They won’t take his money

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 8:18 AM

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The only redeeming part of Perez Hiltons self-serving non-apology yesterday was the second to last paragraph, when he said:

“I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.”

Shepard, if you don’t remember, was a gay teenager who was tortured and killed in Wyoming in 1998. The foundation is run by Matthews mom, who unfortunately for Hilton has what they call “dignity”.  Some highlights from a statement she posted last night:

“The Matthew Shepard Foundation was surprised to learn this morning via media reports that blogger Perez Hilton has announced plans to donate, to our organization, the proceeds of a lawsuit…
We had no advance notice or contact from Mr. Hilton or his representatives regarding this proposal, nor any communication since he posted this plan to his website.
We do not know the details of the lawsuit, whether it has been filed, the nature of his claims or the likely outcome. But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.
…we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people’s attention the consequences of hateful or intolerant language.”

If you’re a gay guy in the news because someone punched you, and the most prominent gay rights organization has asked you to apologize, and a charity who works to end violence against gay people won’t take money from you, I think it’s safe to say you’re a piece of shit.

(I’m a big Hollywood star, far too self-centered to donate time or money to worthwhile causes, but this woman should be commended. Everyone reading this should donate anything you can here. I know you fuckers have a spare 10 dollars.  HEROIC UPDATE – I am now a member of yet another gay rights leadership council (screencap).  I can’t even keep track of how many I belong to at this point.  50?)

This probably won’t be surprising

By brendon June 26, 2009 @ 6:15 AM

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Michael Jackson has been a fragile mess for years now, surrounded by rumors of a pain killer addiction for almost two decades. So an early report in todays Sun UK claiming this is what killed him may have some validity, or may just be an obvious guess. I mean, c’mon, how’d you think he was gonna die? Fight club?

Michael Jackson’s upcoming tour and “life threatening” addiction to painkillers pushed the fragile star to breaking point, it was claimed today.
The King of Pop was under immense pressure to perform a series of epic concerts in London as part of his “This Is It” tour.
Yesterday, the Jackson family’s lawyer said his addiction to medications had become serious.
He feared this, along with growing pressure from his inner circle in preparation for the concerts, had contributed to his death.
The star died last night after a cardiac arrest. He collapsed and stopped breathing after an injection of a powerful painkiller named Demerol.

Stuff like this is why I’m glad I stopped do so many hardcore drugs. What changed my life was an Aaron Carter poster that said Drugs are for Slugs. And I looked at my demerol and I thought about how disappointed Aaron Carter would be if he could see what I was doing.

1958 – 2009

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 1:32 PM

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Michael Jackson was rushed by ambulance to the UCLA Medical Center just after 1pm pct. TMZ says he suffered cardiac arrest and paramedics administered CPR in the ambulance. A family member told them, “he’s in really bad shape.” The original 911 call was placed at 12:21pm. The ambulance would have been dispatched sooner, but Perez thought he saw a spider and spent the next two hours on Twitter begging people to call the police.

HOLY SHIT UPDATE – TMZ now says Jackson has died at the age of 50.  “Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.  A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived.”

2:38pm UPDATEX17 is also being told that Jackson has died.  “Michael Jackson arrived at the UCLA Medical Center at 1:10pm this afternoon after reportedly suffering from cardiac arrest approximately two hours ago.  Two SUV’s followed Jackson’s ambulance to the hospital and we’re told by eyewitnesses that about ten people emerged from the two cars … Captain Steve Ruda of the Los Angeles Fire Department told the LA Times that when paramedics arrived, (Jackson) was not breathing.”

3:01pm UPDATE – the latest LA Times update, posted less than 20 minutes ago, reads: “Michael Jackson is in a coma and his family is arriving at his bedside.”

3:12 UPDATERadar Online is reporting that Jackson has in fact died.  “Michael Jackson has died, RadarOnline.com has confirmed.  The singer passed away Thursday afternoon at UCLA Medical Center.”

3:19 UPDATEOK magazine says, “OK! has learned from sources that Michael Jackson has passed away at the age of 50.”

FINAL UPDATEthe Los Angeles Times and CBS confirm Michael Jackson has died, at age 50 from cardiac arrest.  “Pop star Michael Jackson was pronounced dead by doctors this afternoon after arriving at a hospital in a deep coma.”

