Jessica Alba presented an award with Ashton Kutcher (not pictured) at last nights Peoples Choice Awards, which makes perfect sense when you think about it because everyone loves Ashton Kutcher. Ashton “the Peoples Choice” Kutcher, they should call him. That guy has the midas touch. I can’t think of the last project of his that didn’t race to the top of the charts.
Luckily Alba looked good enough to distract from the dipshit next to her. She’s looked better, but the toddler-size skirt and the boots that look like she’s in KISS now are at least a step in the right slutty direction.
Just about two weeks ago, Brooke Mueller was on the phone with the cops, crying and begging for her life after her husband Charlie Sheen put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. But time heals all wounds, even puncture wounds, and now she’s ready to reunite. People says…
Another possible delay in a hearing between Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen’s lawyers is proving to be quite frustrating.
“Brooke and Charlie are not allowed to have any contact with each other at this point,” Mueller’s lawyer Yale Galanter, tells PEOPLE. “Brooke wants to get back with Charlie so we are anxious to meet in court.
As of now, the new court date is 9 a.m. Jan. 20, but we are hoping that will change and be this coming Monday.”
It’s surprising Brooke would take Charlie back, but two weeks is a long time. That was December, 2009. Back then, movies cost a nickel, and America had come together to fight the Kaiser. We’ve all changed in the past two weeks, Charlie is probably no exception. Wait, there’s like 400 days in a week right? Oh. 7? Oh okay. Well then never mind this bitch is an idiot.
Tiger Woods regularly paid to watch girl-girl sex, had three-way sex with professional escorts and even consensual sex with other men, according to a little tattle-tale named Loredana Jolie. The one time Playboy model now big-nosed prostitute offers no proof of her claims, but will sell the story to the highest bidder. Stuff like this is why I almost never have three ways with prostitutes any more. Radar says…
One of Tiger’s many mistresses, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo, is penning a tell-all and claims that she witnessed him in gay encounters.
Loredana has claimed she saw Tiger having sexual relationships with other men. That shocking twist is something no other mistress has claimed and there has been no proof.
Loredana says she is planning to spill all about how she and Tiger “came about, his healthy appetite for arranged sex, threesomes, girls next door, girl-girl, and an answer to all the rumors surrounding Woods’ sexuality.”
Tigers penis is a real daredevil. It probably jumps through hoops of fire too. Not mine though. The penis and male ass are two of the most visually disgusting things nature has ever produced, so if mine ever ended up inside of one, the dude might as well bite it off and keep it because I’m done with it.
It would have been a lot more interesting if the Mexican Super Mario (as seen above) was Rihannas new lover, and they were gettin it on during their vacation in Cabo, but I don’t think he’s the one. I think it’s that bo’d up black dude. He sort of looks like Chris Brown to be honest. And I don’t mean that in a, “all black guys look alike” kind of way, I just mean … um. No actually that is how I meant it. Seriously why do so many black guys look alike?
SYLVESTER STALLONE - had emergency surgery after he broke his neck while filming a fight scene with Stone Cold Steve Austin for the movie, ‘The Expendables’. He’s fine now though. Stallone can’t be stopped. In fact after it happened they went to their corner and Stone Cold told his trainer, “He’s not human. He’s like a piece of iron.” (sun uk)
TIGER WOODS - Remember an hour ago when Us said he was on Long Island. Um, “or not”. Because his yacht set sail today out of Florida (picture). He wasn’t seen on board so he may or may not be there. Maybe it’s haunted, like the Black Pearl. (inf daily)
Ashley Tisdale tried to sneak away from the paparazzi today in Los Angeles, but they caught her anyway and captured her natural beauty in these pictures. She better hope this is the only time she’s caught today. Next time it could be the cops, for being so sexy it’s illegal. The charge: stealing her beauty from the rainbow.
Elin Nordegren was out running errands this morning in Florida, but her husband Tiger Woods hasn’t been seen in public for almost 6 weeks. Us magazine says that’s because he’s been traveling around anonymously and hiding out a thousand miles from home. It’s like ‘Sleeping With The Enemy’, except in this case Tiger is Julia Roberts and Elin is the handsome but abusive Irishman.
(Woods) has been staying with his billionaire pal Jim Dolan, the controversy-prone CEO of Cablevision and owner of Madison Square Garden and the New York Knicks.
Dolan invited Woods to hide out at his $13.5 million fortress-like waterfront estate on New York’s Long Island a week after his sex scandal broke.
“Tiger’s been seeing a shrink who goes to Dolan’s house,” says the source.
The source adds that Dolan has even opened up his fleet of jets to the golfer,
“He’s the one keeping him under the radar,” says the source. “Jet-setting everywhere. I know Tiger’s flown on Jim’s jet from Florida probably three times.”
This Jim guy sounds like a pretty good friend. The last time I got dumped by a girl, me and two friends went to dinner and after pouring my heart out one made the observation that I was a “fuckin loser”, while the other nodded in agreement, then wondered if the, “baby gonna cry?” It was part of their tough-love program, and was roughly a thousand times worse than having no friends at all.
Mariah Carey won the Breakthrough Actress award at last nights Palm Springs Film Festival, and when she went to accept she admitted the obvious, namely that she was drunk off her ass.
Carey won the award for her portrayal of a guidance councilor in ‘Precious’, the story of an obese, illiterate, 16-year-old black girl with two kids (both the product of her dad raping her) who lives on welfare in Harlem and has HIV. The film has been a huge hit on the awards show circuit, and with racist white people who like saying, “I told you so.”