AMYS MOM IS AN IDIOT TOO

By brendon August 01, 2008 @ 6:22 AM

It’s no wonder Amy Winehouse won’t go into recovery to address her drug addiction.  No one around her seems to think there’s any problem.  Earlier this week her dad said someone must have slipped her the drugs that sent her to the hospital, now her mom says the hospital stay was simply because Amy took a wrong dose of prescribed medication.  

But according to the 24-year-old's mother Janis, the hospital visit was simply a matter of human error.
"The truth is that Amy ended up in hospital this week because she mixed up the medication she's taking to help her come off drugs," she told the Daily Mirror newspaper.
"She took a wrong tablet."
And according to the Grammy winner's mother, her recent diagnosis with lung disease has encouraged her to steer clear of recreational drugs.
"I really don't think she's using now," she claimed. "Being diagnosed with the early stage of emphysema was a real jolt to her. A bit of a wake-up call."
She added: "Mind you, I think she does have the odd sneaky cigarette. Give her a break, she's not a miracle worker."

Yeah that must have been it.  Amy mixed up her meds.  That’s how prescriptions work, you take the wrong one and you die.  That’s what doctors do.  They give you a red pill to take at 9, and a blue pill to take at 10, but if you take the blue pill at 9, you burst into flames.  Or sometimes they’ll bury your insulin and give you a map to find it, but first you must defeat three terrifying curses, each one more terrifying than the last.

JAMIE SPEARS IS STILL IN CONTROL

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 12:24 PM

On February 1st, Jamie Spears was named the conservator of his daughter Britney’s estate, and despite a lifetime of inept parenting up until that point, there’s no denying that Britney Spears seems better off because of it.  She just seems healthier.  Less crazy.  And today a judge saw no reason to mix things up just yet, and named Jamie as conservator until December 31st of this year (source = people.com).  This would seemingly guarantee there will be no more of her head-shaving, paparazzi -attacking, vagina-flashing antics.  I’ve got two words for Jamie Spears: poison cookies.  I'll get you for this you bastard!



WOMEN TEND TO NOT FORGET THIS STUFF

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 10:20 AM

Despite these pictures of him making out with a topless Sienna Miller two weeks ago in Italy, and a public declaration last week that his marriage is over and has been for months, TMZ says today that Balthazar Getty is trying desperately to reconcile with his wife.  To her great credit, she is so far unmoved.

As we first reported, after Getty was caught out in the open with a buck naked Sienna Miller, Getty had been emailing wifey Rosetta, "I love you."
Now, in the "You Should Bottle that Chutzpah" department, we've learned Getty continues to send a flurry of emails to Rosetta, the mother of his 4 children. In the emails Getty writes, "I love you," "I miss you," and says he wants to move back into the house. He does not say if he's cut off his relationship with Sienna.
We're also told Balthazar has been calling Rosetta incessantly. She refuses to answer and he hangs up. In short, she wants nothing to do with him.
And the plot thickens. We're told the people on his show, "Brothers and Sisters," for the most part have voiced support for Rosetta. And, we're told, Getty's own family is "solidly behind her," calling the he-homewrecker "disgusting."

It is pretty brazen to make out with a topless blond chick on a lake in Italy and then ask for your wife to take you back, but in his defense, that seems like fun.

BRITNEY HAS A NEW MAN

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 8:59 AM

The Sun UK says today that the mystery guy in these pictures is Britney’s bodyguard/new boyfriend, a former Israeli soldier known so far only as "Lee".

A source said: “Britney and Lee hit it off immediately.  He is her perfect type. She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army.  He also has a few tattoos, which she loves. They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical.  They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time — Lee’s put a smile on her face.”

Eww.  The idea of banging Britney at this point is gross, I don’t care what she looks like.  The corral of retards that have already been in that is discouragement enough.   That list of guys is like something a girl would do if she hated her vagina and wanted to punish it.  She might as well just attack it with her shoe.

TOM CRUISE IS IN TROUBLE

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 7:15 AM

The New York Daily News says today that Tom Cruise has been named in a $250 million federal lawsuit against the Church of Scientology.  Hahahaha, you suck Tom Cruise.  Goofy bastard.  THE NYDN says…

Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left.
In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer's wife answered, said he was her husband's homosexual lover.
Letterese calls the church a "crime syndicate" and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families.
He singles out Cruise, who's made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is "aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars."

This guy is crazy.  Scientology is legit.  I took their personality test one time and it turns out I like to have fun.  And I thought about it and they were right.  Just a week earlier I had hit my thumb with a hammer and I didn’t care for that at all.  How did Scientology know?!?!?!  Here’s some money, tell me more!!!

RIHANNA FORGOT SOMETHING

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 6:26 AM

Rihanna left boyfriend Chirs Brown (I have no idea who that is) at home last night while she hit the clubs in NYC in a kick ass see thru top.  Although maybe I wish she hadn’t.  That bitch is hot as hell but her breasts look kind of weird.  I believe the technical term is, "saucer nips".  I read that in a science magazine about women.  It was called, "Sexy Chocolate Mamas".

ANGELINA JOLIE AS CATWOMAN?

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 5:58 AM

For like 12 hours the greatest rumor in the world has been that Angelina Jolie is after the role of Catwoman in the third Batman movie, who some say will be called "Gotham", from director Chris Nolan.  The Telegraph UK says…

The actress, who gave birth to twins earlier this month, is reported to have already made enquiries with film executives about playing the part.  Julie Newmar, who played the feline villain in the 1960s Batman television series, said Jolie would make a fantastic Catwoman should the character be reprised.  Ms Newmar, 74, said: "Angelina would own the part. My industry friends tell me she has already made enquiries about the role. I can understand how it would pique her interest. Catwoman is Batman's one true love."

Unfortunately I don’t think there’s an ounce of validity to this.  I'm sure Julie Newmar is a very nice woman but she's not really in a postion to get this kind of information.  A third script, and as of now it’s not even definite there will be one from Nolan, is years from being completed, and there’s no telling what direction it might take.  But of course Jolie would be perfect.  I think a good idea for the movie would be one where Catwoman, I don't know, steals some diamonds or some shit, and then masturbates in the shower for two hours to unwind.  The End.



BAR RAFAELI IS KIND OF CUTE – UPDATE

By brendon July 30, 2008 @ 9:29 AM

Bar Rafaeli is in St Tropez this week, and she better watch out because all the other supermodels must hate her.  She’s so much hotter than everyone one it’s embarrassing.  The only way she could get any more awesome in these pictures is if she morphed into a robot fighting tiger with rockets as feet and beat up some kind of giant monkey.

(picture source = inf daily, updated pics from bauer griffin, UHQ of some of these over on less clothes)