Jessica Biel is so perfect she should be frozen and studied. Or at least used as a breeder. Some of you may scoff at the moral implications of something like that, to which I would fake a cough while barking out "homo". To further discredit your pedantic objection, I would grab your wrists in front of the other members of whatever board is in charge of this sort of thing and demand you "stop hitting yourself". The room would then fill with impressed murmuring and my powerful Aristotelian logic would once again rule the day.
