lindsay has big plans for the future

By brendon May 01, 2009 @ 10:02 AM


Lindsay is finally back from Hawaii, just in time for a big media event for her line of self-tanning products last night in Santa Monica.  She told E! News that she is really happy right now and things are going great.  And they are too!  Wait.  No they’re not.  What the hell is she talking about?

(She) admitted that April had been, “a hard month,” and while she said she is doing her best to move on personally and professionally, she told E! News she and Ronson remain “in touch.”
As for her day job, Lohan is in final negotiations for a film that is scheduled to start shooting in October. She would not divulge any details about the potential project, however, as it has yet to be a done deal.
She also said she’s close to returning to the recording studio, and named Pharrell as a producer she would like to work with—that is, if he wasn’t, for some unknown reason, feuding with her.

So to recap, that ugly dyke won’t take her back, she hopes to get an acting job six months from now, and she’s heard of the producer Farrell.  How exactly is any of that great?  She might as well say she has plans to be a Supreme Court Justice, or a mighty oak.

(image source = splash and pco)

run shia, run far away

By brendon May 01, 2009 @ 8:14 AM


The second and presumably last trailer for “Transformers 2″ is now online over on Yahoo, and it begins as Shia LaBeouf moves out of town and leaves behind sex with Megan Fox and his shapeshifting robot car so he can attend class. You may find this unbelievable, but the plot actually gets even dumber after that. Oh I know. But it’s true.

i might cry too

By brendon May 01, 2009 @ 7:01 AM


Mariah Carey and her massive tits celebrated their one year anniversary with Nick Carter Cannon last night at Moon in NYC, and Nick better lock that down because the King of Bitches is on the scene, and him and his crocodile coat are making a move.  Rackin up ho’s is his game of choice, and all you motherfuckin playa hata’s betta step the fuck back.

(image source = splash)

that studio must smell terrific

By brendon May 01, 2009 @ 6:07 AM

I hope no one thinks the Opie and Anthony Show with Jimmy Norton just went away when their home station in New York changed formats last month (and then watched the ratings drop to a 1.4 share in March.  This time last year they had a 2.0 share.  Well done WXKR, well done.  But still the move to uninterrupted music should pay off, because uninterrupted music is very hard to come by.  Unless you have an iPod.  Or a dial on your radio.)  But O & A are still on XM and Sirius, and yesterday they had on the easily relaxed Iron Shiek, who pissed his pants without knowing it during the show, thankfully on a non-fabric couch.  It was funny as a listener, but maybe not as an opponent.  I don’t think it’s too much to ask that the guy your wrestling not pee on you.

bruno – 1, paula abdul – 0

By brendon April 30, 2009 @ 12:19 PM


Paula Abduls idiocy stopped being entertaining at least two years ago, now it’s just annoying, but it may swing back to entertaining once it’s placed in the hands of a professional.  In this case Sacha Baron Cohen, who interviewed her as Bruno for his new movie, opening July 10th.  Oh and brace yourself because you’ll be shocked to hear she that she never figured out the joke.  The NY Post says…

“Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn’t aware she was fooled,” the insider said. Abdul’s rep had no immediate comment.

This is awesome of course, but it wasn’t exactly a fair fight.  It’s hard to even comprehend Cohens genius, whereas Paula has been buried on two separate occasions after someone asked her a math question.

hmmm. well, look at that

By brendon April 30, 2009 @ 10:47 AM


These pictures of Ali Lohan must have been processed with magic because for the first time ever she looks sort of F-able.  I know she’s 15 and you’re not supposed to have sex with 15-year-olds(*), but it was her moms idea to whore her up like she was 35, not mine.  I’d have been just fine never thinking about her again.  If I can block out my girlfriends miscarriage I can sure as hell ignore a Lohan minus the D’s.

(*) in this country

Image source = splash and wenn

kelly mcgillis is gay now

By brendon April 30, 2009 @ 9:24 AM


Kelly McGillis, who you may remember from “Top Gun” but probably don’t, has come out as a lesbian, shocking everyone, at least until they look at a recent picture of her.

“I’m done with the man thing. I did that, I need to move on in life. That’s another part of being true to yourself…that’s been a challenge for me personally.”
“I think [accepting being homosexual] that was an ongoing process from the time I was about 12. I had a lot of things happened that convinced me that God was punishing me for being gay. That was a hard process.”

It’s getting really tedious to hear people talk about how hard it is to be gay. I support just about every prejudice you can think of and even I bailed on that one. Everyone I know makes gay and racist jokes, no one I know would ever actually discriminate. I’m sure it sucks when you’re 12 and some handsome popular kid is pinning you down and putting dead birds in your mouth, but in my defense I was dared to. It was out of my hands.

(if you were wondering what it may look like if kelly got it on with another girl, and they were naked, and they filmed it, the answer would be, “like this”)

everyone hates madonna

By brendon April 30, 2009 @ 7:03 AM

The US had a good run but it seems that Madonna has decided to bail on London and return to the Colonies, and she’s making plans to spend the summer in the Hamptons. As always her magnetic personality leaves a trial of smiles wherever she goes, in this case a vineyard on the island where she wanted to keep her horses.

Madonna then presented the estate with a 10-page list of demands, according to our source. Among the stipulations were that “no one could be in the riding ring at the same time she was. It was laughable. They turned her down flat.”

Her rep denies this but considering Madonna gave Guy Ritchie a list of demands telling him what to do when their kids stay with him (here) and once forced 25 students and their teacher to leave a yoga class at Reebok in NYC so she could have the room to herself (here), nothing about this sounds out of character.It’s no wonder the Hamptons don’t want her.  I’d rather live next door to a gay rapist with a key to my house than Madonna, or even just a cage filled with deadly bees.