Perez is having a good week

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 1:31 PM

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I only occasionally get stories directly from trusted sources, I get most of them from online news reports, so I haven’t developed Perez Hiltons keen eye for the inner workings of Hollywood.  It sounds silly now, but many thought when reports came flooding in that Michael Jackson had a heart attack, it meant he had a heart attack.  But Perez knows how to read between the lines.  This was his first post when the story broke:

“We knew something like this would happen!!
Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!
His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
We are dubious!!
Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ’95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!
He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!”

(screencap here)

Afternoon headlines

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 12:13 PM

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BRAD PITT – is being asked to run for mayor of New Orleans. He doesn’t have any political experience, but he does have experience with kids who have never met their biological father, and that’s like half the city, so this might work. (source = mirror uk)

E! – announced yesterday that they will no longer report on Heidi and Spencer, after 94 percent of their readers voted to ban them. Is E! just following what I did three weeks ago? I don’t care. (source = e! online)

LIZ HURLEY – it’s frustrating that all women could have huge racks, just like Liz Hurley, but they won’t do it. What are you Amish? We can do this now, it’s all figured out. You gonna stop driving a car too, and wash your clothes on a rock in the river. God you suck so much. (hq jump here. source = splash)

Kate Gosselin is hot

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 11:45 AM

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That headline and banner picture are just to screw with you by the way, because in the actual pictures of Kate Gosselin in a bikini walking around her yard today, she sort of looks like hell. I don’t even wanna think about her legs long enough to write something, and luckily I don’t have to because of that stupid hat. I wouldn’t care if the earth had 5 suns, there’s never a good enough reason for a girl to wear a hat like that. This is why guys divorce their wives. Because of that hat. No hot 20-year-old has ever worn that hat. It’s like Betsy Ross went to the beach, although even that sounds hotter than this looks.

(hq jump here. source = splash news online)

Will.I.Am finally speaks

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 10:00 AM

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Will.I.Am and Perez Hilton have both issued statements today concerning the incident this weekend in Toronto, and I’m sure it’s just coincidence, but Will.I.Am’s statement is 172 words long, and he uses I, me or my 4 times. Once every 43 words.

Hilton’s statement is 411 words long, and he uses I, me or my 41 times. Over 10 percent of his statement is I, me or my.

Hilton’s statement (read it here) is allegedly an apology, but he does not apologize for lying on twitter when he wrote that Will.I.Am assaulted him, he does not apologize for screaming “you’re a fucking faggot” at Will.I.Am, and he specifically does not apologize to GLAAD, who earlier this week criticized his use of offensive gay slurs. To be honest it’s not entirely clear what he is apologizing for. He does however manage to work in two compliments to himself.  He’s a class act.

“I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word…”

“I am apologizing to the gay community, to anyone who was hurt by my choice of words, and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.”

Will.I.Am takes a slightly different approach (read it here)…

“I will not continue to comment specifically on the incident that happened in Toronto last weekend… But I would hate for my silence to be misconstrued… I do not condone harassment or violence of any kind…
No one deserves physical abuse…
And no one deserves verbal abuse…
Everyone needs to be respected…”

I hope Wills incendiary language doesn’t set Perez off again.  You have to tread very lightly or he’ll scream at you.  It’s like dealing with a rabid monkey.

Farrah Fawcett has (passed away)

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 8:30 AM

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I naturally assume that everyone is still riding the high of LSU winning the College World Series last night, their sixth since 1991, so I’m sorry to drag everyone down, but late last night Farrah Fawcetts publicist made this statement:

It was just related to me, that our Farrah just given last rites. She is not in any pain. For those who believe make contact with god now.

That was on his Twitter page, and I’m no pc homo but I don’t think it would have killed him to change out his wildly, insanely inappropriate wallpaper before making a post about his client going to see God.  But whatever.  I thought a nice way to honor Farrah on what may be her final day would be to post a bunch of her Playboy pictures and then stare at her tits. You stay classy Brendon!

BREAKING CRAPPY UPDATE – at 9:37am pct, Entertainment Tonight issued an alert reporting that Farrah Fawcett died this morning at the age of 62.

(the pictures start here, and I should mention that they were surprisingly hard to find, so I tacked on Melanie Griffiths 1976 shoot when she was 19 – guest starring Don Johnson and Not Shaving – and Bo Dereks in 1980. I figure they’re all basically the same thing)