Olivia Munn and Matthew Morrison went out

By brendon February 21, 2011 @ 1:40 PM

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Olivia Munn and Glee star Matthew Morrison went to Madison Square Garden yesterday to watch the Rangers and Flyers play, and he was probably hoping for more than a high five at the end, but to be fair, she did wear a flannel shirt. To a hockey game. It’s not like she didn’t warn him. It was the clearest message she could have sent without wearing a rape whistle around her neck.

Monday morning headlines

By brendon February 21, 2011 @ 12:41 PM

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UNKNOWN – won the weekend box office with $21.8 million, but the heavily hyped I Am Number Four only managed 3rd place with 19.2. So apparently you can be a brooding teenager with special powers and a forbidden love all you want, but if you’re not a vampire, fuck off. (deadline)

DIANNA AGRON AND ALEX PETTYFER – are the stars of I Am Number Four, and they’ve dated for about a year, until this weekend, when they broke up. So overall it was a great weekend for these two. Maybe today they’ll fall down the stairs and swallow a bee. (us)

AMANDA SEYFRIED AND RYAN PHILLIPPE – reportedly broke up last week, but they were making out Friday night at L Bar in Hollywood. Or so she thinks, thanks to those pills I put in her drink. (star)

HOLLY MADISON – had her hands cast in cement outside the Planet Hollywood at Caesars Palace in Vegas. Because that’s why she’s famous. Her hands. (wenn)

John Travolta is bald, elated

By brendon February 21, 2011 @ 10:37 AM

EXCLUSIVE: John Travolta A Swinger In Hawaii

John Travolta celebrated his 57th birthday this weekend in Hawaii with Kelly Preston, and if I didn’t know better I’d swear he had never seen a camera before and is staring at this one to try and figure out what it does. He looks completely befuddled. Or maybe they’re just unhappy. Perhaps because Kelly is more attracted to the styrofoam head back in their room with Johns wig on it. Unfortunately so is John.

(image source = flynet)

afternoon headlines

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 6:33 PM

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STEVE JOBS – has fought a rare form of pancreatic cancer for 7 years, but now reportedly has just 6 weeks to live. It’s not that there isn’t a cure for pancreatic cancer, it’s just that it’s on youtube and he can’t open the file. (the enquirer)

ASHLEY SIMPSON – filed for divorce from Pete Wentz just last week, but she’s been out partying for months, and it got to the point where he felt he couldn’t trust her. Which seems reasonable. Because she’s dumb, and has probably been on the losing end of a roofie more than once. (us)

CHRISSY TEIGEN – and the rest of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit models are in Vegas to promote the swimsuit issue, which I bet you never even heard of until this very moment. This Vegas trip really saved the day. (fame)

Justin Bieber was shot to death on CSI

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 4:14 PM







Justin Bieber made his second appearance on CSI last night, playing, “a troubled teen whose brother was killed by the CSI.” In the end, Justin goes looking for a fight, and just like it would in real life, he instantly ends up on his back covered in blood.

The whole thing was ridiculous, mostly because it’s impossible to look tough with that haircut. He might as well have a red top hat and bow tie covered in sequins.

Miley Cryus is furious

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 3:46 PM

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A few days ago, GQ published an interview with Billy Ray Cyrus where he said that he’s scared for his daughter Miley’s future, and that he regrets ever letting her star on Hannah Montana.

In his defense, I wouldn’t have thought she could read either. But either she can or someone summarized it, because Popeater says…

“To say Miley is angry is an understatement,” a friend (says). “She’s furious that her own flesh and blood would make a private matter so public. Who does he think he is, Michael Lohan?”
…(She) is mystified, saying it’s “unforgivable” that Billy Ray would randomly start biting the hand that fed him.
“This isn’t what a father does. He never said a bad world about ‘Hannah Montana’ all those years it made millions for the family, and now that Miley has turned 18 and is making her own decisions, he does this. Unforgivable.”

It’s probably not a good sign that Miley considers herself “the hand that fed” Billy Ray, but whatever. I’m just thankful that all came through an interpretor so we didn’t have to listen to colloquialisms about mules and bumblebees or some shit like that.

Lindsay is officially back to being Lindsay

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 2:18 PM

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Lindsay Lohan spent about 11 weeks in rehab, and has been out for around 6, and even though she’s already managed to get arrested for felony theft, it still didn’t feel like she was back at 100 percent.

Now we’re good. X17 says…

Lindsay went out to get her party on last night, following her ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson to their old stomping grounds – Teddy’s nightclub at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood.
Linds arrived in her rented Porsche at 1:45 am to the parking lot of the hotel, looking for Sam.

A little while later Lindsay got into Sams car and Sam drove her home. Oh, but why didn’t Lindsay drive her car?

“Lindsay didn’t seem straight. She didn’t need to be behind the wheel and Sam always takes care of Lindsay no matter what … Sam feels a responsibility for Lindsay so she told Lindsay she’d drive her home.”

So Lindsay was drunk. What a surprising plot twist that was. Hopefully this felony theft thing will work out and she’ll go to jail for a long time so we don’t have to deal with her. Otherwise I’m just gonna wait until she goes home one night, dig a moat around her house and fill the god damned thing with crocodiles.

its the Britney Spears ‘Hold It Against Me’ video

By brendon February 18, 2011 @ 1:10 PM

After weeks of insufferable promotion and teases, Britney Spears finally released her video for Hold It Against Me last night (note: her record label is owned by Sony, in case that wasn’t clear by the 300 times you see the Sony label on screen).

It’s not the greatest video in the world or anything, and very obviously she’s not 19 anymore, but she still must look over at her old rival Christina Aguilera and laugh her ass off. The only way Christina could film a dance video these days is if you filmed it in space.