Megan Hauserman is doing better

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 4:40 PM

Megan Hauserman

The sixth stage of grief is to walk around a rooftop Hollywood pool in a bikini and drink champagne, so Megan Hauserman from ‘Megan Wants a Millionaire’ seems to be recovering nicely after her rejection sent Ryan Jenkins into a dark portal of madness and murder.

Here she is yesterday in LA with some lumbering moose. Maybe that star of David around her neck means she’s taking strength in her faith, and Doofus Frankenstein there is some kind of spiritual adviser ( “-stein” = jewish?).  Another theory is that the majority of attractive women in LA are black-hearted monsters.

(hq jump here. source = inf daily)

Madonna is really brave, smart

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 3:55 PM

Madonna played a show in Bucharest last night and got boo’d because her music is fucking terrible after lecturing the crowd about the level of discrimination in eastern Europe against gypsies. Ha. Well no wonder! What’s next, is she gonna lecture them about hunting leprechauns to steal their gold! (EDIT – Okay apparently gypsies are real.) Madonna said:

“I’ve never been to Romania before and I am happy to be here. But I found out that there is a lot of discrimination against gypsies in Eastern Europe and that makes me very very sad, because we don’t believe in discrimination against anyone. We believe in freedom and equal rights for everyone, right? Gypsies, homosexuals, people who are different; everyone is equal and should be treated with respect, OK? Let’s not forget that.”

Is there some kind of battery or rock shortage I don’t know about in Romania. That condescending bitch landed in your country for the first time ever 10 minutes ago and you’re gonna let her stand there and lecture you like a bunch of retards. Take action! I expected more from you Romania. Vlad the Impaler must be looking down from heaven, heartbroken over what fussy little women you’ve become.

On the flip side, Bono and all those other know-it-all’s have no problem coming over here and telling us what to do, so maybe this is good. Not so goddamn funny now, is it Europe?

it’s Ginger Spice bikini day

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 2:21 PM

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Ginger Spice did some crunches on that yacht and then hit the beach today, and it’s sort of amazing that all the Spice Girls have held up this well. Geri, Mel B, Victoria and … umm … Peaches? Was it Peaches? It must be nice to know you’ve become a trivia question that no one knows the answer to.

(hq jump here.  source = fame)

Avril is headed for divorce

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 1:41 PM

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This won’t win any points with the cool kids, but I think Sum 41 is okay. “We’re All To Blame” is a good song, and “Fat Lip”. So it seemed weird that Sums lead singer would put up with Avril Lavignes bratty little ass for all these years. I guess it turns out he was surprised by this turn of events too. The New York Daily News says…

Trouble has been brewing since early this year for Lavigne and Deryck Whibley, who haven’t been photographed together since last December … sources close to the couple, who have been married since 2006, say they’re headed for Splitsville.
That seemed apparent when the Canadian songstress was out and about in Southampton last weekend – sans hubby and looking anything but married.
A spy at celebrity eatery Georgica indeed saw Lavigne getting away – but hardly spending any time alone. Instead, says the onlooker, she was partying hard and hanging with a number of male admirers.

Another report said she did it with a guy named Sam Hendricks, but if that’s who I think it is, that dude is gayer than soy milk.  More to the point, Avril needs to wake the hell up.  She got famous at like 16, and teen girls are naturally stupid anyway, but famous teen girls are practically retarded. You could sit at home by yourself and practice being annoying in the mirror and still not do it any better than Avril.

Ginger Spice is kind of hot

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 11:55 AM

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Ginger Spice, who also goes by the name Gerri Halliwell, is in Sardinia, Monaco, today, doing what all famous people do, namely lounging around on a yacht in a bikini. I think once you get famous they just issue you a yacht. But she’s not the only one reaping the benefits of her status. As of August 1st, it’s been three years since the “misunderstanding”. I no longer have to order Girl Scout cookies online anymore, they can come right to the door again!

(6 more pics here.  hq jump here.  source = fame)

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon August 26, 2009 @ 3:57 PM

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X FACTOR – a 27-year-old named Danyl Johnson is a superstar in the UK today after giving what Simon Cowell called the best first audition he’d ever seen. Still I say we start tearing him down right away instead of waiting a few weeks. Booo, you suck, get out of here you piece of shit! (source = youtube)

INCEPTION – few projects have been more cloaked in secrecy than the new film from Christopher Nolan and Leonardo DiCaprio (trailer here), but this website says they know the plot. And that’s the great thing about the internet. They wouldn’t lie to you. (incontention)

EMMA ROBERTS – is Julia Roberts cousin, and she played Nancy Drew in the Nancy Drew movie, but she’s hoping to grow into different roles, especially once the doctors figure out what sex she is. (hq jump here.  source = splash)

The Lindsay sex tape, part 3

By brendon August 26, 2009 @ 2:13 PM

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Lindsay Lohans house was robbed again this past weekend, and new details are coming out claiming the culprit was someone Lindsay knew, someone after something very specific. Detective Freckles is on the case!

…that’s how i know it was not a ROBBERY. electronics weren’t taken… just things that a certain old friend knew meant a lot to me

And what might that be:

I’ve learned the real reason Lindsay Lohan is so upset about the theft of the safe from her L.A. house is the contents included some very incriminating videos and photos, plus legal documents, that LiLo believes could cause embarrassment if made public.

Back in March I talked to two people who said a plan was in place for her to sell a sex tape that would be released in two parts (more here). I have no idea if this is the beginning of that plan or not, but if it’s not I think anyone who tries to sell a sex tape they made with a celebrity is reprehensible and should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Unless I’m the one doing it, in which case settle down baby, you looked terrific.

Win more Katy Perry tickets now

By brendon August 26, 2009 @ 2:12 PM

v festival chelmsford day two 5 230809 Okay so I have 8 tickets to see Katy Perry, live at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. But I’m no good at thinking up contests. Let’s just do this: I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 100. The first 4 who get it get 2 tix each. Email what it might be to the new contact address: brendon@whatwouldtyler.com

Or if you’re a hot girl just send topless pictures. Of course I won’t hold my breath because I’ve been doing this damn site for 4 years and never once has a girl sent me topless pictures. Is Tyler blocked everywhere except for Mormon math camps or something, jesus christ.

UPDATE – 2 down, 6 to go.

UPDATE – 4 down, 4 to go.  And stop guessing 69 ya fukkin perverts.

UPDATE – I swear to you, its not 69.  God you people are filthy.

UPDATE – 6 down, 2 to go.  Maybe the number has changed to 69 now.  Try guessing that a hundred more times. Maybe I thought it was something else.

UPDATE – 47.  it was 47.  another good number is 0.  that’s how many pictures came in. is it just prisoners reading this. do you people not have phones.