marisa miller is … um …

By brendon February 25, 2009 @ 1:01 PM

These aren’t especially exciting but neither is today so there you go.  It's Marisa Miller backstage for some fashion show with no makeup on.   And it’s pretty eye opening.  I assume in some other pictures she shits in her pants or strokes her cock, since she's so determined to ruin all my fantasies about her. 

rihanna might be pregnant

By brendon February 25, 2009 @ 10:30 AM

Star magazine says that Rihanna thought she was pregnant with Chris Browns baby in the days leading up to their fight, but she never told him because she thought he might react badly.  Which makes sense considering he punched her in the eye just for throwing his keys.  

Rihanna consulted an ob-gyn at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after confiding to close friends that she suspected she was pregnant with Chris' baby.
(During the visit to the doctor, she was) wearing sunglasses and dressed in all black, she appeared nervous and upset. "She was extremely fidgety. She seemed totally uncomfortable."

It’s possible of course she was at the ob-gyn because she was pregnant but it could have been other things too.  After we had sex for the first time my girlfriend told me the vagina will seal back up overnight sometimes and you have to have surgery to reopen it but the surgery is real expensive.  That’s why she hangs out with that dude Marco so much.  He'll come over and pick her up then drive her all over town and pay for all her drinks so she can save up and have sex with me again.  Ha, what a sucker that guy is!

so far, so good

By brendon February 25, 2009 @ 8:57 AM

It's been 24 hours and so far no denials that Megan Fox has indeed broken up with Brian Austin Green, so someone should take away his belt and shoelaces and lock him in an empty room before he becomes a statistic.  Someone reminded me of the pictures below, where it sure as hell looks like she’s sucking him off in a car. It’s all downhill for this dude from here.  Obviously he’ll try to find someone to date as hot as Megan Fox, but quite frankly he has a better chance of banging a mermaid.

jennifer aniston still loves brad

By brendon February 25, 2009 @ 8:12 AM

The big predicted showdown between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston at the Oscars never really happened, except in Jenifer Aniston’s mind of course.  I can’t even tell at this point if Angelina even knows who Aniston is.  OK magazine says…

"Jen couldn't have cared less whether Angie was at the Oscars.  Her mind was fixated on Brad.  Once her eyes met Brad's that night, it rekindled all the old feelings.  She has never stopped loving Brad."

And the feelings may be mutual! (*)

"Just because Brad was swept off his feet by Angelina, it didn't mean he stopped loving Jen.  He has this obsession with Angelina and he felt he had to explore a relationship with her.  (Then) things just seemed to snowball and the next thing Brad knew, he had six kids.  There was no turning back."

I feel bad for Aniston.  It's no wonder she’s still holding out hope.  All Pitt did was cut off all contact four years ago then buy several houses with someone else and have six kids.  He’s really sending mixed messages.

(*)excited punctuation courtesy of OK

chris brown is doing great

By brendon February 25, 2009 @ 6:02 AM

Every business that has anything to do with Chris Brown has dumped his sorry ass since he beat the hell out of his girlfriend Rihanna three weeks ago.  Now Sony Pictures is running the other way too.  Brown had completed work on a movie called "Bone Deep", starring Paul Walker and Matt Dillon.  Word is that Sony is erasing him from any and all promotion materials.  He will still be in the movie as of now, just not in any advertising or trailers.  

I called Chris to ask him about this, and of course my first question was, how can you beat up a girl.  And he said, well you have to aim lower because they’re short.  And I said that’s not really what I meant.

andy richter is joining conan

By brendon February 24, 2009 @ 2:17 PM

I always thought Andy Richter was funnier than Conan O'Brien, so for me the show took a step back when Andy left to do great but unappreciated stuff like "Andy Richter Controls the Universe" (on DVD March 24) and "Andy Barker P.I.".  But now, hey, good news.  MSNBC says…

Conan O’Brien will have a familiar face when he begins his new “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien” run on NBC: Andy Richter.
Richter will be the announcer for the “Tonight Show” when Conan O’Brien takes over on June 1.
Richter previously served as a sidekick to O’Brien on “Late Night” between 1993 and 2000. According to a release sent out by NBC, Richter’s new role will not be as a sidekick, but he will be involved in live and prerecorded comedy bits.
“Andy is one of the funniest people I know, and we’ve maintained a close friendship since he left ‘Late Night,’” O’Brien said. “We have a proven chemistry that will be an incredible asset to ‘The Tonight Show.’”

This is good news for Andy, who is ridiculously funny.  And good news for the rest of us too, because I hear he gets a little stir crazy when he isn’t working a lot.  For example, he’s the guy who shot those abortion doctors a few years ago.  His agent framed someone else but everyone in town knows it was Andy.

audrinas house got robbed

By brendon February 24, 2009 @ 11:59 AM

People complain that there are no minorities on TV, but what about security camera footage?  That’s seen on a TV.  Watch this and you can see a girl who looks Latin (she also looks hot, adding to the fact theory, "Latin chicks are hot but they’re all crazy") and some twink break into Audrina Patridges house.  She posted the video today and is asking for help finding the people who did it.  They should check the BeBe at my mall. That place has tons of gay guys and Mexicans. 

fashion shows are getting better

By brendon February 24, 2009 @ 9:49 AM

It was fashion week in New York last week, but now the stage moves to Madrid, and yesterday Andres Sarda put on a show that some of today’s top perverts are calling one of the best ever.  It had some sexy looks, including See-Thru Panty Dracula.  She was chosen for the show over Hot Pants Frankenstien and Strap-On Dominatrix Mummy.