Kemp Muhl See Through Dress

By Lex October 02, 2015 @ 9:23 AM

Kemp Muhl See Through Dress For NYC Premiere
You have to give credit to attention seeking women who are still figuring out new and coquettish ways to show off their naked bodies in public without appearing to be trying. Do you know who Kemp Muhl is? You do now. You can see her tits and the birthing parts Sean Lennon sobs into each night when he realizes he’s not even the most semi-modestly musically talented Lennon offspring. Reality can choke the fantasy right out of you. Does that dress come in a size Fuck Me?

Photo Credit: Getty

Cry Gun Control, You Will Feel Better

By Lex October 02, 2015 @ 7:42 AM


Another day, another college shooting. Another cry for gun control by politicians and hashtaggers who have no actual ability to control guns. There will guns widely available in this nation for at least as long as anybody reading this post is alive. You think it’s impossible to deport eleven million illegals? Try rounding up 250 million guns and melting them in the giant furnace the EPA never approves. Just like Mexicans, they will make more guns and they will come back. We have Draconian prohibitions on recreational narcotics. We have tens of thousand of armed officers spending tens of billions of dollars a year to make sure that shit is never seen in this land. How’s that going? But, fuck, stand on the dead bodies and call for gun control you know wouldn’t work even if somebody White Outed the Second Amendment.

We can’t outlaw single mothers or dads who abandon their kids in utero or Internet chat room antisocial sickness or fucked up cowardly narcissists who correctly assume that mass murder is their only chance to be splashed all over TV like a Kardashian and are determined to reenact Columbine at the local community college for posthumous 24 hour coverage on cable news. We rightfully assume Al Qaeda and ISIS militants are irrational suicidal types hellbent on destruction and we annihilate them without hesitation from the sky because asking to meet at TGIFridays for unlimited apps and a friendly confab seems moot. We smudge them out like bugs. Yet we can’t accept the fact that we have bugs living among us who look kind of like us and who the neighbors will describe as quiet, but good kids. Americans have PBS and fat-free frozen yogurt universally available. We don’t have young men without fathers descending into madness and mass murderer worships on their blogs and websites and their basement rooms plastered with news clipping on their wall next to the guns and ammo nobody knows they possess because nobody cares.

There’s not a single one of these campus killers who couldn’t be pegged in a basic mental health eval a year before the killings. Say, by any chance, are you suicidally depressed about how life keeps handing you lemons? Have you noticed yourself collecting weapons lately to counter the massive conspiracy against you? Are you an 18-30 year old male with a history of mental illness in your family who never gets laid? Do you have detailed maps of the local learning institutions on your wall coded with squares and circles and the words ‘start the killings here.’ Do you own body armor and can you recite the names of previous mass shooting perpetrators cross indexed by name and date and numbers killed? Not a single one of these guys would ever make it to the gate at an Israeli airport just from visual eye and mannerism inspection. But complex problems require quick and futile solutions. Gun control. Also, more kids need the chance to go to college. We’re running out of targets.

Photo credit: Getty Images

ETA: My followup piece comparing Obama’s preferred method of death, cigarettes, to gun homocides on

Cailin Russo Lounges Topless

By Lex October 02, 2015 @ 6:49 AM

Cailin Russo Topless Piercing For P Magazine
When you’re made famous by association with Justin Bieber, there’s nowhere to go but up in the Game of Life. Pierce your nipple and keep your top off so the wounds can breathe. Law school is for suckers.

Photo Credit: P Magazine

Sarah Palin Fucked the Whole Damn Team But Who Will Fuck the Legless Model and Our Top 5 Most Hated People in the World on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #19 (AUDIO)

By Lex October 01, 2015 @ 3:48 PM

An amazing thing happens when you get a microphone and nobody tells you you can’t say that or shut the fuck up you’re being super rude. You start to become excessively rude and never shut the fuck up. I’d like to think of it more nobly as speaking truth to power. Whatever the fuck that means.

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast we get to the bottom of why Azealia Banks is a faggot’s best friend, try to figure out if it’s possible to make passionate love to a legless lingerie model, and most importantly announce our five most despicable people in the entire world so Beelzebub can put their name in to his Book of Future Souls. We get a lot done in an hour.


Thanks to our sponsor at where you can get over 750 qualified links to all of your adult entertainment needs. It’s one stop shopping for online fun at ThePornDude.

Be sure to follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and on the Also hit up iTunes and write something nice.

