why would Khloe Kardashian need makeup?

By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 3:48 PM

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Khloe Kardashian clearly has a different father than Kim and Kourtney, and it’s pretty rude the way Kris Jenner refuses to even acknowledge that we all know. We can all tell. Two of the sisters are short with olive skin, while the third one is a hermaphrodite. That’s a hard thing to miss.

(image source of khloe leaving a gym in LA yesterday with no makeup = flynet)

is Bradley Cooper dating Zoe Saldana or not

By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 1:49 PM

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Zoe Saldana broke up with her fiancé last month after dating for 11 years, and yesterday Star said it was because she and Bradley Cooper were doing it now. They noted that the two filmed a movie together over the summer, and that Bradley Cooper is very handsome. I too am very handsome, so the story seemed plausible.

But now Saldanas agent says the rumor isn’t true, that they’re nothing more than “friends who worked on a recent film.” But if you read between the lines it sounds like they were having sex all the time, and then one day Zoe came to him crying because she was pregnant and Bradley made her get an abortion because, as he put it, “I aint havin’ me no colored baby.”

This Bradley Cooper fella sounds like a real piece of shit! Zoe Saldana is better off without him, I say!

(image source = bauer griffin)

Adam Carolla destroys Occupy (not literally)

By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 1:19 PM

Adam Carolla got where he is today because his dad owned dozens of radio stations across the country and gave him his job hosting ‘Loveline’. Oh, wait, no he didn’t, his life was shit and he worked to get everything he’s ever had. So try and guess how he feels about the Occupy Wall Street movement. Hint: they don’t even use the word “douche” this many times in commercials for actual douches.

(note: this clip contains some colorful language)

Amber Heard is still Hollywoods hottest lesbian

By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 12:32 PM

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No one should ever be defined or thought of simply in terms of their sexuality of course, but if you’re a hot girl who has sex with other hot girls, all bets are off because I’m totally going to do that. Like with Amber Heard. That’s all I think about every single time I see her. You might as well put me in a room with a dragon and ask me to ignore that.

(image source of amber at the 8th annual bahamas international film festival = splash and fame)

Lady Gaga is in that book about butts

By brendon December 02, 2011 @ 10:55 AM

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Nicole Scherzinger was in the news last week because there’s a picture of her naked ass in the book ‘Culo’, which makes sense because that’s a book about pictures of naked asses. But now other pictures have shown up online, including Lady Gaga, Alessandra Ambrosio, Kate Upton, Sarah McLachlan, Fergie, and Leeann Tweeden (all the pictures under the cut). That’s Irina Shayk in the banner picture, and for some reason someone shot ink onto her ass. It’s like porn for squids.

Read more >

so, there is this…

By brendon December 01, 2011 @ 8:17 PM

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Jessica Simpson was out in New York today with her sister Ashlee and Ashlees son Bronx, and here we see the only good thing about girls getting pregnant. Their tits quadruple is size. They should put a leash or something on Bronx, because if Jessica falls on her back that kid is gonna bounce to the moon.

(image source = splash, pacific coast, fame, flynet)

Demi Moore is probably not dating that new jackass

By brendon December 01, 2011 @ 6:05 PM

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Earlier today there was a story claiming Demi Moore was dating some new guy I’ve never heard of, but now Us says that’s not true, and they do it with the most forced introduction possible.

Demi Moore has a lovely complexion, but no, she is not dating skin care mogul Scott-Vincent Borba. 
(Sources confirm) that Borba is just another one of Moore’s platonic pals.

In defense of that first story, I don’t think it was based on the fact that she has a lovely complexion. She has nice shoes too, that wouldn’t lead me to assume she was banging a cobbler.

(image source of demi being a fattie at the premiere of ‘margin call’ = wenn)

Scarlett Johansson hates Blake Lively

By brendon December 01, 2011 @ 5:22 PM

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Scarlett Johansson is reportedly mad at Blake Lively, and yes, the fact that women are all nuts is at the root of it.

A source tells Us Weekly that Scarlett is fuming that her ex-husband, Ryan Reynolds, has moved on with Blake Lively — even though Johansson ended their two-year marriage one year ago.
“Scarlett is pissed that he’s not under her spell anymore. She realized what a great catch Ryan was.”
“Ryan would have gotten back with her. He was so totally in love, but then she flaunted Sean right after their split, and he was done.”

This may or may not be true (Us will print literally anything these days) but who cares because Scarlett is also in the new issue of Interview, which is a magazine that apparently still exists and who decided a sort-of topless picture of Scarlett would be ever sexier if they made her look like an androgynous robot and then had her stand next to a plant in their lobby.