Samuel L. Jackson says its motherfuckin bedtime

'Go The Fuck To Sleep' is a bedtime story for children as told by someone who's had it with this bullshit, and now it's an audio book read by Samuel L. Jackson. So if you know what's good for you, you little bastards will wash away your cares and drift away to dreamland,... read more

Vanessa Hudgens is being wasted

Vanessa Hudgens has taken some more pictures for irons a dairy Candies, who hopefully wanted pictures that were unsexy and unflattering, but also filled with random clutter and distracting props. "Let's take the fantasy of a hot girlfriend doing housework mostly naked,... read more

someone tried to murder Joss Stone

Murder in England sounds really complicated, because police have arrested two men who were reportedly plotting to kill Joss Stone. With swords. She's safe now but an APB has been issued for Captain Hook and Prince Humperdinck. Two men have been arrested near Joss Stone's... read more

Natalie Portman gave birth

Wait, was she pregnant? Because you could barely even tell. The actress and fiancé Benjamin Millepied have welcomed a son, PEOPLE has exclusively learned. Portman, 30, met choreographer Millepied on the set of Black Swan, for which she later won an Oscar for Best... read more

Tuesday headlines, with the return of Blake Lively

TRACY MORGAN - was so upset that he cried during his interview with Russell Simmons, according to Simmons. Wait, he cried? Hahaha, no way! Just like a little fa... oh, umm... ne-never mind. (popeater) HUGH HEFNER - was supposed to get married to Playmate Crystal Harris... read more

Sean Bean is the coolest dude on earth

It's hard to say what Sean Bean is best known for, maybe 'Lord of the Rings' or 'Goldeneye' or now 'Game of Thrones', but that was before he went to a bar in London Sunday night with a Playboy model 30 years younger than him. After that the story pretty much turns into a... read more

many celebrities are practically retarded

Fergie has an interview in the new issue of Allure (though I'm not sure who that's supposed to be on the cover) and she has a theory that might answer why there are so many pregnancy rumors about her. "I think people think that I'm pregnant sometimes because my weight... read more

Jennifer Aniston is a home wrecking whore

Jennifer Aniston has talked non stop for 6 years to make sure everyone knows how awful it was when the mean and wicked Angelina Jolie took out her claws to seduce and steal Brad Pitt. Very obviously Jennifer would never do anything like that. Jennifer Aniston's romance... read more

Tracy Morgan loves everything gay now

(and yes that was the gayest looking picture of Tracy I could find) I bet that black guy who got fired from 'Greys Anatomy' because someone thought he might have said "faggot" is going out of his mind right now, because Tracy Morgan said he'd stab his own son to death if... read more

Jessica Biel with no makeup is not bad

Jessica Biel arrived in Toronto over the weekend to begin filming the 'Total Recall' remake, starring the underrated Colin Farrell and directed by the appropriately rated Len Wiseman, and when she got off the plane she didn't have any makeup on. And since I'm a mean... read more

pray for Lindsay Lohan

As the end result of all this, which, among many many many other crimes, includes kidnapping three people after car-jacking their SUV and driving it 100mph down PCH while drunk and high on cocaine to chase down her ex-assistant who was terrified and thought she was going... read more

Monday headlines, with pregnant bride Lily Allen

KIM KARDASHIAN - was accused of cheating on her fiance after an NFL player named Brett Lockett told InTouch they'd been having a "physical relationship" for 5 months, but now he admits he's never actually met her face to face. His dick must be huge. (e!) SUPER 8 - was... read more

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