a little somethin for the ladies…

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 3:29 PM

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If you think Mel Gibson looks like an insane old redneck during TV interviews, when he’s not on a hotel balcony in a pair of unbuttoned jeans with his ass crack showing and his shirt off while smoking and laughing manically at his buddy who looks like a weed dealer and also has his shirt off, just wait until you see the exact opposite of that.

(image source of Gibson today in Cannes = pacific coast)

Angelina Jolie is awesome, part 2

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 2:21 PM

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If you’re a dumb selfish whore like Lindsay Lohan, you blow guys you suspect might have coke. More to the point, you never even dream of doing anything selfless unless you just got out of jail and need good publicity. At that point you’d find some kids with dirt on them, call the paparazzi, then never ever go back.

Angelina Jolie on the other hand went to Ramstein Air Force base in Germany four days ago to visit wounded soldiers, but there were no paparazzi pictures and it wasn’t in the press, because she didn’t tell anyone she was doing it. It was the same way when she went to Walter Reed. Because for her, that’s not the point.

By comparison, here’s an impression of the very same trip if it had been Jennifer Lopez and she just sat near someone with a heart monitor: “I SAID TURN IT THE FUCK OFF! THE MIC CAN’T EVEN HEAR ME BEING NICE WITH ALL THAT GOD DAMNED BEEPING!”

Charlie Sheen borrowed $10M from Warner Bros. last year

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 12:46 PM

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Back in March it was reported that Charlie Sheen was essentially broke, which seemed impossible because, in 8 seasons, he filmed 177 episodes of ‘Two And A Half Men’. The first year he made $160,000 a week. $3.84 million for the year. After that he was paid $850,000 for each of the next 137 episodes. That’s a total of $116,450,000. Last year he got a raise paying a total of around $2 million a week, or $32 million for the season.

All together, he made over $152 million dollars.

And yet…

TMZ has obtained Charlie’s contract for Season 7 (2010 – 2011).  The document — dated May 17, 2010 — requires Warner Bros. to pay Charlie $10 million within 10 days of the date Charlie signed.  Charlie was then obligated to pay the money back during the first 13 episodes.
Charlie was fired after the 16th episode, so Warner Bros. got its money back.
As for why Charlie needed the money … unclear.

Oh, is it “unclear”? Is it really? I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that he blew it on drugs and prostitutes. I can’t explain it. I’ve just got this feeling.

Arnold Shwarzenegger cheated, had a bastard child with a maid

By brendon May 17, 2011 @ 9:17 AM

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It was surprising when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced that they were separating after 25 years of marriage, but luckily Arnold has a back-up familia already in place.

The LA Times, who broke the story last night, says Arnold had a relationship with a woman who worked for Arnold and Maria as a member of their household staff for 20 years. About 10 years ago they had a child, but the woman, who was also married at the time and whom the LA Times won’t name, kept working for the couple until this past January.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, separated after she learned he had fathered a child more than a decade ago with a longtime member of their household staff.
Shriver moved out of the family’s Brentwood mansion earlier this year, after Schwarzenegger acknowledged the paternity.

After being questioned by the Times, Arnold issued this statement.

“After leaving the governor’s office I told my wife about this event, which occurred over a decade ago. I understand and deserve the feelings of anger and disappointment among my friends and family. There are no excuses and I take full responsibility for the hurt I have caused. I have apologized to Maria, my children and my family. I am truly sorry.
I ask that the media respect my wife and children through this extremely difficult time. While I deserve your attention and criticism, my family does not. “

Shriver has only issued a “no comment”, probably in hopes that Oprah can squeeze her in this week, but Arnold picked the right girl to cheat with because she was still sticking to her story last night.

In an interview Monday before Schwarzenegger issued his statement, the former staffer said another man — her then-husband — was the child’s father.
She said she voluntarily left her position with the couple earlier this year after reaching a longstanding goal of working for them for two decades. “I wanted to achieve my 20 years, then I asked to retire,” she said, adding she received a severance payment and “left on good terms with them.”
Schwarzenegger took financial responsibility for the child from the start and continued to provide support, according to a source.

Due to my awesome level of racism, I’m gonna assume this woman is Latin because it sounds like she was a maid. So if her husband was also Latin, he had to have a few questions. Like, why is our infant 4-feet tall with veins in his biceps.

its Katie Holmes in a, um, bikini?

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 7:33 PM

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Katie Holmes was in Miami today, teaching her daughter Suri how to swim at their hotels pool, and then, right in front of everyone, she paraded around like some tarted up whore. You could see her back and ankles and everything. Where are my stones!

(image source = splash news and fame)

headlines, with a “belligerently drunk” Lindsay Lohan

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 6:25 PM

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LINDSAY LOHAN – was in a bar, “belligerently drunk” and “falling all over the place” after doing shots “all night” Saturday, then around 2am she grabbed the wrist of a girl trying to take her picture while a friend took the girls camera and dunked it in an ice bucket. Why would she do this just 3 days after getting yet another “last chance” from a judge? Because Lindsay is an asshole, that’s why. (radar)

M BONE – of Cali Swag District (the group behind the dougie dance) was shot and killed during a drive-by outside a liquor store last night, perhaps by a guy he got into a fight with on twitter over a girl. If you have any information, contact the police on Black Stereotype Island. (tmz)

DONALD TRUMP – will not run for President, just like lots of other completely unqualified people with no chance of winning. (us)

GRETCHEN ROSSI – wore a bikini this weekend. “Who is Gretchen Rossi”, you may ask? Well that’s that’s a good question. I like your inquisitive nature. Let me know what you turn up. (bauer griffin)

Brad Pitt looks like this now

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 4:49 PM

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Brad Pitt (seen here showing us what a Jeff Bridges ‘Miami Vice’ movie could have looked like) is in Cannes today for the premiere of ‘the Tree Of Life’, which is getting mixed reviews. Unlike his hair and beard, which will be universally mocked. I never thought I’d see this day but it’s almost to the point where I can say I’m better looking than Brad Pitt without someone saying, “oh yeah, you sure are”, and then applauding slowly and sarcastically.

(image source = getty and inf)

at least JWoww is kind of hot

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 3:32 PM

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‘Jersey Shore’ has only been in Florence for a few days, but JWoww didn’t waste any time in going to the gym and showing off her tits and abs. After that she went tanning. Laundry was no doubt next. Unfortunately Snooki was there too and ruined any chance America had of making a good impression. If I were Italy and some country sent that over and it was in spandex shorts and then started sweating, I’d consider it an act of war. “Why you senda this rat-lady in’a to’a my country,” I’d say after putting down my dainty expresso cup.

(image source = inf and bauer griffin)