Jessica Simpson in A Bikini

Jessica Simpson only seems dumb. Those giant tits in that bikini that doesn't come close to fitting just sold her twenty million in signature bangle earrings. She wore the cutoff jeans so media outlets around the world wouldn't even have to fumble for the Daisy Duke headline. It's all there. The complete giant Weight Watchers success story package. Fat girls tits, slender girl waist. That's how you move product. Those...read more

White Penis Don't Get None of That (VIDEO)

Khloe Kardashian has a talk show based on the fact that by sharing drinks with her also-ran celebrity guests, she can get them to open up and share stories you don't care about that you might otherwise never hear. The end result is Khloe gets lit and talks about her snatch and makes her guests super uncomfortable. Long-term unemployment is one thing, listening to a trainable with ass implants talk about the men her...read more

Caitlyn Jenner Ruins Women's Golf, More

Caitlyn Jenner has teed off in her first golf tournament. As a woman. Video of the event shows Jenner destroying the ball with no noticeable adverse effects from the implants or vehicular homicides. Sports domination was the inevitable conclusion of the transgender movement. Aspredicted almost fifteen years ago in the prescient blockbuster, Juwanna Mann. The WNBA will soon be comprised entirely of transgendered males....read more

Katie Knowles Disabled Plus Size Model

Katie Knowles has become the first plus-size disabled model in the United Kingdom. The implication beingthere exists anotherplus-size disabled model elsewhere. Or that this isn't weird. Wrong on both accounts. The precise point of a model is to represent anunattainable ideal. The perfect scoreon the SATs. The all-birdie round at Augusta.The Puerto Rican girl not holding achildat her high school graduation.You're...read more

D'Angelo Russell Making Friends

There's one rule of pussy hound club. D'Angelo Russell broke it when he secretly filmed his Lakers roommate Nick Young talking about boning a nineteen year old chick not his fiancee, Iggy Azalea. Nick Young goes by the moniker Swaggy P and watches E! television so you know he's an asshole before you even hear him talking like an asshole. Doesn't matter. Rules are rules. The tape got leaked to one of the growing number...read more

Halle Berry Joins Instagram

Halle Berry is one of the A-listers who had previously refused to join social media. It's like fronting commercials for shrimp ramen in Japan. You do it for the cash. You don't want your kids or your pastor to know. Social media exposure is the Tijuana donkey show. There's no pretending you're there as a scheduled part of your medical supplies convention free-day agenda. Halle Berry claimed she had no interest in...read more

Snoop Dogg Stoned Rescue And Shit Around The Web

One of LA's favorite late night wasted eateries, Roscoe's Chicken n Waffles is filing for bankruptcy. If only we knew a wealthy guy who was himself regularly checking into fried chicken at 2am. Snoop Dogg rides in like the waffle cavalry. (TMZ) Sarah McDaniel shows off her bare mid-riff. (Last Men On Earth) Rhianna is topless in her new music video. Big surprise. (Egotastic All-Stars) Kate Compton shows off her big...read more

Tulisa Contostavlos in A Bikini

This chick is too wild to be British. Her dubstep group was tolerable for the genre. She went and blew one of the two leads from the band in a leaked sex tape (giant cock POV warning, you can see HERE on XXX site) that broke up the band. She got convicted of assault for throwing punches at a blogger who wrote mean shit about her. She got caught up in some idiotic party drug import ring and most recently got loaded and...read more

Michelle Fields Brutalized

Breitbart reporter Michelle Fields has big hair and big tits and employsboth as tools in her journalist tool box. She's composed like a beauty pageant runner up. The one who pounds apple-tinis while bitching about Miss Costa Rica really being from Lauderdale.Fields claims that Donald Trump's campaign managerCorey Lewandowski grabbed her forcefully as he tried to prevent her from asking Trump a question on the campaign...read more

Elizabeth Turner Tits in Context

Elizabeth Turner had to exist so nobody could again say nothing good ever came out of Duke University. She's a Guess Girl.Which means thrice a year she has to attend a private mansion party where she leaves with her hair smelling like Hungarian ball sac. It's in the contract. Later paragraphs. The rest of the gig is pretty sweet. You get paidto be super slender and sexualizedfor female buyers in female magazines who...read more

Alexandra Daddario And Priyanka Chopra Baywatch Run

Baywatch ran on television for close to ninety-seven years. Longer in Germany and unincorporated areas of rural China. There was one single exceptional moment. When women with jiggling tits ran across the beach in slow-motion. The subsequent hour was a drop off the entertainment cliff. There's a consensus among people who think with their brains that the Baywatch movie just has to be super shitty. Dudes who think with...read more

Carmelo Anthony Hugged By Last Remaining Knicks Fan (VIDEO)

A little kid ran on the court in the middle of a Knicks game to hug Carmelo Anthony. Which means his parents told him to. Kids are impulsive, but not that impulsive. That's why thousands don't die in traffic daily or commandeer commercial airliners because flying seems fun. Rather than be appreciative of the rarefan left in New York, Anthony's concern immediately turned to personal security: I was shocked. I didn't...read more

Rob Kardashian Takes His Girlfriend to Work

Still chubby Rob Kardashian is now the official boyfriend of Blac Chyna. The duties are simple. Spooge into a warmed mason jar until Chyna's attorneys crack the legal matrix Kris Jenner uses to protect family money from her retarded children's scheming love interests. Andaccompany Chyna to work. Mostly strip clubs and Armenian bachelor parties. Rob skipped the family Easter church service to escort his girlfriend to...read more

Cindy Crawford and Caitlyn Jenner End Times

There's an Internet meme that Cindy Crawford is aging into Caitlyn Jenner. That seems like a slap in the face to all the craftspeople who worked so tirelessly on building Caitlyn. Two recent high end modeling shots. Who looks more fuckable? Lying to yourself is cheap. Men age more gracefully. Men with brand new tits that much more so. Lighting is super important. Shhh, Caitlyn.Sex is so much more intimate without...read more

Fuck You, Wes (VIDEO)

As a frontman for a rock band, it's critical to know what kind of drunk you are. There's rampaging on stage and fucking up lyrics but nobody gives a shit because you're totally insane. And there's inordinately sedated and rambling on loop about somebody maybe named Dan stealing your house. The latter won't get you a live-recording at Budokan. At a Puddle of Mudd show in England where such things still exist, Wes...read more