and now we’re up to 4

By brendon March 25, 2010 @ 3:09 PM

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Sandra Bullock thanked Jesse James when she accepted her Academy Award three weeks ago, and he cried and smiled proudly, which made him look like a real scumbag in hindsight because it turns out he was banging some dirty whore the whole time.

Wait did I say “whore”? I meant to say “whores”.

Another Jesse James mistress has been discovered and this one has hired power attorney Gloria Allred!
The new mistress had a several year affair with James, she charges, that ended just recently.
And yes, there’s proof. Hundreds of text messages, emails and photos.
Allred said: “I represent a beautiful model and businesswoman. She had a three year intimate relationship with Jesse James.
“He pursued her and had strong feeling for her. She is in the process of trying to decide if she will come forward. She has proof of their relationship including hundreds of text messages, emails and photos. The relationship JUST RECENTLY ENDED after the scandal broke.”

Hopefully this new one is a brunette too because most of Tigers whores were blond and hair color is starting to be the only way I can remember which whore belonged to who. I’m sure this new one will be a real treat, just like Bombshell. No wonder Sandra is in hiding. One ugly girl has the fighting power of three pretty girls. It’s not like they’re worried about scars or anything. So Sandra is now outnumbered 12 to 1. She should probably move to Brazil or something.

sandra bullock had no idea

By brendon March 25, 2010 @ 1:47 PM

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As a third woman has now come out and admitted to having an affair with Jesse James while he was married to Sandra Bullock, People magazine is reporting that she was absolutely blind sided (see what I did there) by his infidelity, and truly had no idea there were problems in her marriage.

The friend says Bullock, 45, learned of her husband’s betrayal just eight days after her triumphant March 7 Oscar win.
“Her family was everything to her,” adds the friend.
Another pal tells PEOPLE that while Bullock completely trusted James, 40, he could show another side of himself when she wasn’t with him. “Jesse is such a chameleon,” says this pal.

I don’t mean to pile on but the dude is a jackass. Of course he was gonna do stuff like this. She should date a sweet little angel like me. People tell me all the time, “I bet you’ll never have sex with more than one girl.” And I apprec- hey wait a second. Aw they were insulting me, weren’t they? Aww god dammit.

hackjob squareass is back

By brendon March 25, 2010 @ 10:28 AM

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Ke$ha has been in Australia all week, and yesterday she and her shapeless ass made their triumphant return to the beach. Which is amazing because if I looked like this at the beach I would fight someone to the death if they tried to drag me there. My blood would streak the walls because I would claw at them as they pulled me by my feet towards the door, and I clung to the doorframe as if I was being sucked into a monsters mouth.

(image source = pacific coast news)

jennifer love chewit is an idiot

By brendon March 24, 2010 @ 5:07 PM

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I’m sure everyone has already been to NPR today, but if you haven’t, there’s a review of Jennifer Love Hewitts advice book on dating. And it’s every bit as dumb as it sounds. Keep in mind she just got dumped for like the 50th time. Nonetheless some masochist collected a few gems of romantic wisdom…

(From a list of “Strikes”. Meaning if a guy does these things, he’s not the right one) “He keeps saying ‘That’s so dumb’ when you’re talking.”

I don’t know how to break this to you honey but most people aren’t told “that’s so dumb” when they talk. Or at least not so often that they have to make rules about it. Seems like we should be writing an advice book for you. Chapter 1: Shutting The Fuck Up.

“This is embarrassing and personal, but once a month, since I was twelve years old, I go to my favorite jewelry store and try on my dream ring.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt is 31. So she’s been going to the same jewelry store every month for 19 years and wasting their time. Oh I bet they just love that.

(From the list of 20 Things To Do After A Breakup) “Make out with a stranger (he must be gorgeous or you’ll feel worse).”

“Make out”? What if you’re not 12, what then?

“Remember, your body is a temple, not a 7-Eleven.”

Temple? I think she means “tempora”.

(Two things every man should know is) “How to pick a diamond,” and “To always have a coat for you.”

