Katie Holmes went for a workout in LA yesterday, and on one hand it’s nice to see a famous actress who knows that the paparazzi photograph everything she does but doesn’t care if she occasionally looks like a normal person. On the other hand, fuck that. Famous actresses need to look hot all the time, with perfect hair and big tits. If I wanted to see normal girls I wouldn’t be on the internet. (image source = fame)
The two youngest Kardashian sisters, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, are once again cheerleaders for their high schol in Pasadena, and now that football is back so are they. Unfortunately they’re still skinny and average looking. Every single team at every level should choose cheerleaders the way the University of Oregon does.
Step 1: Find the hottest girl on campus.
Step 2: If she can’t already, teach her how to raise her arms above her head and go “aaaahhhh!”
Congratulations. You now have awesome cheerleaders. If I wanted to watch flat chested girls flip around I’d be watching the fucking Olympics.
While on a panel at the Venice Film Festival this weekend, some reporter gave Madonna some flowers as a gift. But since they were hydrangeas, which she “loathes”, she rightfully put them on the floor and immediately made it clear what an asshole the reporter was for not knowing that. As the old saying goes, “it’s not the thought that counts, if you don’t read someones mind and give them a gift they love, fuck you.”
Eddie Murphy has been named as the host the 84th Academy Awards, which will air on ABC on February 26. This is a huge improvement over last year but it would have been even better if it was Charlie Murphy. Then they could have done that clip/montage segment they always do with the host in the beginning with Voldemort saying, “fuck yo couch, nigga!” (hollywood reporter)
Kate Winslet helped open the 68th Venice Film Festival earlier today with the premiere of her dull sounding movie ‘Mildred Pierce’, and as usual she looked classy yet fantastic. I especially love how her dress is a slightly different color around her boobs, as if I needed a reminder to stare at her tits. Way ahead you, dress.
(image source = getty and splash)
Now that Kim Kardashian is married and boring since she won’t be doing any more whoring around, it’s time for
pimp family matriarch Kris Kardashian to cast aside that dead weight and start compromising the principles of the kids who can still make her some money.
And what better way than to hook one up with effeminate wussy Justin Bieber. Star says…
Kris “desperately wants Kendall to become as famous as her superstar sisters, and she’s pushing for her to date Justin to help make that happen,” a source reveals. And the momager isn’t bothered by the teen singer’s not-so- single status. “She doesn’t care that he is dating Selena Gomez,” the source adds.
Kim Kardashian is even trying to set up her model half-sister. “Kim invited Justin to her wedding in an attempt to play matchmaker,” the source says. And the clever bride even made sure that the Biebs, 17, would be conveniently without a plus one on the big day — and free to mingle with Kendall without girlfriend Selena standing in the way. “They try very hard to keep the Kardashian name in the spotlight,” the source says.
Well at least they picked someone none threatening. If that little queer ever tried to get Kendall out of her dress it would only be so he could try it on.
UK model Imogen Thomas is in Marbella, Spain, today to finish up her 2012 calendar by taking pictures of her in and then not in a bikini. It’s a good thing only girls have boobs. If the sun had tits this fantastic I’d be blind after spending ages 12 through Now staring directly into it.
Speaking of glorious human achievements; this website! I know things have been a little stagnant and slow lately, but it’s not because I’m lazy. It’s not entirely because I’m lazy. Okay it’s because I’m lazy. Oh what, like you’re so great? GET OFF MY BACK! But it’s also because I’ve been trying to reinvent the page, to add way more content, make it easier to navigate and look at celebrity boobs, but with all the same mean spirited whining you’ve come to expect.
As part of that process I spent all day yesterday in the LA offices of the giant faceless entity that owns the site, and after apologizing to everyone I’ve ever worked with for being an intractable dickhead prone to temper tantrums when I don’t get my way, everything was basically set up and laid out to make the site a billion times better. So please bear with me. Or “bare” with me, whichever one it is. I’m sure someone will go on my twitter and correct me. Which I’ll ignore. Go hump your dictionary if you love it so much, jackass.
(image source = splash and pacific coast)
“Chaz” Bono was of course named as one of the contestants on this seasons ‘Dancing With The Stars’, and there’s been nothing but controversy about it ever since. Which is obviously exactly what the producers wanted when they choose someone who is morbidly obese and would have a heart attack after a long conversation much less a dance class.
USA Today says..
Dancing fans have posted both supportive and unsupportive comments about Chaz. One used the word “disgusting” Another wrote: “I never and mean NEVER watch DWTS but will this season to support/vote for (Chaz).”
One Million Moms, a group whose goal is to fight the “filth many segments of our society, especially the entertainment media,” is urging people to “Email ABC Network and let them know that we will not tolerate these subjects being forced into our homes.” A note on the group’s site says the casting of Chaz Bono and Carson Kressley “is completely unacceptable and Christians should not watch the show, no excuses!”
I hope those people realize they’re not helping their cause any because they sound just as dumb as the people defending “Chaz”. If she wants to tell everyone she’s a boy now, I don’t really give a fuck. She can call herself King of the Dinosaurs and only speak by saying “rawr rawr” for all I care, I just don’t think I should be forced to play along with titles bestowed upon her by the voices in her head.
And she still doesn’t have a penis, so I’m not even really sure what’s changed. Facial hair doesn’t make someone a boy. It probably just means she’s Italian.