THIS IS A TRAVESTY

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 10:53 AM

Most chicks are too uppity to dye their hair orange or pink or blood red, which sucks because that shit is hot.  My point being, today just went to hell because it seems Lily Allen has dyed her back its natural brown, even though she looked adorable when it was pink.  I think I might dye my girlfriends’ hair pink to fill the void.  It shouldn’t be hard to convince her, considering my "girlfriend" is a pillow in a dress and sunglasses and a mop for hair.  I'm so lonely!

EVERYONE HATES ACTORS. THIS IS WHY.

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 9:05 AM

As his daughter can attest, Alec Baldwin is a jackass. He’s a really good actor but his career isn’t what it could have been because he’s such a jerkoff. Now a movie, based on the Hollywood tell-all "What Just Happened" by Art Linson (producer of Fight Club, The Untouchables, etc.) will give people an idea of what that looks like. Aint It Cool says…

The particulars: Baldwin shows up to the set of THE EDGE sporting a full beard, which he deems appropriate for his character; the studio, already cheesed at shelling out $5 million for a non-bankable "star", flips and demands that he shave; Linson, facing the possibility of replacing Baldwin with the less physically intimidating Bill Pullman (hot off of ID4 at the time), girds for war and, roughly, the following blow-up occurs.

I think I need to rewatch that.  Does he want to keep the beard?  It didn't really say.



JENIFAA YOPEZ IS BACK, FAT

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 8:00 AM

Jennifer Lopez is somewhere today.  I don’t know, Italy maybe.  That’s where she was this weekend.  So she’s probably still there.  Anyway, she went swimming and then some stuff happened and then she got out and waddled around the deck, stopping only twice to gasp for air. Or maybe just to towel off.  I know this post hasn't been very informative, but I'm no fatty, so I don't really know what it is they do. The End. 

LINDSAY ADMITS SHE’S GAY. SORTA.

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 6:09 AM

The Daily Mail says that Lindsay Lohan has finally told the world she and Samantha Ronson are dating.  And that's not really true but whatever.  She does say she wants to continue to spend time with the person she cares about, and she’s with Samantha Ronson 205 hours a day, so it's assumed that is who she means, but she still won't come out and say it.  

Talking about her special someone Sam, Lindsay said: "I just wanna live a happy, healthy year, continue on the path that I've been on and be with the person that I care about. And my family."
And Sam must feel the same way because she posted a pic of her and Lindsay kissing on her MySpace page.
Sam enjoyed her first public outing with Lindsay's family at Disneyland in LA.
Then the girls partied all night in Teddy's nightclub, where Lindsay joined Sam in the DJ booth and whispered sweet nothings in her ear.
A pal said: "Sam and Lindsay are inseparable. Sam has been a really good influence on Lindsay.
"There is no one else special in Lindsay's life apart from Sam but it has taken her a while to feel like she can talk about their relationship.
"Lindsay hasn't dated any men since she started hanging around with Sam, and there has hardly been a day in the last two months when they have been apart.
"They have been shacked up in Lindsay's place and they spend weekends like a married couple going to the supermarket together.
"It's really sweet that Lindsay has found someone she can rely on and trust."

Whatever.  Lindsay is doin' this chick, but she's not gay.  She's lonely and confused, or more likely she's just up to the R's in the Hollywood phone book.

TARA REID IS ALL TARA REIDY

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 5:58 AM

No one asked, because all anyone is gonna look at in these pictures from the 4th of July is Tara Reids pokey tits and lumpy stomach, but I think a good name for the horsey on JC Chavez’s shirt would be "Winddancer".  Also, kudos to the guy in the red who brought what appears to be a radar gun.  That’s the secret right there.  Once girls see you can time how fast something is moving, panties come off.  “I'm not joking, if he times that butterfly, I'm fuckin him,” you’ll often hear.

DO NOT WANT

By brendon July 07, 2008 @ 1:24 PM

Portia De Rossi went topless on a yacht in Sardinia, Italy, over the weekend, which is good, but unfortunately her girlfriend Sean Penn Ellen DeGeneres was there too, and she was tanning with her legs spread open and her feet up in the air.  It’s a move she calls, Fuck You Clouds.

(picture source = inf daily)



JIM CAREY IS OUTRAGEOUS

By brendon July 07, 2008 @ 5:00 AM

Jim Carey and his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy were in Malibu this weekend for a Fourth of July party when Jim saw a joke in the works and put on Jenny’s swimsuit.  I bet he said something crazy when he came out, like, "Does this make me look fat?"  Ha.  Haha.  You see, it's funny because normally a gentleman would not wear a ladies swimsuit.  And then walk around. Get it?  Do you get it?  He and Robin Williams are the kings of this kind of wacky comedy.  Because screaming something quickly is the same thing as having a joke.  Oh look, now Robin is taking that reporters notes and pretending it’s a hat.  Oh golly.  Now he’s acting like it’s a handkerchief for a sport coat and doing a crazy "gay" voice.  You know those gays.  Always fiddling with their handkerchiefs.

(picture source = inf daily)



JENIFAA YOPEZ HAS STILL GOT IT

By brendon July 07, 2008 @ 4:50 AM

Jennifer Lopez and her hunky stud husband Marc Anthony are in Portofino, Italy today, and over the weekend Yopez stripped down to a swimsuit showing off her body, despite the fact that she gave birth to twins just a few months ago.  The world has been on pins and needles wondering is she could ever regain her famous fat ass and bear-like legs.  Oh hey good news.  If you nailed her from behind, I wonder if you could even still reach her.  Her ass goes back like three feet.  It would be like f’ing a centaur.

(picture source = inf daily