CHARLIZE THERON IS PREGNANT. MAYBE.

By brendon July 02, 2008 @ 7:58 AM

There’s been a persistent rumor out there that Charlize Theron is pregnant, although it’s hard to tell anything by the pictures of her last night on the red carpet for the premier of "Hancock".  Whenever people ask her about it, she just refuses to answer, but maybe a few minutes on this water board will loosen her tongue.

JESSICA ALBA IS BARBARELLA

By brendon July 02, 2008 @ 7:10 AM

Let me begin by saying that, yes, that’s clearly not Jessica Alba dressed as Barbarella.  It’s Heidi Klum in an old shoot for British GQ.  I don’t have any pictures of Jessica Alba dressed as Barbarella, despite several hundred letters where I make it very clear that she should do that.  I also explained the benefits of her making out with Megan Fox under a waterfall.  There’s been no progress on that, but this may be a step in the right direction.  Page Six says…

Rose McGowan's breakup with her fiancée, director Robert Rodriguez, could be good news for some other actresses, who could end up with the leading roles she was set to play in his movies.
McGowan was hoping to star in at least three planned Rodriguez films – a remake of "Barbarella," "Red Sonja" and "Woman in Chains!"
"Too bad 'Grindhouse' didn't gross $100 million. Then, maybe, 'Barbarella' would have gotten the green light," said one source. "Instead, the moguls were saying, 'We need a bigger star, a bigger name.' " Jessica Alba has been touted as a possible replacement.

Rose McGowan has a lot to learn about sleeping her way to the top.  She didn’t even get one movie out of this.  She slept her way from the bottom to the upper bottom.  Which is a shame because we think she’s a good actress.  We = me and my balls.

UPDATE = oh wait.  that banner picture is Heidi Klum as Raquel Welch in "One Million Years, BC".  i know what Barbarella is, i just remembered it wrong.  thanks to David and his condescending email for reminding me.



PETE WENTZ IS GAY

By brendon July 02, 2008 @ 5:00 AM

I’ve seen that picture of Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, but there’s literally nothing on earth I have less interest in than Pete Wentz on the cover of Out magazine, so I never bothered to read anything from it.  But it turns out it was sort of noteworthy because he apparently confesses to kissing guys on several different occasions.  AOL says…

In an interview with Out magazine, the Fall Out Boy bassist admitted that he was 16 or 17 when he first kissed a guy — and it was on a dare. Wentz also said he continued experimenting through age 19. His last same-sex smooch?
"A long time ago. Probably when I was 22?" said the 29-year-old Wentz, who also said he has a man-crush on fellow musician John Mayer.

Holy crap.  I thought he was gonna say he did it when he was 8 or something.  22?  I hate to be the one to break this to Ashlee Simpson, but the man you married is gay. 

CHRISTINA MILLIAN IS VERY FAMOUS

By brendon July 01, 2008 @ 11:42 AM

I don’t actually know what popular songs Christina Millina has sung, but I am aware that she is a famous singer.  I just don’t know why exactly.  So I ran a search to find out why, and it turns out the answer is, ”Who cares, you homo.  She’s in a bikini and she has a hot ass.”

(picture source = splash news online



IS THIS LINDSAYS SISTER?

By brendon July 01, 2008 @ 11:35 AM

In Touch and OK both have candid pictures of the girl claimed to be the half sister of Lindsay Lohan.  The story is Lindsays dad fathered the girl 13 years ago while briefly separated from Lindsays mom.  The New York Daily News says…

Photos of the 13-year-old cutie who could be Lindsay Lohan’s half-sister have finally been released. And the resemblance is striking.
From her freckles to her smile, Ashley Kaufmann certainly looks like she could be a member of the Lohan family.
Michael Lohan has revealed he took a DNA test to find out whether he is the father of the Montana teen.

Hmm.  Well, this girl isn’t drinking or smoking or naked or just generally making an ass of herself, so I have my doubts that she's related to Lindsay.  Why is she sitting quietly next to a tree?  Seems like a real Lohan would be humping it while wearing too much eyeliner.



ANNE HATHAWAY IS SHALLOW

By brendon July 01, 2008 @ 11:10 AM

As Rosie O’Donnell can attest, Donald Trump is not afraid to eviscerate people in the press.  Even if you don't know him, that won't spare you from attacking you if he thinks you've earned it.  And apparently he thinks Anne Hathaway has earned it.  MSNBC says…

The “Apprentice” head honcho has raised a critical eyebrow at “Get Smart’s” Anne Hathaway for dumping her boyfriend, and Trump Tower resident, Raffaello Follieri, days before he was arrested and charged with fraud.
“She hasn’t remained very loyal to him, has she?” Trump told “Access Hollywood’s” Billy Bush. “So when he had plenty of money, she liked him, but then after that, not as good, right?”

It’s no wonder that Trump would be a little sensitive to this.  He hasn’t been nailing hot ass all these years because he’s so handsome.  The fucker is rich.  If he were poor he wouldn't be having sex with famous models.  And don’t even bother making a sex robot that looks like a famous model.  All that did was shock my penis.



KATE BECKINSALE IS FRIENDLY

By brendon July 01, 2008 @ 8:09 AM

There’s new video today (see it here) of Kate Beckinsale walking down the street in Beverly Hills with her husband and her daughter and her daughters friend, when for some unknown reason Kate starts to pull down her top and then rubs her husbands crotch.  Please keep in mind they’re just standing on a street corner, in full view of the public, and yet Kate can't contain herself when thinking about how badly she needs some cock.  When asked for a comment, Kates ex-husband sobbed uncontrollably into his pillow.

NEW DARK KNIGHT STUFF

By brendon July 01, 2008 @ 7:02 AM

Dominoes Pizza has an exclusive online trailer for "The Dark Knight", for some inexplicable reason, and it actually has quite a bit of new footage. Unfortunately there’s still no sign that Ben Affleck is in this. That guy just can't make a bad movie.