WILL SAYS ITS NOT TRUE

By brendon June 30, 2008 @ 11:57 AM

Back in May it was announced that Will Smith was investing 1 million dollars into the foundation of a private grade school in Calabasas, California.  Smith said it would stress things like low fat meals and non-traditional course work such as Yoga, Technology, Etiquette and Robotics, but many inferred it would be nothing but a Scientology indoctrination camp.  Like I did just now for example.  But today school administrators say again that this is not the case.  The AP says…

Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, have founded the New Village Academy, scheduled to open in September.
The school will use instructional methods developed by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard called study technology. And a few teachers belong to the church.
But the couple say they are not Scientologists, and the academy's director insists the facility has no religious affiliation.
"We are a secular school, and just like all nonreligious independent schools, faculty and staff do not promote their own religions at school or pass on the beliefs of their particular faith to children," New Village Academy director Jacqueline Olivier told the Los Angeles Times.

People would hate scientologists a lot less if they weren’t so damn shady.  They follow the writings of a guy who told them to fight UFOs and battle invisible demons.  Fine.  Don't flatter yourself.  No one cares.  Do whatever you want, but don’t get all pissy when people point out that your religion is laugh-out-loud stupid.  This school should be what they are, and the teachers should dress like MIB and Jedis and Star Fleet and walk real stiff like robots and make "beep beep boop" sounds.  Mostly because that would be awesome. 


SO GAY

By brendon June 30, 2008 @ 10:08 AM

Lindsay Logan still hasn’t publically commented on her lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson, although the two were again caught holding hands when Lindsay left the set of her movie "Labor Pains" yesterday.  Samantha should be ashamed of herself.  Lindsay Lohan is not gay.  She’s just lonely and fucked up.  It's like when I have sex with 8 models at once.  It’s a cry for help. My heart aches for true love.


ANNE HATHAWAY IS A SNITCH

By brendon June 30, 2008 @ 6:34 AM

Anne Hathaway's shady ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri has been arrested twice in the past 6 months, once for bouncing a $215,000 check and another time for pretending to be a representative of the Vatican and duping investors out of millions.  Just last week he was investigated again by they New York State Attorney General's Office for undisclosed reasons.  So how did the feds learn so much about him?  The New York Daily News says…

A pal of jailed wheeler-dealer Raffaello Follieri suspects Hathaway spoke with the FBI shortly before they arrested him for an alleged $6 million con job.
"It makes sense," the friend said. "She's referred to as his former girlfriend in the indictment even though her spokesman never confirmed they broke up."
Hathaway, who is not identified by name in the criminal complaint, split with Follieri shortly before his arrest last week. He is charged with posing as an agent of the Vatican to fleece investors out of millions.
"I think that in return for her cooperation, the feds held off on arresting Follieri until she was out of the country," the friend said.

They must do seaweed wraps at the police station because girls love talking to the GD cops.  They drag the police into everything.  Not saying this dude didn’t deserve it, just that’s its unsurprising if Anne turned him in.   Girls will call the cops if they see a bug or because Kelly is such a bitch, whereas a guy could accidentally parachute into an alligator farm and his first call would be to his friend to call him a fag.

WAS IT … MURDER!!!

By brendon June 30, 2008 @ 5:52 AM

Kazakh supermodel Ruslana Korshunova fell off the balcony of her New York apartment over the weekend and fell 9 stories to her death.  Just 20-years-old, she had appeared on the covers of French "Elle" and Russian "Vogue".  Her death has been ruled a suicided, but at least one close friend refuses to believe it.  The Sydney Morning Herald says…

Kira Titeneva, who described herself as Korshunova's "best friend", told the New York Daily News: "There's no way she would have killed herself. She loved life so much."
Ms Titeneva was also quoted in London's Daily Mail as saying: "I talked to her on Friday night and we were talking all the gossip."
Another friend told the paper that Korshunova, who would have earned around $5200 for a catwalk show, had been sending money home to her family in the former Soviet Republic of Kazakhstan and was "one of the sweetest, nicest people you'll ever meet".
The unnamed source told the paper the model had just returned from a modelling job in Paris and seemed "on top of the world".
"There were no signs. That's what's driving me crazy. I don't see one reason why she would do that," he said.
Korshunova's doorman, Mahmoud Nakeeb, was also quoted in the Daily Mail as claiming the model seemed happy when she came home about 4am on Saturday.
"She came in this morning, she smiled, no sense of depression," he said.

