lady gaga was on the today show in the rain

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 11:26 AM

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Lady Gaga performed on the Today Show this morning as part of the Toyota concert series, because nothing says shocking nonconformist like performing on the Today Show in between commercials where Toyota apologizes for their brakes not working and killing a bunch of people. What sick bastard thought ‘moving forward’ should be the new Toyota slogan, btw. Wasn’t that the entire problem. People couldn’t stop the cars from moving forward, even if they really really wanted to. They were moving forward off the side of the road at 200 miles per hour. ‘Our cars stop when you tell them too now’ would be a better slogan. ‘We’ve stopped murdering customers’. Literally, anything on earth, any combination of words except for ‘moving’ and ‘forward’.

Anyway, Lady Gaga. Oh and it was raining really hard. Fascinating, huh.

did mel gibson beat up this girl too?

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 10:06 AM

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Violet Kowal is the porn star from Poland who says Mel Gibson had an affair with her while his girlfriend, whom he had an affair with while married, was pregnant. And since Mel Gibson is reportedly a violent sociopath, In Touch asked her if he ever got violent with her too. Spoiler Alert: Yes. Sort of.

“His threats scared me so badly,” Violet tells In Touch, “I left town and went into hiding for almost a month.”
“I agreed to go visit him at his Malibu compound,” she explains. The two had sex for the first time, though Violet was uneasy. “He didn’t want to use protection, but I insisted,” she says. “He seemed paranoid and anxious. He chain-smoked before and after we had sex. It was weird.”
“He would get very aggressive and angry if I was not available,” she explains, “even yelling and demanding to come to my home when I refused to see him.”

Mel’s mistake was thinking these foreigners would be too scared or naive to rat him out. Why didn’t he just keep a sex slave in a coffin downstairs like normal people? I could have asked mine if she had any single friends. This Mel is a real weirdo.

Ashley Greene was hot

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 6:03 PM

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New York City is in the middle of a heat wave, with temperatures in Central Park reaching 103 degrees on Tuesday and 101 yesterday, but Ashley Greene defines courage, so she went for a walk anyway. One thing that helped her stay cool was pulling up her shirt, even though it barely covered anything anyway.

It was just another example that proves why Ashley is better than other hot girls. They’ll often walk around with a shirt that covers their stomachs and breasts, like some sort of man-hating dyke. But not Ashley. She’s an amazing woman.

(source = splash news online)

mel gibson is under investigation

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 5:15 PM

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For several days now there have been reports that Mel Gibson beat his ex girlfriend, once so severely that she lost two teeth and suffered a concussion. Are these allegations true? Did he hit his ex wife as well? Was he wearing a Big Dog muscle shirt and jean shorts when he did it? The Los Angeles Sheriffs department is lookin for some answers. The AP says…

“An investigation of domestic violence was launched by [Los Angeles Sheriff's] Malibu/Lost Hills station detectives … involving actor Mel Gibson and his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva,” read a statement released Thursday. “The detective in charge of the investigation is currently gathering information regarding the allegations. Due to the investigation being preliminary in nature, no other information is available at this time.”

It’s exciting to see law enforcement in LA finally hold celebrities accountable for their actions. Sending Lindsay Lohan to jail was amazing enough. Two in one week would be an accomplishment on par with the moon landing.

lindsay lohan thinks jail is a violation of her civil rights

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 3:40 PM

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The problem with Lindsay Lohan is that she doesn’t seem spoiled enough, so last night she promptly took care of that on her twitter page. Chief Justice Freckles called class into session and then made the case that it was a violation of her civil rights for a judge to send her to jail simply because of two DUIs, two counts possession of cocaine, and 14 separate probation violations, among other things. Lindsay copy and pasted this…

It is clearly stated in Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights that, “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.”

this was taken from an article by Erik Luna.. “November 1 marked the 15th anniversary of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines. But there were no celebrations, parades, or other festivities in honor of this punishment scheme created by Congress and the U.S. Sentencing Commission.”
Instead, the day passed like most others during the last 15 years: Scores of federal defendants sentenced under a constitutionally perverted system that saps moral judgment through its mechanical rules.”

If the state of California wants to get out of debt they’ll put cameras in every inch of this jail and make it a live PPV so we can watch Lindsay get held down and pee’d on by the other inmates. I would buy a copy for at least 3 separate TV’s, just in case something happened to the first two.

conan was nominated for an emmy. jay leno however…

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 1:39 PM

jay_leno-conan_obrien

As everyone knows, NBC fired Conan O’Brien as host of the Tonight Show after just a few months and then gave the job back to Jay Leno. Essentially NBC pissed away 200 million dollars while making Leno look like an asshole, and then re-hired him.

His ratings have dropped every week since his return, and 3 weeks ago his ratings actually fell below Conans at a comparable point (more). The audience has now dropped from 5 million viewers last year to 4 million this year, the lowest ratings since 1992 (variety). For a more visual example, just picture Eric Claptons kid. That’s what Leno’s ratings look like.

But at least that’s all in the past and NBC doesn’t have to relive their mistake anymore. Wouldn’t you agree, Popeater?

‘The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien’ earned its first and only Emmy nomination this morning.
Conan will compete against ‘The Colbert Report,’ ‘The Daily Show,’ ‘Real Time With Bill Maher’ and ‘Saturday Night Live’ in the Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series category.
‘The Tonight Show With Jay Leno’ was not nominated, although NBC submitted Leno’s work, while O’Brien’s own people submitted his.

Granted this is no badge of honor for Conan either. Being nominated alongside SNL is nothing short of embarrassing. You could have more fun getting your dick caught in a zipper for 90 minutes.

thursday morning headlines

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 11:13 AM

Kate Gosselin, Joel Gosselin, Aaden Gosselin

MEL GIBSON – is heard calling an employee a ‘wetback’ on a recording made by his ex. “I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks,” he says. Does he mean stores that sell rims? What can they do about Mexicans? (radar)

LINDSAY LOHAN - told her friends that the judge who gave her 90 days in jail was out to get her, and then called her “a fucking bitch.” So it seems Lindsay really has changed. We should all line up and apologize. (tmz)

THE EMMYS – were announced this morning, and in keeping with tradition, none of it makes the slightest bit of sense, including shows like ‘Always Sunny…’ and ‘Community’ being completely left out, while ‘Glee’ was nominated in best comedy. That piece of shit show shouldn’t be on a list of best comedies even if you demanded that they all have the word ‘glee’ in the title. (gawker)

KATE GOSSELIN – thinks she’s 18 apparently. And attractive. And even though she’s a mom out with her 8 kids, she dresses like someone going shopping for cock rings. What a dynamite lady. (inf daily)

the facebook page has been fixed

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 9:40 AM

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Tyler has really sexy readers (as if I needed to tell you that) so a few months ago (here) I started posting some of their pictures on facebook. And then almost immediately I started hearing from people saying they couldn’t access the page for some reason. That should all be fixed now, so you should follow Tyler on twitter and facebook. The girl in the blue bikini really wants you to. She also apparently wants to make girls with DD’s feel flat-chested and paralyzed by low self esteem.

(full size pic here)