Eazy-E Got AIDS Through Acupuncture And Shit Around The Web

By Jack October 01, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


An associate of the late diminutive gangsta rapper Eazy-E are saying that he got The AIDS through an intentionally infected acupuncture needle. Put that second on your possibilities list behind tons and tons of dirty dick.

Why is is so hard to admit Eazy-E loved the cock? (Last Men On Earth)

Elsa Patacky shows off her bouncing tits in Spain. (Egotastic)

Kara Del Toro defends totally not racist Carls Jr. commercial. (TMZ)

Shay Mitchell dons a bikini and gives us all a collective boner. (Drunken Stepfather)

The appropriately named Erin Van Dongen in a bikini makes my dongen happy. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hot girls in knee high socks makes me think of private school sexytimes. (The Chive)

Eve Hewson shows off her mondo cleav for GQ. (Popoholic)

Nothing Says Save the Animals Like Celebrity Tits

By Lex October 01, 2015 @ 10:27 AM

Cleavage For Peta
PETA has figured out that sex sells a message. Also that 95% of the general population loves eating animals more than making sure they have three square meals a day and subsidized cable. Consider naked ladies your last best option for changing minds. PETA used to run porn-disguised click bait on blogs for men that featured naked women and sex acts and led you to an animal rights page. They’ve put naked women with college loans and no idea how to pay for them into cages dressed as tigers and aardvarks. Aardvark if you showed up first that day.

Just for a Hollywood fundraiser PETA will drag out Joanna Krupa and Pamela Anderson and foie-gras style force feed them Stoli until their eyes are half open and their tis are half out. Does any of this work in changing hearts and minds? I don’t know. We’re still killing hormone injected cows with giant Wile E. Coyoto ACME hammers and the Japanese are still eating whale blubber with their Cheerios. Bob Barker already covered off the spaying and neutering business. All these tits may just be gratuitous. Which would make it PETA’s greatest accomplishment. The animals have to be laughing at us. Fuckers. Let’s eat.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

God Sends Bear to Eat Shrill Woman’s Kayak (VIDEO)

By Lex October 01, 2015 @ 9:48 AM

Natures likes to punish college educated white women who belong to the Sierra Club but can’t start a campfire. There’s Lyme disease, but that’s still a work in progress and only afflicts famous people. In a fresh experiment, God sent an Alaskan black bear to torment a shrill kayaker armed only with pepper spray and her Discovery Channel level knowledge of the outdoors. The woman with a vocal range that could neuter a house pet covered the bear in cayenne mist for daring to be in his own house then chided him not to break her kayak as if she were his super annoying girlfriend begging him not to go to his buddy’s bachelor party in Vegas. You can test yourself by watching this until the end. It will remind you to be dutiful to a higher power of your choice. Also, to hope the bear consumes her alive in part two.

Daytime Talk Shows Are For Healing (VIDEO)

By Lex October 01, 2015 @ 8:55 AM

Watching chunky lady talk show porn piggy back off one another for masturbatory ratings tears is fascinating. Oprah secured a big get for her show nobody knew was still on the air when she got the cute little ragamuffin kid from Who’s The Boss to admit on national television that he’s the 79,858,920th person in the world to be HIV positive. Harkening back to twenty five years ago when such revelations where newsworthy. Or when Who’s the Boss was actually on the air. Danny Pintauro’s confession has moved a lot of people who haven’t given a fake shit about this kid since he stopped appearing on their TV screens a long time ago. Including Alyssa Milano who was the only former cast member from Who’s the Boss who didn’t know Danny was HIV positive, mostly because she didn’t keep contact with him and he didn’t want to tell her. That didn’t keep The Talk, the overtly racially diverse afternoon talk show, from showing Danny’s Oprah confession to Alyssa Milano and closing on her tears while she declared Danny a hero. Actually, she called him a beacon of light. What? There’s nobody more affected by this than Alyssa Milano.

Cheap tawdry elicited tears are the money shots of daytime talk. Why are you crying? There’s cum in my eye. Are people revealing they are HIV positive heroes? I think the argument can be made for this in the early days of The AIDS when you risked a ton of repercussions. Now you might as well shamefully confess you serve meals to the less fortunate. Nobody gets kudos for coming out with kuru after eating the flesh of their human slaughter. Ranking diseases based on nobility seems unfair. As does showing some chick crying over a co-worker from twenty-five years ago announcing he’s HIV positive. Half of West Hollywood is HIV positive. Walk Santa Monica Boulevard with your pressed juice and breathless sobs. Just don’t breastfeed your baby. You will be shamed.