Jasmine Waltz is in a bikini, has an amazing ass

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 5:41 PM

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Jasmine Waltz of course is the girl who was famous for a week last month because she was dating David Arquette when it was announced he and Courteney Cox were getting a divorce, and today she was at the beach in a bikini. And it… was awesome.

I know black guys will be like, “Cracka are you crazy? That ass is terrible. Ghosts are scary. Where’s my kool aid? Obama deserves two terms to implement his policies”, but Jasmine has one of the greatest asses I’ve ever seen. I know it’s a white girl ass, but I like white girls, so we’re all set here.

(source = pacific coast)

Britney had a romantic weekend with her boyfreind

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 3:51 PM

Britney Spears was in a yellow string bikini in Hawaii today

Even though Star said he’s a violent lunatic, Britney Spears spent a romantic weekend on the beach in Mexico with her boyfriend Jason Trawick, a move that might seem like a publicity stunt but that was actually planed long ago because last Thursday was her birthday (she’s 29).

People magazine says…

Last week, Spears’s camp denied a tabloid report that Trawick “beat on” her. And their intimate getaway, which included a private chef and a fridge stocked with fresh fruit, seemed to prove their point.
“They suntanned and did a lot of relaxing and decompressing,” says the source. “They seemed very much in love. ”
“When they landed, she got to the [private] villa and was blown away,” a source (says). “Jason had arranged a red velvet cake for her birthday.”

Oohh, that must be what they meant by “romantic”. Britney got cake. I just hope she doesn’t get confused if she’s ever in a fabric or hobby store. “Yes, hello, I was wondering if you had the kind of red velvet that goes in my tummy. Because I tried some of the red velvet you had on the roll back there, and it was very dry and tough to chew.”

Chelsea Handler called Angelina Jolie a “f***ing c***.”

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 12:02 PM

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Chelsea Handler (who was sleeping with the president of E when she got her talk show. which is on E. what a coincidence!) was in Mexico last week, spending her Thanksgiving vacation with new BFF Jennifer Aniston. Gee, I wonder what they talked about. Us.com says…

“(Angelina Jolie is) a homewrecker,” Handler, 35 (*), said.
“She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants. I don’t f***ing believe you. She gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Because you’re a f***ing c*** ,” Handler bellowed.
“You’re a f***ing b***h!”

7 years. It’s been 7 god damn years since Jolie was cast in Mr and Mrs Smith. And yet, here we are. What’s more likely, that Jolie seduced Pitt, or that Aniston is an unstable asshole and drove Pitt away. It’s not his fault she can’t keep a boyfriend. On the bright side, if that bitter old bitches pussy gets any more neglected and ignored maybe Angelina will adopt it.

(*) 35? seriously? jesus christ she might as well have said 18.

Amber Heard is a lesbian now

By brendon December 06, 2010 @ 10:39 AM

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Amber Heard was at the GLAAD 25th anniversary party in Hollywood this weekend, and that would seem to be a good place to do it if she wanted to tell everyone she’s gay. And so that’s what she did. And I would be all, “Oh my gosh that sure is surprising” if I could remember who Amber Heard was and if that was the appropriate response. Radar says…

Amber, who is Johnny Depp’s leading lady in his upcoming The Rum Diary, and who costarred in Zombieland and Pineapple Express … said she had to ask herself if by being closeted, she was part of the problem in denying “millions of hard-working, tax paying Americans” their rights.
Van Ree is a photographer and artist. She and Heard have quietly been together since 2008 but the GLAAD celebration was their formal coming out as a couple.
“She is beautiful,” Heard said of van Ree. “I mean, you’d have to be crazy not to want to go out with her.”

That’s actually a really really good point. Sex with girls is so great I’m amazed all girls aren’t gay. I mean I’ve never had sex but from what I understand it’s terrific. OH GOD I’M SO LONELY!

its Taylor Swift and the Sad Cartoon Turtle

By brendon December 03, 2010 @ 5:24 PM

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Us magazine
has a new picture of Taylor Swift and Maggie “the Sad Cartoon Turtle” Gyllenhaal out for completely spontaneous walk, just like the one Taylor had with her totally real boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal a few days ago. And just like before, they’re having so much fun laughing and pointing they didn’t even notice that photographer directly in front of them. They only have this one picture though, probably because the boom mic showed up in the other ones.

