Kristen Bell is already beloved by internet nerds, so you better believe they’re gonna cum in their pants when they see her in dorky glasses AND a bikini. Hot combination’s like that only happen in their fan fiction, like Batman with a light saber. And better gets betterer because of this, where yet again we see a flaw in bikini design. I don’t know much about fashion, but I think a good idea for a bikini would be a waterproof one.
(image source = splash news online and fame. and for the record this is Kristen yesterday in Hawaii with bf Dax Shepard. so if you have a notebook where you track Kristens whereabouts, that’s what you’ll write.)
The Leighton Meester sex-tape website is up now with screencaps (full size NSFW here), and it seems legit though I’m not sure who “Leigton” Meester is. The sample pics are nice but I could have done without the creepy pervert description of her hot young body. Why do they have to make it so seedy. Can I please have my dignity, can I please just masturbate with the corner of my tshirt in my teeth and the sound on low so I can hear keys in the front door, like the well respected member of society that I am? Is that too much to ask?
Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl was born in prison while her mom was doing time for drug trafficking (more here), so she’s almost definitely a little bit screwed up, and yet the news of her sex tape hitting the market is still a surprise. A very very very very very welcome surprise. TMZ says…
“We’ve learned a Meester tape is being shopped around town. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes — with several big exceptions … one involving her very talented feet.”
Oh no. Oh crap. “Her very talented feet”? I hope this isn’t the tape she and I made, the one where she dialed 911 with her toes and then kicks me and then runs away. That bitch is tough as nails.
Bruno made an appearance at the at Las Ventas bull ring in Madrid, Spain earlier today to promote his movie, and so obviously he wore a skin tight bull outfit. Of course. Why wouldn’t he? I’m all man, but that shit is hot. He’s half man, half beast. In a related story, I made an Asian girl half-white last night when I banged her.
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE – donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)
JON GOSSELIN – was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)
ELLE MACPHERSON – as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here. hq jump = here. source = wenn, fame and getty)
Nerds love G4 Attack of the Show host Olivia Munn even more than they love debating who would win in a fight, Joss Whedon or JJ Abrahms. They even love her more than they love Yoda, and make no mistake about it, nerds really really really love Yoda. So Playboy is playing with fire this month with Munn as the cover girl. Not only is she not naked inside, but either she only owns one bikini or Playboy just took a pic from her Complex magazine shoot from last February. And they didn’t even take an especially good one.
Playboy did this same kind of thing when they took a Jessica Alba pic from the movie, “The One Where She’s In A Bikini” and used it for their March 2006 cover, and I did this same kind of thing when I scanned this Denise Milani picture and tried to make a lady.
Britney is being criticized today because last night in Manchester, England, she gave the city a shout out. More specifically she gave London a shout out when she said, “What’s up London?” But what are the odds Britney even knows the difference. She probably thinks England and London and the UK are all the same thing. And when someone pointed out her mistake, she just snorted and laughed and admitted she’s not very good at geology.