where have these been?

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 6:07 PM


The Megan Fox movie ‘Jennifers Body’ opens today, and it would seem someone has a lot to learn about marketing because these pictures of her in a cheer-leading outfit have only just been released (hq jump here). They should have been dumping copies of these out of planes like Allied propaganda during the war. They should have emailed everyone on earth 5 copies, then made a list of everyone with no email to call on the phone and then held her picture up to the receiver. Hearing a picture of her crinkle isn’t as good as seeing one, but Megan is hot enough that even that will make people wanna see the movie.

Khloe Kardashian is engaged

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 5:54 PM


When LA Laker star Lamar Odom was playing college basketball at the University of Rhode Island, he would often disappear for days at a time as he suffered from crippling bouts of depression, doubt and low self esteem. In a possibly related story, now he’s marrying Khloe Kardashian.

It’s been about a month since Khloe Kardashian and L.A. Lakers forward Lamar Odom began dating, but the couple plan to marry, and are currently planning their wedding, two sources confirm to PEOPLE.
Earlier this month, (Kim Kardashian said), “They’re very, very happy. They’ve been together a few weeks, and are literally inseparable. Khloe thinks he’s amazing and makes her laugh and smile constantly.”

The good news is that Odom is 6’11”, and when together he makes Khloe relatively human looking by comparison. The bad news is, if they have kids, those monsters will literally block out the sun and life on earth will cease to exist.

lindsay is still a menace

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 5:33 PM

lindsay lohan 2 180909

Lindsay Lohan is back in LA today after spending some time in New York, because she can do more damage if she moves around a lot. Yesterday she was in the news for acting like a brat after deciding she didn’t like her seat at fashion show (more here) and now she’s a story because last night she was kicked out of her hotel. Cops were called because she was fighting with someone. Oh you’ll never guess who. The Sun UK says…

LINDSAY LOHAN has been kicked out of a New York hotel after a blazing row with lover SAMANTHA RONSON.
(Lindsay) launched “a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend’s door”.
Trouble was, it was actually the door of an unsuspecting hotel guest
As a result, the Lindsay was chucked out of the swish establishment – and her family are apparently now desperate to send the volatile actress back to rehab.

But this is all a big joke to Lindsay, who got on her twitter page this afternoon and laughed off the rumor that she was possibly doing something responsible.

Hahahaha my publicist just called me & said she heard I was in a psych ward!!!! Hahaha WHAT IS WRONG with people???? I’m working lol
BUT that’s one I’ve NEVER heard about myself before! New ones r always interesting huh? There’s SO much more going on in the world! Wake up

It is true that she’s “working lol”. She has a small part in the new Robert Rodriguez movie based on the trailer he made for ‘Grindhouse’. To repeat, this movie is based on a throw-away idea for a movie that was supposed to be stupid and unpopular and was. And Lindsay isn’t even the star of that. Her character stars alongside Michelle Rodriguez and their only scene so far took place at a pool. Which sounds like Rodriguez filled this part of the cast with girls likely to get drunk and suggest a gangbang.

paula vs. ellen, round 1

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 4:21 PM

Last night Paula Abdul channeled all her seething contempt for Ellen DeGeneres and opened the 2009 VH1 Divas concert by doing an impression of her. Meaning she dressed like a man and danced like she was smuggling something packed inside her anus. A better impression of Ellen would have been to have sex with Portia de Rossi, but only if we all went back to 1990 first. Point being, about an hour ago on twitter, Ellen condescendingly patted Paula on the head and told her to run along now.

Paula- you’re hilarious. You’ve left me some big shoes to fill…unfortunately I don’t wear high heels. Nothing but love for you too.

Yes it must be intimidating to have to follow Paula Abdul.  So much preparation must be involved, like knowing which way to point your chair during the show, and the ability to recognize your name when called upon.

thats what the police are for

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 11:50 AM


Apparently the “L” and “A” in “LAPD” stands for “Luggage” and “Accessories” because when home-wrecking whore LeAnn Rimes called them to watch her bags as she packed them for a trip, they came running.

(LeAnn) called the police to her home to apparently guard her as she loaded her SVU with luggage. It’s almost certain residents of California would appreciate their tax dollars working toward keeping Ms. Rimes’ luggage out of harm’s way.

Is it any wonder why people laugh at the LAPD? I dare her to try something like this in New York. NYPD wouldn’t even stop the car or roll down the windows before they started shooting at her for wasting everyone’s time.

(hq jump here. story and picture source = fame)

detective freckles cracked the case

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 11:14 AM

Audrina Patridge Shooting "The HIlls" In Hollywood

Nicholas Prugo, 18, was arrested Thursday morning, suspected of robbing the homes of Lindsay Lohan last month and Audrina Patridge back in February.

Lohan’s mother Dina tells PEOPLE, “Yes, we have found [him], God is good.”
Lohan’s Hollywood Hills home was burglarized last month by a young man and woman in which a safe was ripped out of the wall, and bags, shoes and jewelry were stolen.
In February, the apparent same pair broke into Patridge’s Los Angeles home and was caught on tape making off with several bags of her possessions.

Many people think Lindsay was very much a part of the break-in at her house, so it will be interesting to see what comes of this. Prugo was also involved when she was arrested for prostitution last year. Or maybe she wasn’t I don’t know. What am I, in the CIA or something. I can’t keep track of all this crap.

Besides who cares when Audrinas body is this ridiculous. I’m even over the eye thing. She could have eyes at the end of tentacles for all I care, LOOK AT THAT ASS. I would punch that kitty so hard sparks would be coming out of her. And then smoke. The fire marshal would have to come and give me a citation to get me off that ass.

(hq jump here. pictures of her throwing out the first pitch at a Dodgers game on 8.31 here. source = splash and wenn)

what did you do, ray

By brendon September 18, 2009 @ 9:39 AM


In theory a girl in a naked skintight catsuit should be hot, but Pink is so androgynous it’s hard to even know what her plan was two nights ago during a concert in Seattle. If she was trying to look sexy, she pretty much failed. However if her plan was to scare people into thinking she was Gozer the Gozerian, well then mission accomplished.

“Where do these stairs go?”
“They go up.”

what in the hell is that?

By brendon September 17, 2009 @ 7:15 PM


People freak out whenever I call babies ugly, as if the f*cking baby is gonna read this and get it’s feelings hurt, but I’m pretty sure the rule giving them immunity was made before … um … before whatever the hell that is was born. According to her website, it’s Katherine Heigl with her newly adopted “special needs” baby from Korea. According to things I learned in comic books, it’s clearly a super baby who one day will rob banks by walking through it’s walls as police bullets bounce harmlessly off it’s impenetrable folds of lumpy skin.

I don’t like kids anyway, and I especially hate babies, but I very much do like Asian girls, and most little Asian kids are absolutely god damn adorable, way cuter than little white kids who usually suck, but this. Yikes. Was this adoption agency reputable? Because it’s like someone shaved a shar pei and gave her that. And by the time Katherine figures it out the check will have cleared. “Ha-ha, I got you money, Round Eye!”, Korea will say.  “Dog baby you problem now, Woof-Woof!”