i guess she showed us

By brendon March 09, 2009 @ 5:20 AM

Much has been made about how much weight Jessica Simpson has gained lately, but it seems that was all a big misunderstanding because last night in Florida she wore a pair of shorts that were vaguely similar to shorts she wore when she made that Dukes of Hazzard movie.  So I guess she’s the same size as she was then, and hasn’t gained a pound.  Wow, I’m surprised, but here it is, proof.   You have to admit, this would be impossible to fake.  

(image source = splash news)

nicollette missed a spot

By brendon March 07, 2009 @ 1:26 PM

"Desperate Housewives" star Nicolette Sheridan hit up Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills last night, and apparently was too rushed getting out the door to pack everything where it belongs.  She’s apparently … um … hm.  Let’s just say if you were going down on her, you’d have to part the curtains like they do at the movies in order to see the main event.  And you’d have to have one of those miners’ helmets with the flashlight on it to find what you were looking for, like a spotlight, if you will.

(image source = mavrix online)

too soon?

By brendon March 07, 2009 @ 8:38 AM

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During the roast for Larry the Cable Guy that airs Sunday on Comedy Central, Lisa Lampanelli compared one of Larrys jokes to Chris Brown. Some might say it’s too soon to make fun of Rihanna for getting her ass beat. And I agree. She was the victim of horrible abuse, but the important thing is that she learned her lesson, and will never put herself in that position oh wait never mind. Yeah, fuck her.

jordan is an angel from heaven

By brendon March 07, 2009 @ 7:08 AM

Brit reality TV star Katie Price packed up her 32G breasts to hit up the Ivy in Beverly Hills yesterday with her husband, singer Peter Andre, and her “specially-abled” kid Harvey.  And either this photographer is 19 feet tall or half the time he just blatantly lifted his camera above his head so he can take pictures down her shirt.  What a fun girl she is.  I especially admire the way she dresses like a slut right in front of her kid.  Katie and I agree, 7 is a good age to be introduced to whoring.  These kids have to grow up sometime.

(image source = splash news)

could you cover that please, ma’am

By brendon March 06, 2009 @ 1:25 PM

Pamela Anderson walked down the runway at Paris Fashion Week with a ghost from the Titanic earlier today, when, um, this happened.  Honestly … what in the hell is going on here?  Her nipple looks like a comet, racing across her breast.

madonna is really cool and hip

By brendon March 06, 2009 @ 11:58 AM

Madonna reportedly reached an agreement during the Oscar parties to design a line of T-shirts and bodices for Ed Hardy, and all I can say is, Wow.  They are gonna make sooo much money.  If there’s one thing I know about fashion, it’s that nothing ever changes.  That Ed Hardy look will be popular for years to come.  I can’t wait to get the new styles.  I just got this cool barbed wire tattoo around my bicep and I wanna show it off.  It's pretty bitchin.  Up next: VICTORY in Chinese on the inside of my forearm. 

(image source = wenn)

clothes r srs bizns

By brendon March 06, 2009 @ 11:03 AM

Posh was working one of her hot little outfits to catch a flight from LA to Milan yesterday (she wore a similar but different coat the day before) and this brings back good memories because boys have these insane fantasies when they’re like 12 or 13, about stuff like the hot 15-year-old with breasts wants to have a sex-only relationship or a bunch of Playmates kidnap you, also to use you for sex.  Here, Posh is what it would look like if the fantasy was to be real rich, and one night the chauffeur drives you somewhere, and then the car stops  and you’re not where you thought you were, instead you’re at a hotel, and Posh opens your door and is standing there dressed like this, and only then do you realize she’s not your usual chauffeur, and she opens up her coat and has nothing but panties on underneath, not even a bra, you can see her boobies and everything, and then you go inside and do it.  Oh I know, right?

(image source = splash news)

miss universe is here to help

By brendon March 06, 2009 @ 9:49 AM

I’m sure some horrific new Chris Brown details will come out soon enough, but until then, look, tits.  Because Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela, is at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas this week.  I don’t know who is in charge of Venezuela, but they should replace their flag with that banner picture.  I started to look up who was in charge of Venezuela but it turns out that no one knows.  Mostly because I spelled it "Veniziela".  I was going to look it up with the correct spelling but I'm pretty quick to give up, and surrender at the slightest bit of adversity.