i heart lily allen, part 19

I simply don’t understand why everyone doesn’t love Lily Allen as much as I do. Unless you’re a narcissistic sociopath like Perez who declares anyone who doesn’t kiss his ass as a blood enemy. That’s why he doesn’t like her, and it's why he makes up blatant lies about... read more

15 months in jail

In April of 2008, a Dutch male model named Audun Carlsen filed charges against 80's pop icon Boy George. Carlsen claimed George handcuffed him to a wall and beat him with a chain after a fight following a naked photo shoot. That, as it turns out, is illegal. You can’t... read more

marmaduke and huckleberry grylls

Bear Grylls stages part of his show "Man vs Wild" of course, but he's graduated from Eton and the University of London, earned a second dan black belt in Shotokan karate, served three years in the UK Special Forces and only left when he did because his parachute ripped... read more

lindsay is the new face of fornarina

Italy must not get the Internet, because someone over there hired Lindsay Lohan to be the new face of their clothing line. I have no idea who the hell they are, but it looks like they design clothes for bbq cashiers, which reallyraises more questions than it answers. But... read more

flight 1549 pics

I realize this has nothing to do with Lindsays tits or Paris Hilton blowing dudes, and I swear we’ll get back to that in just a minute, but yesterday some geese decided that, instead of flying up and towards Charlotte, US Airways flight 1549 should fly down and toward... read more

get out of there plane

Stop it plane. You are a plane. You are not a boat. Get back in the sky! You can not swim!(UUHQ copy of this pic, one of the very first taken of Flight 1549 after it crashed in the Hudson River in NYC yesterday, here. picture source = Splash. and yes of course i realize... read more

american idol is a really good show

I don’t really do impressions, I’m not a professionally trained impressionist, but here’s my impression of hundreds of dudes last night when Casey Carlson (homepage here) walked out to audition for American Idol.GUY: (looks at Casey)GUY: (looks at girlfriend)GUY: (looks... read more

jenifaa yopez is violent

Star magazine says today that the strained relationship between Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony has turned violent in the past few weeks. Oh I know right? after months of fighting the couple's fiery marital brawls have escalated to a whole new level. Sources close to the... read more

fat bitch

The Daily Mail is bitching today because they say Lindsay Lohan has lost too much weight, much like she did a few years ago when she was strung out on coke. And do you know how I know she was strung out on coke? Because I just published it on a popular website, and her... read more

ow wow, look, its, um, that person

My taste in music apparently isn’t shitty enough to know who or what Lady GaGa might be, but there she was, caught by the paps as she went back to her hotel room in London last night. She’s a big deal these days, so I decided I should listen to one of her songs, so I went... read more

go f yourself dignity

Verne Troyer is one of the contestants on the UK show "Celebrity Big Brother", and the Daily Mail says that last night as part of a challenge they made him dress up like a teddy bear and eat a pot of honey. Why a stuffed animal would eat anything, much less honey, is... read more

ricardo mantalban died

Actor Ricardo Mantalban, perhaps most famous for his role as Mr. Rourke on "Fantasy Island", died in his Beverly Hills home yesterday at the age of 88. People magazine says...His son-in-law Gilbert Smith says Montalban had been in declining health for months and died... read more