tiger woods plays golf by himself at night

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 5:54 PM

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Tiger Woods reportedly agreed to give up golf to prove himself to his wife Elin Nordegren, but he agreed to stop nailing other women when he got married too, so, you know. Tiger takes vows like this as more of a guide than anything else. Us magazine says…

(A neighbor said Tiger) has been spotted “coming by in the early evenings only for their counseling and therapy.”
After those grueling sessions — which a source describes as the golfer “just apologizing over and over again” — Woods heads to a nearby course to hit golf balls “to clear his head,” another local says. “He goes after dark so he can’t be seen. For him, what’s more therapeutic than hitting golf balls, the thing he’s best at in the whole world?”

What’s more therapeutic than Tiger reliving segregation and sneaking onto a golf course in the dark? Tons of things actually. Number one would be having some blond 20-year-old D-cup stranger with her hand down your pants. That sounds relaxing as hell. If I were Tiger I would just go back to that. Then he wouldn’t be knocked unconscious after whacking a golf ball off a brick wall because he thought he was facing the other direction.

geri halliwell is patriotic

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 4:49 PM

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Last night London hosted the second annual Sun Military Awards, the creation of Prince Charles as a fundraiser and awards show to honor members of the British armed forces. And apparently “fund” is Brit slang for “penis”, because Ginger Spice and her huge breasts clearly thought that’s what they were supposed to be raising when they chose this skin tight dress and push up bra.

Australia kicks ass, part 2

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 3:02 PM

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Apparently you can’t walk 10 feet on an Australian beach without tripping over a blond model with perfect breasts, because yesterday Jessica Hart was walking around mostly naked at Bondi Beach in Sydney. She has one of those big gaps between her teeth, but flaws like that make hot girls more attainable, either because it chips away at their confidence or other guys are turned off. It’s with this is mind that I’ve been spreading the rumor that Megan Fox wets the bed.

(source = pacific coast online)

elin nordegren is filing for divorce

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 1:14 PM

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Just yesterday, Star magazine went to press with a story claiming Tiger Woods has been trying to nail Jessica Simpson for months (a report Jess denied this morning on her twitter) and earlier today Us magazine reported that he is still texting Rachel Uchitel and trying to hook up.

With that in mind, it shouldn’t be a surprise that both ABC News and Radar are breaking stories that Elin Nordegren has set her divorce in motion. Radar says…

Tiger Woods’ wife Elin has decided to file divorce papers.  Too many women and too many lies have pushed her over the edge.  Elin has made up her mind that she can no longer be married to Tiger.  “She’s not going to let Tiger talk his way out of this,” the source said. “There’s nothing he can say to erase years of betrayal.”

And ABC News writes …

Elin Nordegren has asked for a divorce according to ABCnews.com, which cited a source close to Woods’ wife as saying that a “divorce is 100 percent on.” The source said Nordegren plans to move cautiously while waiting to see if there are any new allegations of infidelity.

To make things even worse for Elin, the TYLER INVESTIGATIVE TEAM! has learned that sexy UK model Alice Goodwin got FF implants and then pranced around with her shirt off while Zoo magazine took pictures. So now Elin can’t even get a picture in stories that are about her. This poor girl just can’t catch a break.

Read more >

australia kicks ass

By brendon December 17, 2009 @ 10:21 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Lara Bingle Posing For Bikini Photoshoot In Sydney (U

Aussie model Lara Bingle stripped down to a bikini for a photo shoot on Tamarama Beach in Sydney yesterday, and I don’t know who that is but she’s hot and has that sexy as fuck Aussie accent so who cares. Her name is kind of goofy though. She should change it. Tamarama Beach would be a good name if she ever does porn, because it’s fun to say Tamarama but also because lots of foreign porn stars have some reference to where they’re from in their name. Like all the Asian porn stars with some version of Asia or Thai or whatever. Guys don’t have that problem. That’s why I do porn under the name Fillmore Bush. That’s a name that commands respect no matter where you’re from.

(picture source = flynet online)

rollergirl knows how to dress

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 6:25 PM

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Heather Graham went to London for the world premiere of Guy Richies Sherlock Holmes movie (co-starring the great and wildly underrated Mark Strong), and not only did this hot bitch choose a dress that was tight enough to cut off circulation to her hands and feet, she chose one that was white. White is a good color on girls, one that isn’t worn enough. I should open a club where girls can only wear white. A “Whites Only” policy, if you will. I think an interesting gimmick like that will make my club stand out in an overcrowded marketplace. Easy Street, here I come!

(picture source = wenn and getty)

rihanna is a good model

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 5:03 PM

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Rihannas new photo shoot for GQ, specifically the picture above, is fantastic for see-through shirt based reasons, but it’s the toothpick in her mouth that makes it. It’s like you two are about to get it on, and now it’s time to go to war. She’s all steely eyed and focused. Any girl who looks like that is serious about doin’ it, and you better buckle the fuck up before she sucks your penis off and beats you with it.

save some cocaine for the rest of hollywood, nicole

By brendon December 16, 2009 @ 3:55 PM

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I’d rather have the doors lock behind me on a 6-month gay pleasure cruise than in a movie theater showing ‘Nine’. I wouldn’t go see that crap even if the name alluded to the number of blowjobs I would get from Kimberly Phillips if I did. But Nicole Kidman had to go to last nights premiere because she’s in that POS, and to make it more exciting she buried her face in a mountain of cocaine first. HOLY CHRIST, NOW THIS MOVIE IS FUKCIN AMAZING!

(picture source = fame and getty)