PAULINA RUBIO IS MYSTERIOUS

By brendon July 29, 2008 @ 6:58 AM

I don’t actually know who Paulina Rubio is.  I think she’s Mexican.   According in INF Daily, she spent the “afternoon swimming and tanning with her husband Nicolas Vallejo Najera in Ibiza (Spain) today”.  If I were working in a swimsuit store near this and her husband came in, I would fake a Spanish accent and point to Paulina and say, “is this for that dirty beech?”  And he would be all like, “what did you say”.  And I would say, “our beaches are so dirty; people leave bottles and wrappers all over.”  And he would say, “oh.”  And I would point to his wife again and say, “still, I wouldn’t mind getting on that dirty beech right now.”  And it would never get old.

MILEY?

By brendon July 29, 2008 @ 6:23 AM

This is allegedly Miley Cyrus, in yet another hacked cell phone picture.  I have no idea if it is or not.  It could be I guess.  It looks like she’s holding an iPhone so maybe someone took it and sent it to her.  If you were wondering, there was no part of this post that didn’t have "maybe" or "allegedly" or "could be" in front of it.  Yaaaay me!  This website is hard-hitting.

UPDATE – real, and real old.  DLH was good enough to send in this version from the front.  apprently its about a year old.  i apologize, but i don't surf for pictures of teens in their underwear as much as you might think. 



AMY WINEHOUSE IS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL

By brendon July 29, 2008 @ 5:50 AM

Amy Winehouse was discharged from the hospital this morning after she was rushed in last night to receive emergency treatment.  Her spokesman said Amy collapsed after having an adverse reaction to “medication”.  Huuuuh, oh boy.  Really?  This again?  Just die you worthless junkie bitch.  I’m so sick of your ass.  The Sun UK says…

The singer was rushed to hospital last night after frantic dad MITCH called 999 when she started having fits.
Paramedics gave her oxygen and bundled her out of the pad in Camden, North London, into the ambulance.
A spokesman for the singer said last night it appeared Amy had suffered a reaction to medication she was taking to help her off hard drugs.

I’m not trying to tell the cops in London how to do their job, but I have reason to believe Amy Winehouse might be using illegal drugs.  It’s a hunch I have.  Many call me a wunderkind psychic, using my powers for good.

(note – I just cannot do any more amy winehouse pictures right now, so look, it's a sunset and a pretty girl choosing life)



BRITNEY IS HARD AT WORK

By brendon July 28, 2008 @ 10:52 AM

Britney laid around a pool in Cabo this weekend, taking a well-earned break from laying around a pool in Beverly Hills.  I swear, she’s gonna have a heart attack by 30 if she keeps up this frantic pace.

(picture source = splash news, UHQ pictures from this set over here)



BLAKE LIVELY NEEDS TO CALM DOWN

By brendon July 28, 2008 @ 4:15 AM

Blake Lively ducked down to hide from the paparazzi while leaving the set of "Gossip Girl" yesterday, but instead of hiding, she showed them her tits.  Bravo.  Everything is going EXACTLY as planned!

SHIA GOT DRUNK AS HELL

By brendon July 28, 2008 @ 4:14 AM

We're getting closer and closer to the day when a celebrity actually kills someone while driving high or drunk or both.  The people of L.A. need to know that their lives are expendable according to the cops, who have made it clear that celebrities are above the law.  The latest incident happened Saturday night at 3am, when Shia LaBeouf, 22, caused a two-car collision after he pulled in front of a car while making a left turn.  His Ford F-150 was struck and flipped onto its roof.  No one was seriously injured but Shia had extensive surgery on his left hand early Sunday morning and was booked on suspicion of felony DUI.  TMZ says:

A witness tells us he heard a loud crash around 245 AM, then the sound of Shia's truck rolling over. The witness said he heard what he thought was a girl screaming "F**k," among other things.  When he got down to scene, Shia was already out of the car and the female riding with him was crawling out of the drivers side of the truck. The truck was smoking, making noise and still running. The driver of the other car was also out of the car by this time.  Shia and the female stood over by a wall while people were checking to see if everyone was okay. The witness said unlike most of the wrecks he's seen in the dangerous intersection, no one was cursing or yelling at each other. It took the cops 4-5 minutes to arrive at the scene.  Two ambulances — along with one fire truck — showed up, and all parties involved walked to an ambulance unassisted. There were no breathalyzers or tests done at the scene.

Of course the charges against Shia have already been reduced from felony DUI to misdemeanor DUI.  Based on every other case of celebrities breaking the law in L.A. by the time this is done he’ll be ticketed for illegal parking.

PORN FOR NERDS

By brendon July 28, 2008 @ 4:12 AM

The biggest news of Comic Con this weekend may have been the premiere of the very long and very well put together trailer for "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". There’s no official release yet but of course it leaked. This is as good as it gets for nerds like me. The only way it could get better is if Sabertooth were played by Diora Baird, and the story was about a quest for panties. 

MADONNA HAS STILL GOT IT

By brendon July 28, 2008 @ 4:10 AM

Madonna left the Kabala center in New York this weekend with her daughter Lourdes, and I think we're close enough by now for me to admit she scares the ever living shit out of me.  From the neck up she looks like the puppet from Saw.  Is it any wonder Guy Richie wants to move on?  There’s no way she's even healthy enough to have sex.  Her vagina must be like wax paper, all dry and crinkly.

(picture source = splash news)