Lindsay Lohan now lives next door to Samantha Ronson

By brendon January 04, 2011 @ 9:59 AM

General View, GV , Lindsay Lohan Home

Let’s be perfectly clear: Lindsay Lohan is white trash, granted it’s white trash with very nice tits. White trash often has the nicest tits for some reason, or maybe it’s just that they’re the ones who let you see them the most.

But she’s definitely white trash, from a family of white trash, and she’s not ever gonna change, at least not until she has to suffer some real consequences for her actions. Which she hasn’t. And that’s why, yesterday, before she even left drug rehab, she moved in next door to – and I don’t mean that in a general sense, I mean literally 30 feet away from – Samatha Ronson. That’s both their houses in the picture above. Lindsays is on the right.

Ronson, you no doubt remember, is her ex girlfriend, the girl who works in bars and clubs and has been the central figure in Lindsays life for the past 2 years, when she was at her drunkest, highest and most useless, when she starred in way more mug shots than movies. Ronson even showed up yesterday while movers were unpacking Lindsays stuff.

In summation, if you live in Venice, run, run as fast as your legs will carry you, and don’t stop until you reach Irvine. Go, now, leave everything, forget about your parents, they had their chance, save yourself.

nice catch Maria Menounos! btw I can see your vagina.

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 5:13 PM

Maria Menounos

Maria Menounos played some football on Miami beach yesterday, and, I’m not sure how but her bikini bottoms kept slipping around and flashing her vagina. Does it have a wooden frame for christs sake, how does it keep sliding around like that?

(source = inf daily)

brace yourself: Lindsay Lohan is NOT staying in rehab

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 4:34 PM

rock the kasbah 271009

Earlier it was reported that Lindsay Lohan was staying in rehab another week because she was so committed to her recovery, but now there’s a story that’s so shocking, I’m scared to touch my monitor, for lightning bolts might literally leap out of the screen and electrocute me.

Lindsay Lohan has been released from the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California  after a 90-day stint in rehab, Radar has learned.

Oohhh, gosh, you don’t say. So what was that bullshit about staying longer?

“Even though Lindsay is free from the court order on January 3, she has decided she only wants to be released from Betty Ford once her new living arrangements (on the beach in LA) are complete and ready for her arrival,” an insider close to Lohan’s camp said.
“In the event her the home is ready, she will be released Monday — if not, it could be Tuesday.”

So she was just gonna hang out at Betty Ford until her new drug den was finished. Yeah that makes more sense. That sounds more like Lindsay. I wonder where her new house is. I can hardly wait for her next police report to find out the details.

Chloe Sevigny is in a bikini

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 3:26 PM

48833PCN_Sevigny

Chloe Sevigny is almost cute but isn’t, her tits are almost big but not quite, and her ass is just a little bigger than it should be. Put it all together it’s an unattractive androgynous mess. Nothing is right about her. It’s like she was made with a bunch of leftover parts that no one else wanted. Like Frankenstein. This somehow got way more insulting than I meant it to.

Lindsay is staying in rehab. Voluntarily.

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 2:08 PM

nu pop movement 131109

Lindsay Lohan was court ordered to stay in rehab until January 3rd, so she could leave today if she wanted too, but for some reason, probably because she’s still negotiating with the paparazzi for her first pictures, she now claims she’ll stay another week. TMZ says…

we’re told she may stay until the weekend to get additional treatment.
Sources tell us Lindsay is taking precautions before reentering day-to-day life, and is talking with people at the Betty Ford Center about reentering the residential day treatment program until Saturday.
Maybe this time it’s working …

Yeah that must be it. It’s because she’s so serious about rehab. She’s been in there since October 22nd but she needs one more week. It’s not because she wants to turn this into a bigger story, because there was no buildup to her release because of the holiday. Oh no, not at all. It’s because Lindsay Fucking Lohan, who two weeks ago was violating probation because she was in a bar, is serious about rehab. If you threw an ounce of coke in the middle of the street right now she would dive between the cars and then rape it.

prepare to fall in love: Jennifer Love Chewitt is in a bikini

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 12:22 PM

love_hewitt_b-gr

Jennifer Love Hewitt spent New Years Eve in Hawaii with her easily impressed boyfriend Alex Beh, and the picture source said he was “hanging out on a waterproof bean bag”. I assume they mean these things in the river and not Hewitt, because, though accurate, they should really be more professional than to describe Hewitt as a “waterproof bean bag”. Come on, you guys.

