“sexy” Jennifer Aniston repulses people

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 4:09 PM


Penn Badgley probably knew that Jennifer Aniston plays a dentist who is always sexually harassing her tech in the movie ‘Horrible Bosses’, but it seems he didn’t know that he gets mentioned by name before he went to see it yesterday with his girlfriend, Zoe Kravitz.

An awkward moment happened when Jennifer Aniston quips, “Did you see ‘Gossip Girl’ last night? I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy that I broke a nail.” Our source said, “The look on Penn’s face was priceless. They left the theater right after that.”

Wait. Your nails aren’t supposed to even hit anything. How did she break one? Was she stabbing herself in the vagina, is that what this scene is suggesting? Making Jennifer Anistons no doubt beaten and bruised vagina all scratched and bloody as well? Jesus I’m surprised more people didn’t leave, what is this, a snuff film?

(image source = inf)

Sarah Hyland is gonna kill Charlie Sheen

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 3:33 PM


Sarah Hyland was on back on the set of ‘Modern Family’ yesterday, and if Charlie Sheen is still stalking her like he was, I hope for her sake he doesn’t see these pictures. Because she still looks 12 (even though she’s 20) and now she’s dressed like a cheerleader. They should replace her regular security with big mean armor plated bears just in case.

(image source = pacific coast)

Christina Hendricks might play Wonder Woman

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 2:30 PM


If you don’t know who Nicolas Winding Refn is, he’s a really good director from Denmark, maybe best known for ‘Bronson’, the movie that made Tom Hardy famous. Or maybe for the ‘Pusher’ trilogy or ‘Valhalla Rising’, but he won Best Director at this years Cannes Film Festival for ‘Drive’, starring Ryan Gossling as a wheelman (which had a new red-band trailer come out yesterday, btw), and so now he’s finally starting to get some clout in Hollywood.

And instead of using that clout to do something cool, he told Vulture he wants to make a Wonder Woman movie starring Christina Hendricks.

“First of all, she’s an awesome actress,” he gushed. “Second, she’s so beautiful and so sexy and such a powerhouse of a woman that Liv, my wife, said that’s the prototype of a real woman. She has everything a guy would want. And yet she’s everything a girl thinks is the right way to look. So for me, she’s the perfect choice.”
“And she’s mature, which I think Wonder Woman has to be, because it’s a very complex character,” he continued. “You know, the whole Wonder Woman concept is ‘What if women were more powerful than men?’ And I certainly can’t come up with a more ideal choice to play that, both consciously because she’s very smart but also because of her sensibility and her physicality … so for me, she’s the perfect choice because she has so much sensibility and sexuality, but it’s true sexuality. And she has a body to die for. I certainly don’t know anybody of both sexes who doesn’t find her extremely attractive.”

The main problem with this is that Christina Hendricks has an enormous ass. So you’d have to replace all the fighting stuff with Wonder Woman running 50 feet, then stopping, then gasping for air with her hands on her hips, then getting some water, then calling the police. Also she’s pale as a ghost, so you’d have to replace the “putting on the sexy costume” scene with “slathering on sunscreen and putting on a big floppy hat” scene. Wonder Woman must be a totally different character in Denmark.

(NOTE: you won’t believe your eyes when I tell you this, but the headline picture was photoshopped. it really is christina hendricks face, but i used a computer to blend it in with an image from my favorite set of Denise Milani pictures.)

Minka Kelly and ‘Angels’ are off to a bad start

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 1:19 PM


Look, I get that every movie and TV show, especially ones with action, are filled with stuff that’s impossible, with things that people can’t do, but there’s a point when you cross a line from “this is bad ass” to “that’s just fucking stupid”. Like the movie ‘Hanna’, where not a single god damn thing makes any sense whatsoever. In the first 10 minutes an 80 pound little girl beats up two Marine RECON-types with her bare-hands. Really, movie? You expect me to believe that? I get what you’re trying to establish but fuck off, I’m not just gonna ignore all logic because you’re too lazy to write something believable. Oh and the bad guy is so good he went from Germany to Morroco and found her hotel, without any leads whatsoever except that she was in Morroco, in about 12 hours? Really? How? How did he do that? Go fuck yourself and you half-assed writing, ‘Hanna’.

