Gawker Goes Under

Media outlet and occasional libeler Gawker has filed for bankruptcy. Hulk Hogan's jury verdict of $140 million against Gawker for giddily publishing a video of the pro wrestling star nonchalantly fucking his radio DJ friends wife was held up on appeal in court.read more

Iggy Azalea Free Falling

MTV renewed an eighth season of Nick Cannon's Wild 'N Out series because Mariah Carey made them in exchange for first rights to the kids for photo ops at the holidays. Nick Cannon describes his show as a no-holds-barred discussion with mega celebrities such as Scott Disick, Tyga, and Iggy Azalea. Implicitly a Victoria Principal adult acne treatment infomercial will hold more authentic thrills.read more

Richard Simmons Still a Man, Baby

According to Richard Simmons' representative, Simmons isn't transitioning into a woman. He's merely taking time off from the public spotlight to deal with his knee surgery of several years ago. You could've worked on a better answer. Lyme disease was definitely available.read more

Renamed Yolanda Hadid Still Working the Lyme Disease

Yolanda Foster dropped the Foster last name after her latest husband divorced her citing her insatiable need for publicity. She went back to Hadid even though that real estate mogul is no longer her husband either. Hadid has titled her new book, Believe Me: My Battle with the Invisible Disability of Lyme Disease, because it's important to highlight the fact that nobody believes your central claim within the very title...read more

Madonna Horny Old Woman

If it were 50 years ago, Obama would have already fucked Madonna dozens of times. Sure he could get hotter tail but Presidents are pretty obsessed with status. As it is he's probably only banged her a handful of times. Back when he was the Senator of Illinois Obama attended a lot of Chicago Bulls games and Madonna fucked their entire roster. It follows that they probably got it on although he was probably in too much...read more

Justin Bieber Gets In A Fight (VIDEO)

If you're a diminutive 22 year old child who many people instinctively and justifiably want to punch in the face, at some point you're going to have to throw a blow. Some guy apparently tapped Bieber on the head in the lobby of his hotel. It appears Justin Bieber's life is essentially based on humiliating himself. He has to sing those shitty songs with a straight face and eye-fuck nine year olds in the front row.read more

Johnny Manziel Served

Life isn't looking up when you're being served with court papers outside a nightclub at two am and even TMZ can't figure out which of three pending legal cases is summoning you.read more

Michelle Hunziker Bikinis In Italy And Shit Around The Web

Michelle Hunziker used to host a German television program so you know she likes the bloodwurst. She's onto her second husband and second round of making babies with rich men. Germans plan well.read more

Kimberley Garner in A Bikini

If there's a checklist for modern day chick celebrity with no appreciable talent, it's reality show credits, revealing social media pictures, and a bikini swimwear or signature cosmetics line that can't possibly be making any money. The business plan exit strategy consists of greatly upgrading the 1040 income of the men you date. Like Warren Buffet if he had a splendid ass.read more

Jessica Alba Backpedaling With Locally Grown Gluten-Free Cocoa and Tits

Jessica Alba's Honest Company has taken a hit of late from various lawsuits and negative press reports related to producing their all-natural products in the late Union Carbide pesticide factory in Bhopal. A strategic error perhaps but the rents are amazing. Hazmat suits come with each lip balm. Yes, they're supposed to turn purple and fall off in six weeks. It makes your face look sleeker.read more

Kate Upton No More Flabby Arms (VIDEO)

Kate Upton has been in hiding the past six months because she got chubbier and with her wedding and associated press coming up she didn't want to be seen until she kicked the Walmart shopping grandma arms. He trainer Bruno has issued a mini-treatise to People Magazine about Kate's massive dedication to physical fitness and health.read more

Lindsey Pelas in A Bikini

According to Maxim, this social media bikini star had the perfect comeback for Twitter trolls. Which means Maxim is now paying Yahoo bloggers a couple bucks to pen male apologist clickbait. Maxim sold in its heyday for $250 million. A couple years ago it got bought at a fire sale by the Steak n' Shake guy for around ten and two cough drops he found in his pocket.read more

Axl Rose Demands Fat Pics Removed

Axl Rose has sent at least eleven requests to Google to take down the memes making fun of how fat he is, a surefire technique to make sure more and more of them pop up. Some more popular ones include "Welcome to the jungle, we got tons of cake" and "Mr Coldstone."read more

Richard Simmons Possibly Becoming A Woman

Whatever is going on with Richard Simmons it's really fucking weird. That statement applies to his entire life but especially now. Rumors had it that he was being held against his will in his own home by his housekeeper, which would seem to justify a firing. I'll still write a nice letter it's just not working out.read more

Miley Cyrus Topless For Plastik And Shit Around The Web

Miley Cyrus took off her clothes for Plastik magazine. To be fair she'd take her clothes off for some chicken nuggets and some attention from an older man. How many nuggets is up to the haggle.read more