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Amber Heard Brought A 1920s Gangster To Her Movie Premiere

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Johnny Depp has appeared to have moved on from his two-decade run as a living rock star pirate in favor of this new look as an early 20th century gangster, or at least a middle-aged asshole who still shows... READ MORE

Give Me Back My Damn Bikini Top, You Venezuelean Whore

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I might be reading into this. And I might be confusing Venezuela with Brazil. I think all of South America was like one piece in Risk. But there’s still nothing finer than seeing two girls with with big fake... READ MORE

Johnny Weir Sticks It to Putin By Raiding His Ex-Wife’s Closet

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s tough being an activist. You can be the preaching vegan, but when the meat-lovers pizza arrives at the apartment after a night of drinking, that’s where the rubber meets the road. Johnny Weir took a lot of grief... READ MORE

Olympic Skier’s Tits Cause Riots in Lebanon

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I guess showing off your tits in Lebanon is not such a widely approved practice. At least not compared to the nationally approved hobbies of rubble rummaging and talking about how awesome Lebanon used to be. Lebanese Olympic skier... READ MORE

Courtney Stodden Found a Place to Put Her New Lips

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When A-list talent changes management, it’s big news in this town. When Courtney Stodden changes reps, it’s an excuse for tabloids to show you her new ginormous fucking lips. Courtney’s now signed up with David Weintraub of the uniquely... READ MORE

OJ Simpson Is Sad

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

OJ Simpson is going on a hunger strike in a Nevada prison because he’s sad and wants to die. He’s currently serving time for a 2008 conviction for kidnapping and robbery, though he’s better remembered for slaughtering his ex-wife... READ MORE

Emilia Clarke Is The Most Desirable

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to a poll of readers from AskMen.com, my go to source for prostate health and watch buying tips, Emilia Clarke is the most desirable woman in the world. There’s no possible way to win the list game on... READ MORE

Karissa Shannon Is Valentine’s

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I can’t remember which Shannon sister is the fake lesbian and which one made a sex tape with the dude from Smallville who got busted with twenty boxes of Oxy in his trunk. The best part is, it doesn’t... READ MORE

Jennifer Lopez’ Crotch Loves Futbol

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Just when you thought soccer couldn’t get any more popular among people still using terrestrial TV antennas, Jennifer Lopez squats out her crotch and maybe some portion of her labial sandwich to make a World Cup promotional video. As... READ MORE

Shia LaBeouf Is Important

February 13, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Shia LaBeouf continued his reign of terror on the art world with a one man show at an LA gallery called #Iamsorry. The scrunchy-faced Pekingese set up shop in the Cohen gallery in Los Angeles in a performance art... READ MORE

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