tiger woods really loved cheating

By brendon December 07, 2009 @ 11:46 AM

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Elin Nordegrens divorce attorney can add two more names to the paperwork today, with the news that Tiger Woods was also sleeping with a club girl in Manhattan named Cori Rist and a lingerie model in Vegas named Jamie Jungers (pictured above, though not the one I would have chosen).

Tigers sex list now includes Cori, this new Jamie, the other Jamie, Rachel Uchitel, the white girl who sounds black, me, you, you again (fag), some kid who came by the house selling candles, the LA Sparks, a stuffed Garfield, and his wife (not confirmed).

carrie underwood is in trouble

By brendon December 07, 2009 @ 10:56 AM

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Carrie Underwood spent the weekend in the Bahamas at whatever the hell The Cove is, and this girl has a lot to learn about Country music. I don’t like that kind of music but I do like stereotypes, and according to those she should be swimming in some cut off jeans held up with a rope belt and a t shirt that says “Whites Only” and then an arrow pointing toward her kitty. I bet these pictures will be a big scandal when her fans see them.

(source = splash news online)

prepare to be disappointed

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 8:24 PM

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Jaimee Grubbs is that girl who was sleeping with Tiger Woods. Not the Swedish one or the tan one or the one who sounds black but isn’t. The other one. The one who has almost certainly never been asked for naked pictures but who sends them out anyway.

Tiger Woods’ mistress Jaimee Grubbs emailed naked photos of herself to an ex-boyfriend, the man told RadarOnline.com in an exclusive interview.
Two are taken in a bathroom, one showing her topless from the front, and the other taken with her back facing the camera. Another shot is taken in a different room and she is wearing boyshorts imprinted with the words, “wish you were here.”

I like to pretend we’ll be spared the fate of seeing these but that seems unlikely. At least she’s in good shape. It could be worse. It can’t be as bad as that topless picture Lindsay took of herself in the mirror (this). Lindsay is so GD ugly at this point whenever I open a new picture of her portraits on the wall around my house cover their eyes and my plants all die.

(picture source = pacific coast)

miley got a new tat

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 5:38 PM

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Miley Cyrus got a tattoo under her left breast that says “Just Breathe”, which is weird because generally the only people to see that will be boys she’s about to have sex with it. Seems a little conceited to assume any guy who sees her tits is gonna hyperventilate. How spazzy are the guys she’s doing it with where she had to write permanent instructions across her body? The other breast must have “no” and then a drawing of teeth under it. And there’s probably an arrow on her stomach pointing down and then a green check mark above her kitty and a red X over her ass.

(source = mavrix online)

hayden panettiere is underage

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 3:49 PM

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Hayden Panettiere only turned 20 less than three months ago, but apparently she’s not good with numbers because yesterday she was walking around with a case of Coors Light. By most accounts she’s a pain in the ass with an delusional sense of entitlement, but I’m a big fan of saying hello to friendly dogs, and I’m a huge fan of young girls who are short and skinny getting drunk, so maybe I can get past her bad attitude and we can do it.  Versatility, that’s my middle name.

rachel uchitel seems friendly

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 2:40 PM

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These pictures of homewrecker Rachel Uchitel, taken last summer in Malibu, presumably a few hours before getting Dorffed, show this young lady in a whole new light. Some girls are all stuck up and when you go to the beach they won’t let you rub their breasts or stab at their vagina with your hands. Well la-di-da, pardon me your majesty.

lindsay lohan is denying that jessica alba rumor

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 1:25 PM

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(NOTE: I’d like to get an erection this weekend, so I’m not gonna risk looking up Lohan pictures just because the story is about her. So instead, hey look, it’s Denise Milani decorating a Christmas tree while her huge boobs spread holiday cheer to all. Specifically to my cock.)

Two days ago it was mentioned (here) that Lindsay Lohan was allegedly caught kissing Jessica Albas husband, Cash Warren. The story was that Cash was out with his friends and Lindsay was at the same bar (A bar? Oh I know. I was surprised too). Us magazine said…

Soon after discovering one another at Villa, Warren and Lohan “ignored friends and just chatted.” The real trouble began half an hour in. “Lindsay and Cash started making out,” an onlooker tells Us.
“Lip on tongue,” the eyewitness continues, “It was raw. They were not shy!”
Another Villa patron that night gasped, “It was a shock to see the two of them kiss, but it was real.”

No one in their right mind would believe that any man would go from Jessica Alba, who is physically perfect, to Lindsay Lohan, who would be like fucking a chain link fence. But Lindsay gave E! online a denial anyway.

“Cash Warren is a BUSINESS partner, nothing more, nothing less. And I have NO interest in anything but focusing on my career/work, as well as my family, and getting everyone holiday gifts! Eeeks-stressful!”

Someone needs to go back to Writing A Denial school because none of that made any sense whatsoever. The next time she’s asked about it this dumb bitch might as well put her finger under her nose like it was a mustache and say she’s not Lindsay.

tiger woods got high for sex

By brendon December 04, 2009 @ 11:33 AM

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This story is kind of disappointing considering it starts out by saying that Tiger Woods and his girlfriend would have sex while high on drugs, so if you tell anyone about it later you should embellish it with a bunch of lies to jazz it up. Radar says…

Uchitel told friends that she and Tiger liked to have sex while taking the drug Ambien. Uchitel told one pal, ‘You know you have crazier sex on Ambien – you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.’”
Ambien is a sedative used for short-term treatment of insomnia. Many people claim it enhances sexual experience dramatically immediately after ingesting it.

It might not be the most flattering thing in the world if a girl wants to take powerful sedatives before having sex with you. But whatever. If a girl is hot enough she put on headphones and paint the windows black for all I care, just roll over and hold still.