The Guy From Sum 41 Is Doing Great

June 7, 2013 | Uncategorized | Brendon| 0 Comments

Things must be a little tough for Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley these days, what with his ex-wife, Avril Lavigne, being engaged to Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger so they can eventually give birth to the music industry’s antichrist. So it was nice to see Deryck get back on that horse and head out to the Tom […]

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Hello, 2013 Miss USA Contestants

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Say what you want about Donald Trump – he’s an egomaniacal monster with hair that was scraped off the floor of an animal kill shelter or he’s a brilliant social troll who knows how to keep his name relevant my pushing the buttons of easily enraged buffoons for the sake of his stale TV show […]

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Kris Jenner’s Talk Show Still Looks Awful (VIDEO)

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Long before reality TV shows became the perfect way for people with absolutely no talent to pretend like they were celebrities, networks handed out talk shows to keep semi-relevant people like Magic Johnson and Chevy Chase in the spotlight. Meanwhile, people with actual talent, like Oprah and Ellen, realized daytime talk shows could easily entertain […]

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Justin Bieber Galactic Warrior

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t know what genius convinced the artist Justin Bieber to sign up for space travel, but very well done. An imp conceived in the Underworld like this twatnut can not be destroyed while within his earthly confines. Just imagine how many have tried to snuff out his bright light. But when he rockets out […]

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Amy Adams Has Nipples

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Amy Adams seems like such a good girl. I wasn’t sure she had nipples. But I think I see one. I assume it dispenses soy milk and sings during rainstorms to keep the kids entertained when they can’t play outside. Photo Credit: Elle UK

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Man Stabs Himself at the Today Show

June 7, 2013 | News | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Apparently, the man had no real gripes or complaints or history of mental illness. He just could not fucking stand banal chatter between heavily made-up NBC anchors on the portico of Rockefeller Center. Just kidding. He was pissed at the IRS and the government for ruining his life. Just like the rest of the loons […]

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Shit Mail Express (VIDEO)

June 7, 2013 | News | Brendon| 0 Comments

A small Spanish town called Brunete has instituted a new city campaign where people who don’t clean up after their dogs get that shit mailed to them. I rarely advocate that we implement European policies here in the United Goddamn States of Motherfucking America, but this law is awesome. Volunteers follow around assholes who don’t […]

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Claudia Romani In A Bikini

June 7, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The good ones know how to act surprised to see the cameras. Oh, hey, what are you doing here even though my publicity firm just called you to tell you I was going to the beach in my bikini. Fuck it. All that nonsense seems superfluous in the face of a woman with an amazing […]

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Miley Cyrus’ Brother Launches Modeling Career, Maxim Names Him Hottest Woman in the World

June 7, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s always one kid who gets fucked in every famous family. The Cyrus family has Braison. He’s not fucked like older brother Trace who wants desperately to be a musician but he doesn’t have tits so people are actually judging him on his ability. But he’s fucked in the sense that all the good low […]

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Joanna Krupa Squats By The Pool

June 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You’ve got to secrete you remote audio pack somewhere when you’re a reality show starlet ever in skin tight dresses. Khloe Kardashian once swallowed her lavalier mic whole. She’s committed. And really fucking hungry. But why not under your dress up against your privates. What’s the worst that could happen? Photo Credit: PCN

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