Heidi Klum Adding Ass

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 12:49 PM

Heidi Klum Big Booty Halloween Costume
Halloween is a  time for Heidi Klum to escape the doldrum of being tall and hot and rich and having a young male fuck toy and eleven extremely well behaved kids or so the nanny reports indicate and just be somebody else for one night. Heidi’s going as some kind of enlarged ass and tit celebrity. Perhaps Nicki Minaj or maybe a Kardashian. If she dons black face we’ll hear about it everywhere but in the German papers. When you get so big selling sex that you can mock other people who sell sex you know you’ve arrived. That’s stone cold fahrvergnügen.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Stripper Aziah King Tells A Story On Twitter

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 12:33 PM

Hooter's Girl Aziah King Tells A Story On Twitter \
Twitter desperately tries to pretend it’s a social network and not a broadcast network for high profile celebrities and companies to sell shit. So, TV. Every now and then some average joe or black stripper chick breaks out on Twitter with content that goes viral. Like Aziah King whose multi-tweet ebonic tale of road tripping to Florida with a white hoe was lauded as the next great American novel. It might be. There are black pimps and dead bodies and drugs and sex and it feels very real, because it likely is.

What does this say about Black American culture? Nothing worse than the Kardashians and Mama June say about the pale faces. Everybody likes to pretend they have good taste. Nobody does. We’re all fucking animals.

Photo Credit: Twitter

El Bieber Es Un Pendejo And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 29, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Justin Bieber began acting like little bitch and threw a temper tantrum when asked to participate in some pranks on a Spanish radio show. He eventually stormed out like a little girl on a heavy flow day. What a twat.

Read all about what set her off. (TMZ)

Giselle Bundchen shows off her luscious ass. (Last Men On Earth)

Marta Bez gets greased up and topless for Interview Magazine. (Egotastic All-Stars)

Who wants to look at some braless ladies? (The Chive)

Melissa Benoist has a super tight ass. (Popoholic)

Lindsay Lohan’s sexy cat costume gave my eyes herpes. (Drunken Stepfather)

Taylor Swift countersues the radio DJ that honka honkaed her ass. (Dlisted)

Lindsay Lohan Mus Musculus

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 11:48 AM

Lindsay Lohan Goes As Sexy Mouse For Halloween Party In London
Lindsay Lohan gears up for Halloween around mid-March after she wakes up from New Year’s. It’s a brutal schedule, but Halloween is her favorite holiday. In her newly adopted home of London she went as a mouse you might like to fuck after a couple or three spiked ciders. Lohan got heavily into character and ate nothing but moldy cheese out of the dumpsters where she slept for seven weeks leading up to the evening. It’s unclear if the blood from her mouth is part of the costume or that’s just fucking blood coming out of her mouth. Make that six ciders. Don’t meow when she’s in character if you’d like to keep your dick.

Photo Credit: Getty

Timebomb Kid Already Missed

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 10:29 AM


It seems like just yesterday everybody spent eleven seconds before declaring that tinkering little rapscallion clock maker in Texas the Rosa Parks of fake time bomb looking surprise school science projects. About eleven seconds later everybody conceded that Ahmed Mohamed wasn’t so good at electronics but was pretty fair at manipulating a willing media and the political correct who get itchy when they fact check. Ahmed’s invite to the White House couldn’t be rescinded by the time his story started stinking because that would force the President to admit he maybe was rash. Next time take an entire hour before praising a kid whose family collected some serious fundraising booty on the back of a prank. The White House did the next best thing and invented an astronomy night, ordering up dozens of high school science nerds to blend in with Mohamed. Only this one picture exists of the entire evening. The rest were buried next to the Ark of the Convenant in the DoD warehouse.

Mohamed and his family ditched the Great Satan for Qatar shortly after the White House visit claiming the more accepting and liberal landscape of that human rights violating Sharia law nation. That cuddly little jihadi Doogie Howser will be missed. I’ll think of him every time somebody mentions how fucking stupid and naive our leaders have let themselves become. Daily. Seeing you effectively run ISIS someday will only make me more wistful, Ahmed.


Lena Dunham Is New York’s Fault

By Lex October 29, 2015 @ 6:52 AM


You look at this squirrelly self-satisfied jelly roll and her mediocre talent and her bold literary tales of fingering her little sister and wonder who the hell is backing her? It’s New York. In certain parts of the city, the parts that matter in terms of media influence, she is invoked like Jesus at a Huckabee family reunion. New Yorkers love to hype their multicultural international immigrant United Colors of Benetton We Pals PBS melting pot. It’s all bullshit. New York is a roughly assembled federation of disparate clans the whitest and most assuredly self-righteous among them adoring Lena Dunham as cutting edge and fresh. Smell her. That’s not fresh.

Hearst Media who owns all the major women’s fashion and style magazines just signed up to market and distribute Dunham’s greasy fingered feminist blog, Lenny to its millions of readers. Dunham actually mocks much of that shopping elite culture, but she’s so hip about it, it circles back on itself and makes everybody believe they’re in on the joke. They’re no more in on her shtick than they are the last donut in the box once her mollusk like stomach extrudes through her fat mouth and starts externally digesting the pastry.

New York, this is on you. Tokyo took Godzilla even if they did kind of blame the U.S. nukes. Own up. Line up the model tanks. Take out your monster.

Photo credit: FameFlynet

Tila Tequila Is Still A Moron And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 28, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Tila Tequila, that pint-sized conspiracy loving cum sponge, tweeted a pic of her kid dressed like Hitler. Doesn’t she know she’ll be the first one thrown in the showers by her kids future final solution.

Check out little Adolf Tequila. (The Superficial)

Sylvie Meis in a thong will make your day. (Last Men On Earth)

Kylie Jenner wears super tight stretch pants because what else has she got going for her? (Egotastic)

Does anyone else think Taylor Swift looks like a less sexy Big Bird? (TMZ)

Behold Alessandra Ambrosio’s legs! (Popoholic)

So, I guess Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are not back together now? (Dlisted)

Twin Peaks raises money from breast cancer with the help of tits. (Busted Coverage)

Chloe Grace Moretz Bikini For “Neighbors 2″

By Lex October 28, 2015 @ 11:26 AM

Chloe Grace Moretz Bikini For Neighbors 2
Everybody laments silicone Hollywood, but it pales in comparison to the disappointment in finally seeing an actress in a bikini and realizing she has no breasts. It’s like visiting the zoo when the lions are sleeping. You can tell me they’re there but I can’t see them. All I know is my kid is crying and this place smells like dung. It’s okay son, we can come back tomorrow and try again. The tits, not so much luck. In the meantime, here’s the sequel to a super mediocre movie. I don’t get why Seth Rogen keeps working either.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet