salma hayek at the ‘grown ups’ premiere

By brendon June 24, 2010 @ 12:44 AM

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Salma Hayek went to the New York premiere of her movie ‘Grown Ups’ last night in New York and she wore this awesome dress that pushed up her huge breasts. If I were to make a movie right now it would be called, ‘Grown, Up, And Hard Enough To Cut Glass’.

wednesday headlines

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 8:23 PM

CARLOS MENCIA - steals jokes. This of course was a bigger story when Joe Rogan confronted him on stage 3 years ago (video and backstory here), but this morning Opie and Anthony played an audio clip where Carlos actually admits it. It’s possible he was being sarcastic, but that would mean he actually wrote a joke by himself. Seems ridiculous when you think about it like that.

ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO – is Brazilian but she lives in Malibu and she posted a “Go USA” cheer with a bikini pic on twitter this morning after the US won their game in the World Cup. On a side note, if God had a girlfriend, this is what she would look like. (twitter)

ROBERT PATTINSON – is actually, honestly related to Dracula. Or at least Vlad the Impaler, who is widely considered to be the inspiration for Dracula. “Don’t you dare lump me in with those queers and fatties,” Vlad said when asked for a comment. (yahoo)

MICHAEL JACKSON – fans will be allowed to leave flowers near his grave site on the one year anniversary of his death. Which is bullshit. It should be closed. Wait, not closed. Enclosed. And then riddled with bullets. Good riddance weirdos. (abc)

HAYDEN PANETTIERE – went to LAX with her boyfriend, heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko. He’s from Kazakhstan, just like Borat, and those people don’t fuck around when it comes to putting women in their place. I see a dog crate, but I don’t see any dogs. I hope Hayden has some water and went to the bathroom.

kim kardashian is dating another football player

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 5:19 PM

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Kim Kardashian of course used to date Reggie Bush, who plays for the New Orleans Saints, but they broke up about 3 months ago and after that she was reportedly dating a few big time soccer players. Now she’s back to football players, but the new guy isn’t as famous as Reggie, and he doesn’t have one of these either. Advantage: Reggie. Going down on Kim must be like licking some old pennies because you know that freak had Reggie shove that ring in her. Us magazine says…

(Kim) cuddled up with Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin, 26, at Casa Vega in L.A.’s Sherman Oaks. “They sat in the back drinking margaritas,” says a witness.
A source says Kardashian, 29, is taking things slowly. “They are dating,” says a source close to her, “but she doesn’t want to rush anything.” Another Kardashian friend tells Us, “Kim wants to date someone who gets her busy lifestyle.”

Considering the Saints won the Superbowl last year, this could be a good luck charm for the Cowboys. They’ll really be in luck if Tony Romo wakes up tomorrow and magically knows how to play quarterback and stops getting his receivers spiked into the ground like they were fucking lawn darts. I bet they’d really appreciate that.

katy perry got 17 stitches

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 3:32 PM

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And every hack afternoon DJ in America just came in thier pants in a race to shout out, “I hope they were to close her mouth!” Ahh yes. Zing.

Partying after performing at Sunday’s MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto, Katy Perry injured herself dancing and landed in the hospital for 17 stitches.
“(She) cut her leg open after falling over during an energetic dance session at a Toronto nightclub.” Details are scarce, but Perry did tweet briefly about the injury, and has since taken to performing with a skin-colored bandage on her right leg.

The pictures below show the bandage they mean, and this was her first tweet, and this was the second one. That one was funny because Lindsay tried to @ her and Perry ignored it. Lindsay does that a lot. Tweets other famous people who pretend not to see it. It’s a little awkward. Much like how I stalk Diora Baird on there even though she continues to ignore me. I assume it’s some kind of reverse psychology, because she mentions other people who aren’t nearly as charming as me. And I know for a fact that she reads them because I can see the screen on her notebook from this tree.

lady gaga fell down. because she dresses like an idiot.

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 12:50 PM

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Lady Gaga wore another one of her asinine outfits today on her way to catch a flight from London to New York, and this time her shoes fought back in anger for making them look so dumb. She strutted around at first on her 12-inch boots but then, as was inevitable, she collapsed in a heap like a fat kid falling out of a tree. The bad news is that she didn’t do it at the top of some stairs.

(source = inf daily)

lindsay lohan was set up! once again!

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 11:40 AM

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Last night the Bravo show ‘Double Exposure’ was centered around a photo shoot with Lindsay Lohan. SPOILER ALERT: it was a complete clusterfuck and Lindsay acted like a spoiled brat.

The episode is called ‘Is Lindsay Here Yet?’ and features Lindsay showing up hours late to a photo shoot that happened last fall.
Bravo sources tell TMZ that Lindsay was 11 hours late for the 10 am shoot and her excuse was that she overslept.

But, and stop me if you’re heard this one before, but actually it was all a big conspiracy, and everyone is setting up Lindsay to make her look bad.

Lindsay Lohan has unleashed a string of angry tweets about how she was portrayed on the Bravo reality show
“this couldn’t be more UNTRUE- Sucks when “friends” use you (in this case for ratings) even if they’re lying.”
“As for BRAVO and their false representation of me on their new show; I was given the wrong call time-now I know on purpose…it was a set-up.” “Unfortunate that I considered jorge on the show a friend to trust…I don’t appreciate being used for press, and I’m sure others would agree! Love to everyone”

Even for Lindsay this is fucking madness. So either there’s a global conspiracy to set up the star of ‘Herbie Reloaded’ (like that time someone stole her passport. And when some tricked her into taking a picture with cocaine in the room. And when some put cocaine in her jeans pocket) or she’s lying. It’s actually pretty amazing that Lindsay doesn’t get punched in the face twice a day.

perrey reeves had sort of an upskirt

By brendon June 23, 2010 @ 10:08 AM

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‘Entourage’ is every closeted homosexuals favorite show, and it’s only redeeming quality is that it has the occasional hot girl. Luckily the internet has a nonstop supply of girls who are much hotter and have way less self esteem, so there’s no need to sit through, “VInce can’t do the movie hey good news Vince can do the movie” for 30 minutes a week just to see some tits.

And here’s another perfect example of why the internet is better. Perrey Reeves was on set yesterday, and you could kind of see up her skirt. But you won’t see that on the show. Because why would you. It’s a show for men, cool guys who hug and go shopping. “Hey I heard about a new store that has even tighter shirts we could wear, and they have a DJ. Let’s go shopping over there.” It’s just like real life.

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon June 22, 2010 @ 6:39 PM

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LADY GAGA – is a jerk according to Jerry Seinfeld.  He was asked about her drunken antics at a Mets game last week in a private luxury box that he owns and did not give her permission to use. “The woman is a jerk. I hate her. I don’t know why she’s doing this stuff. I don’t know what these young people think or how they promote their careers.” After that he yelled at the interviewer to speak up and then complained about medicine bottles being too hard to open. (popeater)

INCEPTION – has a new 2 minute trailer revealing much more about the individual characters in the only interesting looking movie all summer. What it won’t prepare you for is all the reviews with shitty ‘Dark Night’ headlines that you’ll have to endure. (youtube)

JESSICA HART – is a SI swimsuit model from Australia, and yesterday she was on the beach in the Hamptons in a bikini. I don’t have much time here, so just trust me when I say this will go much better if you put the palm of your hand over the top half of your monitor starting right now. (pacific coast)

TWITTER ………. FACEBOOK ………. AWWW