Vanessa Hudgens erotic awakening continues

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 4:28 PM

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Vanessa Hudgens and her boyfriend Austin Butler were still in Hawaii this weekend, romantically holding each other in the water and watching the sunset. It looked like an ad for Sandals. Or condoms.

(image source = fame)

Heidi Klum is single

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 9:31 AM

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Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement…

“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It’s so embarrassing! We can’t even have his friends over anymore because he’ll pee on them. I don’t know what his deal is. He must like it, the little pervert. Does sham-wow make sheets? Because we’d buy some. Anyway, this led to a lot of tension in the house and that led to fights. So thanks a lot you little dick! Way to ruin our family.”

Wow, nice job Henry. Hey look, your mom is crying again, is this what you wanted, are you happy now?

Steven Tyler is patriotic

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 8:51 AM

They say that the national anthem is one of the hardest songs to sing, and yesterday at the AFC Championship game between New England and Baltimore Steven Tyler proved them right. He better watch out. Ray Lewis has stabbed people for less.

Joe Paterno died

By brendon January 23, 2012 @ 7:30 AM

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Joe Paterno died early Sunday morning, though not of shame like you would have thought. It was actually lung cancer. A statement from his family says, “he died as he lived.” By mumbling and shielding a pedophile.

January Jones is recovering nicely

By brendon January 20, 2012 @ 5:28 PM

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It’s been just 4 months since January Jones gave birth, yet she looks almost exactly like she did before. So, she still hasn’t named the babies father, and she won’t touch the baby, and now, physically, it’s like nothing ever happened. It sorta seems like her plan is to make sure that kid is nothing but a memory by summer.

(image source of January at equinox gym in LA = fame)

Johnny Depp is very spooky

By brendon January 20, 2012 @ 4:50 PM

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Warner Bros has released this picture of Johnny Depp in the Tim Burton version of ‘Dark Shadows’, where he apparently doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s a vampire. He’s as vampiry as anyone could ever look, short of just shape shifting into a bat and say “squeak squeak” for 2 hours. .

Sammi Sweetheart might pose for Playboy

By brendon January 20, 2012 @ 4:02 PM

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Though there doesn’t appear to be any firm offer on the table, Sammi Sweetheart of ‘Jerey Shore’ is said to be “considering” whether she should pose for Playboy.

“I just feel weird about my boobs. … But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the right direction you want to go in.”

Yeah it would be a real shame for Sammi to sully her good name by posing in Playboy. She has such a bright future ahead of her.

(image source = fame)

Mark Wahlberg should stop explaining

By brendon January 20, 2012 @ 3:34 PM

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Mark Wahlberg really didn’t do himself any favors today when he went on Kid Kraddock in the Morning to explain why he said what he said about stopping 9/11.

“I would never disrespect the victims of 9/11 or their families. It was completely misunderstood.  My only intention was to explain the fact that I would do anything to protect my family – I would put myself in harms way to protect my family or innocent people. That was it.”
“First and foremost, I am not an actor.  I am a real guy from the streets and I’ve been in a lot of situations.”

No, dipshit, you’re an actor. I know this because I’ve been seeing you in movies since 1995. Of all people, you’d think the guy from who was dancing around with the Funky Bunch would want to stop being thought of as what he was 20 years ago.