Kim Kardashian: 'I Know I'm Going To Heaven' (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian still thinks we care about the time she was robbed at gunpoint in Paris. If it even happened. This will be our generation's moon landing. Right up there with A-list Lyme disease cases. The former porn star and current transitioning centaur took to Ellen to... read more

Abigail Breslin Uncounted Rapes and Kim Zolciak Unlimited Fame Whoring on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #84

On this week's Last Men on Earth podcast we wonder how crying rape became a de facto conviction, measure Kim Zolciak's fame prostitution among the elites of the land, critically review Serena Williams love letter to her muscular zygote, remind people who Brie Larson is... read more

Johnny Depp Looking for Work (VIDEO)

Johnny Depp has made a fortune on any number of big budget movies that largely haven't fared well at the box office. He annually ranks as one of the worst cost-benefit lead actors in Hollywood. He rakes on films whether or not they are the one in five of his movies that... read more

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Blood Letting at ESPN

ESPN laid off a hundred people in a story that was supposed to get everybody up in arms but it turned out everybody kind of went, meh, hockey. About half of the layoffs were on-air personalities, which meant a bad day for any number of former athletes with interchangeable... read more

Toni Garrn Topless And Shit Around The Web

Toni Garrn used that DiCaprio peen as a launching pad for greater modeling fame and fortune. In-kind payments are truly the best.Especially since Paypal won't cover transactions in the sex worker industry. read more

Melissa Benoist Is Your Super Girl

There are some fifty comic book TV shows slated for current or potential production on the small screen. Presuming each is not geared for an entirely different demographic, there's some number of people who are watching a shit ton of these caped dramas with CGI fireballs... read more

Phoebe Price, Plan D

Google quotes for the word "persistence" and you're bound to find tons of Tony Robbins type motivational slogans. It's merely another word for stubborn. That breaks down quickly into unbreakable winner and unbearable loser. read more

Heineken Ad Unites Adversaries Over Pissy Beer (VIDEO)

Heineken is following in the footsteps of Pepsi by getting political in a new ad part of the #OpenYourWorld campaign. They couldn’t afford Kendall Jenner. Instead we have outspoken Guy Ritchie movie randos with divisive political opinions. read more

Caitlyn Jenner Conflicted

Caitlyn Jenner has been proclaiming her former himself to be a staunch Republican for the past several years. It's really going against the grain. Not as much as having multiple wives and children and then chopping your dick off, but it appears to be a pattern. read more

Kourtney Kardashian Ass On Instagram

Kim Kardashian went too far with her ass. Medical curiosities aren’t sexy. But she could fetch a pretty penny at a turn-of-the-century circus sideshow. So could Khloe. Serena Williams dreams of having Khloe shoulders. That leaves us with Kourtney Kardashian. read more

Madonna Old Ass Buffoon (VIDEO)

Universal has picked up a script called Blonde Ambition, about Madonna's early days as an up and comer in New York City, nude modeling, sleeping in gutters and whatever else happened in the movie she based her life on. read more

Al Pacino Bangs a Chick Half His Age for His Birthday

There comes a time in a man's golden years when he wants to quietly reflect upon his professional and personal adventures and take in some tobacco in a chair overlooking the ocean. If you can afford it, you also want to fuck an Argentinean model chick half your age.... read more