(source = bauer griffin)

Monday morning headlines

By brendon January 03, 2011 @ 10:39 AM

The Town

PETE POSTLEHWAITE – died last night, from cancer. He was 64, and made his career by looking 64 for the past 20 years while being the best actor in movies like the Usual Suspects, Inception, and the Town. Called “the best actor in the world” by Steven Spielberg, he gave a movie credibility and made at least part of it good. I’ll get you for this cancer! (people)

LINDSAY LOHAN – gets out of rehab today, and this time will be totally different from the other 90 times she’s broken the law or gone to rehab or both. This time she even went to Whole Foods and read a magnet, then posted it on twitter. “The future depends on what we do in the present.” Oh shit. She’s so different now. If she tweets the Emerson one about what lies inside of me, I’ll vote for her to be President of Earth. She’s an amazing woman now!!! (huff post)

DAVID ARQUETTE - has entered rehab for addiction to alcohol and depression. Looks like someone didn’t read Lindsays magnet. (e!)

SITE NEWS – OK I’ve clearly been lazy as hell lately. Actually that’s not true, I’ve been working on other stuff for the site, but either way the page has been slow for a few weeks and I apologize. But that’s wrapped up, for the most part, and I still have some stuff to catch up on, like the top 100, but now the page will be back to normal. Which means mediocre. Honestly if I were you I’d go watch some TV or something. Have you seen Nikita. That’s a good show. And they put Maggie Q in yoga pants a lot. I would go watch that if I were you.

the top 100 stories of 2010 (50-59)

By brendon December 31, 2010 @ 3:27 PM

39097PCN_Haylie

59. HAYLIE DUFF – got huge implants. Was this really one of the biggest stories of the year? Probably not, no, I just really like girls with big tits. (April 1st)

58. INCEPTION – has a striking number of similarities to a Scrooge McDuck comic from 2002, the same year Christopher Nolan began writing the screenplay. Some say Nolan stole the idea, but maybe the writers of Scrooge McDuck stole the idea from Nolans dreams. Oh I know right? Shit just got real, bro. (August 3rd)

57. DARREN ARONOFSKY – is one of the very best directors alive, and he might win an Oscar for Black Swan, and yet his next movie will be the sequel to Wolverine. He could have said he was gonna start taking senior portraits and it wouldn’t have been more surprising. (October 18th)

56. SARAH JESSICA PARKER – was this years Madonna, meaning she’s an old lady who thinks it’s hot if you can see her tendons. And she’s right. Guys love girls who look like trees. (April 21st)

55. LINDSAY LOHAN – got punched in the face by a waitress, and although she didn’t inflict much damage, it’s the thought that counts. (July 2nd)

54. CHRISTINA AGUILERA – divorced her husband Jordan Bratman, a story that would have been higher on the list but she’s not pretty any more and so now she has no value. (October 12th)

53. JULIA ROBERTS – is the most beautiful person in the world, according to People. And you can see why. I would say not just this world, but the whole galaxy, and heaven too. (April 28th)

52. SNOOKI – had naked pictures for sale, but someone told me it wasn’t Snooki at all and since the pictures never materialized, I’m inclined to think that person was right. You can tell it’s not Snooki because she’s on all fours but not scooching her ass across the carpet. (February 12th, February 15th)

51. KENDRA WILKINSON – released a sex tape, but only after lying, poorly, time and time again about where it came from and how it got released. You really need to know your limits in life. If you’re dumb, let someone else think up the plans. (May 5th, May 6th)

50. MILEY CYRUS – wore a bikini a lot. You know that saying, “practice makes perfect”? Not always true as it turns out. (May 24th, May 25th)