Britney Spears looks kinda hot in a bikini

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 12:14 PM

Britney Spears was in a yellow string bikini in Hawaii today

Britney Spears filmed an episode of ‘Glee’ last week, and the week before that she was back in the studio recording tracks for a new record, so obviously this week it was time to go to Hawaii for a vacation with her boyfriend Jason Trawick. The stress after working for 2 weeks must have been unbearable. She’s gonna have a heart attack by 30 if she keeps up this pace.

(image source = splash news online)

Heidi Montag wants her implants out

By brendon August 25, 2010 @ 11:12 AM

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Having DDD implants is literally the one and only thing that makes Heidi Montag interesting in any way. Before she got those I banned her from the site (two weeks before E! did the same). But huge breasts makes girls more tolerable, so now she’s back. For now.

?Heidi Montag sat down exclusively with Life & Style to tell-all about her plastic surgery regrets, revealing that she wants her outrageous G implants removed.
“I’m desperate to go back to normal. I’m downgrading and going a little smaller, to a D or a double D.”
More than nine months after she went under the knife on Nov. 20, Heidi says she is still in severe pain and her body has not gotten used to the over the top boob job. “I have major anxiety about it. I was taking painkillers but they weren’t working so I stopped. It hurt either way,”
Besides being unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing, “I’m obsessed with fitness but it’s impossible to work out with these boobs,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
And while Heidi is currently shopping for a surgeon in South America, she worries that she’ll be trapped in this cartoonish body forever. “I feel trapped in my own body.”

So, to recap, Heidi, who doesn’t speak Spanish, is looking for a plastic surgeon in South America, whose leading exports are drugs, drugs, shortstops, drugs, kids who can chase a chicken down the street, and drugs.

Even if I wasn’t incredibly racist, this would be a terrible idea. She’s a Nordic-looking princess with huge tits, and she wants to take her clothes off and get drugged. The white slavery rings are gonna think it’s Christmas morning.

(image source of heidi on the set of the adam sandler movie ‘just go with it’ back in march = splash and pcn)

Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 9:49 PM

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On July 6th, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail and 90 days in rehab, but this is LA and she’s famous, so instead she served 13 days in private jail and three weeks in rehab, and today she was released.

People says…

A hearing is set for Wednesday morning at a Beverly Hills courthouse before a new judge, Elden Fox, who may order additional out-patient care.
As of now, Lohan also is subject to random drug and alcohol testing until the end of her probation term in August 2011, but those conditions could change at the hearing.

If this were a commercial for old black and white horror movie, they would show a scene of Lindsay entering a bar tonight after 5 weeks without a drink, and the narrator guy would say, “Midnight, when the clock strikes TERROR!!!

Lindsay Lohan has signed her discharge papers

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 5:37 PM

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Lindsay is getting out of rehab, probably today, and in fact she might already be out.

Everybody panic.

Lindsay Lohan signed her rehab discharge papers on Tuesday.
Lindsay will be released from her court-ordered drug and alcohol rehabilitation at UCLA Medical Center early – and may be out as early as Tuesday, Radar has learned.
Lohan had a court hearing scheduled for Wednesday but a plan was secretly formulated to release her Tuesday and avoid a media frenzy.
It is possible her release could be delayed to Wednesday, but everything is set for her release, including a three-car decoy to get her out of UCLA and away from the media.

UCLA set up a three-car decoy? Jesus can we please stop with the celebrity ass kissing. I wouldn’t even give her time to pack. I would say her mom called and there’s an emergency at home, and say “there’s a phone right over here”, then push her outside and lock the door.

Heidi Montags sex tape “scandal” is a lie of course

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 5:09 PM

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You would think this would go without saying, but you can’t go around selling movies of people having sex without their consent. Sexually explicit pictures or video has to meet very strict laws. That’s why I can’t sell my documentary called, “My Neighbor Tans Topless”.

So when news broke that Heidi Montag had a sex tape for sale, some of it even lesbian stuff with Playmate Karissa Shannon, very obviously they were a part of it.

Read more >

Naomi Campbell forgot something

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 3:09 PM

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Ever wanted to see Naomi Campbells gash? Yeah me neither. And yet, here she is with Sarah Ferguson in Sardegna, Italy, bending over in a short skirt with no panties on. Luckily these are all from the back. She’s an evil monster. Knowing this mean bitch, her vagina probably has snapping jaws that comes out of it like the Queens mouth in Alien.

(source = inf daily)

Beyonce is in a bikini :(

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 1:49 PM

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Beyonce and Jay Z are on some massive yacht in Monaco Bay today, and for the most part Beyonce stayed pinned down as if somebody was shootin at her. Which was annoying until she got up, perhaps to see if the timer on her cookies had gone off. “Ohh yeahh,” I said to myself at that point. “Her body is disgusting, I forgot.”

You know you have a giant ass when your bikini comes with a big thick waistband to reinforce the seams. It’s the kind of thing they put on straight jackets. Her idea of sexy talk is probably to tell Jay, “I want you to take me. To town. So I can get a pizza.”

(image source = splash news online)

someone tried to kill Paris Hilton :)

By brendon August 24, 2010 @ 12:28 PM

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Just a few hours ago, Paris Hilton went on her twitter to say that one of her biggest fans tried to break into her house this morning and give her a stabby present lol.

“So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting (him).”

And then she posted the picture above (full size copy here) showing this young go getter in handcuffs, being hassled by the man. This is obviously very sad and serious but Paris Hilton sucks so who gives a fuck. Life is a precious gift, but let’s not get carried away.

DISAPPOINTING UPDATE – Look, everyone wants to stab Paris Hilton to death, I don’t think anyone has come here today to dispute that, but I don’t think it would have killed this guy to plan this out a little better. Paris told Radar she woke up when she heard the suspect banging on her windows and her dogs barking loudly. “What a scary sight to wake up to. I can’t believe the knives he was carrying. Thank god the police arrived quickly.”