Karl Proves the Existence of Sexism (VIDEO)

By Lex November 17, 2014 @ 6:01 AM

Australian Today Show host Karl Stefanovic wore the same Burberry styled blue suit for an entire year just to prove that nobody gives a shit what anchor men wear on morning television while the same viewers regularly critique the women. Karl could’ve spent a year helping the Sydney homeless or pumping birdshot into those cane toads ruining the Outback, but wearing the same suit for a full year just felt like the perfect women’s studies thesis statement.

No one has noticed; no one gives a shit. Women are judged much more harshly and keenly for what they do, what they say and what they wear.

Excellent work, Karl. You’ve spent a year proving something we already knew. What Karl failed to highlight was that the entirety of superficial criticisms of his female co-host came from female viewers. Which proves two things. Women shit sexism for breakfast and Karl looks pretty fucking spectacular in that blue suit. Enough to flick your bean to while emailing nasty comments about that stupid whore in her new stupid fucking outfit Perhaps it’s time to prove the theory of gravity by dropping something dangerously heavy on your head.

Looks Like Dr. Huxtable Was Raping Chicks Back in the 80′s (VIDEO)

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 2:03 PM

Any man who rapes a woman deserves a bullet to the back of the head. Rape, date rape, forcing yourself on an eager beaver teen actress who agrees to hang out in your hotel room to learn the craft. Still wrong. As a general rule, if you have to drug a girl, just assume you’re doing something that deserves that bullet.

Barbara Bowman claims she was drugged and raped by Bill Cosby back in the 1980′s when he pretended to be her mentor, you know like successful guys in their 40′s do with attractive teenaged models and actresses. Whether or not she knew going by herself to man’s hotel room late night was a bad idea is relatively moot. Even the shockingly naive don’t deserve a Jell-O pudding pop forced up their hiney.

Barbara Bowman wants to know why nobody ever took her claims seriously, while now thirty years later everybody is finally labeling Cosby a rapist only after a Philly standup made Cosby is a rapist jokes onstage:

Only after a man, Hannibal Buress, called Bill Cosby a rapist in a comedy act last month did the public outcry begin in earnest.

She put ‘man’ in italics. That seemed like an unnecessary feminist reflex. Had other alleged victim Andrea Constand gone through with her accusations of roofie rape by Cosby back in 2004, you can bet it would have been a monster media story. Nancy Grace would’ve shit her pants and left it sitting there throughout the trial. But Constand took a suitcase full of cash and and a non-disclosure agreement instead so everything quieted down

I don’t doubt that especially thirty years ago it was difficult for a teen girl to get people to believe the beloved Dr. Huxtable raped her. Even more incredulous than the pastor dad from 7th Heaven made me touch his willy. But if I’m passing out unsolicited advice, take to heart the fact this predatory piece of shit is finally getting what’s due. It’s not what should’ve happened three decades ago, but not everybody gets to live to see justice served in any manner. That goes for man and woman.

Alyssa Milano Wants More Attention

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 12:57 PM

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Inserting yourself into a controversy that doesn’t actually exist is a tried and true way of receiving media attention. Alyssa Milano is complaining about the outrage over her breastfeeding pictures on Instagram while Kim Kardashian can pose naked and nobody seems to care.

Wait! I don’t get it. No disrespect to Kim but… people are offended by my breastfeeding selfies & are fine with her (amazing) booty cover?

I’m not sure any of that is actually true. Nobody but Star Magazine reading outliers gives a shit about shaming breastfeeding women anymore. Repeatedly posting pictures of yourself breastfeeding, that’s going to draw some comments. Most especially when half the world knows you as that chick who sued the Internet to shutdown topless celebrity photos. This in contrast to Kim Kardashian who half the world knows as a shameless porn star who can suck cash out of a man’s wallet by drafting air into her open twat from fifty feet away. What are people supposed to express when she appears naked in magazines? Shock and awe and only a semi-erection?

I’m pretty sure Alyssa Milano just said this to get attention and now I’ve given it to her so I feel like a schmuck. I’m going to imagine sucking on her tit and lay myself down for a nap.

