Let Malia Be Malia

Any sane person tries to stay out of the mounting partisan battles of the modern social media age. Some percentage of the population feels a need to define themselves by political party affiliations as if that's a totem of some divine achievement. read more

Swift's Mom "Vomit And Cry At The Same Time"

Taylor Swift's mom, Mrs. Childpimp Moneybags, broke down in court while testifying against her daughter's sexual assailant David Mueller. The DJ has a thing for seven-foot-tall country trash bags of bones, and he played grab ass with Taylor's golf ball butt cheeks during... read more

Chloe Moretz Body Shamed, Trust That It Happened

Chloe Moretz has been reminiscing about that time she was a fifteen year old on a movie set and her male co-star ten years her senior body shamed her. Or more specifically, he told her what kind of girls he prefers to date. read more

Eating Meat Equals A Marvelous Life

Celeb vegetarians and vegans don't choose that lifestyle because they care about animals. Eating leaves all day in lieu of meat will make you thinner. And Hollywood is a pretty pretentious place.  read more

Tess Holliday Lays Out Fat Lady Protocols

British super-size me self-described model, Tess Holliday, is helping men in particular to understand the only acceptable ways to interact with overweight women. She wasn't elected, but she is enormous, so who's going to stop her? read more

Ariel Winter Bath Tits And Other Shit Around The Web

Ariel Winter monster cleavage, nude Teri Hatcher, Kendall Jenner housing stock, and more! read more

Amber Rose's Surplus Of Boobagetry

There are two things in life you can never have too much of. Tits and money. Both feel really nice in the hands. read more

Jessica Simpson Honey Boo Boo Chic

After seeing what I can only define as problem areas, I assumed that these images would be accompanied by the words "brave," "body positive," "slam," and "h8ers," but apparently we're not doing that with Jessica Simpson. read more

Usher's Herpes Travails Grow Much Much Bigger

There is nobody who wants their train wreck lineup of one night stands showing up in a whoring minion at a press conference. Double that when they're standing next to Lisa Bloom to sue your ass for herpes.  read more

Amy Schumer Official Broadway Broad

Amy Schumer represents a majority of what's wrong with society. She's comedy's version of affirmative action. Underperforming at your craft will still land you front page with a trophy.  read more

Mrs. Macron Gets No Euros

The older married teacher who started fucking the freshman boy in her high school class all those years ago wants a salary now that that kid she's still boinking grew up to be the goofy looking President of France. read more

Kylie Jealous Of Kendall On Flop "Life Of Kylie"

The oldest looking Bratz doll on the planet, Kylie Jenner, opens up about her jealousy over Kendall Jenner and her model coven on the new spinoff reality nightmare Life of Kylie. While Sunday's premiere had roughly the same ratings as a Bowflex infomercial and has been... read more