“Brittney Spears” has new audio

By brendon December 03, 2010 @ 4:19 PM

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If you don’t know, Radar Online and Star (and the National Enquirer) are all owned by the same company, so when you see that Radar and Star are saying Britney Spears gets knocked around by her boyfriend, it’s actually the same story with the same source. That would be Jason Alexander, who they refer to as Britneys ex husband, even though their marriage was annulled 55 hours after it happened. So he’s not her ex husband.

Point being, Radar now has new audio to back up Stars report that Britney told Jason that her boyfriend Jason Trawick hits her. This time she also adds that she gets high. She does not mention why she no longer sounds anything like Britney Spears.

On the new tape, Britney’s ex husband Jason Alexander also confesses to smoking dope and says: “You know I got the best pot in California if you really want to smoke.”
That candid admission is followed up with a reply where she admits “I smoked the (bleeping) joint and went back to bed.

I like how they censor out the profanity, but leave in the part where they slander a guy and say he beats his girlfriend. I would have just left in the curse word. Morally, you’re already on “empty”, you might as well just gun it.

Josh Duhamel was kicked off a plane for acting like an ass

By brendon December 03, 2010 @ 2:19 PM

Exclusive: Fergie And Josh Duhamel At The Dodgers Game

Josh Duhamel seems like a decent enough guy, but he’s married to Fergie so clearly he has deep psychological problems. And apparently he’s also a jackass who deosn’t think the laws of society apply to him, because yesterday he was kicked off a plane because he refused to turn off his BlackBerry. TMZ says…

Duhamel was on a flight from New York (when) the flight attendant asked Duhamel to turn off his BlackBerry before takeoff … but he refused.
Duhamel was “very rude” and “taunting the attendant.”
…the flight attendant asked Josh to turn off the device three separate times — and on the third time Josh laughed at her request.
Duhamel’s reaction infuriated the attendant, who then called for backup — and the plane, which was already on the runway, was turned back to the gate.
Two officers eventually boarded the plane and escorted Duhamel off of the aircraft.

In Duhamels defense, you really would think these planes would be BlackBerry proof by now, and if sending a text will spike the thing into the ground like a fucking lawn dart, maybe we don’t know as much about flying as we think.

Star is sticking by thier claim that Britneys boyfriend hit her

By brendon December 03, 2010 @ 1:26 PM

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In her only statement so far concerning claims made by Star magazine that her boyfriend Jason Trawick hits her, Britney Spears went on her twitter yesterday to say she was off to spend “a romantic weekend” with Trawick, then added…

“Star Magazine, Radar Online, Jason Alexander and the rest of you liars, Ya’ll can kiss my lily white southern Louisiana ass!” (editors note: Geaux Tigers!)

And Spears manager Larry Rudolph spoke to Access Hollywood and said, “Lawyers are amassing. We are 100 percent taking stern and immediate legal action.”

For their part, Star is defending their story, and today released the results of a polygraph taken by Jason Alexander, Brit’s childhood friend and the one and only source for these claims. (TIP: It gives everything more credibility if you ignore that they dont know how to spell Britney’s name.)

Q: Did you record a phone conversation that you had with Brittney Spears on (date not revealed)?
A: Yes.

Q: During that phone conversation, did Brittney Spears tell you that Jason Trawick had beaten her?
A: Yes.

Q: Did Brittney Spears tell you she suspected Jason Trawick of sleeping with (name not revealed)?
A: Yes.

Q: Did Brittney Spears tell you she had gotten pregnant by Jason Trawick and that she had an abortion?
A: Yes.

Q: Did Brittney spears tell you that she broke up with Jason Trawick because of his physical abuse and cheating?
A: Yes.

This still doesn’t make any sense because Trawick, although a handsome devil, is just her boyfriend. She’s a damn billionaire, she’s not trapped in anything, if she wanted to leave she would. And if her dad really knew as they claim then he would have done something. Or at least that’s what I would do. I administer street justice, each of my tats represents a kill!