Jenni Farley, who you may but probably don’t know by her nickname “JWoww” on the MTV show ‘Jersey Shore’, has become famous for her fantastically huge implants and tops that barely cover them. Now comes news that naked pictures of her are for sale, as was implied by every single noun in that first sentence.
There are at least three photos of Jwoww … In one photo, she is facing the camera, topless. It’s shot from the waist up and will certainly not disappoint her male fans.
A second photo shows Jwoww slightly turned, but with her back mainly toward the camera. She is wearing a skimpy wrap around her waist but that does not obscure the rear view! She’s also wearing boots.
The third photo is a full length topless frontal shot, where Jwoww is again wearing a small wrap around her waist and boots.
This girl is a genius. When are girls who want to be famous gonna accept the fact that the best way to do that is to leak naked pictures of yourself. By emailing them to me for example. That’s what Audrina Patridge did, and now look at her. She was nobody before Tyler published her naked pictures, now she’s rich as a king and engaged to George Clooney.
(She’s not engaged to George Clooney? How do you know? What are you, a detective? Are you positive? Maybe it’s a secret. That goddamn gif took me forever to make, btw.)
There’s a lot of talk these days about the people of Haiti and how we need to help them, but these pictures may blow the lid off that scam. Miranda Kerr is on a Caribbean island just like the people of Haiti are, and just like them she barely has any clothes, but you don’t see her complaining. She’s making the best of it. Looks like Haiti has a lot of growing up to do.
Dozens of fancy Hollywood stars paused from yelling at their Haitian housekeeper last week to go pitch in at the ‘Hope For Haiti Now’ telethon, and because of them it raised over 61 million dollars.
Jessica Simpson wasn’t part of the telethon, but she wants to help too. In the dumbest way imaginable. She also told me to ask if you wanted to split a piece of cheesecake. “Should we each get different kinds and see which is better,” she said to ask.
Jessica Simpson is trying to help the victims of the Haiti earthquake by organizing a shoe drive.
The singer, 29, has announced plans to team up with Nashville-based shoe charity Soles4Souls to collect at least 50,000 pairs of shoes in 50 days, which will be sent to victims in the Caribbean country.
“Let’s all do everything that we can for the tragedy in Haiti,” she says in a video clip advertising the campaign.
Go to www.50000shoes.com to make contributions.
Finally. One Haitian woman who lost everything said, “Of course I want to go get some and antibiotics and fresh water, but not in these scuffed up flats. Hopefully something with an ankle strap is on the way, or some breezy espadrilles. What looks worse, the gangrene in my foot or these slip-on earth tones?”
Tiger Woods has somehow saved 200 million dollars his marriage to Elin Nordegren, despite sleeping around with at least 14 different women during their 6 year marriage. Seemingly convinced of his contrition, Elin has called off the divorce. Radar says…
Elin had made up her mind to dump (Tiger) after his secret life of cheating was revealed, but time – and Tiger’s actions – have caused her to call off the divorce for now.
“He’s told her he’s serious about making it work and doing whatever he can,” the source said.
She’s agreed to try to make things work.
“The stress has taken a big toll on her,” the source said. “But she’s a strong woman.”
Tiger must be miserable. A sex rehab clinic isn’t nearly as fun as it sounds. I paid 20 grand to check into a sex affirmation center thinking it would be like sex rehab, except more encouraging. It turns out “sex affirmation” means “sex change”. They should really make that more clear.
Miranda Kerr is in St Barths to shoot for Victorias Secret this week, and it’s easy to see why she’s such a high paid model. She doesn’t have huge breasts like girls are supposed to, but instead of getting implants or suicide, she bends over a lot with her ass out. It’s no substitute for D’s, but it’s a manageable compromise. She just has to agree to keep her hair long. If I wanted to see short hair and a flat chest in a bikini I would go to pride week.
The new and improved Heidi Montag told the Sun UK last week that even though she loves her new DDD breasts after getting bigger implants, she won’t rest on her previous accomplishments. She has new goals, and those include moving up to H, because her name is ‘Heidi’. Get it? Awesome right? Well not according to the pedophile (probably) who did her DDD implants. He wants to tell women how to live and suppress their sexuality.
About Heidi’s new breasts, her doctor told Radar Online: “They are a little bit larger than I wanted I counseled her many times and told her ‘Heidi these are a little bit big and the bigger you go the more the complication risk increases’, he revealed.
And in terms of making them any bigger, the doctor said: “I told Heidi, ‘If you want to do it I don’t know who you will find but it’s not going to be me.’ I strongly recommend she just doesn’t do it.”
Oh I’m sorry, I thought this was America. I thought this was the country that blazed new frontiers and made the impossible look easy. If this so-called “doctor” can’t handle a strong and confident woman, he needs to go back to Saudi Arabia with the rest of the closed-minded pussies.
(UPDATE – now with new pics of her doing yoga from pacific coast news. you know, from the right angle, you can almost see down her shirt. someone should tell her. i don’t think she realizes what she’s doing)
While most of the bits about Conan spending millions on new characters in his final days as ‘Tonight Show’ host were just a joke, one thing that was very real was the tab he was running up by playing famous songs as the intro music for guests. Those songs really do have incredibly high royalty fees and NBC really does have to pay them. First it was the Rolling Stones “Satisfaction” for Adam Sandler, then on Friday…
When Tom Hanks entered from behind a curtain to go to his seat, the band played The Beatles “Lovely Rita,” which costs NBC half a million dollars.
Questlove, who is the drummer for The Roots on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” almost instantly tweeted, “yo i hate spoiling but i will have you know that walk on song we just heard was half a milli. i know cause i got the list rate at nbc and tom’s walkon music on conan is on my “restricted” list—wow a $500,000 walkon song lol.”
This is why when I do talk shows I come out to ‘Ava Maria’. It’s in the public domain so no one has to pay any royalties. Also I think it would be nice if more people thought I was a messenger from God.
‘Dancing With The Stars’ um, dancing … uh star Karina Smirnoff was on the Turks and Caicos islands this weekend with her boyfriend, Brad Penny, who is a pitcher for the St Louis Cardinals. That must be why he brought his ball and glove, and made her throw some on the beach in her bikini. Smooth bro. Smooth. Girls love that kind of thing, especially on vacation. You should take this time to show her how to throw a breaking ball, and don’t be shy about criticizing her if she’s not doing it right. She’ll appreciate your honesty. If she can’t get the hang of it, try asking if she’s stupid, maybe that was the problem.