naomi watts is in a bikini

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 1:40 PM

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Naomi Watts is down (over?) in (on?) Barbados today (note – I have no idea where the fuck Barbados is) and yesterday she spent the day on the beach in a little black bikini. She didn’t look that great or anything, or at least not as hot as she did in ‘Mulholland Drive’, but she seems like a perfectly nice woman, so, whatever. No need to make fun of her. I’m not gonna act tough just to impress you. I love you just the way are, so why do you build these walls around your heart?

is courteney cox cheating? sure why not.

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 11:44 AM

EXCLUSIVE: Is Courteney Cox Out Cheating On David?

Courteney Cox been married to whatshisface, I can’t think of his name, you know who I mean, for, I don’t know, let’s say 10 years, but apparently she’s been seen hanging out with the guy in these pictures a lot lately. So is she cheating on that other guy? Probably, yes. Why else would he be hanging around? Actors, in general, are pretty dumb, and hot girls are usually dumb, so therefore actresses are practically retarded. And this guy doesn’t look like any kind of genius either. If these two ever try to make a point you’ll know because you’ll smell hair burning.

sandra bullock is breaking her silence. in november.

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 10:16 AM

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Someone close to Conan O’Brien told me the other day that Tom Hanks has already been asked to be the first guest on Conans TBS show, but he’s a damn scrub compared to who will be on George Lopez one hour later. Deadline Hollywood says…

Conan O’Brien and George Lopez are expected to make a splash in their first week together in November on TBS with a lineup of A-list guests. I’ve heard that Sandra Bullock, who is George’s close friend and executive produced his ABC sitcom, may appear on his newly moved 12 AM-1 AM talk show that week.

And the Chicago Sun Times ads…

Bullock is not only a longtime personal friend of Lopez, she also served as an executive producer of the comedian’s old ABC sitcom, where she guested a few times.
”More important than all that, George has been one of Sandy’s most supportive and genuinely caring friends as she has gone through the nightmare of the past couple months,” said another longtime close Bullock buddy.
”He personifies how a real friend acts when someone you love is going through a hellish situation.”

I don’t even think George Lopez is funny but he still seems to be a likable guy. And I’m not just saying that so I don’t look racist. Okay actually I am. Because I’m incredibly racist. The truth is I’m pretty sure I saw George Lopez steal my car radio one time. Him and Denzel Washington.

UPDATE - not one single person emailed to tell me i had ‘snadra’ in the headline for like 3 hours, but im okay with that because the last thing i want is people emailing me every time my spelling or punctuation or grammar set a new low.

catherine zeta jones is naked, f’able

By brendon April 16, 2010 @ 9:11 AM

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Catherine Zeta Jones is naked in the new issue of Allure magazine, and she looks amazing considering she’s 40. She looks even more amazing considering she’s not 40 like she says she is, and actually is closer to 50. Either way she’s now officially the oldest woman in Hollywood I’d have sex with. Before this it was Selena Gomez.

opie and anthony really enjoyed ashley dupre

By brendon April 15, 2010 @ 5:10 PM

Current Playboy covergirl Ashley Dupre was on Opie and Anthony this morning, and she was awfully self righteous for someone who is only famous because she use to let strange men come on her for money. She didn’t really want to discuss her time as a call girl or her most famous client, the former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer. Oh well la di da your majesty. That’s not how this works, as Opie was quick to point out. The only way this could have been any more ruthless and awkward is if Opie had pushed some big button and dropped her into a tank filled with eels.

capt. america is gonna be a good movie

By brendon April 15, 2010 @ 3:47 PM

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Earlier today it was reported that ‘Iron Man 2′ will feature very brief cameos from Captain America and Thor (although Thor can be seen getting his mugshot in this clip), and yesterday it came out that ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ creator Joss Whedon will direct ‘The Avengers’, but the big news was that Hayley Atwell was cast to play Captain Americas love interest. And by “big” I mean “tits”.

Atwell is playing the British love interest opposite Chris Evans, who portrays Steve Rogers/Captain America in the Joe Johnston-directed movie.
Marvel conducted an extensive search for the part, with Emily Blunt and Keira Knightley among the names in the mix at one point. Atwell clinched the role after screen testing in London last week.
Sebastian Stan is cast as Captain America’s sidekick, Bucky Barnes while Hugo Weaving is still in negotiations to play the villainous Red Skull.

Anyone who saw Atwell in “The Duchess” … is probably not reading this, so never mind. The point is this chick has huge tits, and therefore this was awesome casting. Especially in an action movie. If nothing else she could spin around in a circle real fast and use those things as a weapon.

charlie sheen shaved his head

By brendon April 15, 2010 @ 1:23 PM

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You may find this hard to believe, but the mustachioed stranger in the picture next to Charlie Sheen is also Charlie Sheen. Relax my friends, there’s nothing wrong with your monitor, it was simply Charlie in disguise after he got caught banging some whore at his house. The disguises only weakness was if someone looked at him. Unfortunately for him they did. So the next step would be to shave his head. And so that’s what happened.

Charlie Sheen pulled a Britney Spears and shaved his head, RadarOnline.com learned. Facing allegations that he cheated on wife Brooke Mueller with escort Angelina Tracy, Sheen shocked people Wednesday when he was seen with a shaved head.
Earlier, photos surfaced of Sheen in a ridiculous fake moustache disguise as he was caught with Tracy.
Sheen is still in rehab and is battling alcohol and coke addictions. His wife has also been getting rehab treatment. He is facing trial on domestic violence charges in Colorado.

This is why Hollywood is so entertaining. Because it’s filled with dim witted morons with tons of money and no survival skills whatsoever. Charlie Sheen didn’t want to be recognized. So he shaved his head. Now he looks like Charlie Sheen with a shaved head. Ta-da. When this doesn’t work we’ll probably see him walking toward his $90,000 Porsche in a karate outfit and pushing up the skin on either side of his eyes. And he’ll fully expect the paparazzi to say, “Hey lets ask that karate expert if he’s seen Charlie Sheen.” And Sheen will say, “Ching chong chow, me no Engrish!” But he’ll be thinking, “Hehehe, little do they know that I’M Charlie Sheen. And I’m escaping right under their noses.”

kate hudson has breast implants. in this picture.

By brendon April 15, 2010 @ 11:30 AM

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Hopefully Kate Hudson kept her receipt because according to Us weekly she got breast implants about 3 weeks ago, meaning they were in when she went to the pool this weekend in Miami. Believe it or not.

An insider says in the new issue of Us Weekly that a plastic surgeon performed a small breast augmentation on the actress, 31, in late March. And the mom to son Ryder, 6, looked noticeably fuller on top while poolside in Miami on April 9.
Explains another source, “Kate makes jokes about her boobs, but her chest has always been one of her biggest insecurities.”

It seems hard to believe that they make breast implants this small. Whats the point? Who are they for? Like sex change people? I bet the doctor just put her under then punched her in the chest a few times.

(below: old Kate Hudson. above: voluptuous new Kate Hudson)