just stop right now

By brendon March 21, 2009 @ 10:15 AM

Hayden Panettiere hit up Eva Longorias restaurant last night, and she should go back home and never come out again because this is the best she’ll ever look.  She had breasts somehow, just like a girl does.  But then she was lead away by some mysterious cloaked hand into the darkness of the night  (bye hayden).  I assume she’s still alive.  At least she didn’t go skiing and fall gently into soft wet snow.  Canadian resorts tell me that fluffy soft snow is Natures Loaded Gun!

(image source = splash and pacific coast)

saturday headlines

By brendon March 21, 2009 @ 8:31 AM

METALLICA – in a club that held little more than two thousand people. Metallica played a surprise one-hour show at the SXSW festival in Austin last night.  Lead singer James Hetfield said, "Here is the grass roots. Here is the basis of why we like music. Artists getting up in front of 2,100 people and giving it what they got."  And don't forget Austin’s fabulous shopping!  (source = ap)

NATASHA RICHARDSON – Liam Neeson, her mom Vanessa Redgrave and her sister, Joely Richardson of “Nip/Tuck”, held a wake last night in NYC.  A few hours earlier, more than 50 theaters across London's West End dimmed their lights to remember her.  The day before, Broadway had done the same.  She will be buried Sunday.  (source = BBC)

OLGA KURYLENKO -  these modeling pictures of actress Olga Kurylenko aren’t really relevant to anything, in fact they’re from 2004, but I don’t see girls in lingerie very much, so this is nice.  Normally when I stick it to some hot supermodel, they’re pretty excited so they get naked right away, and when we’re done I don’t really wait around.  They usually leave the money in an envelope by the door so I just head out.

arent there laws against this

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 12:44 PM

It seems like forever since Kate Moss walked around London showing everyone her tits.  I think it was Tuesday.  Needless to say, last night she promptly took care of that. 

(image source = wenn)

cameron diaz is a natural beauty

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 12:18 PM

A lot of people think that Cameron Diaz is one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, if not the world.  A lot of people have been horribly misinformed.

oh good, it gets worse

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 12:17 PM

A number of questions are beginning to surface concerning Natasha Richardson and the care she received in the hours leading to her death.  Hey look, an easy to read timeline that explains what I mean but took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out and do:

12:30pm (roughly): Natasha falls on what the resort describes as “soft, wet snow”.  They say, “It was right in the middle of the slope so she didn't hit anyone or a tree … It wasn't a violent fall at all.”
12:43pm: ambulance company records say this is when the first call came in concerning Natasha.  The resort says she isn’t asking for a ambulance but they insist.  I guess because she didn’t hit anything when she fell on soft wet snow, nature’s most lethal predator.  
1:00pm: ambulance arrives but is turned away, told Natasha doesn’t want a doctor.  The resort says she is “laughing” and “walking”.  The paramedics say she’s lying on a stretcher.   
2:00pm: according to the resort, Natasha was taken by ambulance to the local hospital complaining of a headache.
3:00pm: huge discrepancy here, the ambulance company says this, 3:00pm, is when they get the second call to treat Natasha.  According to the resort, she left in a phantom ambulance an hour earlier.  
3:09pm: the ambulance (the real one) arrives, attends to Natasha.
3:42pm: ambulance leaves the resort.
4:15pm: arrives at St. Agathe hospitol
5:00pm: Natasha is prepped to transfer to a specialized trauma center in Montreal.  
6:00pm: Natasha leaves for Montreal.
7:00pm: arrives at Montreal's Sacré-Coeur Hospital.

Later that night she was declared by the doctors in Montreal.  Yesterday her death was ruled an accident resulting from blunt trauma to the head (“soft, wet snow”).  The New York Times explains why the delay is such a big deal:

Brain surgeon Dr. David J. Langer said that a clot can develop from the bleeding following such a trauma. He added that if a patient undergoes surgery — ideally within an hour of the injury — to relieve the pressure, remove the clot and stop the bleeding, the patient can recover.  “It can be quite dramatic.  It’s one of the most acute neurological emergencies. It’s one of the few times where it’s life or death, where you can truly save somebody’s life, or they die if you don’t get to them.”

Now to the Aussie doctor who pioneered the research in this field, just to make things worse:

“…once diagnosed, the treatment would have been relatively straightforward surgery: a section of skull would be removed, allowing the clot to be extracted and the bleeding stemmed, relieving pressure on the brain.  The operation can be done by a general surgeon or even in some instances by a general practitioner.”

I keep coming back to the part where the resort says she was “laughing and walking off her injury” and the paramedics say she was “sitting on a stretcher”.  I don’t mean to nitpick but those two things aren’t very similar at all.  Someone appears to be lying.  Oh that’s right.  I’m on to you Canadian Resort.  You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to fool me.

(the timeline is from the nyt and the globe and mail.  statements attributed to the resort are from the daily news and the canadian.  aussie doctor quote is from the australian.)

lindsay lohan is a big star

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 11:30 AM


Back in January, Lindsay Lohan did some modeling for the spring line from Fornarina (here). So today is the second day that I’ve ever heard of Fornarina. This time it’s because her new ad has arrived, and as you might expect, its a feast for the senses. They started at the Six Flags Make-Your-Own-Video booth and then sent Lindsay to the world of tomorrow. It takes all the excitement of Lindsay standing still, then adds the sounds of a malfunctioning robot. Later they dubbed in some unrelated drumming and now here we are.

megan fox is not single

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 9:22 AM

I got an email from someone I’ll just call, “Lying No Good Liar Who Better Stop Lying”, and he says Megan Fox and Brian Austin Greene are very definitely not broken up, and he knows this because he sees them together all the time.

I work at a Gamestop and Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox come in regularly. Just this past weekend, Brian was there with his son from Vanessa Marcil, and they were picking out games for Megan. I asked how she was doing and he said she was great.  From Brian's mouth to my ears, NOT broken up.  Also, Brian is a good guy, they have a happy nerdy video-game-playing relationship.

If this is true, this sucks.  Even if it’s not true, I didn’t learn any new ways to get her into bed and I’m not so crazy about that either.  Unfortunately I feel like it is true.  My instincts are never wrong.  And I can prove it.  Turn over your card.  It’s the four of diamonds, isn't it?

(below = her at a Lakers game in 2004, apparently around the last time anyone had a shot)

morning headlines

By brendon March 20, 2009 @ 7:27 AM

PRESIDENT OBAMA – the President has formally apologized for a joke he made on “the Tonight Show” last night (video), when he compared his bowling to “the Special Olympics or something.”  Although in his apology he said, “at least you guys play sports instead of faggin off in some musical or something”.  How does that help?  (source = abc news)

MADONNA – some people say Madonna is a mean bitch.  You might call her boyfriend and ask his opinion but he’s not allowed to answer. “She told him it was rude for him to take a phone call in front of her … they had quite a heated argument.  Madonna agreed to let him answer when she’s around, but only in emergencies.”   This would be a reasonable compromise, except that many older phones convey the callers message only after the call has been answered, as opposed to linking both parties with telekinesis while the phone is still ringing.  (source = daily mail) 

COURTENEY COX – the new sitcom “Cougartown” filmed scenes around Melrose Seal Beach yesterday, with Cox starring as a something or other who does stuff, then falls down.  Better “cougar” pictures would have been from the set of “Seduced by a Cougar” or “Cougar Town”, with lots of real cougars also running loose around Seal Beach.  (image source = pacific coast)