Oprah Lied, Switzerland Died

August 14, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I wouldn’t fuck with Oprah. She’s big and rich and vindictive. But, somebody has got to speak truth to fat power and that somebody is the anonymous store clerk from the Swiss store where Oprah claims she was the... READ MORE

Simon Cowell Parties With Friends On His Yacht

August 14, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s good to be Simon Cowell I guess. Or just really fucking rich and famous. Some men would be phased by learning they accidentally knocked up their friend’s wife and she’s keeping the baby. I remember a girlfriend once... READ MORE

Amputee Athlete Reunited With Stolen Wheelchair

August 14, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I told you yesterday about an evil bag of dicks who stole the custom wheelchair of world class handicapped swimmer Philippe Croizon. Today a truck driver found the all-terrain wheelchair in an car park after the shitdick that stole... READ MORE

Madonna’s Daughter Has Big Ambitions

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody was ever cursed more with a blessing than Shelly Kitts. Shelly started developing in grade school. By the time high school rolled around, Shelly was saddled with two Texas sized humps on her chest. She could barely move.... READ MORE

Myla Sinanaj Calls Herself ‘The Anti-Kim,’ Makes Sex Tape

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kris Humphries did what any idiot would do after learning he was played by Kim Kardashian, he went and humped the shit out of a Level 3 whackjob who looked sort of similar to Kim. In the process he... READ MORE

Sydney Leathers Signs Huge Deal With iHookup

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Carlos Danger’s favorite text pal Sydney Leathers has reportedly signed a six-figure deal with sexy app iHookup. You’ll recall that Sydney is the slutty slut slut at the center of Anthony Weiner’s latest jerkoff scandal. She’s already released a... READ MORE

Chrissy Teigen Models Bikinis

August 13, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chrissy Teigen shocked nobody yesterday when she re-announced on Joan Rivers fashion show the fact that she doesn’t like to ever wear underwear. Some guys find this sexy. I suppose it foretells one less step in getting some. I... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus Wears Miley Cyrus Disguise

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Miley Cyrus tried to avoid detection from paparazzi by shielding her face with a designer handbag and a sweat shirt with her name printed on it in big bold letters. The photographers grumbled about Miley covering her face with... READ MORE

Kelly Brook Continues To Be So Brave

August 13, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Women are cheated on by their douchebag boyfriends and husbands on a daily basis, but there are only so many hours in a day to try to pretend to care about all of them, so we’ll just stick to... READ MORE

Kate Moss In A Bikini

August 13, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kate Moss is an old thirty-nine. It’d be easy to blame her premature aging on her fair skin, too much sun exposure, and a demanding work schedule. But then you’d have to ignore the booze and coke and cigarettes.... READ MORE