Aaron Carter Wants To Bang Boy Body

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chloë Grace Moretz is not winning the war when it comes attracting unquestionably heterosexual men. After Brooklyn Beckham ditched Madison Beer to get back with Chloë is was clear that he’s into ugly women who look like pretty men. 

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Female Comedian Creates Safe Space For Women; Bans All Boys

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Since the definition for racism was recently redefined and victims of it aren’t eligible to identify as oppressors themselves because they lack systematic power comedian Iliza Shlesinger decided to redefine sexism under the same guidelines. 

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Sometimes You Just Crave A Chance to Cry Islamophobia

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Philip was attending church near one of the royal castle’s when he spotted a man with an unusually long beard, and turned to ask his bodyguard, “Is that is a terrorist?”

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Mariah Carey’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Performance Review — IN ADVANCE

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Here’s my review of Mariah Carey’s performance, several hours before it happens:

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CNN Drove a Stake Into New Year’s Heart

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In order of the worst things to ever happen to New Year’s Eve, are, (1) the Garry Marshall movie named after the holiday, (2) CNN, and (3) whatever you drank that made you sleep with your buddy’s ugly sister.

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Khloe Kardashian Criticized For Preggo Workouts

December 31, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

The fear of getting fat inspired P90X workouts while at the end of her second trimester. She knows any Kardashian that treads in obese waters drowns from depression, loneliness and financial instability. Just look at Rob.

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Demi Lovato Mid-Level Cherry Tits If You Care

December 30, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

A few years ago Demi Lovato found some very specific bathing suit silhouettes that worked for her body type and ordered five thousand of each in different patterns and colors, and has been coursing out selfies in the tit-baring and waist-obscuring garb ever since. Her most recent one features a PLUNGING NECKLINE that shows off Lovato’s secrets to success, and while I’m not complaining, it’s just becoming a little predictable at this point. It’s just hard to believe that someone interesting enough to be an abusive coke whore would be so repetitive with her clothing choices.

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Colin Jost Wants ScarJo As A Wife

December 30, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

A man wanting to be with a woman forever who puts him behind her career and kids isn’t exactly an Einstein when it comes to making the smartest decisions regarding relationships. But Colin Jost loves scraps and Scarlett Johansson.

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Ariel Winter Dove Girl Audition And Shit Around The Web

December 29, 2017 | crap around the web | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan bikini snake bite survivor (DrunkenStepfather)

Guess the celebrity robe upper thigh goodness (TMZ)

Texas dad finds his 13-year old son boffing his teacher in the back of her car! (CaseyAnthony)

Madison Beer maj cameltoe bulge (TaxiDriverMovie)

Ariel Winter embraces curves (Egotastic)

School Of Rock chick nipple bonanza (EgotasticAllStars)

Bella Thorne in retro lingerie (Popoholic)

Boobtastic Kimberly Garner for president (HollywoodTuna)

Top Ten Oscar Actresses Nude (Mr.Skin)

Alyssa Milano pale nips for birthday (Fleshbot)

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Kanye Buys Kim Stocks For Christmas

December 29, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

It’s hard buying Christmas gifts for a woman who has ridden a carousel of athletic and musical cock on her way to the top but Kanye West may have found her the perfect gift that keeps on giving. 

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