Halle Berry knows how to dress

By brendon January 28, 2011 @ 3:29 PM

Halle Berry And Olivier Martinez Heading To The Dentist

Halle Berry went to the dentist in Toluca Lake yesterday, and for some reason she did it her cock-teasingest shorts. Did that poor bastard dump her in high school or something?

(image source = flynet)

like nothing ever happened

By brendon January 28, 2011 @ 2:16 PM

charlie_sheen_two_half_men_a_l2

Denise Richards, Martin Sheen, and Dr. Drew are all trying to get Charlie Sheen into drug rehab, but his body can apparently take it, his employer lets him do whatever he wants, and it’s not like the pussies in the LAPD would ever arrest a celebrity, so, no, he’s not gonna do that. Instead he’s gonna go home, hang out, and party some more, like nothing ever happened.

Charlie Sheen will be at work Tuesday on the set of “Two and a Half Men,” sources tell TMZ — and he’s NOT going to rehab.
Charlie is out of the hospital and recovering from Thursday’s 911 emergency.
The show is on hiatus this week, so the production schedule won’t be affected.

Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Tuesday is a loonng way away in Charlie Sheen time. His house could look like Jonestown by then.

morning headlines

By brendon January 28, 2011 @ 1:01 PM

RICKY GERVAIS – reprized his role as David Brent on the Office last night, and it really was a great scene, right up until it began. (celebuzz)

TRACEY MORGAN – was live on Inside The NBA last night from Madison Square Garden, and when Charles Barkley asked him to choose between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin, he said, “Let me tell you about Sarah Palin man. That’s some good masturbation material.” Hopefully she’ll take that as the very flattering compliment that he intended. (ted williams head)

LEA MICHELLE – is the star of Glee, which is on Fox, and she’ll sing “America, the Beautiful” at the Superbowl. Which will be aired on Fox. Finally, they figured out a way to promote that show a little. (e!)

Charlie Sheen was in the hospital for laughing too hard

By brendon January 28, 2011 @ 10:00 AM

Two and a Half Men

Charlie Sheen is an asshole who beats up women, and that’s why I had my fingers crossed that he would die yesterday, but he didn’t, and now we’re gonna have to listen to a bunch of insultingly condescending explanations for why he was rushed to the hospital. Awesome. Officially, he’s in there for a hernia. And what caused it to flare up? Was it the 36-hour coke binge? Nooppe. Course not.

The Hollywood Reporter

One friend of Charlie Sheen has the most unusual reason for the actor’s hospitalization on Thursday — the Two and a Half Men star was laughing too hard.
Steve Brodersen, identified as Sheen’s friend by Extra, told the program that Sheen suffered a hernia injury while laughing too hard at the television from his home.
The report continues that Sheen may need surgery as soon as tomorrow to repair the hernia. Brodersen said that Sheen told him from the hospital bed, “I’m not dying.”

Is anyone in LA law enforcement gonna investigate this, by the way? At all? Witnesses are saying he had a briefcase full of coke. No one wants to look into that? Maybe swing by his house? No?

Okay fantastic.

I’m sure if there was a news report about my meter being expired and they could write me a ticket they’d have a team of forensics on the scene within the hour.

Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 8:37 PM

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So if Charlie Sheen does die today (and honestly if he does who cares) at least he’ll have gone out nailing one of the hottest girls in porn, if not all of Hollywood, in Melanie Rios. According to radar, she was the other porn star with Sheen this morning after he went to the hospital, though there’s no mention of it on her twitter, which has been updated twice today.

The first porn star is said to be Kacey Jordan, who is actually kind of ugly, and it shows how badly drugs can impair your judgment because Melanie has a sister named Valerie (or at least they say they’re sisters), and that’s them pictured, and they… um… do stuff (NSFW).

In Sheens defense, its hard to make informed decisions when your doing bricks of cocaine at a time. TMZ says…

Sheen had a “briefcase full of cocaine” delivered to his home — and was using large amounts of the drug during the 36-hour bender that landed him in the hospital … this according to a source inside the house.
We’re told Sheen had several people inside his home during the 36-hour span that started Tuesday night — including 2 porn stars, a business associate, and several other women.
After hours of drinking, we’re told a person showed up to the house with a designer “briefcase” — that contained multiple “bricks” of cocaine.
We’re told Sheen immediately began doing the drug for several hours.

And people freak out when I say I hope he dies? Seriously, who cares? Not him. Hell even if he does die, his last words will have been, “WEEEEEEE!!!!!”

“It’s officially 24 hours of drinking! hehe.”

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 6:54 PM

charlie_sheens_house

I personally think Charlie Sheen is an asshole, but maybe he’s actually really cool. Maybe it’s cool that he shot Kelly Preston in the arm back when they were engaged. And that his girlfriend Chloe Jones died suspiciously (source). And that two of his wives claim he threatened to kill them, one even saying he held a knife to her throat (source, source). And maybe there’s no connection between those things and him dressing a $6,000 sex doll up as a cheerleader, chopping off its hands with a meat clever, wrapping it in a blanket and throwing it in a dumpster (source), and maybe the porn star who claims he locked her in a closet in the Plaza Hotel in New York was lying (source).

Maybe he’s just a guy who likes to “party”, and maybe he should be admired for the “cool” life he leads. Like, before going to the hospital this morning, when he was partying with porn star Kacey Jordan, who took the picture in the headline at Sheens house and then posted it on twitter last night (unedited full size copy here).

So maybe I’m wrong. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and now he breaks the law with impunity and assaults women. And when you put it like that, really what’s not to love.

Charlie Sheen has been rushed to the hospital

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 4:53 PM

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Charlie Sheen and two of his newest lady friends were having another raucous party all last night and into the morning, aanndd now he might be dead (crossing my fingers).

Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital this morning, TMZ has learned … and a source at the hospital tells us, “It’s serious.”
We’re told Charlie was taken out of his home on a stretcher and loaded into an ambulance at 7 AM.
Two young women exited the house at the same time Charlie was taken out with a towel partially over his face.
Sources say Charlie was having severe abdominal pains which triggered the 911 call. Stan Rosenfield, Charlie’s publicist, tells TMZ Charlie was in the emergency room this morning — sleeping.

Gee, who knew that years of an unchecked drug addiction could have side effects? Someone really should have mentioned that.

wtf American Idol

By brendon January 27, 2011 @ 4:08 PM

American Idol had its third episode of the new season, and it actually did a pretty good job at holding on to last weeks ratings, but the real story was the show producers closing on a guy named Chris Medina. And here’s why they did…

Contestant Chris Medina has been with his fiancée for eight years, almost three of which they’ve been engaged. In October 2009, two months before their vows, she was in an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury that left her in a coma for a month-and-a-half. Medina and her mother are now her caregivers. “What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?” he said, after footage of him helping her walk down stairs and getting her comfortable in her wheelchair played.
His fiancée was among those he brought with him to the audition.

Jesus Christ! Seriously? This is so cold and scheming and manipulative, I’d really like to know where the producers were two years ago. They might be the ones who did it.