Lindsay Lohan is trolling for friends on twitter

By brendon August 30, 2011 @ 2:16 PM


Lindsay Lohan wasn’t invited to the MTV Video Music Awards this year (which is amazing considering that she actually hosted the movie awards in 2004) and so the closest she can get to any real celebrities these days is with her TV and her twitter. So that’s why after Chris Brown took the stage, she wrote

@ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs

Which the desperate-for-approval Brown promptly re-tweeted, and led the desperate-for-friends Lohan to reply

@chrisbrown wanna meet?

Um, she does realize we can all see this right? This isn’t her own personal message system. She might not because she also follows this Chris Brown, who doesn’t follow her back so they don’t seem to know each other. So I’m assuming she followed the wrong one. It’s sort of stunning to see how dumb she is. It’s to the point now where you wonder how she manages to feed and clothe herself.

Julianne Hough has new leaked pictures, is still boring

By brendon August 30, 2011 @ 1:45 PM


Despite being ordinary in every way, Hollywood is forcing Julianne Hough upon us as if she wasn’t one of 10 million completely interchangeable blond girls in LA. And now she’s so famous she’s even gotten her phone hacked and her private pictures leaked online. But don’t be fooled, take it from me and that black lady behind Julianne in the headline picture; her cracker ass need to stop thinkin she all that and go away before we put a foot up her ass.

Chelsea Handler was kicked out of a bathroom

By brendon August 30, 2011 @ 1:04 PM


If a girl is at a party and she goes into a bathroom stall with a guy, it’s either to have sex or do drugs. I can’t even think of a third option. But maybe Chelsea Handler can because security threw her out of a party in New York after finding her in one.

The New York Post says…

Handler attended the party for Standard Hotel employees on the restored boat in the Hudson River
…a bouncer caught her and “a dude with gold shoes” in a stall in the men’s bathroom and ushered them both out.

Uh, I was kind of hoping for some more details there New York Post, so if anyone sees Michael Johnson or the country bunny, ask them what they were doing in a bathroom stall with Chelsea Handler.

Demi Lovato is plus sized

By brendon August 30, 2011 @ 12:10 PM


Apparently a lot of people were talking about the way Demi Lovato looked at the VMAs on Sunday, specifically about the weight she’s gained since leaving rehab, because she went on her twitter and said…

Guess what, I’m healthy and happy, and if you’re hating on my weight you obviously aren’t. :)

And Ashley Greene sent her a poorly spelled message saying “your beautiful”, to which Demi replied

this is why you’re my friend.. Thank you girl.

Which is kind of weird because it was when Joe Jonas broke up with Demi Lovato and then dated Ashley Greene that Demi lost it and ended up in rehab for cutting, an eating disorder, drugs, and anger management. But she seems happy now so good for her. And if she can find a way to go back in time to when being fat was a sign of status and privilege, she’ll be all set.

Gwen Stefani was in a bikini too

By brendon August 29, 2011 @ 3:54 PM


Gwen Stefani spent yesterday on the beach in Malibu with her kids and husband Gavin Rossdale, and as always she managed to look sexy without being slutty, without wearing a thong or “accidentally” losing her top in the surf. In other words, I hate you Gwen Stefani. Booo, you suck, get outa here before you give the whores in Hollywood the wrong idea.

(image source = inf)

Sarah Jessica Parker is gettin me all hot

By brendon August 29, 2011 @ 3:25 PM


Sarah Jessica Parker and her veiny arms were out in New York this weekend, and the only way I can explain her career as a movie star is the same reason the Twilight books are so popular. Because women are always complaining about being held to a double standard of beauty, so when they read about some plain girl or see a movie with the feral wolf-like thing in these pictures, it makes them feel good about themselves. “Look,” Hollywood says, “here’s a movie starring a sinewy old witch, and handsome popular actors are in love with her. There’s no way you’re uglier than she is. Not as long as you’re reading this on earth.”

(image source = bauer griffin)

Lady Gaga at the VMAs, sponsored by ‘Death Valley’

By brendon August 29, 2011 @ 2:21 PM


The new MTV comedy ‘Death Valley‘ premieres tonight, and it’s sort of like ‘Reno 911′ but if instead of shoplifters the police went after vampires and werewolves, and instead of writing them a ticket they sawed their heads off (bloddy preview clip under the cut). And “monsters on MTV whom I’d like to see impaled” is a perfect segue to Lady Gaga on the VMAs last night. You probably assumed she couldn’t get any less attractive, but then she went and brought back her “Jo Calderone” persona. She’s so ugly that when I saw her go on stage I literally died for 3 minutes.

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Bar Refaeli was in a bikini

By brendon August 29, 2011 @ 2:09 PM


In news that is at least as important as the VMAs, supermodel Bar Refaeli spent the weekend on a yacht and swimming in the ocean in Portofino, Italy. It seems like that’s the new celebrity hotspot for going on a yacht and swimming in the ocean. That’s why I’m building my underwater layer there, complete with giant robot claws to grab the supermodels like Bar (cue evil “Dun-Dun-Dun” music).

(image source = splash and wenn)