Victims should not be mocked

By brendon June 28, 2009 @ 2:59 PM

oanda

I suppose it’s possible that Megan Fox will let you bang her in the ass before midnight tonight, but short of that the most awesome thing that will happen to you all day is when you hear Opie and Anthony (official site here) and the great Patrice O’Neal listen to a now very famous youtube video.

This has astoundingly NSFW language, so keep that in mind if co-workers would object to the sounds of anal rape and then you pounding your desk in uncontrolled spasms of laughter.

Morning headlines

By brendon June 28, 2009 @ 8:00 AM

31983PCN_Isla

JANET JACKSON – made an appearance at last nights BET Awards as part of the celebration of Michael Jacksons life. When she was done, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx “performed a somber version of the Jackson 5 classic ‘I’ll Be There’”.  And when they were done, all the white people said, “Who the hell was that?” (source = the ap)

BILLY MAYS – the Oxi-Clean guy who yells at everyone until you buy his stuff was found dead in his home Sunday morning. He was only 50, and no cause is known, but the night before his US Air flight blew a tire while landing and something fell and hit his head. So did that kill him, did US Air murder Billy Mays? Uhh, yeah sure why not. (source = la times)

ISLA FISHER – there were more pictures of Isla but I didn’t look at those because I didn’t want to find out that these were just a good angle and her rack isn’t really that awesome. I’m happier not knowing sometimes. (source = pacific coast)

This is getting out of hand

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 2:58 PM

late show celebs 10 260609

Megan Fox has been caught before walking around and licking her lips, but lately seems to be doing it more and more. Yesterday on her way in to Letterman she did it non-stop. I can’t even imagine how hot it would be to stand in front of her during that. Even if it was just a trick to distract me while someone crept up from behind to whack me in the head with a brick, my dying words would be, “Oh god … I wanna … fuck you … so bad …”

(28 more Megan Fox pics here. hq jump here. source = wenn)

Michael Jackson headlines

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 12:55 PM

1spl109726_009

NOTE – All this is either depressing or boring considering what you think about Michael Jackson, so you can either read this version or a sexy version over here. It’s the exact same stuff, but the hot version is surrounded by a bunch of naked girls with big tits.

- Ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley partially blames Michael’s death on the “awful vampires and leeches” around him. Unfortunately she was speaking in hyperbole to illustrate a point, and he wasn’t actually attacked by vampires, because that would have been kick-ass. (star)

- The American premier for Bruno was held just hours after Jacksons death, which was awkward considering the movie had a scene with Jacksons sister LaToya. Thankfully they we’re able to cut her scenes in time for the premiere, and today they announced those will not be in any future releases. (ew)

- The doctor who administered the fatal dose of demerol to Michael Jackson was interviewed last night by the LAPD, and the, “reports he was missing are erroneous. Detectives will be talking with him again at some point.” (radar)

- The 911 call for help after Jackson went into cardiac arrest has been released. The person who makes the call says Jackson was “not breathing and unconscious (and) not responding to CPR. The caller says the doctor on scene — Dr. Conrad Murray — was the only witness” (tmz)

- Debbie Rowe, the mother of Michaels kids Prince Michael, 12, and Paris, 11, is now expected to seek full custody. (people)

- Janet Jackson was in Atlanta at the time of his death but has now arrived in LA as funeral preparations begin. (us.com)

And I realize that Zoo magazine isn’t new, but it’s what I had immediately available. UK magazines are awesome, but that one needs a better headline. “All New British Boobs” makes it sound like pictures of a bunch of 12-year olds.

Thank god

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 11:27 AM

31947PCN_Mccord

The world that this dumbass page focuses on has taken a weird turn this week, one I don’t approve of. Thankfully “90210″ is filming pool scenes in Beverly Hills today. So, wait, THEY have a pool like that too, where sexy young girls walk around in bikinis and seductively lick ice cream?  Man, what a coincidence.

(14 more pics here. hq jump here. for some reason these published in reverse order, but I’m way too lazy to figure out why so there you go. source = pacific coast and flynet)

“that’s what caused his death”

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 9:10 AM

1spl109726_034

TMZ has a story now that essentially confirms the Suns report this morning, that Michael Jackson died yesterday after a overdose of the pain killer demerol.

“A close member of Michael Jackson’s family has told us Jackson received a daily injection of a synthetic narcotic similar to morphine — Demerol — and yesterday he received a shot at 11:30 AM.  Family members are saying the dosage was “too much” and that’s what caused his death.”

Police would love to ask the doctor who administered the shot about all this, but he has apparently beat it (zing!):

…law enforcement is looking for a doctor who lived at Michael Jackson’s home — and the doctor is nowhere to be found … sources tell us a BMW belonging to the doctor was towed from Jackson’s home last night … the doctor gave Jackson an injection before he died.

That dude better run and keep running, because cops make a frowny face when you stab someone with a barrel full of drugs and then they die.

They won’t take his money

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 8:18 AM

56547328

The only redeeming part of Perez Hiltons self-serving non-apology yesterday was the second to last paragraph, when he said:

“I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.”

Shepard, if you don’t remember, was a gay teenager who was tortured and killed in Wyoming in 1998. The foundation is run by Matthews mom, who unfortunately for Hilton has what they call “dignity”.  Some highlights from a statement she posted last night:

“The Matthew Shepard Foundation was surprised to learn this morning via media reports that blogger Perez Hilton has announced plans to donate, to our organization, the proceeds of a lawsuit…
We had no advance notice or contact from Mr. Hilton or his representatives regarding this proposal, nor any communication since he posted this plan to his website.
We do not know the details of the lawsuit, whether it has been filed, the nature of his claims or the likely outcome. But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.
…we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people’s attention the consequences of hateful or intolerant language.”

If you’re a gay guy in the news because someone punched you, and the most prominent gay rights organization has asked you to apologize, and a charity who works to end violence against gay people won’t take money from you, I think it’s safe to say you’re a piece of shit.

(I’m a big Hollywood star, far too self-centered to donate time or money to worthwhile causes, but this woman should be commended. Everyone reading this should donate anything you can here. I know you fuckers have a spare 10 dollars.  HEROIC UPDATE – I am now a member of yet another gay rights leadership council (screencap).  I can’t even keep track of how many I belong to at this point.  50?)

This probably won’t be surprising

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 6:15 AM

michael jackson police escort 090609
Michael Jackson has been a fragile mess for years now, surrounded by rumors of a pain killer addiction for almost two decades. So an early report in todays Sun UK claiming this is what killed him may have some validity, or may just be an obvious guess. I mean, c’mon, how’d you think he was gonna die? Fight club?

Michael Jackson’s upcoming tour and “life threatening” addiction to painkillers pushed the fragile star to breaking point, it was claimed today.
The King of Pop was under immense pressure to perform a series of epic concerts in London as part of his “This Is It” tour.
Yesterday, the Jackson family’s lawyer said his addiction to medications had become serious.
He feared this, along with growing pressure from his inner circle in preparation for the concerts, had contributed to his death.
The star died last night after a cardiac arrest. He collapsed and stopped breathing after an injection of a powerful painkiller named Demerol.

Stuff like this is why I’m glad I stopped do so many hardcore drugs. What changed my life was an Aaron Carter poster that said Drugs are for Slugs. And I looked at my demerol and I thought about how disappointed Aaron Carter would be if he could see what I was doing.