afternoon headlines

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 5:35 PM

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IAN SOMERHALDER - is politely wondering why Hollywood isn’t doing anything to help the Gulf Coast in the wake of the oil spill, considering they raised 58 million for Haiti which is a complete shithole anyway. It’s like putting a new refrigerator in a house that’s on fire. Fuck those other countries. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!! (popeater)

HARRISON FORD – took a break from filming ‘Cowboys and Aliens’ in New Mexico on Tuesday and married Calista Flockhart, his girlfriend for the past 8 years. It makes sense that his wedding would be tied to a movie like that since he’s so god damn in love with shoving aliens into places where they clearly don’t fucking belong. (abc news)

JONAH HILL – has revealed how he got the huge scar on his arm. He was “not a good kid” when he was 15 and one night he and a friend took an SUV and flipped it. Hills arm was hanging out the window at the time and it was dragged along the ground. He says he woke up to hear the doctors discussing if they should amputate it. Ohh brother, I know what that’s like. One time I stepped on a tack. (huff post)

MEGAN FOX - is of course the new Armani girl, and a second wave of lingerie pictures for her ad campaign are coming out. Like this one. Actually that’s the only one. This story went to hell pretty quick, didn’t it.

TWITTER ……. FACEBOOK ……. BEARS FIGHT DIRTY

the jeremy london story is the weirdest thing ever

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 3:52 PM

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At first this story seems like the idiotic rambling of a former drug addict after a relapse, but Radar says ‘Party of Five’ star Jeremy London is claiming he was kidnapped, held at gunpoint and forced to get high last week in Palm Springs. “And did the police buy that, did that work”, asked Lindsay Lohan when she heard the news.

Read more >

i wish sandler was my friend

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 2:10 PM

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A few weeks ago David Spade was in Vegas, three rows back at UFC 114, Rampage vs. Evans, one of the biggest fights in a long time. Four days after that he was right behind the Lakers bench for game 2 of the NBA Finals in LA, so close in fact that Laker coach Phil Jackson yelled at him and Chris Rock for talking. And last night he went to Koi in West Hollywood with international supermodel and ‘Top Chef’ host Padma Lakshmi. Point being, David Spade and his wonderful/completely undeserved life can go fuck themselves.

(source = pacific coast news)

“I’m always traveling for cock.”

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 11:10 AM

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I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that Megan Fox doesnt have to scour the countryside to find someone, anyone, to have sex with her. Not only does Cameron Diaz have to do that, but she seems to think it’s some badge of honor. The Sun says…

“Oh gosh, I can’t even count how many times I’ve gotten on a plane for love.
“It’s not unusual in this business – my lifestyle demands it.
“I’m always traveling for cock. You’ve got to go where it is.”
And Cameron didn’t leave it there.
“I’m primal on an animalistic level, kind of like, ‘Bonk me over the head, throw me over your shoulder. You man, me woman.’
“Not everybody has the right kind of primal thing for me… I love physical contact.
“I have to be touching my lover, like, always. It’s not optional.”

I don’t feel so good all of a sudden. This would be a terrific story if Jessica Alba were the one telling it, but Cameron Diaz looks like she just punched her way out of a grave. I’d rather fuck Jessica Albas shoe than Cameron Diaz.

demi lovato in a bikini, pt. 2

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 9:31 AM

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Demi Lovato is much cuter than she looks in these bikini pictures from Mexico, but girls are like that. Guys pretty much look the same 100 percent of the time. Girls have these wild swings. Is it because they’re black-hearted shape-shifting demons sent here to ruin the world? My extensive study of suburban white girls leads me to believe that, yes, yes that’s exactly what they are.

ohai katy perry upskirt picture

By brendon June 16, 2010 @ 5:20 PM

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Katy Perry gave a quick outdoor concert in New York yesterday as part of a promotion for Volkswagen, and because she was wearing a super short skirt susceptible to pictures like this, she had the good sense to wear underwear. And by that I mean screw you Katy Perry, although you probably can’t hear me up there in your ivory tower. Why do you have to ruin everything. Pardon me for wanting to see your vagina, your majesty. I’m soooo sorry.

(pictures = splash news online)

demi lovato looks good in a bikini

By brendon June 16, 2010 @ 4:57 PM

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Demi Lovato is down in Mexico today, and yes she’s 17 and yes these pictures show part of her ass. At first it might seem similar to the Miley stuff but there’s a huge difference between a girls vagina and her ass. And if you didn’t already understand that, I feel really sorry for your girlfriends ass after sex. I bet she was pretty surprised when it dawned on her you didn’t know there was a difference.

(source = splash news online)

“…that’s some idiot being an idiot.”

By brendon June 16, 2010 @ 4:32 PM

As you’ve no doubt heard, disfigured pedophile Perez Hilton posted an uncensored up-skirt picture of Miley Cyrus on Sunday, and although he quickly took it down and never reposted it, he claims it was perfectly okay for him to post it the first time. He also claims that he and Miley heart each other and this was all in fun LOL!

So Miley must have laughed it off on Ryan Seacrests radio show, right?

Miley said of the (picture), “that’s some idiot being an idiot.”
Perez has come under fire in recent days for posting an image of what was rumored to be Miley not wearing any underwear. If that were so, Perez could’ve faced legal action from the 17-year-old star’s camp as the photo could be considered child pornography.
“Isn’t it funny things like that, that are so negative, have to come out right before my record?” asked Miley. “It’s like, no one can just let a positive thing happen.”

Well that last part didn’t make any sense but whatever. The important part is to highlight that no one actually likes Perez, yet for some reason the media has been tricked into thinking he’s influential. It’s also a prime chance to point out that he looks like something that would live in an old gnarled tree and bake children into pies.