Claudia Romani Understands Snorkeling

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 12:36 PM

Claudia Romani Wears A Yellow Thong While Snorkeling In Miami
I’ve always found snorkeling to be a blatant taunt to the fish that we evolved well past them some hundred million years ago. It’s like when rappers go back to their hood to capture some documentary footage and pretend they’re still bunking down in a tract home in Compton. You made it out, we get it, now eat us or move the fuck along. I’m probably reading into it too much.

Photo Credit: Splash

Bieber Got Some Splaining To Do And Shit Around The Web

By Jack November 14, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Lesbian midget doll Justin Bieber is being summoned back to Argentina regarding his entourage beating people up in a nightclub. I can’t wait for him to get put in an Argentine jail where he will meet Jesus… a big hairy dude named Jesus.

Read all about Bieber being The America’s Most Wanted. (TMZ)

Bored moms everywhere will be flicking their beans to the new Fifty Shades of Grey trailer. (Huffington Post)

Sara Malakul Lane shows off her covered topless body. (Drunken Stepfather)

Jennifer Akerman’s tits can be used as a floatation device in a hot tub. (Hollywood Tuna)

Kate Upton’s titties are featured in the Game of War-Fire Age trailer. (Popoholic)

Michelle Lewin’s ass is glorious. (The Superficial)

Charlotte McKinney and her underboob star in this Instagram pic. (COED)

Rob Gronkowski Probably Wants His Signature Back

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 11:49 AM

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What could possibly go wrong? That’s a question people really don’t ask themselves nearly enough. Old school companies hiring social media dipshits to get them into that Facebook and Twitter thing leave themselves particularly exposed to lack of foresight. Like whoever set up this New England Patriots Twitter promotion for being their one-millionth follower. Any Twitter handle that sent out their OneMillionPatriots hashtag got an automated retweet and a doctored photos with their handle name on the back of a Patriots Jersey and a big thank you from Rob Gronkowski. I’m in the middling intelligence range on a good day and I could see the potential flaw in this setup. I was thinking @MyCunnyTingles but some other genius with more malicious intent came up with @IHATEN1GGERS which was retweeted from the Patriots. I’m pretty sure that’s a number 1 instead of the capital letter I which fooled the simpleton bad words auto censor.

I’m not saying the Patriots should abandon their attempts to be hip and modern or to solicit interest from the kind of people who cream their Boston denim skorts from receiving a retweet. There are tons of kids graduating colleges today without any real job prospect. This fake work category of social media producer has created thousands of jobs for 20-somethings with dubious degrees and the sole skill of being active Facebook users. Still, whoever ran this one needs a swift kick in the shins and a job application for Denny’s swing shift server. Let just cut to the chase.

Brazilian Melon Girl Seems Fun

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 11:11 AM

Renata Frisson aka Melon Girl Has Fun In The Nude On Beach In Brazil
This Brazilian model Renata Frisson is affectionately referred to as Melon Girl in Rio where she promoted the opening of a nude beach. If you tried that nickname for a busty chick in American colleges or workplaces, you’d have alligator clips pinched on your testicles while you were shown photo representations of your grandma crying in heaven. Brazil seems like a more progressive land filled with nude beaches, ass surgery, and delicious foods made out of bean mash and fermented bananas. It’s amazing the country has a net migration outflow. Somebody obviously isn’t counting all the people climbing the fences to get into the slums at night.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Brandi Glanville Drinking In a Bikini For A Change

By Lex November 14, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

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Brandi Glanville claims she’s officially given up provoking fights with LeAnn Rimes, even though LeAnn remains a crazy slut who stole her husband. This comes after Glanville’s marketing intern determined she’s no longer getting any media play from the fake feuds. Given that Glanville still colon cleanses with a gallon of Stoli each morning, sticking to her word has to be considered iffy. Nobody should be held responsible for their behavior when their BAC is three times the threshold of imminent death. That’s not drunk, that’s pretty fucking impressive.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI