If you don’t know who Nicolas Winding Refn is, he’s a really good director from Denmark, maybe best known for ‘Bronson’, the movie that made Tom Hardy famous. Or maybe for the ‘Pusher’ trilogy or ‘Valhalla Rising’, but he won Best Director at this years Cannes Film Festival for ‘Drive’, starring Ryan Gossling as a wheelman (which had a new red-band trailer come out yesterday, btw), and so now he’s finally starting to get some clout in Hollywood.
And instead of using that clout to do something cool, he told Vulture he wants to make a Wonder Woman movie starring Christina Hendricks.
“First of all, she’s an awesome actress,” he gushed. “Second, she’s so beautiful and so sexy and such a powerhouse of a woman that Liv, my wife, said that’s the prototype of a real woman. She has everything a guy would want. And yet she’s everything a girl thinks is the right way to look. So for me, she’s the perfect choice.”
“And she’s mature, which I think Wonder Woman has to be, because it’s a very complex character,” he continued. “You know, the whole Wonder Woman concept is ‘What if women were more powerful than men?’ And I certainly can’t come up with a more ideal choice to play that, both consciously because she’s very smart but also because of her sensibility and her physicality … so for me, she’s the perfect choice because she has so much sensibility and sexuality, but it’s true sexuality. And she has a body to die for. I certainly don’t know anybody of both sexes who doesn’t find her extremely attractive.”
The main problem with this is that Christina Hendricks has an enormous ass. So you’d have to replace all the fighting stuff with Wonder Woman running 50 feet, then stopping, then gasping for air with her hands on her hips, then getting some water, then calling the police. Also she’s pale as a ghost, so you’d have to replace the “putting on the sexy costume” scene with “slathering on sunscreen and putting on a big floppy hat” scene. Wonder Woman must be a totally different character in Denmark.
(NOTE: you won’t believe your eyes when I tell you this, but the headline picture was photoshopped. it really is christina hendricks face, but i used a computer to blend it in with an image from my favorite set of Denise Milani pictures.)