CINDY CRAWFORD IS THE WINNER

By brendon August 06, 2008 @ 6:10 AM

Cindy Crawford is still lounging around the French Riviera, as she has been all week, and yesterday she did the unthinkably awesome and laid out topless on her giant chartered yacht.  Thankfully her kids don’t appear to be with her on this vacation.  Little kids on boats are supposed to be giggling at dolphins and throwing breadcrumbs to seagulls, not ducking under the captain’s erection.

(picture source = splash news, more from this set over here)

THIS SEEMS UNLIKELY

By brendon August 06, 2008 @ 5:38 AM

The Telegraph UK among others are reporting today that Britney Spears has been cast as a stripper in an upcoming Quentin Tarantino movie.  I’ll spare you the details for now, but this is maybe the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.

The singer was apparently chosen by the Pulp Fiction director to play dancer Varla in a remake of the 1965 cult film Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
The movie sees three thrill-seeking strippers encountering a young couple in the desert.
Spears' character murders the boyfriend with her bare hands before taking the girlfriend hostage. The troubled singer will also have sex scenes with another girl before the drama ends in a blood-bath.
A source said: "Quentin is convinced Britney will be brilliant. She's delighted. She thinks it could turn her career around.
"It is perfect Tarantino material. He wanted to get Britney first. She's playing the most important character."

Okay, 1: this is not even the movie he’s working on right now.  He’s working on "Inglorious Bastards", which really is into the casting phase (Eli Roth is the first official cast member).  2.  Don’t think we’ve forgotten the epic fail the last time Britney played a stripper (relive the magic here).  It did not go well.  There’s nothing stripper-like about this chick anymore.  She moves on stage like a bear let loose on a campsite.

ANDERSON COOPER FTW

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 6:04 PM

Anderson Cooper was guest host this morning on "Regis and Kelly" and during a conversation about reality TV, he took a pretty awesome shot at Dina and Ali Lohan. He said:

"Allegedly a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60… I say that with concern and love. She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, i don't know."

Hahahahaha, you suck Ali.  But of course Dina had to comment when asked about it by OK:

"People are just cruel!  This is bad karma for him."

Ohh.  Zing.  Good one.  You know OK was stifling their laughter when they asked Dina the question.  You might as well ask a catfish a question.  Because of course Anderson is right.  This entire family sucks.  They should be flattered he even knows who they are.  The next time he mentions her it will be because the Jonas Brothers ignore her at a party and then she has one of her "accidents" with a razor.



HOLLYWOOD LOOKS FUN

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 1:40 PM

Holy Christ this is the most boring day ever.  There is absolutely nothing good going on.  This is what we're down to: Gary Dourdan from CSI hanging out near topless chicks on the beach in Spain.  Last week he was partying with James Blunt and some other topless chicks.  This is a bit of a downgrade, but he’s off the show now so what can you expect.  By next year the best he can hope for is to watch a pillow fight through the window.

(picture source = inf daily



TRUE LOVE PREVAILS

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 10:17 AM

Two weeks ago, Balthazar Getty (who is married with 4 kids) and Sienna Miller were famously photographed all over Italy making out with Sienna in various state of undress (pics here).  Then last week it was reported that Getty was desperately trying to reconcile with his wife.  This week, it seems he’s back with Sienna.  What an amazing journey its been.  The Sun says…

 SO much for BALTHAZAR GETTY being back in the arms of his poor wife, he and SIENNA MILLER have been spotted looking very much together.
The pair, fast becoming the most hated celebrity couple, were seen locking lips in California on Sunday.
Sienna was waiting in a car at Ralph’s grocery store in Malibu as he rode up and down on a pushbike to make sure there were no paparazzi about.
Once the paranoid peddler, who’s supposed to be trying to save his marriage to Rosetta, was happy they weren’t being watched, the actress hopped out of the car for a quick snog.
A source said: “He looked nervy and rode off. He came back later but it was like something out of a Carry On film.”

Im not gonna lie to you, I’ve seen better plans.  Because here’s the thing about riding a bike: people can see you.  They can see your face and everything.  And the Ralphs in Malibu has paparazzi everywhere.  He might as well have set himself on fire and run down Robertson.

ARENT MODELS SUPPOSED TO BE PRETTY

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 8:06 AM

Alice Dellal is the 20-year-old model that Agent Provocateur hired to replace Kate Moss as the face of their line.   And here she is topless in Ibiza, ironically where Moss is this week as well.  This bitch is ridiculous looking.  In hindsight I guess it’s not so great that Agent Provocateur hired her.  They hired Maggie Gyllenhaal a few years ago too, a 30-year-old with the face of a 90-year-old.  Asking if Maggie Gyllenhaal could get any uglier is like asking if a turkey could get any uglier.

(picture source = splash news



KATE MOSS IS PREDICTABLE

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 6:31 AM

Kate Moss is in Spain this week with her mom and daughter, and, brace yourself, she sorta got naked.  Oh I know.  I couldn’t believe it either.  I’ve seen this chick’s naked body more than my own at this point, and I'm naked right now.  This is the most shocking news I’ve heard since a stranger at Target told me he also enjoyed that brand of potato chip.  I don’t know if my heart can take many more surprises.

(picture source = splash news)



NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 5:30 AM

Aubrey O'Day and Lydia Hearst probably aren’t really gay, but it turns out I don’t care.  I don’t care why girls are kissing, just that they do it.  A lot.  In front of me.  I don’t care if they’re doing it for attention or because it’s natural.  "Natural" sucks anyway.  Rattlesnakes and tornadoes are natural too, look how bad they suck.  Aubrey O'Day and I agree, fuck you nature.

(picture source = splash news