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I Feel Bad for Kelly Osbourne

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

There’s no worse feeling than feeling bad for somebody else. This sympathy shit is meant for people with real human emotions, like people who cry when they see puppies or cut off their nads to prevent overpopulation. But even... READ MORE

Amanda Bynes Looks Different

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Amanda Bynes has been the 7-Up to Lindsay Lohan’s Sprite for the past year or so, except while Lindsay has tried desperately to convince people she can still act, Amanda just said, “Fuck it” and retired to a life... READ MORE

Snoop Dogg, Err, Snoop Lion, Tells Us Some Funny Shit (VIDEO)

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

I don’t have a strong desire to cozy up to celebrities. Most of them smell like Altoids and the quiet desperation of short people. But Snoop Dogg happens to be one of my idols. Where else but in America... READ MORE

Selena Gomez Is The Greatest

March 11, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

According to people who listen to really shitty pop music, that above video of Selena Gomez and girls that she makes out with in my brain is what some people call a “diss track”. The intended target of Selena’s... READ MORE

Why Do Celebrity Dudes Get Married?

March 9, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Demi Moore just filed for alimony support against Ashton Kutcher in their divorce proceedings. Since Demi Moore is worth a boatload of cash, take this legal move as a big fuck you to Ashton who cheated on Demi with... READ MORE

Lisa Rinna Turning 50 (or 37 on the Plastic Surgery Index)

March 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Has it really been twenty years since Lisa Rinna was on all those shows that I never watched? You couldn’t tell from looking at her that she’s turning 50 in a couple months. Even those brand new nipples on... READ MORE

Tit-Poured Liquor: Genius or Just Genius?

March 9, 2013 | crowd favorites | editor| 0 Comments

Fucking Germans, they invent all the good stuff first. Like the car, and the flame-thrower, and top shelf liquor bottled after being poured over the breasts of hot women and collected in glass basins beneath their bodies. It’s hard... READ MORE

Nina Agdal Bikini Pictures Will Lift Your Spirits

March 9, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Sure, you could pretend you care about Nina Agdal. What’s her story? What are her hobbies and interests? Does she like to run the bathtub spigot intermittently over her honey patch as she rubs her body with a soapy... READ MORE

Elisha Cuthbert Happy Endings Out in the Desert

March 9, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If Elisha Cuthbert isn’t in your tug vault, then it’s time for a banking audit. So fucking hot. As she was back in 24 as the teen with the boobs that were always in trouble, to turning boys into... READ MORE

Emma Watson Is A Grown Up Hottie In “The Bling Ring”

March 9, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

You know you’ve been waiting for Emma Watson to grow up and be the sexpot she was born to be since you saw her in Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. That way you don’t feel like such... READ MORE

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