Adam Sandler gave his friends new Maseratis

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 5:25 PM

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People either like Adam Sandler movies or they don’t, but about the worst thing you ever hear abut him personally is that he’s too loyal to his old friends. Meaning he keeps casting people like David Spade and Rob Schneider when no one else ever would. So it pays to be Adam Sandlers friend. In fact it’s awesome. The Daily Mail says…

But not only is Sandler a good father – he also appears to be mega-generous and showed this off by surprising his co-stars from his movie Grown Ups with some very impressive gifts recently.
Comedian Chris Rock revealed that his former Saturday Night Live friend was in an Oprah give-away mood following the huge success of their film.
‘I went outside the other day and I had a new Maserati in the driveway’, Rock said today.
Rock said he soon found out that his other co-stars – David Spade, Rob Schneider and Kevin James all found the $200,000 sports car in their driveway.

I hope when I’m real rich I’ll be this nice to my friends, instead of spreading rumors about them and trying to fuck their girlfriends, like I do now.

(image source of Sandler filming Jack and Jill = splash news)

Tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 4:55 PM







CONAN O’BRIEN – brought in 4.2 million viewers last night for the premiere of his TBS show, easily defeating Leno (3.5 million) and Letterman (3.4 million). And he showed how they plan to keep using old characters like the Masturbating Bear while getting around NBC’s intellectual property right claims. When it comes to apex predators wacking off, accept no substitutes. (deadline)

SETH ROGEN – says he was so nervous to propose to his girlfriend, he just ran in the house and did it. It was not good timing. “She was in our closet, changing, and she was literally only in her underpants. I had already kind of started. I didn’t picture it like this, and I know she didn’t picture it like this.” Wow so she was topless? What a whore! (people)

KRISTEN STEWART – will be “practically naked, a lot” in the next Twilight movie, though I didn’t catch the name of it. To be honest I thought we were done with these. How long is this gonna go on? (e!)

Rachel Weisz is single

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 2:56 PM

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Rachel Weisz and director Darren Aronofsky have dated since 2001, got engaged in 2005 and had a son in 2006, but now comes word that they’ve broken up, possibly because women are all evil and don’t care about the pain they cause to the men who love them. E! says…

Somewhere along the line things changed.
Notably, there have been rumors about Weisz and Daniel Craig. She and the 007 star allegedly did some serious Bond-ing while working on the film Dream House earlier this year, though neither has confirmed any romance.

Well whatever. Nine years with Weisz would still be awesome. She’s fantastic looking, and seems like she would be really slutty in bed. Last year she was voted the woman men most want to marry in a poll in Esquire. She’s also the big winner of the pole in my pants right now. I bet she’ll be really flattered when she hears the sexy news!

they fired Megan Fox for this?

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 2:25 PM

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Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley filmed some scenes for Transformers: Dark of the Moon yesterday, and if this is the girl that’s supposed to make us forget about Megan Fox, it’s not working. At all. It’s like someone took a young Uma Thruman and then punched her in the face.

(source = pacific coast news)

Miley Cyrus showed off her ‘just breathe’ tattoo again

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 11:17 AM

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Last December, just a few days after turning 17, Miley Cyrus got a tat under her teen breast that says, “whites only”. No not really. It says, “just breathe”. It’s reportedly a tribute to a friend with cystic fibrosis and who must stare at her tits a lot.

Point being, Sunday she wore an open-back dress to the MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid, and of course you could see the tat again. They’re quite permanent, you know.

Pink might be pregnant

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 6:57 PM

EXCLUSIVE: Is Pink Pregnant?!

Pink and Carey Hart were out running errands in Malibu this morning, and Flynet says, “It looks like Pink may be pregnant and is sporting a baby bump!”

It’s good to see these two, who have had some rocky patches in their… wait, Pink is a woman? Biologically? That’s not right is it? Hold on, I need to look some stuff up, I don’t think that’s right.

Monday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 4:45 PM



CONAN O’BRIEN
– will host the premiere of his new TBS show tonight, and he says one thing to look for on the new show is him forgiving Andy Richter: “Because you know it was him that f—ed up. I was doing fine before he came back.” I also heard that Richter was the Beltway Sniper. (tbs, ew)

LILY ALLEN – suffered a miscarriage last week, and over the weekend she was hospitalized with a blood disease called septicemia, which “accounts for tens of thousands of fatalities per year.” Her life is so tragic all of a sudden, she’s like one of those women in the bible. (la times)

MICHAEL JACKSON - has a new record coming out in December, and the first single was released today. It’s a terrible, terrible song, but it’s Michael Jackson so they’re gonna sell it anyway. In 10 years they’re gonna dig him up, take his femur and play his ribs like a xylophone and call it ALL NEW MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC!!! (mj.com)

finally. a Kim Kardashian mastercard.

By brendon November 08, 2010 @ 3:04 PM

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Credit and debit cards have become a staple of everyday life, but I’ve always wanted one that I could also jack off to. Well now somebody has made my dream a reality! The New York Post says…

Kim Kardashian (will) be at a party tomorrow to promote the launch of a prepaid credit card for children … the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCards are being marketed as helping parents keep their kids safe by allowing them to monitor their teens’ spending through their cellphones.
“Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do,” a rep said. “And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card.”

This is like when you see an ad and some lady is massaging her back with something that is clearly a dildo. Stop pretending. The only people buying this are lonely perverts who wanna get the motor running while they use it to subscribe to a porn site. And if my card isn’t here Friday like they promised I’m gonna be pissed.