1952 – 2009

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 9:14 PM

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In January of 2008, Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer. Stage IV is the final of the five stages (0,1,2,3,4), meaning the cancer had already spread to other organs. Given just weeks to survive, he continued to travel with his wife of 34 years, to work on his A&E series ‘the Beast’ and to defy the odds. Until today.

Patrick Swayze, the actor and classically trained dancer whose role in the enduringly popular “Dirty Dancing” made him a movie star, one who struggled with the alienation of fame and against being typecast as a leading man, died Monday. He was 57.
Swayze, who also starred in the blockbuster film ” Ghost,” died with his family at his side, his publicist, Annett Wolf, told the Associated Press.

When I die my greatest hope is that it will be after a life well lived, with someone I love, and my final days marked with dignity. Instead of going to hookers and crying because I can’t get an erection, which is what I do now.

afternoon headlines

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 6:32 PM

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KANYE WEST – has apologized to Taylor Swift again but tonight he can do it on TV because he’s a guest on the new Jay Leno show. Kanye is only scheduled as a musical guest, but it would be hard to not mention last night. Of course Kanye will probably take the microphone and yell at everyone so Jays questions won’t really matter anyway. (ap)

WHITNEY HOUSTON – tells Oprah that Bobby Brown once spit in her face. No one likes a tattle-tale Whitney. (ny daily news)

BRITNEY SPEARS – saw a male model named Bekim Trenova in a magazine and decided he should be her boyfriend, so she faked an audition for one of her videos. When he arrived there was no camera crew, just Britney. “But Bekim found the whole thing ‘weird’ and made a polite but excuse ridden escape.” That’s why my fake production office is surrounded by a wall of fire. (ny daily news)

JAYDE NICOLE – Hef may be (is) 1900 years old, but his penises decision making is mint condition. Jayde Nicole is awesome, like a discount Megan Fox, and this months Playmate (Kimberly Phillips – nsfw pic and centerfold) is even hotter. Point being, Jayde hit Miami Beach today with her family but without her dumbass boyfriend. In fact they haven’t been together in almost a week. Don’t worry Jayde, I get the message. Loud and clear. You want me to kill Brody Jenner. I’m way ahead of you.
(10 more pictures here. hq jump here. source = splash news online)

sometimes katy is awesome

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 3:22 PM

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More often than not, Katy Perry dresses like a special needs student and does everything she can to look unattractive. But every now and then, she’ll remember she’s a hot girl with huge breasts and dress accordingly. Last night at the MTV VMAs was one of those times. You would be really mad if you’re one of those religious people who think semen should only be used for procreation and masturbation wastes the gift of life, because I just destroyed more life in one shot than Darth Vader when he blew up that planet.

(20 more pictures here. hq jump here. source = splash and wenn)

who wore it better?

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 1:46 PM

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Not only did Elinu, the High Priest in the 1956 movie ‘the Mole People’, work the same hat as Lady GaGa (left) 50 years earlier, but he looked sexier doing it. And yes, I am in a position to judge GaGa based on looks. I know I’m hot.  It’s part of who I am, and it’s just easier to acknowledge it.

okay. thats enough.

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 1:21 PM

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I don’t know what little girl decided the MTV VMA’s should be the same day as NFL opening weekend, but did anyone even watch that crap? And if so, why? Was it to see Lady GaGa and her shocking outfits? If so, I hate you.

There’s a thin line between “creative artist” and “f**king retard”. Anyone can do this dumb shit. It’s not hard. I can dress as a muffin with butter, or make a hat out of a crocodile head so my face is peeking out of its open mouth and the crocodile body hangs down my back like a cape. “Ohhh, look at me everyone, I’m a complex artist who refuses to conform with your safe little ideas about fashion.”

Actually, no. No I’m not. I just made up some dumb shit because I want attention. God these two fug morons deserve each other. When does that lady who ran Selena’s fan club get out? And when can she get a new gun?

kanye is really sorry

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 12:13 PM

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You knew the caps-lock key was gonna catch a beating once Kanye sobered up and someone told him what he did to Taylor Swift.

I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!

He can’t be that sorry because he does this sort of thing all the time. Award shows should tag him like scientists do with caribou, and whenever they see his red dot moving toward the stage, they can put up the Kanye “technical difficulties” card until he’s done ruining everyone’s night. The one I made is just a suggestion. The real ones will be a lot better. Like one could have a Kanye in a straight jacket running away from men in white coats as they try to catch him with those big butterfly nets.

why did kanye do it?

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 4:40 AM

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There may never be any way to know for sure why Kanye West stormed the stage last night and interrupted Taylor Swift as she accepted Best Female Video at the MTV VMA’s. Oh wait never mind. It turns out there is a way, and that way would be to look at the pictures of him before the show as he got drunk as hell. We did it! We cracked the case!

(hq jump here. source = getty images)

Kanye really is a dick

By brendon September 14, 2009 @ 3:55 AM

I don’t know what phrase means the exact opposite of “Breaking News”, but if you know it, write it down on a post-it note and stick it on your computer screen in front of the headline, because the (insert phrase here) from last nights MTV VMA’s was that Kanye West is an asshole who must be the center of attention at all times or he’ll throw a hissy fit.

The first winner of the night, Taylor Swift for best female video, was rudely and quickly interrupted by Kanye West, who cut off her acceptance speech. He stole the microphone to announce that fellow nominee Beyoncé had “one of the greatest videos of all time,” in “Single Ladies.”
“I was standing on stage and I was really excited because I’d just won the award and then I was really excited because Kanye West was on stage,” Swift recalled after the show. “And then I wasn’t excited anymore after that.”

It’s too bad Taylor is so nice. Because if Kanye was surprised that Beyonce didn’t win the award, imagine how shocked he would be to have that same award broken off in his ass.