George Clooney seems reasonable

By brendon August 14, 2009 @ 3:50 PM

burn after reading photocall 270808

George Clooney is preparing a number of lawsuits after pictures were published of a 13-year-old girl as she changed clothes while alone in one of the rooms of his Italian villa. TMZ says…

…paparazzi climbed over the wall of his Italian home and shot a topless photo of a 13-year-old girl changing in one of his guest rooms.
The photographer also took shots of Clooney and his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis enjoying private moments in the yard of his estate.
The photos were published in two magazines — and in a statement Clooney says he’s gunning to sue both the mags and the photog who took the pictures.
“We’re suing two magazines AND a photographer. I don’t know about the law in the United States but in Italy it’s illegal for photographers to climb over my wall and to take long lens pictures of a 13-year-old girl in her bedroom.”

Holy crap. It’s hard to find any way to defend taking secret pictures of a topless 13-year-old girl. Unless she was really hot, I mean. And she looked way older, and this was the only way to get them because she was real stuck up. Then I think maybe this would be okay. I think George would understand if he could just hear my side I mean this gentleman’s side of the story.

Tony Romo is insulting

By brendon August 14, 2009 @ 3:05 PM

Jessica Simpson Drunk at Katsuya

I don’t know who these “sources” are telling Fox News that Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson because of her drinking, but it’s obvious they don’t think very much of us.

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with her head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider said. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

Seriously? Are we being serious here? We’re supposed to believe the Dallas Cowboys – the DALLASFUCKINGCOWBOYS – were offended by Jessica Simpsons partying? If anything they were annoyed because the stripper they punched out and tied up in the trunk of their Bentley would wake up any minute now and they needed to go bury her in the desert before then, and Jessica was taking to long to pass out. Saying your drinking was offending the Dallas Cowboys is like saying your anti-semitism was bothering the other guys in the SS.

Megan Fox is very important

By brendon August 14, 2009 @ 9:00 AM


Megan Fox wore this awesomely tight dress to a meeting yesterday at Hotel Casa Del Mar in Santa Monica. Where I used to bar tend. I hope there wasn’t some confusion. I hope she didn’t get all dressed up because she thought I still worked there. She did look pretty sad when she left and walked around out back on the beach. In one sense you could say that she and I are star-crossed lovers. In another, more accurate sense, you could say I live in a slightly dangerous world of fantasy and delusion.

(4 more pics here. hq jump here. source = pacific coast and fame)

Kate Gosselin is very sad

By brendon August 14, 2009 @ 8:00 AM


Kate Gosselin was photographed crying yesterday evening as she checked into a hotel moments after being escorted from her home by the police. Splash News says…

Kate checks into the Days Inn moments after having a fight with Jon Gosselin at the front gate of their home. Police were called in as she was not allowed in by Jon as he has custody of the children at the house this week. Kate had been screaming at him about Nanny Stephanie Santoro that had been on duty that day around the children. Kate was visibly upset as she arrived to her hotel as she used a kleenex to wipe the tears away in the front seat of her SUV.

Wow this is really sad. What will she do now? Will she stay there all week? And why wouldn’t Jon let her see the kids?

These are just a few of the things I might be thinking if Kate wasn’t a mean spirited condescending bitch with a bizarre sense of entitlement. But she is so fuck her. She can sit there and cry until she blacks out from dehydration for all I care.

Next story.

Sienna Miller is in Ibiza – UPDATE

By brendon August 13, 2009 @ 7:11 PM


Sienna Miller is in Ibiza, Spain today, and I never knew that place was such a hotspot until everyone in Hollywood started going there. If you don’t know, it’s actually an island about 30 miles off the eastern shore of Spain in the Mediterranean Sea. Their history dates all the way back to 650 BC, when Phoenician settlers founded a port there and used it’s natural resources to produce dye, salt, and wool.

If you’d like to learn more about Ibiza, you’re a nerd and should probably go to some other site. Sienna Miller is a bikini for gods sake. Maybe you can find a website that has sexy pictures of books since you love em so much, dork.

SEXY UPDATE - now with 500 percent more bikini madness

(27 more pics here. hq jump = here.  source = splash)

Bar Refaeli is attractive – UPDATE

By brendon August 13, 2009 @ 5:58 PM


Whatever noble Sports Illustrated staff member it was who went on Twitter and posted these behind-the-scenes pictures of Bar Refaeli shooting the 2010 Swimsuit Issue is officially my new hero. That stranger who gave me his bone marrow when I had leukemia is now a distant second. That shit was like 2 years ago. Know what he’s done for me since then? Not a god damn thing that’s what.

SEXY UPDATE – now with 13 more.
(hq jump here. 4 more here)

Afternoon headlines

By brendon August 13, 2009 @ 5:18 PM


KIRSTIE ALLEY – has four years to live because of her binge eating and total lack of self control. She’s now 58 and over 250 pounds. The article is from the Enquirer, but put the quotes in a different order and you could rewrite it for Popular Science, bragging that even motionless tubs of shit can live to 62 in this modern age of wonders. (source = NE)

BRAD PITT – Will not be running for mayor of New Orleans, despite a grass-roots campaign asking him to. If he did, he says he’d be “running on the gay marriage, no religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform.” Whatever dude. Campaign with Angie in the Tomb Raider outfit and I’d vote for him as King of Earth. (source = star)

KAT VON D – Is in the German FHM this month showing off her hot little body. The tats are a bit much though. Too many faces. Too many unblinking eyes and motionless expressions starring at me while I do it to her. I would be like humping Terri Schiavo.  (hq jump = here)

Family Guy might be funny again

By brendon August 13, 2009 @ 3:21 PM

I haven’t watched “Family Guy” in like two years because it sort of became the same joke over and over again, and that sort of thing hit a little too close to home, but the live read they did last night makes me reconsider. The Hollywood Reporter has three clips online as the cast and a full orchestra read a script that was deemed too edgy to be made.

The episode revolves around Lois agreeing to be a surrogate mother for a pair of married friends only to see them perish in a car crash, leaving her with the decision of whether or not to keep gestating their egg. As anyone familiar with the Family Guy canon has no doubt guessed by now, she doesn’t.

Everyone loves a good abortion joke, so I don’t know why Fox won’t let them air this. South Park did an episode about stem cells where Cartman sold aborted fetuses. And there was that Scooby Doo where Daphne got raped and had a miscarriage. I think Fox is wrong, I think people can handle this.