Michael Jackson gave Aaron Carter coke at 15

By brendon June 29, 2011 @ 4:02 PM


Michael Jackson was always deeply concerned about children of course, and by that I mean he was concerned they might tell after he raped them. Like this little snitch Aaron Carter is now doing. What a little tattle-tale.

Aaron tells OK! how MJ gave him drugs and alcohol when he was just 15.
‘I never talked about it… This is the first time. I do… I miss Michael… I have spent such incredible times with him. I did things with him that nobody else did… But I was also troubled about what he did to me,’ Aaron says.
When asked whether Michael gave him alcohol, Aaron tells Daphne, ‘Yes, he gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15.’ As for drugs? ‘He gave me cocaine. I felt weird about that and other stuff… We spoke afterwards, hours and hours, on the phone. I admired Michael, but his behaviour bothered me a lot. Then my mother called the police…’

I think it goes without saying that it’s wrong to loosen teenagers up with wine and cocaine so you can have sex with them. Wine and weed works a lot better. The coke makes them all paranoid and jittery.

(as you may remember, Michael commissioned these totally-not-suspicious paintings. full size of that last one here)

Lindsay Lohan will be released today

By brendon June 29, 2011 @ 1:36 PM


On April 22nd, Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 120 days in jail for violating her probation after stealing a necklace from a jewelry store (yet not given any additional punishment whatsoever for the actual crime of stealing the necklace). But of course she never went to jail. Instead she went on the Tonight Show, and then she went to a bar and got drunk (just like she did while in rehab), and then she went to the beach in Miami.

Then, on May 25th, she began her 120 day sentence under house arrest instead of in jail, during which she did interviews, threw parties and filmed commercials.

Clearly she’s been punished enough for committing several hundred crimes, so today she’ll be released, 84 days early.

Lohan is completing her last day of house arrest at her rented townhome in Venice Beach, California, Radar is exclusively reporting.
LiLo’s bracelet will be taken off the starlet at her home sometime Wednesday.
“Lindsay will have the ankle bracelet taken off sometime today. Lindsay is relieved to put this behind her,” the source says.

Keep in mind that she’s being released early for two reasons: prison overcrowding and good behavior.

1. She’s not in prison, she’s alone at home in a 3,000 square foot, 2.25 million dollar condo in Venice Beach.

2. She drank when she was told not to (the sheriffs department, the judge and probation officer all screwed up and thought she was subject to drug and alcohol tests even though those actually stopped on February 25th. Not that it would matter because she failed a test on February 8th and no one did any thing) and just 5 days after her house arrest began her probation officer couldn’t find her for over 14 hours. When he finally did, her ankle monitor was covered in a “sticky substance”. As if it had been tampered with.

So yes, now she’ll be released. She’s clearly on the right track. What a success story this has been.

INSPIRING UPDATE – and she’s out.

Nicole Eggerts still got it

By brendon June 29, 2011 @ 12:32 PM


Nicole Eggert was the quintessential summer blond when she starred on ‘Baywatch’, the personification of the girls people imagined when they thought of the beaches in Southern California. Now she’s closer to what people imagine when they picture the beaches in Japan, stomping up to destroy Tokyo and going “RARR, RARR!!”

Granted she’s pregnant in these pictures, in fact they were taken at her baby shower, so for her sake that baby better weigh 180 pounds or be a bear.

(image source = pacific coast)

Charlie Sheen did steroids for Major League

By brendon June 29, 2011 @ 9:16 AM


During a simple enough “where are they now” article for Sports Illustrated about the 1989 baseball comedy ‘Major League’, Charlie Sheen admitted to doing steroids to play a pitcher with a devastating fastball. Because that’s what fastball pitchers look like. They’re mountains of pure muscle.

“Let’s just say that I was enhancing my performance a little bit. It was the only time I ever did steroids. I did them for like six or eight weeks. You can print this, I don’t give a f-. My fastball went from 79 to like 85.”

Is dipshit even thinking of the right movie? Because in ‘Major League’ he had the upper body of a 7th grader, but he was like 30 pounds heavier when he filmed ‘Hot Shots 2′ four years later. I get the feeling he’s screwing this story up. I get the feeling timelines aren’t exactly his specialty. “We filmed it in 1988. A six-pack cost about a dollar, Clinton had just begun his second term, while down in South America the Kaiser had just rolled his tanks into Poland.”

Tuesday headlines, with MILFs and Tracy Morgan

By brendon June 28, 2011 @ 5:51 PM


TRACY MORGAN – is in trouble again for making fun of people during his stand-up, this time about the mentally handicapped. Um, I think that’s just the way he normally talks. This is a big misunderstanding. (e!)

PARTY DOWN – was a fantastic show that was cancelled way too early, but now there’s a real chance a movie might be made. Or at least there will be if they want me to tell them what the antidote to the poison is. (/film)

BRANDI GLANVILLE AND CAMILLE GRAMMER – and the cast of ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ spent another day in bikinis in Hawaii. It was like a MILF porn, except worse in every way. (bauer griffin)

Chrissy Teigen is photogenic

By brendon June 28, 2011 @ 4:30 PM


If you’re wondering why Chrissy Teigen is a Sports Illustrated supermodel and you’re not, it’s because she can walk around on a Tuesday afternoon in New York in late June and make it look like she’s filming a fucking shampoo commercial. But that doesn’t mean she’s stuck-up. She’s actually really cool. If you see her on the street you should go give her a big hug. She’ll act like she doesn’t want you to at first but that’s because she likes to be chased.

(image source = pacific coast)

Emma Stone is in Vanity Fair

By brendon June 28, 2011 @ 3:12 PM


Emma Stone is on the cover of the new Vanity Fair, and it seems hard to believe in hindsight, but she says her lowest point in Hollywood was losing a role to Hayden Panettiere.

Emma Stone tells Vanity Fairwriter Alexandra Wolfe … that she still remembers what she considers her hardest Hollywood moment, an audition for NBC’s Heroes. “I could hear that, in the other room, a girl had just gone in and they were saying, ‘You are our pick … On a scale of 1 to 10 you’re an 11,’” Stone recalls, before Hayden Panettiere—who ended up with the role of Claire Bennet—walked out of the room. “I went home and just had this meltdown,” Stone says, calling the experience “rock bottom.”

I sure am glad that Vanity Fair made a huge point of telling me their reporters name over and over and over again. It would have ruined the whole story had I not known.

Kim Kardashian 2 is disappointing

By brendon June 28, 2011 @ 1:44 PM


People have been saying lately that Reggie Bush’s new girlfriend Melissa Molinaro is a mirror image of his ex, Kim Kardashian, but here she is at the dog park and people must be using that now as a polite way to say someone has a big ass. She sorta does sometimes, but not really. I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what Kim Kardashian looks like.