morning headlines

By brendon September 16, 2009 @ 1:12 PM

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JASMINE FIORE – model mayhem is terrific, but it might be time to take Jasmines profile down. Especially since her last post said “please shoot me”. I wasn’t even looking for this and found it, despite only browsing around for 10 minutes. Well, under an hour at least. 1 hour. Maybe 2. Less than 5. A little over 5. God I’m So Lonely! (modelmayhem)

DERTY
– I don’t get much new music around here, but Derty is pretty GD cool. At least from the safety of the internet. In real life I would probably hide in the outhouse like those little girls in ‘Schindlers List’ if I saw him and his friends coming toward me. I’m sensible! (youtube)

KENDRA WILKINSON
– her husband Hank Baskett, who is a wide receiver for Philadelphia, was cut from the 53-man roster to make room for Mike Vick. So forget about shots of Kendra in a slutty Eagles jersey during the game and in tabloids. It would seem head coach Andy Reid has a lot to learn about modern football. (foxsports)

PATRICK SWAYZE
– these are reportedly the last pictures ever taken of him, in Beverly Hills on 8.25.09. He was understandably camera shy as the cancer took over. In a sense, I’m the same way. I don’t post many pictures of myself because I don’t want to be known as just a pretty face.  (hq jump here.  source = flynet)

kim kardashian is photogenic

By brendon September 16, 2009 @ 12:29 PM

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Over on her official website, Kim Kardashian posted some new bikini pics yesterday (full size and two more here and here and here) but she never said what they were for. Actually she probably did but I didn’t read that far because who cares. I got what I came for, and it probably just says something about me being History’s Greatest Lover, which I already knew, so I just moved on.

Read more >

lindsay is a good influence

By brendon September 16, 2009 @ 10:55 AM

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It goes without saying that the Lohans are dumb as rocks, so someone over there thought it would be a good idea for Lindsay to take her 15-year-old sister Ali to bars, in hopes that Ali would be more like Lindsay, who is washed up at age 23 precisely because she spent the last 5 years in bars. And so that’s what they did. MSNBC says…

The sisters Lohan hit up L.A.’s Crown Bar Sept. 4. “They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her. And Ali was excited to be there.”
the next night, Lindsay took her to another club. “They walked into Teddy’s at the Roosevelt Hotel around midnight. Both of them were smoking like chimneys and dancing around.”

Ali is lucky to have a sister like Lindsay to show her the ropes. It will save Ali a lot of time if her goal is to have a career in Hollywood most notable for its confused sexuality, drug addiction and crime.

(hq jump here. source = wenn)

is ben affleck cheating?

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 6:42 PM

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Just a few weeks ago there were pictures (here) of Ben Affleck on the set of ‘the Town’ (and not ‘Valentines Day’ as I said then. Someone was nice enough to send me an email about it but I’m far too stuck up to edit my mistakes) with Blake Lively, and they did anything but help the rumors that Ben was cheating on Jennifer Garner. Now comes this blind item:

Which A-lister couple’s relationship is on the rocks. Seems he is cheating with his much younger co-star and the wife is now trying to accompany the two on set as much as possible. She heard the rumors way before we did and is now hanging around to nip this thing in the bud. Not Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.

I don’t think it’s right, but if God didn’t want guys to cheat on their wives with Blake Lively, he should have thought of that before he made her rack so awesome. She’s got the firmest looking breasts I’ve ever seen. They just beg to be rubbed up and down. If Ben is innocent of all this, then I apologize. I also apologize if that was your sister I banged this weekend. She gets really clingy afterward, huh? What’s that all about?

the President calls Kanye a jackass

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 4:57 PM

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Most Democrats these days are socialist pussies who are offended by everything and their solution to anything entertaining is to fuss over it like some kind of woman and then add a tax, and President Obama may be all or none of those things for all I know, but at least he’s from earth. At least he can talk like a human being. The Kanye thing is getting overblown but until Science gets off their ass and figures out a way to reanimate Barry Goldwater so I can vote for him, at least this is something.

there he is!

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 3:40 PM

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Anyone else getting this awesomely timed ad? God damn Scotch, the dog just died. Give her a minute.

Paris Hilton is a good person

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 3:19 PM

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Paris Hilton was in Milan, Italy last night, and during an event at a “gay friendly” club, she initially refused to hold a sign that read, “Stop Homophobia”. Later she said it was a misunderstanding. I was so impressed, I went and told her so.

ME: Hey Paris. I’m glad you held up that sign. I feel the same way, I think gay people should have the same rights as everyone else.

PARIS: (nsfw language)

ME: Am I a faggot? What does, I mean no but … look, never mind. I just think you and I agree on this and might have more in common than I thought.

PARIS: (nsfw language)

ME: You know what never mind. You’re a fuckin idiot.

Alessandra knows how to dress

By brendon September 15, 2009 @ 2:47 PM

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Victorias Secret supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio had a kid this time last year, but you’d never know it by looking at her as she strutted around Manhattan last night in damn near nothing. Is there anything on earth better than a hot girl who dresses slutty? Actually yes, there probably is, but this is still pretty terrific.