pants are hard

By brendon April 28, 2009 @ 2:06 PM

You can’t see it in these but Lindsay is in Hawaii on her Blackberry looking up directions for pants.  The search is just showing her how to make pants or buy pants but that’s not the problem, she already has the pants, they're sitting on the floor in that guys room right where she left them, she just can’t remember how to get them on.  She tried chewing them but that can’t be right, can it?

(image source = wenn)

finally, the video

By brendon April 28, 2009 @ 12:20 PM

 I don’t know why I said “finally” because it’s not as if I cared, but the video for Katy Perrys song “Waking Up In Vegas” hit today (see it here), the video where she wore that kick ass top in the banner, and it showcases once again her unique talent for making huge natural tits boring and even somewhat annoying.  Sexiness can’t be taught.  Unless you attend my motivational workshop, “Sexiness Can Be Taught”.  For just 19 dollars (*1) and a few hours of your time, I (*2) will teach you the secrets to seduction!  Results guaranteed(*3)!  Se Habla Español.

(*1) plus a $481.00 processing fee.  (*2) or a personally certified instructor.  (*3) this is not a guarantee

julia roberts really likes profanity

By brendon April 28, 2009 @ 11:16 AM

Julia Roberts gave a tribute to Tom Hanks last night for the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and for some reason that required tons of scathing profanity.  The New York Daily News says…

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee," Roberts began. "So Tom, everybody f—–g likes you. All my bits are gone."
"Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson, Hanks' wife], and her t–s were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her a– was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the f–k?"
Of Hanks' 2004 flick "Ladykillers," she said, "I love the Cohen brothers, but the hair … I didn't even know what the f–k that movie was about!"

Of course the only part of this that got my attention was all the huge boob talk.  And I never noticed before but Toms wife does have quite the rack (1, 2, 3).  She looks like she could be Kate Beckinsales mom, which is probably way more flattering in my head than in real life.

hef wants holly back

By brendon April 28, 2009 @ 9:19 AM

It was early October when Hugh Hefner and Holly Madison officially broke up, but really it had been over for about two months before that.  Still, Hef says in a new interview that Holly is the “love of his life” and  he’d welcome her back anytime.  Things like her current boyfriend and his current girlfriend don’t seem to be a problem.  Fox News says…

…the 83-year-old mogul still has super strong feelings for the 29-year-old pin-up. Hef told Los Angeles Confidential he’d welcome Madison back with open arms.
So where does that leave things with his new top squeeze Crystal Harris?
“How serious, and intimate, and important that works out to be, well we’ll have to wait and see because it’s only a couple months old,” Hef said.
(But) it doesn’t look like a reunion will happen any time soon.
“I loved my time at the mansion and think the world of Hef,” Madison (said). “There comes a time in everyone’s life where they need to go their own way.”

What a sad story.  Especially when you consider that this (NSFW) is Crystal Harris (and this and this and this, all NSFW).  He’s gotten her huge implants since then, when she was Playboys Co-Ed of the Week in October, but so what.  She’s only 20, and he has to have sex with her.  So much suffering in the world, it can break your heart if you let it.

is that gollum

By brendon April 28, 2009 @ 6:20 AM

When you’re super pale and skinny and your bones poke out of your skin, it might not be the best idea in the world to crawl around over rocks near the ocean, like Lindsay did yesterday in Maui with her fug sister and one of the Hair Bears.  Someone is gonna throw a net over her if she’s not careful.  Like when I saw the thumbnail of this one of her and that cool ass dog I thought she had pulled a fish out of the water and was eating it. 

(image source = wenn)

COINCIDENTAL UPDATE – im positive no one cares but me but for the record i was an hour earlier (bam, bam)

mels woman might be pregnant

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 2:46 PM

Even though they had been drifting apart for years and she suspected him of having an affair, Mel Gibson's wife only filed for divorce after hearing that Mel had gotten his girlfriend pregnant.  The Sun UK says…

ROBYN, 53, ended their 28-year marriage after OKSANA GRIGORIEVA told pals she was expecting.
A source said: “Robyn put up with Mel for years but when she found out Oksana was telling friends she was expecting it was the last straw.
“Robyn wants a ‘quickie’ divorce, one that isn’t contested, with their assets divided later.”
Yesterday Oksana was spotted outside Gibson's mansion chatting on her mobile with what appeared to be a baby bump under her pink shirt.

This Robyn chick is a real buzzkill.  Getting pregnant is supposed to be a happy occasion, but Mel’s wife is too conceited to let someone else have the spotlight.  “That’s MY husband, I’M divorcing him because he’s cheating on ME.”   Oooooh, pardon us your majesty, sorry if someone else was the center of attention for two seconds.

this is gonna be a good movie

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 11:18 AM

The upcoming movie "Jonah Hex", starring Old Fashioned Megan Fox and presumably other people, is now filming in Louisiana, and since I don’t actually know what cowboy dancers or whatever it is she is wore to work back then, they’ve got the green-light to just go for it.  Just do it, put her in a white cotton dress and douse her with water.  This movie would make 100 billion dollars.  Honest to God, I’d throw myself down the stairs with a light bulb in my mouth to see Megan Fox naked.

brad pitt is cool

By brendon April 27, 2009 @ 9:46 AM

Brad Pitt is one of the most famous people on earth, but he went relatively unnoticed this weekend when he took his boys Maddox and Pax to Niagara Falls.  Probably because it’s Brad Pitt, one of the most famous people on earth, and he’s wearing a little 2 dollar poncho thing at Niagara Falls.  How cool is this dude?  Mariah Carey would damn and drain the entire thing before she did this while surrounded by 10,000 cameras.

(source =  the buffalo news)