Anyway, Minka Kelly filmed some scenes for ABC’s new version of ‘Charlie’s Angels’ in Miami yesterday, and here we see her shooting a gun from a galloping horse. Unless the bad guy was escaping in a Space Shuttle, it seems hard to believe she hit what she was aiming at.

(image source = pacific coast)

Brandi Glanville > LeAnn Rimes, part 4

By brendon July 22, 2011 @ 12:44 PM


It was weird when Eddie Cibrian famously started an affair with LeAnn Rimes and eventually left Brandi Glanville for her, and it hasn’t started to magically make sense ever since. Because this is Brandi on the beach in LA yesterday. Unless LeAnn has a vagina lined with vibrating velvet, this is the most perplexing thing I’ve ever seen.

(image source = pacific coast)

‘Captain America’ looks like a good movie

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 6:17 PM


‘Captain America’ had it’s premiere last night at the El Capitan theater in Hollywood, which of course means that English actress Hayley Atwell was there.

Atwell plays Peggy Carter, who is part of the program that transforms Steve Rodgers from a scrawny kid into a superhero. Atwell and her huge breasts act as the moral compass of the film, and as her relationship with Rogers grows more intimate and a romance develops, the three of them are able to inspire Rodgers to keep fighting, to stay on the right path, and to be true to himself and his country.

Also in the pictures is Chris Evans. I don’t know what he plays. Probably like a doctor or tennis player or something.

while in $1000 shoes, Lindsay said she’s broke

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 4:50 PM


When Lindsay Lohan did this interview with Life and Style a few weeks ago, the second line of the article said LIndsay lived in a, “$2.25 million 3,000-square-foot pad in Venice Beach, Calif.”

And today when she was in court, she was wearing some Christian Louboutin shoes, which are always very noticeable and showy due to their signature bright red heels. A similar pair at Saks sells for $995.

I mention this because when the judge asked Lindsay why she hadn’t signed up for her counseling sessions yet, she said it was because she couldn’t afford it.

Lindsay had not yet started was her psychological counseling which her lawyer Shawn Holley informed the court was because her hard-up client could not afford it.
Holley said that because Lindsay’s SAG insurance had lapsed, she could not afford to pay for one-on-one counseling and that group counseling was out of the question for fear that others would sell her out to the media.
Someone off camera, thought to be Los Angeles City Attorney Melanie Chavira, said that she found it hard to believe that the Hollywood star could not afford to pay for counseling.
(Judge Sautner) asked Lindsay if she had anyone who had a credit card who would be able to stump up the cash for her court-mandated sessions. Lindsay consulted with her lawyer who then told the Judge that it “would not be a problem” for her to get the money together.

Oh it won’t? Oh ok good. So why did you just say it was? Two fucking seconds ago you said she was broke. Now it’s not a problem? What just happened? What did you two talk about where suddenly money won’t be a problem? She’s gonna give blowjobs for money, isn’t she? Well good. It’s about time. Look, this has been inevitable for about 4 years now. If anything she should be proud she made it this long.

Lindsay Lohan is in big trouble this time (jk lol!)

By brendon July 21, 2011 @ 4:10 PM


Lindsay Lohan was called into court this morning because, brace yourself, she’s been ignoring the judges orders and blowing off her community service. As you may remember, this is the exact same thing she did last time she was given community service.

With that in mind, I bet the judge really threw the book at her!

Judge Sautner made it clear, Lindsay had better complete her community services within 1 year of the date of sentencing — or else!
The judge said, “I’m not going to give her five extra minutes.”
The judge was frustrated that after 2 months, Lindsay has only completed 4 days of 60 days of community service.
The judge was also upset that Lindsay had not enrolled in psychological counseling — as she’s required to do. The judge is giving her 21 days to sign up with a personal counselor — not a group counselor.


Ok so I guess the judge didn’t throw the book at her. I guess instead, Lindsay is ignoring the judge again yet isn’t in any actual trouble whatsoever. So the only shocking thing today was that Lindsay looks like absolute hell. If she still wants to be an actress she better hope lots of roles get written where a girl gets pulled out of a river.

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