Vanessa Hudgens was licking simple white chocolate

By brendon April 19, 2011 @ 5:35 PM

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Look, if you’re an agent or a manager or whatever, and there’s a rumor that your Disney star client did molly all weekend, I really don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to put a little effort into your bullshit excuse.

Vanessa Hudgens was snapped relaxing on the grass at Coachella, where at one point she reached into a little bag and then leaned forward to lick a white substance off her fingers.
Busted?
Hardly.
Hudgens’ rep assures E! News that the gooey substance was just white chocolate.

No one likes picturing Vanessa Hudgens licking a sticky white mess off her fingers and then swallowing it more than me, but holy shit this is stupid. She was going outside in 90 degree heat for the next 12 hours, with no cooler, so she put white chocolate in a ziploc bag and put it in her purse? Yeah that makes sense. It was her desert, in her purse right next to the milk and raw chicken breast.

(image source = pacific coast)

Charlie Sheen lost big in court today

By brendon April 19, 2011 @ 4:25 PM

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It might seem weird for a judge in a custody case to decide that a mother who is in drug rehab because she relapsed last week is still a fit parent, but in this case the father is Charlie Sheen. And he came to court with a prostitute. “Fit parent” is a relative term. Radar says…

Sheen lost his fight against his estranged wife Brooke Mueller for full custody of their two-year-old twin sons, Max and Bob.
According to a source, a judge in Los Angeles presiding over a closed door hearing just allowed Mueller to maintain primary legal and physical custody despite a well-publicized relapse in her crack cocaine addiction.
(While) Mueller undergoes drug treatment at an undisclosed rehab facility, her mother will provide primary care for the boys.

Obviously the real victim in this case is me and you. We’re the ones who are gonna get run over by those bastard kids in 15 years. Not only should they be taken away from both of these dipshits immediately, they should be whacked in the head until they forget where they came from and then given a blood transfusion with blood from Drew Brees or someone good like that.

Robert Pattinson is nice, has cool stories about clowns dying

By brendon April 19, 2011 @ 9:57 AM

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Every now and then it’s nice to hear about an actor who isn’t completely insane, or even more shocking; grateful. Especially one who became hugely famous seemingly overnight. That’s why it’s so hard to dislike Robert Pattinson, even though his movies practically demand it. Page Six says…

Robert Pattinson knows how to work a crowd.
The “Twilight” hunk showed up an hour before the premiere of “Water for Elephants” to schmooze with fans Sunday night.
His driver dropped him at the top of the block so he could stroll along West 54th Street and sign autographs.

Maybe he’s so nice because he knows how fickle fate can be. And what better way to learn that than by watching a clown burn to death. On the Today show yesterday he explained why, even though his new movie is about the circus, he’s only been once and has no desire to go back.

“The first time I went to a circus, somebody died. One of the clowns died.”
“His little car exploded. The joke car exploded on him. Everybody ran out. It was terrifying.”

At least the clown died doing what he loved; seeing someone throw a bucket towards him that was actually filled with confetti and spraying him with seltzer water. What a way to go!

(image source = inf daily and wenn)

Tuesday morning headlines

By brendon April 19, 2011 @ 12:10 AM

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JJ ABRAMS – has a new top secret movie project at Paramount, called Zanbato for now, with Japanese history and robotics as the major themes. One source described it as, “Swashbuckling robots with swords.” Cool. So how long until someone points out that robots are made of sword-proof metal. (deadline)

KANYE WEST – closed out Coachella Sunday night, and “delivered a grandiose, theatrical performance destined to be remembered as one of the greatest hip-hop sets of all time.” And safest. (thr and lat)

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – visited the final 7 contestants on American Idol Friday, though it’s not clear if he’ll be on air as a mentor. Too bad Pia Toscano isn’t still there. Just imagine the stirring conversation they could have had about Jersey. (e!)