This is fucking sad.  This page is supposed to be empty, light-hearted nonsense but there’s nothing funny about suicide.  Unless you’re hanging yourself and all your kicking makes your pants fall down.  I think it would be okay to laugh about that.  “Holy cow,” I bet you would think, “this is gonna be one of those days.”

SCREW YOU RONALDO

By brendon June 27, 2008 @ 12:01 PM

Cristiano Ronaldo and his Spanish supermodel girlfriend Nereida Gallardo are still on vacation in Sardania, Italy, today, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that Ronaldo and his fabulous life can go fuck themselves.

(picture source = inf daily)



LINDSAY HAS A SECRET SISTER

By brendon June 27, 2008 @ 10:47 AM

OK! magazine says today that Lindsay Lohan has just discovered she has a 13-year-old sister, born when her father Michael was still married to her mother Dina but having a relationship with another woman.  OK says…

Michael Lohan, has admitted to OK! that, while married — but at the time separated — to now-ex-wife Dina Lohan, he had a relationship with another woman which resulted in a pregnancy.
In a statement to OK!, Michael says, "Years later [the woman] contacted me, convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child."
In fact, OK! has seen letters Michael wrote to the girl's mother where he says that his secret daughter "is beginning to look a lot like Linds, with a mix of [younger brother] Cody, believe it or not." He also sent his daughter a photograph of himself while he was still in Collins Correctional Facility which he signed "Love Daddy."

They say Michael has never met the girl or paid any child support, which is for the best.  The new kid could be raised on an island of pedophiles and it would be better off.  After screwing Lindsay up to the degree they have, Lohans shouldn’t be allowed to raise a cactus, much less a human being.

AMY WINEHOUSE IS CURED

By brendon June 27, 2008 @ 9:54 AM

Three days ago, Amy Winehouse left the hospital after being told that if she continued to do drugs and smoke and drink, she would die.  Amy didn’t do any sort of rehab, then walked out of the hospital and onto the path to salvation.  With a cigarette in her mouth.  Then yesterday she walked out of some London store with three bottles of alcohol in her hand.    What could possibly happen next.  I bet it's shocking.

MINI-ME’S SEX PARTNER IS MAD

By brendon June 27, 2008 @ 8:54 AM

Ranae Shrider is the woman who had sex with Vern Troyer in the now famous sex tape, and today she has broken her silence to say she’s furious that it got leaked.  Gee, no kidding.  Really, you didn’t want the whole world to see you get f’d by a goblin.  How surprising.  I’d be honored if my gf did that.  In fact I’d project the film onto the side of a mountain so the whole world could see a wooden toy come to life and rape my girl.  Splash News says…

Ranae Shrider has admitted she is furious that a sex tape featuring her and Austin Powers star Verne Troyer has appeared online. The 22-year-old aspiring model said about the sex tape: "Do I look like I should be smiling about this" after being spotted by the paparazzi having coffee in a Starbucks in LA. Shrider also admitted that she still lives with the 2ft 8inch star in the same apartment where the sex tape was shot. When asked when she had moved out, Shrider replied: "We still live together." Asked if she was going to profit from the release of the sex tape, Shrider said: "I don't know." Shrider claims that the home movie was stolen, and illegally distributed without her knowledge.

My gag reflex won't allow me to think about this for long, but just imagine you’re a girl, lying in bed naked and you look down and there’s a monster from a fairy tale looking up at you from between your legs, it's little tongue flicking against your clit.  I bet if you get her stoned enough, he could just crawl inside her and flail around.  I can’t be the only one who thinks this sounds more like something out of "Hostel" than it does a night of passion and intrigue.