Always have a coat? Was there a page missing between those two sentences? A coat? Coat? Like … at, at my house? Or give her my coat if it’s starts raining or something? Because if it wasn’t raining when we left, I probably don’t have a coat either genius. What do you think, my car makes coats?

grace park in a bikini ftmfw

By brendon March 24, 2010 @ 4:41 PM

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I’ve said it a million times but Asian chicks are the fuckin best. They’re little and skinny with long hair and really soft skin. If being a girl was an Olympic event, Asian girls would set the world record 35 times a day. ‘Battlestar Gallactica’ star Grace Park, seen here filming the new CBS version of ‘Hawaii 5-0′, is a perfect example. If you can think of a hotter girl than Grace Park, I’d love to see her, but since you live in fantasy land I’m not sure how you would contact me.

(image source = splash news online)

LeAnn Rimes and Tiger Woods? Sure, why not.

By brendon March 24, 2010 @ 3:44 PM

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Porn star Devon James will be on Opie and Anthony tomorrow morning at 7:30 to talk about yesterdays claim that Tiger Woods paid her and another girl for sex in 2007. That other girl wasn’t LeAnn Rimes though. She was way back in 2002. Us Weekly says…

“(They) went out a few times” before she wed soon-to-be ex-husband Dean Sheremet in 2002, says a source.
“They hooked up and everything,” the source tells Us. “Tiger was really into her. He likes those blondes!” (wwtdd editor note- Tiger likes anything.)
Alas, Rimes’ dad protested because he thought his teen daughter was too young to date the famed golfer, seven years her senior. “Then her dad almost had a heart attack,” the source adds. “And he made her stop seeing Tiger.”

LeAnn is 27 and Tiger is 34, so if my math is right, when they dated LeAnn was 11 and Tiger was 34. What a fuckin pervert this guy is! I haven’t been this outraged since that cunt Blackjack dealer claimed his Ace and King beat my 3 and 10. I was way closer to 21! His cards didn’t even have any fuckin numbers! Are we playing 21 or … um, Knighty … Acey?

ke$ha is kind of an idiot

By brendon March 24, 2010 @ 2:08 PM

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Ke$ha should have worn this cloak yesterday when she was at the beach, and spared everyone from seeing her shapeless and confusing square ass. Instead she wore it today to appear on Merrick, Dools and Ricki Lee, which is a massively popular morning radio show syndicated all over Australia (they have the Ke$ha interview up on their website).

If she’s trying to be like Gaga it’s not working. If you want to be shocking, you can’t buy your rock and roll clothes at the outlet mall.

jesse james has cheated more than once

By brendon March 24, 2010 @ 12:43 PM

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It was bad enough knowing the fat poser jackass Jesse James used to nail Janine Lindemulder and then married Sandra Bullock, who is worth 100 million dollars. Then we learned this cliche fag was cheating with a girl who, if nothing else, had to be awesome in bed. Now it turns out he was getting oral at work too, and not only that, he got it by using a line so lame, I’m shakin like Michael J. Fox from the douche chills. TMZ says…

a former female executive with West Coast Choppers settled a sexual harassment lawsuit against Jesse James and West Coast Choppers for more than $700,000 in 2007, while he was married to Sandra Bullock
The woman kept several suggestive emails from Jesse. In one email in 2007, which is included in the file, Jesse wrote to the woman, “Need anything before I split?” She responded, “Some Tums.” Jesse replied, “I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better ….”
And, she claims after an oral encounter with Jesse, she kept a telltale Clintonesque T-shirt.
The woman quit in 2007 and hired Gloria Allred’s law firm to represent her. No lawsuit was ever filed, but on September 27, 2007, the matter settled for $725,000.

“I have some special fluid you can drink”? God this dude is such a fuckin nerd. He dresses up like a tough guy and then plays make believe. He’s no different than the people who dress up as a wizard at the Renaissance fair.

Speaking of fashion, just so you know, the pictures below of jackass in the overalls were taken on the 20th, the 21st and the 23rd. Sure he could wear something else, but when he looks so handsome in these, why would he want to?

(image source = splash news online and inf daily)