Kylie Jenner Wants to Fuck Cancer With a Gun

August 20, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I remember my sixteenth birthday. My buddies covered my share of a case of Genny Light and another friend who worked the late shift at Taco Bell served us up an eight pound version of a Nachos Bell Grande... READ MORE

Hilaria Thomas Has Five Days to Give Birth or Watch Her Boobs Explode

August 20, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I was staring so hard at the pregnant swollen boobs of Hilaria Thomas that I barely noticed old Russell Crowe kissing her on the head in the park as he fingered her toy poodle’s ass. Odd, but it’s Manhattan.... READ MORE

Lenny Dykstra Out of Prison, Looking Like a Million Bucks

August 20, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Toward the end of his final felonious run, I started receiving irregular drunk phone calls from Lenny Dykstra. He always sounded like he was on the side of a freeway on a 1997 cell phone connection. I’m not even... READ MORE

Magic Johnson’s Big Gay Son Likes to Party

August 20, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s 2013 and even a pro athlete with serious street baller cred knows he might wind up parent to a gay son. And he knows he’s going to love and support his own flesh and blood no matter what.... READ MORE

British People Get Naked to Save the Tigers

August 19, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Pale people in England love to get naked for protests and charitable causes. Which is somewhat counterintuitive to how the rest of the world prefers to view British people. Undaunted, a bunch of them went streaking through the London... READ MORE

“Breaking Amish” Star Fucked The Devil

August 19, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

One of the stars of TLC’s Breaking Amish LA claims to not only be a witch but that she has had carnal knowledge of Satan. The TV show that examines the lives of Amish youngins living out in the... READ MORE

Richard Grieco Looks… Yikes

August 19, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Good news for people who thought that Richard Grieco had completely vanished from the face of the Earth, he’s still alive and well, I guess. He also appears to be some sort of an artist, as he hosted an... READ MORE

Madonna Dressed Like A Slutty Marie Antoinette For Her Birthday

August 19, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Madonna turned 55 on Friday, so she did what every other 55-year old woman would do and threw a huge party and dressed like a fancy stripper nearly a third of her age. Actually, she dressed up like Marie... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Admitted What We Already Knew To Oprah (VIDEO)

August 19, 2013 | video | editor| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan‘s interview with Oprah Winfrey finally aired last night on OWN, and this is just a wild guess, but I assume that the $2 million she was paid for it has already been blown. That’s because Lindsay finally... READ MORE

Everybody Hates A-Rod (VIDEO)

August 19, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Everybody in baseball wants to see the A-Rod exit as fast as fucking possible. The longer he lingers, the more they’re going to keep throwing shit at him and making up stories about what a total dick he is. Like... READ MORE