Claudia Romani In A Bikini

June 7, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The good ones know how to act surprised to see the cameras. Oh, hey, what are you doing here even though my publicity firm just called you to tell you I was going to the beach in my bikini. Fuck it. All that nonsense seems superfluous in the face of a woman with an amazing […]

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Miley Cyrus’ Brother Launches Modeling Career, Maxim Names Him Hottest Woman in the World

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s always one kid who gets fucked in every famous family. The Cyrus family has Braison. He’s not fucked like older brother Trace who wants desperately to be a musician but he doesn’t have tits so people are actually judging him on his ability. But he’s fucked in the sense that all the good low […]

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Joanna Krupa Squats By The Pool

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’ve got to secrete you remote audio pack somewhere when you’re a reality show starlet ever in skin tight dresses. Khloe Kardashian once swallowed her lavalier mic whole. She’s committed. And really fucking hungry. But why not under your dress up against your privates. What’s the worst that could happen? Photo Credit: PCN

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Kristen Stewart Tries To Jessica Chastain Up

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Soulless troll Kristen Stewart has joined the war on terror in her new movie set in Guantanamo Bay. In Camp X-Ray, (stupid fucking title), she plays a cow-eyed boring girl with a bad attitude that joins the military and is sent to Gitmo where she presumably falls in love with a glittery fey terrorist. This […]

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Farrah Abraham In A Bikini

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It was Anal Bottom Porn Workers Day at the beach today, so Farrah Abraham showed up with a bunch of really buffed dudes with forlorn looks on their faces. At one point Farrah told her peers that Backdoor Teen Mom was definitely her first and last anal sex work and everybody had a good chuckle. […]

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Don’t Worry, Paris, LaToya’s Got You, Sweetie (VIDEO)

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Everybody is searching for suicidal clues in Paris Jackson’s last posted video on YouTube. I’ve seen it twice and it only reminds me how utterly annoying teenage girls are. If I watch it a third time, I might slit my… yeah, you know. Meanwhile, La Toya clangs the dysfunctional Jackson family dinner bell. “We are […]

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Russell Brand Is Still Talking About Katy Perry

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Katy Perry and Russell Brand knew each other for a little more than a year before they got married in 2010, and they’d been married a little more than one year before they filed for divorce in 2011. So it’s safe to say that neither of them is in much of a position to offer […]

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Bruce Jenner Whined About Plastic Surgery Jokes To Jimmy Fallon (VIDEO)

June 6, 2013 | video | Brendon| 0 Comments

Bruce Jenner is more known for being that creepy old man who sometimes hangs out with Kim Kardashian and her family than he is for being a hugely successful Olympic athlete back in the day, and that’s fine because Michael Phelps just won a ton of medals and we don’t give a shit about him […]

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Kim Kardashian In Pregnant, Armless Statue Form

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Sculptor Daniel Edwards is famous for his controversial nude celebrity statues, from pregnant Britney Spears presenting herself on a bear skin rug to bronzed Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez with their pet goose, and now he’s added to the collection with a statue of nude, pregnant Kim Kardashian, complete with a large belly, huge ass […]

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