Girls with red hair are the absolute best. The only thing better than a hot girl with red hair is two hot girls with red hair. But even better than that is hot one girl who is Jessica Alba with red hair. You may be thinking, well then hey, even better than that would be two Jessica Albas with red hair, but now you just sound retarded. You sound dumb. But the good news is your girlfriend gave me a blowjob last night. Wait, that’s not good news. Sorry, I’m screwing this all up. I just didn’t know how to tell you.
Megan Fox is hosting Saturday Night Live this week and she was on Jimmy Fallon last night, and everyone who says she’s a bitch is nuts. Because she’s adorable. On Fallon she talked about not wanting to disappoint anyone on SNL, her fear of public speaking, her phobia about dry paper and even that she’s scared of the dark because there might be ghosts.
She points out (rightfully) that you never know what ghosts are gonna do. They might just float there and be scary, but they might also throw things at you and hurt you. And ghosts can go through walls so you can’t escape. Oh great, now I’m scared too. Thanks a lot stupid Megan Fox!
Bijou Phillips says she was 13 when she found out that her half-sister Mackenzie Phillips was having consensual sex with their father. And then her family wished her luck, and left her alone with him. What could go wrong?
Bijou Phillips is now 29 and says the news was confusing and scary. She says it was “heartbreaking” to think her family would leave her alone with her father.
Appearing as a guest on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” Friday, Mackenzie Phillips said their father “had changed his ways as much as he was able to” and she felt Bijou Phillips was safe.
Well see, there you go. Sure, he raped one of his daughters for 10 years, but that doesn’t mean he was drug and sodomize all of them for 10 years. This is what’s wrong with the culture these days. A guy fucks ONE of his daughters for a decade – just one – and all of a sudden he gets labeled as some kind of weirdo.
These mysterious bikini pictures of Susan Sarandons daughter Eva Amurri are as good a reason as any to mention that she begins her run on the Showtime series ‘Californication’ this Sunday. She plays a student who uses her huge rack to pay for school by stripping. David Duchoveny plays her professor and possible lover. I play a handsome stranger who moved to this town to find a fresh start, but his mysterious past catches up to him when gangs rape a neighborhood girl, and his hands become a weapon once again. You may be asking, “on the TV show?” No my friends, in my incredible real life.
JUDE LAW – will not see his newborn daughter until Christmas. He barely knew the mother of course, and she lives in Florida now, but Jude will be working in New York for the next few months. If only there was some way to get from New York to Florida, but how?!? Legend says dragons guard the skies overhead, and monsters rule the seas! (ok)
PAM ANDERSON – is broke apparently. She owes various contractors over 1.2 million dollars for construction work and hauling off old debris. Surprisingly that doesn’t refer to plastic surgery, but actual construction work she had done on her house. (star)
JESSICA BIEL – will go to Africa and climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in January to raise awareness about the need for clean water worldwide. Didn’t Rome have clean running water like 3000 years ago? Are the countries who can’t even filter water yet really worth saving? What’s the goal for the year 2500? Shoes? (ap)
AUDRINA PATRIDGE – was at Bardot in LA last night, and somehow shoe-horned her huge rack into a dress that fit like it was a tattoo. It’s why she’s one of the greatest women to have ever lived. (hq jump here. source = wenn)
New Zealand has a Fashion Week, apparently, and it’s going on now, and creepy weirdo Richie Rich had his show last night. He’s the graceful swan who roller skated 10 feet then fell down. Pam Anderson was the star of the show, and I’m using “star” in the loosest possible sense. All she really did was walk down the runway in clothes that were clearly going to fall off and then did. I think I got a virus just opening these. And I don’t mean a computer virus. I mean syphilis.
Khloe Kardashian (see here with sisters Kim and Kortney) may or may not actually end up marrying Lamar Odom this weekend, but he canceled the big bachelor party that was planned for last night at Les Duex, and instead had a less orchestrated get together with some friends at STK and Guys and Dolls. And it was every bit as boring as that made it sound. Radar says…
“Lamar was smoking a cigar and dancing up on the back of the booth. He was definitely getting a ton of attention from the ladies but he wasn’t interested. At one point, a hot brunette girl put her hands onto his chest and tried to feel him up but he just took her hands off and kept walking.”
God this dude sucks. What the hell kind of bachelor party was that? Was the wildest part of the night when they brought out the pinata or when everyone personalized their cupcakes?
MEGAN FOX – yesterday there was the Megan-Fox-girl-kissing scene from ‘Jennifers Body’, now comes the famous Megan-Fox-getting-out-of-the-water-naked scene. And it’s terrific. They shot it perfectly. So Sexy. There’s really nothing I would have done differently.
JOE FRANCIS – is being sued for a million dollars by Jayde Nicole, the girl he beat up in a bar in August. Jayde says she suffered a “black eye, swollen face, bruised ribs, a sore and bruised abdomen region, bruised arms and legs, ripped out hair along with utter emotional distress and humiliation and she claims she suffered permanent disability.” I get everything but “humiliation”. She dates Brody Jenner. How much pride could she really have? (radar)
LILY ALLEN – says she is done making music. “Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record.” Luckily she says this kind of thing all the time. She’s awesome, but very emotional. The type who would try to kill herself by holding her breath. (the sun)
RANDY QUAID – has been arrested in Marfa, Texas for that hotel bill thing, but they didn’t go down easy. “there was a struggle and deputies had to wrestle Evi to the ground as she screamed loudly … Randy assaulted (deputies) physically and verbally and resisted arrest.” They will now be extradited to Santa Barbara, which actually sounds really relaxing. (tmz)