew)

GWYENETH PALTROW – was supposed to be all set to sign a record deal with Atlantic six weeks ago, but talks have stalled, perhaps because she wanted too much money upfront ($1M). Wait, Paltrow is being an unreasonable pain in the ass? Well this is the fist I’ve heard of anything like that. (ny post)

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4 – made $90M in its opening weekend, which means there will no doubt be a number 5. If it stars Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz again, they should call it ‘Voyage of the Mumblers’. (mojo)

MICHELLE HUNZIKER – is a Swiss model, and this weekend she was on the beach in Italy. That’s her in the purple bikini, in case you weren’t putting the pieces together yet. (splash news)