FERGIE – was stopped by the TSA at LAX (again) this weekend. “Why is this old guy carrying a purse”, they asked as Fergie approached. “Somethings not right here.” (daily mail and splash news)

Lindsay Lohan wants to skip court to observe Good Friday

By brendon April 18, 2011 @ 5:08 PM

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I want to preface this by mentioning that the picture above, of Lindsay Lohan at Coachella, was taken yesterday. On Palm Sunday. Okay here we go…

(Lindsay Lohan will) ask the judge to cancel this Friday’s hearing because it’s Good Friday, a Christian holiday that marks the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
The postponement request was discussed last week during the meeting between Lindsay’s (attonrey, the DA, and the judge). 
While all involved agreed in principle, it’s not a done deal.
“The DA wants Lindsay’s lawyer to formally file the motion to continue the preliminary hearing,” the source said.
Lohan would still appear in court on Friday but just to hear Sautner formally rule on the motion. If a new date is set, it’s likely to be sometime next month. 

So Lindsay would still have to appear in court, she just won’t have her hearing. She’ll buy herself another month on that. Because she’s claiming to be religious. And for some reason the judge has to play along with this bullshit.

The only way this would be even remotely satisfying is if the judge answered Lindsays smart ass request by having a crown of thorns nailed into her head all day.

Vanessa Hudgens knows how to party

By brendon April 18, 2011 @ 4:55 PM

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As previously implied, Vanessa Hudgens had a kick ass time at Coachella this weekend, but that doesn’t mean she spent the whole time licking suspicious looking white powder. She also hit the bar pretty good (she’s 22, by the way).

Here we see her doing what looks like tequila shots and yelling at the bartender. Probably saying, “11 dollars for a well? Who am I, Bill Gates?”

(image source = pacific coast)

Edward Norton is still whining

By brendon April 18, 2011 @ 2:51 PM

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To recap: Hulk, starring Eric Bana as Bruce Banner, was generally considered to have failed at the box office, so Marvel pretended like it never happened and made an all new Hulk movie starring Edward Norton. That didn’t help, and it only made 5 million more than the first one (worldwide gross – budget = 114 vs 109).

Now Marvel is making a movie based on the Avengers, this time with Mark Ruffalo playing Bruce Banner, and Norton, who was more than happy to replace Bana under identical circumstances, is still whining about it

“I found it a cheap and unnecessary representation that it was about things other than money. They came to me avidly to talk about it and then, at the end of the day, it was just flat out a business decision.”
“I would say that blew back on them much worse than it blew back on me … Marvel’s going to have to deal with their own karma. They’ve got bigger problems than me.”

What Norton calls a “cheap and unnecessary representation” is that the Marvel CEO said they wanted to replace him with an actor who, “embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members”. In other words Norton is an annoying pain in the ass, one who takes credit for things he didn’t do, so fuck him. If he’d rather the CEO have said that I’m sure he can be reached for a comment.

Mariah Carey is joining Simon Cowell on X Factor

By brendon April 18, 2011 @ 12:06 PM

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American Idol is actually having a decent year, mostly thanks to Steven Tyler, but Pop Idol was a huge smash in the UK too before Simon Cowell left to start a show that was damn near identical, the X Factor, and forced it off the air. Now he’s putting together an American version.

Last month he somehow convinced LA Reid to be a judge, then yesterday it was reported he won’t be on the UK show this season to focus on being the second judge here, and just in case American Idol still wasn’t ready to hang themselves, then he went on the radio and said

“I think Mariah will have a role on the TV live shows. I met her recently and she was on great form. And her idea was to be the judge of the judges, which only Mariah could come up with. She’ll be involved in some form. I literally adore her. I love her to bits.”

Carey is still 8 months pregnant with twins, so she probably won’t be a weekly judge, though I would assume that’s Cowells ultimate goal. For now the rumored names as a third judge are Paula Abdul, Jessica Simpson, Nicki Minaj and Cheryl Cole, with Nicole Scherzinger as a potential host. Basically the only way Cowell could own Idol any more would be to build a trap door under their judges table and drop them into a pit filled with strobe lights and snakes.