Kendall Jenner Searches for Her Real Daddy

Khloe Kardashian's paternity chase ended with her being part Kris Jenner's late 80's hairdresser and part used Burger King french fry oil. Kendall Jenner is now seeking her true lineagesinceit's hard to picture a gay man with tits beingyour real dad. Also, Kris Jenner keeps teasing around how many other people she fucked whilemarried to Dead Bob Kardashian and Bruce Jenner both. The Scarlet Letter isn't formost women,...read more

Elsa Hosk in A Bikini for Victoria's Secret

There's a circling political meme about Trump employing foreign models on H1B visas for his Trump modeling agency. This is supposed to undercut his rhetoric about bringing back shitty low skill factory jobs from overseas so the U.S. can have more working poor. Ritz Cracker extruder cleaning is where this country wants to be. American women will fill the modeling jobs, they just won't accept being fondled at fourteen...read more

Bella Thorne in A Bikini Seems Enhanced

Confirming Bella Thorne has fake tits is less disappointing than it is a cold confirmation of the popularity sciences. Ever since her parents Dominican Little League doctored her birth certificate so she could try out for Disney roles at eight with a developed girls body, she's been on the 'there's no going back to Orlando' track. Demi Lovato was bulimic at six. Selena Gomez' mom had to teach her daughter how to blow...read more

Dax Shepherd Molested Also

Dax Shepard spoke publicly about being molested by a neighbor teen boy when he was seven. Shepard claims he kept the experience private for the next eleven years wondering if he had emittedsecret gay signals that led to his fondling. It's not a theory without some merit. Look at that face. It's beaming something out there. Shepard's mother was a foster care children's advocate which is entirely a coincidence to...read more

Audrina Patridge Pregnant in A Bikini

If you wanted to fuck her first, you're too late. Audrina Patridge has eased effortlessly into the Hollywood standard practiceof insisting people witnessyour gestating fetus and then complaining about all the strange looks you get. "Belly belly belly. The bigger I get people either seem to stare as if I'm an alien or ask to rub it for good luck #pregolife." How weird it must be to be a thirty-year old woman with...read more

Rita Ora Booty Flash And Shit Around The Web

Rita Ora is a singer with a swell pair of tits and and a nice ass. That's a substitute for musical talent. We can find ugly girls to sing. I bet just seeing her twat will give you eye herpes. (Drunken Stepfather) Edita Vilkeviciute's name is unpronounceable, but she looks hot in lingerie. (Last Men On Earth) Monica Engesser is topless for your viewing pleasure. (Egotastic All-Stars) Rachel McCord bikinis down in Santa...read more

Scott Disick Humble Stalking

This isn't a good message to send to your bastard kids. Remember when mommy and daddy used to fuck in the ocean? We just sat the down and told them daddy died fighting ISIS to keep America safe from Muslims. Scott Disick sent this seven year old photo in a birthday message to Kourtney Kardashian because sniffing her old clothes and hiring private detectives to follow her no longer cut it. This thing certain men with...read more

Madison Beer Comes Prepared

High school used to be the place where a small number of slutty chicks in tight tank tops ruled the roost. All the boys would whisper 'Brandy' and 'Karen' like mystical incantations while cumming into their sheets. Now it's every single girl desperate for social media likes. The chess club girls are shooting down their tops. Brandy and Karen fade into the background like the one guy in the office who knew how to...read more

Josephine Skriver In Lingerie

You can't get soft core porn anymore in men's magazines. Playboy's featuring articles on how to make sandwiches using waffles as bread and muppets rapping. That's not a joke. That's their clickbait homepage today. There's more bare skin in women's fashion magazines than Maxim. Cable is featuring more bare man ass than tits. You pick your own social trends to define the emasculations of America. Somewhere the Greatest...read more

Khloe Kardashian Fills the Gap

Khloe Kardashian can't survive much time away from NBA cock. After a week the fitful sleep kicks in. By one month she's opening cans of tuna with her teeth and mumbling nursery rhymes. It's Trainspotting but her opiate is big black cock. Kardashian dumpedJames Harden thrice nightly plowing to care for her stroked out husband and some sweet reality show footage. With Odom on the mend and out boozing, Kardashian's...read more

Coachella Concedes

It's hard to state the exact moment at which an annual countercultural event sells out. It's usually a process. Inevitably marked by Paris Hilton showing up in expensive clothes made to look vintage. Coachella was a music thing until somebody realized it could be a monster fucking money making thing and suddenly Jay Z and Beyonce are headlining an indie music and arts festival in the desert. The entire list of...read more

The Curious Case of Hank Baskett

Deception is so imbued in the souls of veteran reality TV actors, you can never tell what's real and what's false produced for the cameras. As when former Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett III got outed visiting a tranny hooker in Sherman Oaks. It could've been one of those sweep weekssetups for his inane show with his wife Kendra Wilkinson, if not for the manner in which Baskett continues to lie about it to this day:...read more

Cheryl Burke Suicidal

Cheryl Burke who isn't pretty enough to be a model so she became a ballroom dancer noted in an interview that working with Ian Ziering on Dancing with the Stars made her want to slit her wrists. Her examples of his heinous behavior included the fact that he's super intense and pronounces his first name funny. Just when you thought ballroom dancing was an easy six-figure salary you end up with real work. Who doesn't...read more

Johnny Depp And Amber Heard Apologize And Shit Around The Web

You'll recall that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard got in trouble down under when they snuck their rat-like dogs into Australia. Today they were forced to make an apology PSA video that is super weird. They look like they are on more drugs than Chateau MarmontBelushi. The Aussies should put the two of them to sleep. (TMZ) Pam Anderson does some TERRIBLE stand-up. (Last Men On Earth) Hottie Nalu Kasmierski is buckass...read more

Kendall Jenner Nipple Piercing

Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner love to slap and tickle and pull each others clothes off and take silly shots of their bare bodies and post them online. You can't sexually objectify a woman if she's your sister. Check Webster's. These feral children are the Lost Girls of a Neverland that rewards the whorish. Kylie Jenner snapchatted close-ups of her sisters nipple piercing over the weekend. That's so sixth grade. Or...read more