Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley filmed some scenes for Transformers: Dark of the Moon yesterday, and if this is the girl that’s supposed to make us forget about Megan Fox, it’s not working. At all. It’s like someone took a young Uma Thruman and then punched her in the face.
Last December, just a few days after turning 17, Miley Cyrus got a tat under her teen breast that says, “whites only”. No not really. It says, “just breathe”. It’s reportedly a tribute to a friend with cystic fibrosis and who must stare at her tits a lot.
Point being, Sunday she wore an open-back dress to the MTV Europe Music Awards in Madrid, and of course you could see the tat again. They’re quite permanent, you know.
CONAN O’BRIEN – will host the premiere of his new TBS show tonight, and he says one thing to look for on the new show is him forgiving Andy Richter: “Because you know it was him that f—ed up. I was doing fine before he came back.” I also heard that Richter was the Beltway Sniper. (tbs, ew)
LILY ALLEN – suffered a miscarriage last week, and over the weekend she was hospitalized with a blood disease called septicemia, which “accounts for tens of thousands of fatalities per year.” Her life is so tragic all of a sudden, she’s like one of those women in the bible. (la times)
MICHAEL JACKSON - has a new record coming out in December, and the first single was released today. It’s a terrible, terrible song, but it’s Michael Jackson so they’re gonna sell it anyway. In 10 years they’re gonna dig him up, take his femur and play his ribs like a xylophone and call it ALL NEW MICHAEL JACKSON MUSIC!!! (mj.com)
Credit and debit cards have become a staple of everyday life, but I’ve always wanted one that I could also jack off to. Well now somebody has made my dream a reality! The New York Post says…
Kim Kardashian (will) be at a party tomorrow to promote the launch of a prepaid credit card for children … the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCards are being marketed as helping parents keep their kids safe by allowing them to monitor their teens’ spending through their cellphones.
“Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do,” a rep said. “And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card.”
This is like when you see an ad and some lady is massaging her back with something that is clearly a dildo. Stop pretending. The only people buying this are lonely perverts who wanna get the motor running while they use it to subscribe to a porn site. And if my card isn’t here Friday like they promised I’m gonna be pissed.
Amanda Seyfried plays a stripper in a new movie which either has the terrible name I’m.mortal or the terrible name Now (just combine them Hollywood. you know you want to), and what they lack in movie naming skills they make up for in slutty outfit choosing. I haven’t seen an outfit this whorish since I went on a date with your mom. Zing!
Vanessa Minnillo, who is still ungoddambelievable looking, and jackoff idiot Nick Lachey share the same birthday (November 9th) and so to celebrate they’re down in Mexico this week.
This is the kind of thing I would do if she was my girlfriend, and if I was allowed in Mexican resorts. Last time I got kicked out because of what they called “racist dances”. Hey, look buddy, it takes two to be racist. If my dancing hit to close to home, whose fault is that? Not mine.
Angelina Jolie is still in Budapest making her debut as a director, but today she took a break and she and Brad Pitt and their army of kids went to a park with all kinds of things to climb and even a zip line for Shiloh. And it was adorable. It was so saccharine it hurts my teeth just looking at it. They might as well adopt a baby panda and a tiger cub and dress them up in a little cowboy hat and a football player outfit.