Madonna is a mean old bitch

By brendon March 25, 2011 @ 1:52 PM


Let’s recap…

– when Madonna applied to adopt a little girl from the impoverished African nation of Malawi in March of 2009, the director of Malawi’s Human Rights Consultative Committee called her a “child kidnapper” and a “bully”, claiming she was using her money to influence the people who would make the decision. (3.31.09)

– a few days later a judge denied the adoption because Madonna didn’t meet the eligibility requirements, specifically, she didn’t live in Malawi. (4.3.09)

– Madonna wants to build a home in Malawi, and spend $15,000,000 building an extra fancy private school for girls! So, see, that first guy was way out of line. (4.10.09)

– They gave her the little girl. (6.12.09)

– Ummm… (6.13.09 through 2.11.10)

– She had the government give her land, and kick off the people who were living there, so she could build the school. (2.12.10)

– She wore several thousand dollar outfits to the now spacious, wide open land and posed for pictures. (4.7.10)

That brings us to today, and an article in the New York Times. Guess how it’s going.

…the plans to build a $15 million school for about 400 girls in the poor southeastern African country have been officially abandoned.

When Madonna posed for that picture in the headline, at the ground breaking in April, you could see the slogan for the school was, “Dare to Dream”. It was supposed to be, “Keep Dreaming. Because I’m Not Givin You Shit,” but that wouldn’t fit on the brick.

Lindsay Lohan is dropping her last name

By brendon March 25, 2011 @ 12:25 PM


This story about Lindsay Lohan dropping the “Lohan” from her name and now only going by “Lindsay” includes, I shit you not, the following quote:

“So many of the greatest people in showbiz are known by just their first name. Look at Oprah and Beyonce. Now you can add Lindsay to that list.”

Even if “that list” was about famous black women whose middle names start with “G”, having Lindsay on it would still make more sense that a list about the “greatest people in showbiz”. But these Lohan’s are dumb as rocks so, behold some more of their mighty reasoning…

Lindsay had been thinking about dropping her surname for some time but at first thought no one would know who she was. It was only after the infamous Super Bowl E-trade advertisement referring to a baby as “that milkaholic Lindsay,” that she knew she no longer needed it.

That line of thinking is followed by…

“And it’s a way for (her) to start over. No one in the family want anything to do with Lindsay’s father [Michael Lohan] anymore and that includes sharing a last name.”

So everyone knows her as “Lindsay”, but she wants a fresh start, so she’ll officially be known only as “Lindsay”. Yeah that makes sense. An incrementally superficial change will finally turn everything around. It would be like if there was a bear that kept eating people, and the rangers idea was to put a hat on it.

(image source = splash news online)

Whoopi Goldberg was high when she won her Oscar

By brendon March 25, 2011 @ 7:54 AM

One year after Whoopi Goldberg won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress in 1991, she was doing voice over work for The Pagemaster, whatever the hell that is, and during some down time in the studio she revealed her secret for staying calm: getting baked as fuck.

“Smoking cigarettes and pot every now and then is my, are my habits, and so I said, ‘I’ve got to relax’ so I smoked this wonderful joint that was the last of my home grown, and honey, I’m tellin you when he said my name and I popped up, I thought, ‘Oh fuck… Oh fuck… okay, up the stairs… 1,2,3,4,5, ok, around to the podium… there’s millions of people, pick up the statue, get the statue okay … My mother called me and said, ‘You smoked didn’t you?”

Wooww. A liberal actor who smokes weed? Now I’ve Seen Everything!

(video of her saying all this here)

Vanessa Hudgens knows her strengths

By brendon March 24, 2011 @ 3:46 PM


Vanessa Hudgens walked the red carpet last night for the LA premiere of Sucker Punch, and if you’re wondering if she posed for pictures while looking over her shoulder and showing off her ass, well then buckle the fuck up because yes, she did. Oh I know. I could hardly believe my eyes either.

(picture source = getty images

George Lopez called Kirstie Alley a pig

By brendon March 24, 2011 @ 3:13 PM


Apparently we’re not allowed to liken one fat thing to another these days, because George Lopez is in trouble for calling Kirstie Alley a pig on his TBS talk show last night.

Lopez launched an attack on the ‘DWTS’ star’s fuller figure on ‘Lopez Tonight,’ saying of her first performance, “She did a nice job, her little hooves tapping away.”
While Alley declared on Twitter, “lost 60 lbs before DWTS… Haven’t weighed in three weeks but sure I’ve lost over 10 more,” Lopez kept the barbs about her weight coming.
“Before the show, she went to the market and then she had roast beef,” said Lopez, alluding to a line from the classic nursery rhyme ‘This Little Piggy.’ Lopez followed this up with a commercial featuring an animated pig, saying, in case the joke wasn’t clear enough, that it looked like Alley.

When asked for a comment, someone read what Lopez did but Kirstie never said anything because all that talk about pigs made her hungry and by the time they got done her mouth was full of pork chops.

(source = fame)

Lacey Schwimmer has nice abs

By brendon March 24, 2011 @ 2:47 PM

dancing with the stars 230311

Lacey Schwimmer, one of the professional dancers on Dancing With The Stars, left rehearsal yesterday in a little half shirt that showed off her nice little cut up abs. Now if the show could get Kirstie Alley to leave rehearsal in a half shirt, they could take pictures of her in black and white, then stamp a big red X over the last few and then try to sell you a DWTS sit up machine.

(source = wenn and inf)

Katherine Heigl is weird looking

By brendon March 24, 2011 @ 2:24 PM


These pictures of Katherine Heigl having lunch with a friend yesterday in LA aren’t especially noteworthy, unless you have a forehead fetish, in which case they should be considered hard core pornography.

(source = fame)

Captain America finally has a trailer

By brendon March 24, 2011 @ 1:44 PM

If you love America and/or sell steroids, then Captain America is probably the movie you’re most excited about this summer, and finally today there’s a full length trailer. It takes place during World War II, back when superheroes could just walk around shooting people, presumably bad ones. A Fine Time It Was!

(hd copies, including full 1080, here.)