screw you, Julianne Hough

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 6:48 PM

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Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough spent another day in St. Barts, diving off the front of their enormous yacht and jumping waves on a see-doo. And the sea-doo was made of gold, with pink diamonds for buttons, and then they rode around on a pegasus who was also made of gold.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Lady Gaga is racy

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 5:23 PM

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We’ve all seen Lady Gagas breasts before, and they’re actually great, but wouldn’t it be better if we could see her breasts after someone glued steampunk-looking robot parts to her?

No, as it turns out. But the January issue of French Vogue went ahead and did that anyway.

(direct link to the NSFW pic here)

it’s Amanda Seyfried as a pornstar

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 5:07 PM

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Lindsay Lohan spent almost a year telling everyone she was going to play porn icon Linda Lovelace in a movie, but Lindsay is a screwup of course and that never happened. So now Amanda Seyfried is playing Lovelace, and here she is on set yesterday. So the five years Lindsay spent in rehearsal by getting high and blowing guys was all for nothing.

(image source = splash)

Kanye thinks he’s making a ‘Jetsons’ movie

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 4:12 PM

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Kanye West announced on Wednesday that he’s in discussions to become the creative director of a movie based on ‘the Jetsons’. Now, granted, there’s no such thing as “creative director of a movie”, and there is no movie being made about ‘the Jetsons’, but he has told Warner Brothers that he’s ready to take charge as soon as those things exist.

The producer who owns the film rights told Vulture

“The last two years I had various forms of communication from the studio that (Kanye) had this real love and interest in The Jetsons as an artist. My response was always, ‘Well, that’s great. We’ll let him know when we have a screenplay.’ I was thinking he was interested in it on a musical level, but apparently he’s deeply interested in art and architecture and wanted to be involved.”

If Kanyes idea of art and architecture is a cartoon about the future from 1962, it’s safe to assume he’s an idiot. His idea of archeology must be ‘the Flintstones’. Seeing a cavewoman use a baby mammoth for a vacuum cleaner must have blown his fucking mind.

fear not, Victoria Silvstedt!

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 3:16 PM

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I thought that banner picture of Victoria Silvstedt in St. Barts was kinda cute because it looks like a slutty version of that old Coppertone ad. This one, with the dog pulling down a little girls swimsuit, the one that gets parodied all the time. I doubt you could do an ad like that today though, or else ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’ would have already done it.

(image source = splash)

Shakira knows whats up

By brendon January 06, 2012 @ 2:28 PM

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?Shakira was in Miami yesterday, laying out in a thong bikini by a pool, and she spent much of the time rubbing her own ass. Which only sounds weird if you’ve never seen how hot Shakiras ass is. Once you have it seems pretty reasonable.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Drew Barrymore is getting married

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 6:55 PM

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After dating for just about a year, Drew Barrymore got engaged to Will Kopelman, who is probably gonna kill her for her money. Because he’s an art consultant, which sounds like a phony job, and he just looks like the kind of guy who would marry someone and then kill them for their money. So don’t be surprised if Drew and her big stupid face have a little “accident” next year. It’s amazing no one thought of this sooner. She’s rich and dumb as a rock even when she’s not high, which is always. Even painting a big X on the floor and then telling her to stand on it under the safe dangling from a rope would work.

Justin Bieber had a good day

By brendon January 05, 2012 @ 5:05 PM

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The last time we saw Justin Bieber at the beach, he was with Selena Gomez, who was in a bikini and draped across him. And he looked bored and played with his phone the whole time.

But today he was at the beach with some other lithe young men, on his knees in front of them, and taking them roughly from behind, and he looked happy as could be. Gosh I wonder why that could be.

(image source = fame)