By Lex November 20, 2015 @ 8:30 AM
The Duggar family plane flew through dangerous winds to retrieve Josh Duggar from the Christian addiction center for really noteworthy moral hypocrites. Duggar has been at the center in Rockford, Illinois since being outed over the summer in the Ashley Madison subscriber leak. Duggar confessed that he didn’t just like porn, he fucking loved it, and acted out porn fantasies with paid hookers because there are no free hookers. Considering his last big confession involved fondling his little sisters and their friends during sleepovers, his rabbit fucking adult female prostitutes was seen as a mixed blessing.
The Reformers Unanimous facility focuses on healing the Christian Craigslist casual encounter types by way of hard labor, dedicated bible study, and just a touch of electric shock during commencement week to reinforce classroom learning. Duggar’s windstorm departure half way through the six month program wasn’t violating any rules of the unlicensed rehab facility as participation is entirely voluntary. Although it was disappointing to the guy who applies the alligator clips to your nads:
RU’s goals are graduates, not students. We wish that people would stay to finish – but sometimes they chose not to.
There are many rules, all of which are necessary to create an environment of spirituality and seeking God. The majority of people who leave just don’t like other people telling them what to do.
Duggar is now back in Arkansas facing a lawsuit from a porn star hooker who claims Duggar fucked her too hard. With Jesus at your side, there’s no reason you can’t get through this, Josh. Wait, why is Jesus ten paces back and wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache?
Photo credit: Getty Images
By Lex November 20, 2015 @ 7:32 AM
Adam Levine is working really hard to win his 20th high school reunion. The nearly full sleeves and back tats might be the kicker to show all the bullies from the upper middle class burbs he won’t dance for them any longer. Levine’s newest ink is the mermaid on his back holding a skull representing his gay cohort from sleep-away camp he wishes would go away forver. You can’t really see what some dude is inking in the middle of your back unless you’re checking yourself out in the mirror, or hitting the Ariel club and having a fellow merman describe it to you. If I’m the tattoo artist I’m tempted to ink ‘big fucking loser’ on Levine’s back and assure him it says ‘son of neptune’. When he finds out, you’ll never work again, but he can never take off his shirt in public. It’s a push.
Photo credit: Adam Levine/Instagram
By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 2:17 PM
Every now and then, or every few minutes, the worlds of celebrity and politics and major media collide in one shitstorm of dead Parisians or Caitlyn Jenner award shows. Charlie Sheen gets the disappearing AIDS and college kids raised on fake awards and judgement free parents demand an emotional safe campus. It’s all happening this week in the Last Men on Earth podcast.
Be sure to follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and on the LastMenonEarth.com. Also hit us up on iTunes. Then write something nice. Will it kill you? It might. Not everybody gets to fade out with Khloe Kardashian’s pussy mercy suffocating their comatose body.
By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 12:28 PM
Kourtney Kardashian showing off where bastard babies come from encapsulates everything that’s wrong with Kardashian media content. It’s porn with far too much yapping between the money shots. Nobody wants to see Emmanuelle exploring erotic fabrics in Bangkok for an hour and a half anymore. I got five chubby black dudes and a girl in a mask good to go for a three minute Xhamster video. Stop cutting in divorces and tranny paternity issues betwixt my titty shots. Kourtney writhing naked on the ground is your Oscar.
Photo Credit: “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” Promo E!
By Jack November 19, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Kylie and Kendall Jenner launched their new clothing line Kendall+Kylie this week. Ten percent of every purchase goes toward beating the underperforming child seamstresses God hates enough to force produce this crap.
Great, now they are going to have even more money. (Popoholic)
Ashley Benson displays her tits for Flaunt Magazine. (Last Men On Earth)
Lexa Shevchenko topless, wet, and hot as fuck. (Egotastic All-Stars)
Christie Brinkley is sucking on John Mellencamp’s chili dog. (TMZ)
Her name is just Elizabeth and she is just naked. (Drunken Stepfather)
These are the worst “literary” sex scenes this year. (The Chive)
Giada De Laurentiis’ tits are molto huge. (Hollywood Tuna)
By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 11:44 AM
Jennifer Lawrence’s gender pay gap whining can be blamed on Lena Dunham and her goose gobbler fat feminist blog. Cookie Puss cajoles female celebrities to invent victimhood bones to get in her gang. Peer pressure is a bitch. Try this cigarette, listen to Pantera, pen an essay about how you’re being ripped off at only ten million for eight weeks of work. The Hunger Games part inane is out which means seven tractor trailers full of cash will be backing up to Lawrence’s driveway to drop off her oppression pay. Bradley Cooper is breathing a sigh of relief. That was getting awkward. It’s not that rich people can’t openly complain about their income inequality, it’s just sometimes prudent to ask yourself, would a Syrian refugee Facebook Like my problems?
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Getty
By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 11:08 AM
Jenny McCarthy is irate that Charlie Sheen didn’t disclose to her that he was HIV positive while she had kissing scenes with him for the 2011 season of Two and a Half Men. McCarthy claims in her private life she has all of her potential sex partners test for HIV before becoming intimate. A solid practice if you’re dating high risk gay men and you’ve missed all the condom billboards around town. McCarthy says she understands that you can’t get HIV through kissing like you can when your kids get vaccinated for polio.
‘I look back and I’m like, ‘OK, that would have been some valuable information.’ I mean, look how many people have played his love interest on the show.’
Can you get the AIDS from playing somebody’s love interest on TV or not? Now I’m just confused and I have auditions for a Latin telenovela. What would you have done with this information? Turned down the one and only network gig you ever had? Think about your answer, you’re about to be curb stomped by the LGBT lobby.
Photo credit: CBS/Two and a Half Men
By Lex November 19, 2015 @ 10:22 AM
This is a rare photo of this British model where Jason Statham doesn’t have his arm firmly wrapped around her neck like she’s figured out where he’s hidden her passport and has a cohort from the shelter ready to help her escape. Having a younger girlfriend everybody wants to fuck isn’t for everybody. Like insecure bald men with tempers. The upside is you get some world class model pussy. The downside is you’ve lost all your friends and you can no longer take your girlfriend to visit your dad. He’s in his 70′s, he can masturbate in the hallway, fuck what everybody else thinks. Put your money away, sweetheart, it’s enough to know you’re recycling.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet