I’m still having ridiculous tech issues over here because of the retards who run comcast. No one has any idea what the fuck is going on. It’s not on their screen. They don’t know what’s wrong but it’s definitely not on their screen. Whatever the problem might be, it’s gonna be on a different screen, and they don’t have that screen or know who does. There’s an omnipotent screen somewhere that can tell me why my internet went off and why no one has been to my house to turn it back on, but only those of the pure at heart can ask it questions. It’s like Excalibur. And none of those people are the ones who answer the phone. I can’t even tell if they have a screen. I asked if they did and if it was turned on and they assured me it was but I wasn’t convinced. All they did was repeat my question back to me but prefaced it by saying “no.” And then they told more about the Good News of the Magic Screen.
Tabloids have been claiming that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are breaking up any minute now since at least 2006. Here’s a post from May of 2007 about it. Yet they’re still together, and in fact they seemed pretty happy two days ago as their adopted New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl.
So maybe that’s why they’re suing the London tabloid the News Of The World, who claimed Pitt and Jolie met with attorneys in December to divide their assets and work out custody of their children. The BBC says…
The couple’s lawyer, Keith Schilling, called the “widely republished” allegations “false and intrusive”.
He added the paper had failed to meet “reasonable demands” for an apology.
He said the pair had also asked for a retraction of the allegations, which had subsequently been “widely republished by mainstream news outlets”.
A statement from Schillings Lawyers also noted that Sorrell Trope, identified by some publications as a divorce lawyer advising Pitt and Jolie, had never met them.
“I have had no contact from… Angelina Jolie and / or Brad Pitt,” said Trope in a letter quoted in the statement.
“I have never met… your clients or had any involvement with either of them. The foregoing is true with respect to all other members of this firm.”
Pitt must be a really nice guy. Aren’t there Russian generals selling bio-weapons for like a million dollars? What the hell is he waiting for? If I were rich I would definitely use it to terrify people and attack them into submission. But only my enemies. I’m tough but fair.
People make fun of Tom Arnold, but Sunday he tackled Marisa Miller during a flag football game in Miami before the Super Bowl and had the good sense to pull her pants down. So who’s laughing now? Not the people on the other team after this play, the ones who had Tom running after them with an erection, I can tell you that.
NOTE - there were only two posts yesterday and I’ll spare you the details but comcast can suck my dick. Should be back to normal today though.
Jennifer Aniston and her barren womb went down to Mexico this weekend with some friends, including apparent boyfriend Gerard Butler and Courteney Cox. Aniston looks okay but that’s because these pictures were taken from a million miles away. Much like how pictures of the Loch Ness monster look real but when you see it up close you realize it’s a haphazardly thrown together mess. So Jennifer Aniston and monsters have more in common than you might have thought.
(source = splash news online)
Lots of fancy Hollywood stars descended on Miami this weekend to watch the New Orleans Saints win Superbowl 44, among them ‘Gossip Girl’ star Blake Lively, who hung out on her hotel balcony in a bikini with Chace Crawford. God knows why he was there but it sure as hell wasn’t for football and girls in bikinis. He’s what would happen if two gay guys could reproduce, and they had a son. And that son f’d another dude and they had a son, and so on and so on for a few generations, until eventually any heterosexual genes were replaced by completely fabulous ones rollerblading around in a tank top and tiny shorts.
It seems impossible that this is a coincidence, but a photographer taking pictures of Charlie Sheens Mercedes’, the car that was stolen from his home then driven off Mullholland to crash down to the valley below, found a second car. This one is Bentley, and it’s not yet known if anyone is inside or at least was when it crashed.
If it is Sheens, and someone is doing this to get back at him for something, someone sure had a busy night. And good for them. It’s important to stay busy. Idle hands are the devils workshop.
It had to be disappointing for
Denise Richards whoever stole Charlie Sheens car and drove it off a cliff that the car didn’t explode in a big fireball. That he wasn’t in the car when it happened is also unfortunate. Actually if he could have been in the car, then had the car also hit him when it came to the bottom, then if someone could have taken his coffin and thrown that down into the canyon too, that would have been terrific.
Ian Halperin is a well known Hollywood reporter who routinely reports things that are either categorically untrue or already well known to anyone who pays attention. But he’s also had New York Times bestsellers and his Michael Jackson book was well reviewed by respected sources.
Point being, he was on Opie and Anthony this morning talking about Leif Garrett (if you don’t know who that is just imagine Robert Pattinson, but 30 years ago and with feathered hair), who was arrested again just Monday for possession of heroin. Halperin says Garrett now works as a male prostitute who has sex with female fans for $5000 a session. And Halperin ads that there are several other former teen stars who do the same thing.
This seems incredibly hard to believe, and it’s almost certainly bullshit, but just because I don’t believe it doesn’t mean it’s not true. For example I sometimes can’t believe how sexy I am, but look. Here I am. Bein all sexy.