Keanu Reeves Is Not The One For More Matrix Movies

Existential reality crises coupled the illusion of space and time along with alternate realms of consciousness is something Keanu Reeves wants no part of as a Hollywood reboot.  read more

Abraham Family Portrait One For The Baby Book

If a picture tells a thousand words, some of the ones that come to mind in this new family memento from Farrah Abraham are: "Child Protective Services," "future drug addict," "current drug addict," "desperate," and, needless to say, "botched." Last night Abraham marched... read more

Jemele Hill Gets Paid 2-Week Holiday Because She's Fire-Proof

Jemele Hill would be semi-laudable as the chick who says whatever the hell she wants without worrying about the consequences, if she ever faced consequences.  read more

Harvey Weinstein Begged Hollywood For Help

There are two industries that detests the airing of dirty laundry. The international child sex trafficking networks and the entertainment industry. Largely for similar reasons. They don't see themselves as horrible.  read more

Kim Kardashian Says She Has, Like, Body Dysmorphia

The ladies of the Jenndashian brothel are revelatory statement Pez dispensers as they try to salvage a show people used to watch. On the most recent episode of No One's Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim continues to try to make her fake Paris robbery a thing while also... read more

Lily James Smells Great and Shit Around the Web

Sexy stars in robes, boob tube nudity, and more! read more

Blac Chyna's Mom Offers to Help O.J. Unleash His Beast

If you didn't know that Blac Chyna had a Dominican mom some teen years older than herself who walks around in revealing catsuits and Tweets crazy street lingo slurs, congratulations. You've contained the useless shit you know. read more

Lisa Bloom Cashes Her Last Weinstein Check

Lisa Bloom typically represents downtrodden women with claims against powerful men. Like fat chicks who insist Usher almost gave them herpes and demand twenty million but will take fifty grand to go away.  read more

Glee Star Pleads Guilty to Kiddie Porn

Pedophiles are going to have to come up with a hall of fame for themselves with the way they try to outdo each other. Mark Salling is looking to top Jerry Sandusky’s son this year in his contribution to inappropriate interactions involving children.  read more

Internet Loving Bella Hadid's "Dope" Shopping Trip

Bella Hadid sounds like a Japanese sex robot struggling with a 90's slang vocabulary upgrade in a new video released by Complex Magazine. And, she probably is. While shopping for sneakers in front of the cameras, Hadid uses the word "dope" with the frequency and... read more

Honey Boo Boo's Sister Unsurprisingly Uses Food To Reveal Baby Gender

Colors associated with gender are sexist if you’re a social justice warrior. You should obviously wait until your child is old enough to decide which gender of the 54 newly discovered ones they feel most comfortable identifying as. read more

Miley Cyrus Tired of the Cooch

A psychotic woman is a loyal woman. When Miley Cyrus was not participating in the verbal terrorism that some consider singing she was stalking her way back into her fiancé Liam Hemsworth’s life. read more