"Get Out" Laughing All The Way to the Bank

Studios have submitted dramas with comedic overtones to the comedy category before. Maybe the categories need to be a little more fluid like gender in 2017 because who doesn't want to watch a 10 hour award show. read more

Jessica Chastain Grounded As Ever For Town And Country

Those of you immune to the allure of the dour, out-of-touch, and man-like Jessica Chastain are going to be all over her new spread for Town & Country. The magazine originally dedicated to documenting the going-ons of inbred rich Southern debutants who procured their... read more

Kevin Spacey Used the Old Vic to Service His Dick

If you're a pedophile, you pursue the ice cream truck or librarian assistant industries. Dudes with Napoleon complexes who still want hot tail get into rock. If you love young man meat, you start a theater company. read more

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Gal Gadot of the Year and Shit Around the Web

Hotties eating at In-N-Out, Naked Queens, and More! read more

Dean McDermott Headed to a Fate Worse Than Sex With Tori Spelling

Dean McDermott's calling in life seems to be making babies. It's not a bad gig if you can get it, especially if you never have to pay for them.  read more

Christian Slater and the Case of See You Next Tuesdays

Christian Slater’s preferred hobbies include playing Rami Malek’s dead dad on Mr. Robot and calling London located editors of The Daily Beast “salacious cunts.” Toxic masculinity is a sensitive subject right now.  read more

Sandra Lee Thankful For Her Sucky Childhood

Poor people sure do brag a bunch once their bank account allows them to eat food they didn’t have to dumpster dive for. read more

Dancing With the Stars Screwed Coma Girl (VIDEO)

If you're closely following Dancing With the Stars, you're likely a fan of cock or cats, but not the both. It's a succinct means to explain the demo. You also witnessed one of the worst off-script moments in unscripted television. read more

Nicki Minaj Maybe Dents The Internet A Little But Not Really

The Internet only suffered minor damage after Paper Magazine declared that Nicki Minaj would be following in Kim Kardashian's footsteps by breaking the Internet full stop with a new hypothetically buzz-worthy spread. Turns out it's not even worth filing an insurance claim... read more

Gene Simmons Is Pro Sex-For-Career Exchange

Using natural resources readily available to you is the best way to get ahead in life. The ROI of a vagina is outstanding. It could birth a baby or birth a lucrative career if used correctly.  read more

Mr. Bean Still Knocking Them up

I was unsure if Mr. Bean’s mouth worked until I heard him speak in a skit later on in life. It conjured the same feelings I felt when I learned Pikachu from Pokemon can now speak english as of a few day ago. read more

Kim Kardashian Takes Something Salty In Her Mouth For Publicity

As if this is even news, last night Kim Kardashian took a salty load in her mouth for publicity in front of the cameras. Wild. read more