The eagerly awaited movie version of the best selling book ‘The Da Vinci Code’ is being savaged by critics around the world after the first screening last night in Cannes, France. Some members of the 2000 critics in the audience even broke into stifled laughs at the movies key moment.

“At the high point, there was laughter among the journalists. Not loud laughs, but a snicker and I think that says it all,” said Gerson Da Cunha from The Times of India.

“People were confused, there was no applause, just silence,” said Margherita Ferrandino from the Italian television Rai 3.

“It was really disappointing. The dialogue was cheesy. The acting wasn’t too bad, but the film is not as good as the book,” added Lina Hamchaoui, from British radio IRN.

The most savage review comes from the Hollywood trade paper Variety:

“…director Ron Howard and screenwriter Akiva Goldsman have conspired to drain any sense of fun out of the melodrama, leaving expectant audiences with an oppressively talky film that isn’t exactly dull, but comes as close to it as one could imagine with such provocative material; (the) result is perhaps the best thing the project’s critics could have hoped for.”

It might not be the worst idea ever to routinely make movies that insult the most popular religion in the world, but that’s only because someone thought up flavored condoms, and that’s the worst idea ever. Maybe it’s because I mostly bang models who haven

I’m assuming Frankie Muniz got a tattoo to look older. Maybe tougher. Suffice to say, it didn’t work. Putting ink on Malcolm to look tougher is like putting a bonnet on a bear to look friendlier. He could carve a swastika in his forehead and I’d still give him a Winnie the Pooh for Christmas.

The girl, by the way, is his fiance, a hairdresser from New Orleans named Jamie Gandy. She is six years older than he is, and they’re supposed to get married this summer, when they will presumably spend some of the 5 million he made for ‘Agent Cody Banks 2′ before going to his mansion in Brentwood. So, if you think Frankie gives a shit than I’m making fun of him, you’re probably un-right.

update – slightly better picture of his tat here.

There’s something different about Lindsay Lohan lately. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but she totally looks heavier than she used to, like last night at the Race to Erase M.S-Show in New York. Whatever her new plan is, it’s 100 perecent working, and will totally stop people from saying she has an eating disorder.



Although clearly worth millions, Barbra Streisand and husband James Brolin can’t be bothered to pay for a night at the movies like everyone else, so when they arrived at the Mann Agoura Hills 8 near their Malibu mansion Friday night to see ‘Mission: Impossible III’, the couple asked to get in for free. When the teenage manager arrived, Barbara made her demands clear and was obliged. She was overhead telling the teen:

“We asked especially for you, we haven’t seen you in a while.”

Good luck finding someone more despicable than Barbara Streisand, who would rather stand around for ten minutes waiting to make the 17 year old in the vest and bowtie uncomfortable because she’s too good to hand over 20 dollars like the other 40 people in line. Meanwhile, she thinks nothing of buying 100,000 dollar cars and moisturizer made from bald eagles. And based on what, because she was popular 40 years ago? I’d rather watch x-rays of a time bomb in my anus than anything she was ever in.



Source = New York Daily News. And why the Jessica Alba picture instead of one of Barbara Streisand? I hope that’s rhetorical.


Britney Spears was caught yet again yesterday driving with her infant son in an unsafe position. The New York Post says:

“After causing an international uproar by driving with her infant unsecured in her lap, Spears, sporting curlers in her hair, is snapped here driving in Malibu with the baby strapped in the back seat – but facing the wrong way. Babies under 20 pounds or less than a year old should have their car seats facing backward, according to California motor-vehicle codes, and 8-month-old Sean Preston is facing forward as Spears rolls along in her Mini Cooper with its top down.”

There may or may not still be fire breathing dragons – I don’t now, I’m not a doctor – but I do know this kid would have a longer life expectancy if he was raised by them.

Source = New York Post


If Hilary Duffs eyes were closed, wouldn’t this look like a necrophiliac on a date.



Britney Spears says her songwriting skill may have played a part in getting pregnant the first time with idiot wigger husband Kevin Federline.

“I wrote this song ['Someday'] at my piano, at my house. I wrote it two weeks before I found out that I was pregnant, so it was really kind of weird, because the song’s about having a baby … It’s kind of like a prophecy. Everyone in general should voice their wishes more, because I think the more you throw it out to the universe, if you’re in the right space and place in your life, it’s weird how the universe gives it back to you.”

I must also be a powerful psychic, because the Universe told me that unprotected sex with idiot posers too stoned to pull out rarely leads to pregnancy. Almost never. It’s damn near a miracle when it happens like that. I think there was one case in the Bible. It was Sarah and now Britney. How do I know? THE STARS HAVE FORTOLD IT! But don’t thank me my friends, the prophecy doesn’t come from me, it comes through me.



Source = MSNBC. And thanks for the link to Christopher, who works for the government when not reading about Britney Spears. Scared yet?


‘Friends’ star Jennifer Aniston has vowed to never work on a television show again because she found the work “grueling” and demeaning. Aniston says:

“Episodic television is grueling and it was years and years of the same thing. I really don’t think (I’d ever go back to television), and not just because I’m above it, but because I really don’t think I could ever top that experience.”

An average sitcom is 22 minutes long, and ‘Friends’ was an ensemble, but let’s pretend Aniston was in half the scenes. So, 11 minutes a week. 11 minutes. A week. And she made $1 million an episode at the end. For 11 minutes of reading words someone else wrote for her. Other than that, her job entailed sitting in her fabulous dressing room and having her hair done. But she wouldn’t be caught dead going back to that life because it was “grueling” and now she’s “above it”. I only mention this so all you lazy fireman and soldiers will have some perspective, since you only do those jobs because they’re so much fun. Other people, the real heros like Jennifer Aniston, have jobs that are noble and demanding. You should really be ashamed of yourselves.



Source = Contatct Music