this is gonna be a good movie

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 11:18 AM

The upcoming movie "Jonah Hex", starring Old Fashioned Megan Fox and presumably other people, is now filming in Louisiana, and since I don’t actually know what cowboy dancers or whatever it is she is wore to work back then, they’ve got the green-light to just go for it.  Just do it, put her in a white cotton dress and douse her with water.  This movie would make 100 billion dollars.  Honest to God, I’d throw myself down the stairs with a light bulb in my mouth to see Megan Fox naked.

brad pitt is cool

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 9:46 AM

Brad Pitt is one of the most famous people on earth, but he went relatively unnoticed this weekend when he took his boys Maddox and Pax to Niagara Falls.  Probably because it’s Brad Pitt, one of the most famous people on earth, and he’s wearing a little 2 dollar poncho thing at Niagara Falls.  How cool is this dude?  Mariah Carey would damn and drain the entire thing before she did this while surrounded by 10,000 cameras.

(source =  the buffalo news)

beyonce looks terrible

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 8:00 AM

I don’t know if there’s been some kind of misunderstanding but Kim Kardashian is terrific looking from the waist up(*).  There was no need to change anything there in any way, so the move to blond hair is perplexing.  She looks like a pale Beyonce or fat Jenna Haze, and neither of those things are good.  These two hours would have been better spent on a treadmill or operating table.   If you have an ass as big as Kims, and you think it’s okay because guys tell you all the time that it’s hot, I’ve got bad news for you: you’re imaginary.  You don’t exist.

(*)note: high waisted dress = not a friend to the big ass.

kathleen turners still got it

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 7:11 AM

Kathleen Turner hit up Mr. Chow for dinner last night, and I would have posted more pictures but these were the only ones they had.  “Please don’t eat me Ms. Turner, I am not Mr. Chow food”, begged the photographers.  “RaaaRRR!” responded Kathleen.

(image source = flynet)

lindsay needs to try harder

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 6:06 AM

Lindsay spent the weekend in Maui, and I’m all in favor of her staging bikini pictures, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that she try at least a little to hide her motives.  At least go to the beach, or a pool or bikini store, anywhere where bikinis might be appropriate.  I think she’s just going over to the paparazzi's house and taking off her clothes in their yard now.  If this doesn't work she can always press her tits against the glass behind Mat Lauer on the Today Show.

thats not how you do it

By brendon April 24, 2009 @ 1:06 PM

This picture of Jessica Biel learning to strip for the movie “Powder Blue” might reveal why movies about strippers always suck.  Wherever she is has bowling pins on the wall and metal scaffolding and all kinds of pads.  I think she’s training for the circus.  I don’t need a high wire act when I go to a strip club.  I just want a chick with huge tits to grind her ass into my crotch, not someone flipping from flagpole to flagpole like the little Chinese dude in "Oceans 11".

lindsay spent the night with sam

By brendon April 24, 2009 @ 12:08 PM

Several people are reporting that Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson spent about 6 hours together yesterday afternoon at Sam’s house, but X17 is reporting (and photographing) that they hooked up again a few hours later, and even spent the night together.

After leaving (a friends house) around 2am, Lindsay headed home, where she met up with Samantha … who stayed until 6am.  

I’m sure Lindsay thinks Sam is doing this because she loves her, but Sam is just like any other dude who dumps his long term girlfriend.  She thought she was gonna get crazy pussy once she was single again, hittin some hot new model every night.  Now it seems reality sunk in for Sam pretty quick, that Lindsay was the best she’s ever gonna do, because Lindsay is insane and Sam looks like my foot.

(image source = splash)

afternoon headlines

By brendon April 24, 2009 @ 10:42 AM

PAM ANDERSON – might be broke and living in a trailer park.  Courtney Love said: “Pam doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove — which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu."  That might be true, or Courtneys drug-soaked brain might just think it’s true.  It’s just as likely she thought she was tricking a talking dog who wanted money from Pam. (nyp)

MEL GIBSON  – bought a mansion in Sherman Oaks for his “second family”, meaning his commie gf and her 11-year-old son (from James Bond 4, Timothy Dalton).  Before that she was in a Malibu mansion down the road from Mel.  “It was convenient … He could be with Oksana and her son, and still be just minutes away from Robyn and their children."  He could argue he was just being “green” by keeping his girlfriend a short drive away, oh, but I’m sure his wife will bitch about this too. (ne)

TILA TEQUILA – dressed predictably slutty as she debuted her new pretend girlfriend outside Koi last night.  What happened to her last pretend girlfriend?  Who knows.  Maybe she ran off with Tilas pretend stalker, and they got married on GumDrop Island.  (image source = splash and pco)