lets class this mutha fukka up

I think everyone can agree that tea is a pretty faggity drink, so where does this dude get off trying to act all tough. He went out of his way to choose the name Ice-T. What gang was he in, the Kool Aid Kids? Someone named “Ice-T” would only be tough in a comic you get... read more

hot girl-on-girl axxxtion!

Damn, check this out. These bitches are ready to party. You take the one on the left. I know she's short, but dude I’m tellin you, she’s 18. I can just tell. I’ll take the MILF on the right, who was the subject of roughly 75 percent of my teen sexual fantasies.(image... read more

bring on the sex tape

I thought the lady from that couple on “League of Gentleman” was actually a dude in disguise, but apparently not because yesterday they went for a walk through Hollywood with their son, Jerry O’Connell. His dad is even more handsome now than he was on the show. So... read more

jennifer love chewit sure showed me

I used to be skeptical that Jennifer Love Hewitt really lost 18 pounds like she claimed on the cover of Us magazine, but then they compared two older candid pictures taken from the front to one professional picture from the side. That shut me up good. I thought she had a... read more

mels new woman was in maxim

It’s still hard to figure out if Mel Gibsons new Rooskie girlfriend is hot, but getting naked and oiled up was very much a step in the right direction. She’s in that very rare gray area. It seems like 50 percent of Russian girls are so impossibly hot, we should grind up... read more

matthew mcconaughey was smooth

Matthew McConaughey says in this month’s Elle magazine that when he was a young man getting to know the pleasure of life, the vagina was still a confusing pit of mystery, a riddle that not even softcore porn could unlock. "From checking out Playboy I always thought —... read more

kendra was a good choice

Levis had everything in place for yesterdays Power Slide competition in Santa Monica:- Kendra Wilkinson sliding on something? Check- Kendra in a push-up bra and slutty shirt? Done.- A midget, preferably Wee-Man? You know it. Someone should play Sabre Dance whenever she's... read more

lindsay is sending mixed signals

Lindsay says she’s tired of being a target of the paparazzi, but it's kind of hard to believe she hates the attention when she goes to clubs night after night after night. When you commit to an action that has one possible result, 100 percent of the time, it’s hard to... read more

heidi klum is pregnant

Heidi Klum is so impossibly gd good looking that, even when you combine her DNA with Seals, hers is so hot the result is a cute kid. She could probably mate with an actual seal and the result would still be a kid better looking than 90 percent of earth. And its a good... read more

lindsay wont go to rehab

I have no trouble believing that those who care for her want Lindsay Lohan to give rehab one more chance, but OK pushes the limits of credibility when they claim her mom Dina was one of those people. In the predawn hours of what should have been a peaceful Easter, Lindsay... read more

vanessa has weird toes

Celebrity interviewing climbed to even greater heights this month when Self magazine (via the Sun UK) got Vanessa Hudgens to talk about her legs and feet for five minutes. Magazines are dying, huh? I wonder what the problem could be. "I’ve got big calves that look good.... read more

hulk hogan agrees with oj simpson

We could go back and forth all day trying to figure out who killed what, while throwing out a bunch of technical mumbo-jumbo about “murderer” this and “blood soaked” that, but you have to admit that OJ Simpson pays a lot less alimony than Hulk Hogan. A fact Hogan is very... read more