Joe Paterno died early Sunday morning, though not of shame like you would have thought. It was actually lung cancer. A statement from his family says, “he died as he lived.” By mumbling and shielding a pedophile.
01.20.2012 January Jones is recovering nicely
It’s been just 4 months since January Jones gave birth, yet she looks almost exactly like she did before. So, she still hasn’t named the babies father, and she won’t touch the baby, and now, physically, it’s like nothing ever happened. It sorta seems like her plan is to make sure that kid is nothing but a memory by summer.
(image source of January at equinox gym in LA = fame)
01.20.2012 Johnny Depp is very spooky
Warner Bros has released this picture of Johnny Depp in the Tim Burton version of ‘Dark Shadows’, where he apparently doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he’s a vampire. He’s as vampiry as anyone could ever look, short of just shape shifting into a bat and say “squeak squeak” for 2 hours. .
01.20.2012 Sammi Sweetheart might pose for Playboy
Though there doesn’t appear to be any firm offer on the table, Sammi Sweetheart of ‘Jerey Shore’ is said to be “considering” whether she should pose for Playboy.
“I just feel weird about my boobs. … But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s the right direction you want to go in.”
Yeah it would be a real shame for Sammi to sully her good name by posing in Playboy. She has such a bright future ahead of her.
(image source = fame)
01.20.2012 Mark Wahlberg should stop explaining
Mark Wahlberg really didn’t do himself any favors today when he went on Kid Kraddock in the Morning to explain why he said what he said about stopping 9/11.
“I would never disrespect the victims of 9/11 or their families. It was completely misunderstood. My only intention was to explain the fact that I would do anything to protect my family – I would put myself in harms way to protect my family or innocent people. That was it.”
“First and foremost, I am not an actor. I am a real guy from the streets and I’ve been in a lot of situations.”
No, dipshit, you’re an actor. I know this because I’ve been seeing you in movies since 1995. Of all people, you’d think the guy from who was dancing around with the Funky Bunch would want to stop being thought of as what he was 20 years ago.
01.20.2012 Vanessa Hudgens is in a bikini
Vanessa Hudgens and her boyfriend Austin Butler were in Hawaii yesterday, and after a little bit of horseplay, Austin got Vanessa in a Rampage Jackson-esque powerbomb. Austin Butler takes his beach time very seriously.
(image source = splash)
01.19.2012 ‘Resident Evil: Retribution’ has a trailer
A fifth ‘Resident Evil’ movie is on the way, with the Umbrella Corporation somehow still unable to kill Alice even though she stands completely still and perfectly upright in every gun fight.
I just wish they had included a few more “this is my world” examples at the beginning though. 4 wasn’t really enough, I’m gonna need at least 6 to understand the point they were trying to make.
01.19.2012 Ellen Hollman understands the red carpet
The reason movie premieres have a red carpet is so the stars can pose for pictures. So it would make sense for them to look attractive. Like Ellen Hollman did at the ‘Spartacus: Vengeance’ premiere last night at the ArcLight in Hollywood. This will apparently be news to people like Kristen Stewart, who was apparently led to believe that the goal was to stand there looking stoned and annoyed.
01.19.2012 Miley spent $50,000 to look like this
Miley Cyrus spent $50,000 on nutritionists, chefs and personal trainers before going to Hawaii for Christmas with her boyfriend, Thors little brother. She’s 19, by the way. Don’t most 19-year-olds sort of look like this anyway, or better? She spent $3,300 a pound and still wouldn’t make the front cover of a Barely Legal porn. That’s probably not the most flattering thing in the world.
(image source = flynet/fame)
01.19.2012 OJ Simpson is Khloes real dad
Kris Jenner has yet to take Opie and Anthony up on their $250,000 offer to identify the father of Khloe Kardashian with a DNA test, and now we know why! Because her real father is Heisman wining assassin OJ Simpson.
‘O.J. told me Khloe’s his child,’ a source (told the Enquirer).
They allege that Khloe’s mother Kris Jenner had several trysts with O.J. around the time Khloe was conceived.
They also point out the similarities Khloe shares with O.J.’s 26-year-old daughter Sydney.
‘But they fell out when Nicole was murdered.’
They allege that O.J. boasted about his affair and told friends about a ’secret love child’ he had.
‘O.J. bragged about his sex life and many female conquests, which he said included some of his best friends’ wives,’ yet another source told the National Enquirer.
When asked for a comment, Khloe threw a boulder into the water, then gave a haunting howl at the moonlight. Is that good? Does that mean, “yes”?
Mark Wahlberg, who as you can see is about the same height and build as Jessica Biel, told Mens Journal that he would have single-handedly stopped the terrorists on 9/11, unlike the docile sheep who sat there and did nothing. And then he would have single-handedly landed the plane, because how hard could that really be, all while giving comfort to the other passengers. Al-Qaeda would rue the day that they entered Mark Wahlbergs world (the first class cabin)!
“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’”
Needless to say this offended the families of some of the victims. So now he’s apologized, but not really.
“To speculate about such a situation is ridiculous to begin with. I deeply apologize to the families of the victims that my answer came off as insensitive, it was certainly not my intention.”
“Not that my answer wasn’t 100% true, but I should have worded it differently,” he probably added. PR crisis = solved!
01.18.2012 Rihanna is reportedly in the new Armani ads
Rihanna has a new series of ads for Armani, though you wouldn’t know it by looking at the ads. Why even hire someone as a model if you then photoshop them for as long as it takes until they look nothing like the person you hired? It’s as if Armani thought, “We want Rihanna in our ads, but let’s not get carried away.”
