Demi Moore is not bad

Demi Moore is 46, and this is her today in a bikini in the Bahamas. That Benjamin Button thing isn't real is it? Because she seems to get better looking, her body gets in better shape, with every passing year. If this keeps up she'll win Miss Teen USA in 2027. (hq jump ... read more

Please kill yourself

There's a very good reason why Gwyneth Paltrow is widely considered the most annoying person in Hollywood. If you've forgotten what that might be, here's her latest newsletter to talk down to you remind you. As I write this, I am finishing the amazing three-week-long... read more

This is gross

Just about two weeks ago, The Enquirer claimed Morgan Freeman, who is 72, has been having a nearly 10 year affair with his step-granddaughter, 27-year-old E'Dina Hines. Now they ratchet up the uncomfortable imagery by saying Morgan and E'Dina are set to get married. She... read more

Lindsay really is a bitch

Remember when Johnny Depp tipped a waiter $4000 two weeks ago? Okay, well this is the exact opposite of that, mainly because Depp understands his good fortune in life and is grateful for it, whereas Lindsay Lohan is a spoiled whore. The Sun says... LINDSAY LOHAN found... read more

Is that a lot?

The National Enquirer goes on sale today with a cover story claiming Michael Jackson took… well I mean you can see it. It's right there. That's more than 50 pills a day ... more than 30 different types of drugs "for a variety of real and imagined" problems, according to... read more

31 million people

In all likelihood, Michael Jacksons memorial service was the most watched funeral or whatever thing of all time. More than 31 million people watched the service on television, the third highest number ever for a televised funeral, only behind Princess Diana in 1997 (33... read more

Afternoon headlines

MILEY CYRUS - Popeater has some uncomfortably sexy pictures of Miley from this months Elle magazine. Is it wrong to objectify a young religious teenager in a fashion magazine? Even I have lines that can't be crossed. That's not one of them though. (popeater) ASHLEY OLSEN... read more

Lady GaGa got my letters

Lady Gaga is in Floriana, Malta today to attend some MTV press conference, but more to the point she went there with this flattering bandage thing wrapped around her fug head. And I just wanted to say thank you. Look, she's not attractive (makeup-free proof here and here... read more

Lindsay turned down "the Hangover"

Judd Apatow has a pretty good resume with comedies, yet when Lindsay Lohan was offered the lead in "Knocked Up", the role that went to Katherine Heigl, Lindsay turned it down. Todd Phillips also has a pretty good resume with comedies. His latest, "the Hangover", has made... read more

Run for your lives - update

The Michael Jackson memorial was as stupid and pretentious as most thought it would be, but sitting through it was worth every second to get to this guy. This guy is the absolute best. Number 1. Him and his crazy eyes and sinister expressions. It's like we're on a... read more

And here we go

Live Broadcast by Ustream.TV I'm just gonna add pictures and updates here all day. All the networks are running live coverage of course. In fact one just said if the dam were to break, thousands would be killed almost instantly. But that's because I was watching Mega... read more

brace yourself

It would be awesome if those drums were Decepticons waiting to pounce on everyone involved with Michael Jacksons memorial later this morning. Seems unlikely. Hopefully you're fascinated by all this because today is gonna be dominated by Michael Jackson like it was a... read more