Bane has a weird voice

By brendon August 09, 2011 @ 3:01 PM

‘The Dark Knight Rises’ has practically become a play at this point as they continue to film right out in the open all over Pittsburgh, which has lead to quite a few heavy spoilers already. Hopefully this is not another one.

As G4 explains…

The scene in question takes place in Pittsburgh’s Heinz Field, where a game with the “Gotham Rogues” (who in the film, will be lead by Steelers quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger), gets taken over.
After a large explosion of some kind, Bane takes the field with microphone in hand and gives the crowd a bizarre manifesto-type monologue.
…But, the thing is, his voice is really…weird.

In the video, Bane says, “behold, the instrument of your liberation,” then someone is made to kneel before him, and then he says, “identify yourself to the world”. And for some reason he sounds sort of like Lemmy. On a side note, “the instrument of you liberation” is also what I call my penis on Thanksgiving when I dress up like a pilgrim and my girlfriend dresses up like an Indian and I pretend to rape her. This is gonna be a sexy movie.

Gavin DeGraw was beaten up, hit by a cab

By brendon August 09, 2011 @ 12:30 PM


I apparently don’t have shitty enough taste in music to know who Gavin Degraw is, and what a relief, otherwise this sounds like it might be really upsetting. The New York Post says…

Pop singer Gavin DeGraw was viciously beaten by a pack of thugs on the Lower East Side early today — and then hit by a taxi as he stumbled off, police sources said.

Hahahaha. Oh, jeez, sorry.

The 34-year-old crooner — who’s spent the summer opening for superstar rockers Maroon 5 and Train — had been drinking and just left a group of pals when he was attacked by the marauding perps sometime between 3:50 and 4:20 a.m.
He had his nose broken and suffered cuts on his face.
The creeps then fled, and the dazed singer, kept walking.
He wound up at 19th Street and 1st Avenue, where he was struck by a cab, although not seriously.
The sources said the attack did not appear to be a robbery.

I don’t mean to pick sides here, but I wanted to punch this guy from the moment I saw his little hat. He should be glad the cab driver only hit him once. I’ve known who this guy is for 6 minutes, and I wan’t to hit him so bad, it’s like a drug. I’m right on the verge of printing up one of these pictures and punching that.

(image source of degraw at the webster theatre in hartford = splash)

Rihanna has weird taste, a gentle embrace

By brendon August 09, 2011 @ 11:01 AM


Rihanna has been in Barbados for about a week, and either Barbados sucks or she just hasn’t been going to the nice places. Based on her hair I can’t even tell if they have running water. And those knit pants aren’t helping. They just look like something people on a shitty island would make for themselves because they have to. I’m surprised the boy isn’t wearing a turtle shell. I don’t even wanna think about what the vagina behind a pair of knit pants must look like. It’s 400 degrees, they sweat all day, do they even have stuff for girls to clean themselves or do they just rub sugar and salt on it like vikings did to preserve meat. That last part probably makes it sounds more delicious than it really is.

(image source = splash and pacific coast)

Lacey Schwimmer is cunning

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 6:13 PM


Despite the fact that she’s been on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ for 5 seasons, Lacey Schwimmer still isn’t very famous, and I rarely remember who she is when I see her, so it was very crafty of her to go to the pool at Hard Rock this weekend, take off most of her clothes and then let someone take pictures of it. Very crafty indeed. If she plays her cards right, I might even stare at her tits next time. She’s really turned our relationship upside down!

(image source = inf)

Michael Jordan + Adolf Hitler = Kanye West

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 4:09 PM

Apparently my grandmother isn’t the only one who mentions basketball players right after reminding everyone of the days when one particular race was rounded up and sent to labor camps. Because Kanye West performed in London this weekend, and his mind works the same way.

TMZ says…

West was performing at the Big Chill music festival Saturday night … when he went on one of his signature rants … this time focusing on the hardships of being so painfully misunderstood

“I walk through the hotel and I walk down the street, and people look at me like I’m f**king insane, like I’m Hitler. One day the light will shine through and one day people will understand everything I ever did.”

Moments later, Kanye suggested that he needed to be the MJ of music, “Michael Jordan changed so much in basketball, he took his power to make a difference. It’s so much f**king going on in music right now and somebody has to make a f**king difference.”

I don’t mean to be pedantic but Hitler also used his power to make a difference. So in that sense Jordan and Hitler are very much alike. Also, Jordan moved a lot of shoes, while Hitler moved a lot of Jews. They’re like two sides of the same coin.

Blake Lively saved the day

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 2:30 PM


Like the guy who still hangs out at his high school three years after graduation, Cameron Diaz made everyone feel uncomfortable at the Teen Choice Awards last night, so it’s a good thing Blake Lively was also there to turn that frown upside down. It’s like seeing a rainbow after a bad storm. And under the rainbow is a hot girl with big tits.

(image source = getty and wenn)

Tyra Banks is still young and sexy

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 12:41 PM


Tyra Banks was also at the Teen Choice Awards last night in LA, because why wouldn’t she be? The kids today love models from the 90′s. That’s why, when it was time to pick an outfit for the big night, she walked right into that Halloween store and bought the finest wig they had.

(image source = getty and wenn)

Cameron Diaz is the choice of teens

By brendon August 08, 2011 @ 10:52 AM


Cameron Diaz was at the Teen Choice Awards last night, I suppose as some kind of prank. Teens don’t really like old ladies. Maybe it was a test to see if anyone would help her across the street or ask her about her grandchildren. The good news is she looked better than she has in months. The bad news is, that’s still hideous. No doubt some people will say, “But hey, at least she works out and has lots of muscles.” Yes, indeed she does. And you know who else has lots of muscles? Monsters.

(image source = getty and splash)