the Justin Bieber vs Marg Helgenberger war rages on

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 4:56 PM


Last week, ‘CSI’ star Marg Helgenberger gave an interview on French radio, and it turns out that she and I agree; Justin Bieber is kind of a dick. Though her opinion is based on first hand experience, mine almost entirely on spite.

“Justin Bieber wasn’t bad,” Helgenberger explained of her 17-year old costar. “He had never acted before. I shouldn’t be saying this, but he’s kind of a brat. He was actually very nice to me, but he locked one of the producers in the closet. And he put his fist through a cake that was on the table.”

So today, Bieber fought back in the gayest way possible, by tweeting the hashtag “#killemwithkindness”, then posting…

– “It’s kinda lame when someone you met briefly and never worked with comments on you. I will continue to wish them luck and be kind.”
– “I know who i am and sometimes people r just going 2 say what they want. Keep ur head up and be the man ur mama raised.”
– “There is ALWAYS Gunna Be People Telling you can’t do something, There’s always gunna be haters, Just Keep Smiling.”

Yeah that must have been how it happened. There was a hater telling Justin he couldn’t punch through a cake. Kids can be so mean these days.

Whitney Houston is in rehab

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 3:01 PM


Whitney Houston has been drinking and doing drugs for about 20 years now, and she’s been in rehab twice, once in 2004 and again a year later, but apparently she still has a problem. So with that in mind she is now…

A) turning herself over to experts and following their every order to address a problem that is obviously out of her control.


B) doing the absolute minimum, because that should be good enough.

Ok now let’s see what the answer is. I bet it’s surprising!

“Whitney Houston is currently in an out-patient rehab program for drug and alcohol treatment,” her rep tells PEOPLE in a statement. “Whitney voluntarily entered the program to support her long-standing recovery process.”

With this program, Whitney still lives at home and does all the same stuff she normally does, in the all the same places, but monitored by a “sober companion”. Which is someone who makes 8 dollars an hour to follow Whiteny around and lecture her. Knowing Whitney, this has success written all over it. She’s probably already cured.

Monday headlines, with X Factor and secret Avenger endings

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 1:09 PM

PAULA ABDUL – has officially signed on to reunite with Simon Cowell and be the fourth judge on ‘the X Factor’, because what the hell else is she gonna do. (thr)

THORS END CREDITS – had the fourth clip building up to next summers ‘the Avengers’, (the first 3 from ‘Iron Man’, ‘Iron Man 2′ and ‘the Incredible Hulk’ are above and here) but what does it mean? For one it means I was trapped in the center of the row for the entire credits because the nerds on either side of me wouldn’t move. (ew)

L.A. REID – has reportedly been meaner than Simon Cowell during the early judging on ‘the X Factor’. I’m sure they’ll fix that in post though so all the singers on the show are good and no one get’s made fun of. Fox certainly doesn’t want a show like that. (thr)

THOR – won the weekend box office with a 66 million dollar debut ($242M worldwide), beating ‘Fast Five’ ($32.5M) and the debuts for ‘Jumping the Broom’ ($13.7M) and ‘Something Borrowed’ ($13.1M), which were set up to be an alternative so girls could emasculate their boyfriend. (deadline)

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Eyes up here, Mickey

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 11:48 AM


Vanessa Hudgens went to the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides’ premiere at Disneyland on Saturday night, in a dress that mostly distracted everyone from the bucket of makeup she was wearing. Even Mickey Mouse, who later had to awkwardly explain to some kids that now would not be a good time to sit in his lap for a picture.

(image source = getty)

Jessica Simpson is freezing and/or really hot

By brendon May 09, 2011 @ 9:40 AM


Jessica Simpson, her fiance Eric Johnson, her sister Ashlee and Ashlees son Bronx, sat down for a photo shoot on Saturday in Beverly Hills, where it must have been really hot below three feet and really chilly above that. Later, rain clouds formed around Jessicas waist when the two fronts collided.

(image source = flynet)

Friday headlines, with Lindsay Lohan and green ooze

By brendon May 06, 2011 @ 5:46 PM


THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – had it’s first day of filming today in India, and already there are mysterious pictures from the set showing a green ooze. And the internet is all, “Is that the Lazarus Pit? Is Ra’s al Ghul in this? That’s so stupid, that doesn’t fit the canon, this is Batman in real life! This movie sucks, I hate it!” (latino review)

WHITNEY HOUSTONS DAUGHTER – was arrested for possession of alcohol (she’s 18) after some kind of gun fight between her friends and her ex boyfriend. A shocked and frightened Whitney has heard to ask, “Does anyone know what happened to the alcohol, where is it now?” (the enquirer)

THE OFFICE – had it’s first episode with Will Ferrell replacing Steve Carell last night, and the ratings were down 17 percent. If I were them I’d just keep saying Carell is on it and see how long before people figure it out. (thr)

THOR – has 175 reviews so far, and an impressive 80 percent of them are positive. Although a lot of them sound like Hollywood has lowered our summer expectations to a degree where all you have to do to get a good review is not completely fuck everything up. (rotten tomatoes)

X MEN FIRST CLASS – has a new character trailer, this time for Mystique, who is played by Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence. Of course if she was any good she would have won. If Julia Roberts has one, how hard could it really be. (youtube)

LINDSAY LOHAN – began her community service today at a women’s shelter in Los Angeles, although you’re forgiven if you assumed the green ooze in the headline was going to have something to do with her vagina. In your defense we’re still not sure it doesn’t. (inf)

Rose McGowan knows how to workout

By brendon May 06, 2011 @ 4:36 PM


Rose McGowan went to a gym near her home in Studio City this morning, and just so it’s clear, as long as actresses and models with hot asses continue to wear yoga pants, I’ll continue to pretend like it’s news.

(image source = fame)

LeAnn Rimes is still stalking her husbands ex

By brendon May 06, 2011 @ 4:04 PM


Seemingly lost on LeAnn Rimes is that Eddie Cibrian divorced Brandi Glanville to be with her, because over the past few months she has essentially turned herself into Brandi. From her weight to her tits to her wedding, even to her twitter pics, LeAnn has done everything she can to become, in a very real and terrifying sense, her husbands ex wife. And now you can add this to the list. E! says…

Despite having no kids of her own, the newlywed country star couldn’t resist taking to Twitter to suggest she deserves a share of the spotlight as a “bonus mom” helping care for the two sons new hubby Eddie Cibrian had with his ex, Brandi Glanville.
“Happy Mother’s day weekend to all the Mom’s out there.,” LeAnn tweeted, paying tribute to the “Bonus Moms’, Godmother’s, Grandmothers and anyone who is a woman who helps love and raise children.”

So when Brandi inevitably wakes up one night to find LeAnn at the foot of her bed, wearing Brandis perfume and bra and panties and holding a knife, I think a good headline would be, LeAnn Crimes!