Mr. President

He knew this was today, right?[gallery columns="6"] read more

move that stupid kid

These pictures of Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend Camila Alves and their son Levi are frustrating because that stupid kid is in every shot. I think we all feel the sexual chemistry between me and these pictures, but that little bastard had to go cock block. It didn't... read more

marisa miller is a good model

Fame has more pictures of Marisa Miller posing for the SI Swimsuit Issue in St Barts, and I have mixed emotions. She’s amazing, of course, but even with just one set I was masturbating so hard I twisted my penis into a shape, like it was a balloon animal. It looks like a... read more

brooke hogan is a big star

I always assumed that if Brooke Hogan and Kelly Clarkson’s worlds ever collided, it would be at some kind of pie eating contest, but instead Brooke decided it would be a good idea to cover a Clarkson song I’ve never heard of. She was mistaken. It was a horrible idea,... read more

julia roberts seems upset

Julia Roberts started screaming profanity at a paparazzi who was apparently following her around all day, but when not yelling "fuck" 1500 times, she takes the time to be quite helpful. When she yells "aim higher", he does in fact aim the camera higher, which centers her... read more

miss usa 1991 does porn - update

Miss USA 1991 Kelli McCarty starred on the NBC (?) soap opera "Passions" for seven years, but has now made the lateral move to MILF Porn. Yaaay, you did it! TMZ says...McCarty is now a "Vivid Entertainment" girl -- and has just wrapped on her first XXX feature,... read more

kelly osbourne is under arrest

Kelly Osbourne was arrested outside a London club after slapping a gossip columnist who called her boyfriend “stupid”. Which, when you consider he's the mincing gaywad in the picture above, seems kind but whatever. Us magazine says...Witnesses claim Osbourne threw a fit... read more

i dont feel so good - update

It's so uncomfortable to see Madonna trying to dress young and sexy, like she is here in this promo shot for "Hard Candy", according to today's Daily Mail. It's an old lady mostly naked except for a bunch of random shit, like a boxing glove and a mink wrap. It's the kind... read more

pam anderson is ... umm ...

Pam Anderson hit the beach in Malibu not once but twice this weekend, and unfortunately half of these pictures look more like an oil painting than a picture, so it's hard to tell if she even looked good or not. One thing I can tell is that her bikini is tiny, yet her ass... read more

miranda kerr is a fatty

Miranda Kerr did a shoot for Victoria's Secret in St Barts this weekend, and girls who aren’t Victoria's Secret supermodels should take comfort in the fact that even Miranda Kerr has cellulite. Fat bitch. Or maybe that’s just a weird angle and trick of the light... read more

joaquin phoenix is doing great

The emails I got were way more interesting when I thought they said Joaquin Phoenix Raping, but what it said was Joaquin Phoenix Rapping, as is him turning that shit out on the mic at a club in Vegas Friday night. People seem surprised that Joaquin is now an incoherent... read more

how much to just burn it

A nude photo of Madonna, taken well before she was a music superstar and still making ends meet as a nude model, is expected to sell for at least $10,000 at Christie's auction house this weekend. Which makes some sense until you actually see it (here, very very very... read more