Lamar Odom Trotted Out Again

Kris Jenner routinely feeds stories to outlets such as TMZ and HollywoodLife posing as an anonymous inside source. The outlets post the anonymously sourcednonsense as an audience drawing exclusive. Like the North Koreans selling nuclear secrets to the Iranians in exchange for less mealy rice.This weekend Jenner incognito spitout a story that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom had a romantic dinner at Ruth's Chris...read more

Hulk Hogan's 130 Million Dollar Cock and Kesha Slavery Reparations on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #38 (AUDIO)

There's so much profanity in the world. Why not add a bit more. In this week's Last Men on Earth episode Matt and I exit our radical islamist bomb making enclaves to cover germane topics such as why Sumner Redstone's male nurse won't let him finish on hookers' faces, how Landon Collins of the Giants came to fuck babies into three women nearly simultaneously, and why modern America sports media are a bunch of pussy...read more

Candice Swanepoel Is With Child

Candice Swanepoel is pregnant. Just look at that fat ass. She got knocked up by the Brazilian model dude who started banging her when she got to Paris to start modeling at seventeen. Swanepoel was smart enough to earn herself a sweet nest egg before making a baby with a male model. They age like golden retrievers. Your children will be gorgeous. They will haven nothing but fond memories of their father. Bisexual isn't...read more

Gemma Atkinson in A Bikini

British TV chicks get away with being far less anorexic and paler than their American counterparts. The Emmy Awards auditorium smells like vomit and spray tan. England is more practical. Maybe it's all the bombs Hitler dropped. Or the thirty-nine percent transvestite rate. They covet thick chicks with big tits like men in the U.S. talk about how they want to bang a ninety-five pound chick who lives off celery juice...read more

Amy Adams Tits and Olivia Wilde Bush, It's the Mr. Skin Minute (VIDEO)

My ass used to be enslaved to SpinMedia, which was fucking horrible. They spent like Bernie Sanders not using other people's money. Now I'm in deep to the guys who own Mr. Skin. Which is superior because they trade in tits. I don't know what's going on with the dollar or the yen, but the tit has appreciated every year since forever. Ask Kate Upton how much they're currently worth. Each Friday we'll be tuning you into...read more

Bar Refaeli Is A No Show And Shit Around The Web

Hottest Jewess ever Bar Refaeli is five months pregnant...but you seriously can't tell. I guess that's what probably happens when you don't eat. Can a fetus live off of cigarettes and Diet Coke? I came out okay. Hopefully her tits start showing soon. (TMZ) Pam Anderson dons the red swimsuit again and it reminds me of boners past. (Last Men On Earth) Summer is right around the corner and so is bikini season. (Radass)...read more

Teresa Giudice Prison Wifing Well

Teresa Giudice capitalized on her less than a year in prison for bankruptcy fraud by writing a tell all book about being the nine-thousandth pudgy Jersey girl in designer jeans to go to prison for grifting. She saw two women fooling around. Also, somebody stole her toothbrush, the food was old bologna, and the hot water rarely worked in the showers. So, every budget sleep-away camp ever. I just saved you $19.95. Her...read more

Bella Thorne Fuck Face

Getting a tattoo isn't a story. Getting a tattoo while showing off your tits and making fuck faces at eighteen, that's a story. This chick may be the absolute perfect digital age star. Have you heard what she has to say about the Presidential election? That's right. Nothing. She says nothing about nothing except gentle humble brags about her endless flow of low cut Spandex photos. Do my tits look too big in this tank...read more

Alessandra Ambrosio Make-Up Free

Alessandra Ambrosio is being lauded for taking her son shopping without wearing any make-up. Every seventh day models have to let their acne riddled skin go fallow. More noteworthy is the absence of her kid she took shopping. She might be tracking him on GPS. He's almost four. Time to grow up. In Brazil he'd be on his third off the tax rolls job by now. Look at those long fucking legs. She can make more.read more

Ted Cruz Sex Scandal Seems Vaguely Off-Putting

The National Enquirer is reporting and or just making up that Ted Cruz banged five women not his wife. Immediately below that headline in the same copy Blake Shelton is banging nine women not Gwen Stefani which snuffs their own lede. Everybody who dislikes Ted Cruz because he speaks like the teacher you hated most in your life is quick to point out that the Enquirer was right about John Edwards and a couple other...read more

Madonna Stealing Parking

There are 1.6 million people living on the island of Manhattan. There are three parking spots. Madonna decided she needed more reserved spots for visits from her Kabbalah rabbis and Moroccan dancing boyfriends so she put up fake NO PARKING signs in front of her forty million dollar townhouse and spray painted the curbside yellow. She's not the first rich grifter to figure out this ruse. She might've got away with it...read more

Selena Gomez Bikini Piano And Shit Around The Web

It's unclear why Selena Gomez is playing piano in a bikini other than Selena Gomez not in a bikini doesn't get viewed 800,000 times. Val Fit shows her butt in a sexy shoot in Cali. (Last Men On Earth) Selena Gomez tickles the ivory in a bikini. (Drunken Stepfather) Kendall Jenner in a bikini because Kendall Jenner. (Popoholic) Frances Bean Cobain divorces the dude that looks just like her dead dad. (TMZ) Bras should...read more

Chelsea Handler Birthday Present

Chelsea Handler took a naked shot of herself and posted into under the guise of a 40th birthday present for Reese Witherspoon. It's unclear what Witherspoon was supposed to do with the photo. After her husband refused to tribute it, she buried it beneath the stacks of cards she received from prison inmates. Handler continues to be popular to almost hundreds of thousands of women who enjoy white wine to the point that...read more

Kayla Harrison Is How We Beat the Bombing Muslims

This is the chick we want fighting ISIS. She won the first ever U.S. Olympic gold medal in judo coming off a torn MCL. Her kiddy judo coach sexually abused her. He's missing now. Look at that mug. By the time she drops the smile, your spine is already severed. Gay Barry Diller's cloning guy in Korea can whip up a couple hundred Kayla Harrisons by next Tuesday. Belgium thought free smokes and government hummus would...read more

Novak Djokovic Humped The Third Rail

If you want to piss off the logical side of your brain, read the drivel that major sports outlets publish these days on women's sports. It's opinion wrapped in omitted factssupported entirely by a desire to be politically correct. Men's tennis playerNovak Djokovic fucked up this week when he mentioned that men should maybe get paid more than women in the sport since the men's sport brings in more revenue via tickets...read more