Kylie Jenner's Pop Up Shop A Trap

Kylie Jenner was in the news for three things. The fact that her new and price hiked lip coloring stick shit was the same as the old shit only remarked with fancier color names. A medical alert that her licensed eyeliner might be causing you to relive every ugly person... read more

Ed Sheeran Denied

Ed Sheeran's dad is a war criminal, hence he's a tiny man with bad genes. William Wallace's kid would have made less faggoty music. Sheeran and his regressive alleles were apparently shut out of an after party at the Grammy's. read more

Jerry Sandusky's Son Arrested For Sexual Assault on a Child and Kiddy Porn

Open your genetics research notebooks and jot this day down. Jeffrey Sandusky, son of infamous raping-boys-in-the-Penn-State showers former football coach Jerry Sandusky, has been arrested for diddling the kid of a woman he was dating. read more

Kylie Jenner Sports A Nude Bodysuit And Shit Around The Web

Kylie Jenner wore a see-through bodysuit because that's how she rolls. It's like looking at one of those X-ray photos, though not a real X-ray or you'd see all the diseases. read more

Snapchat Losing Money So Fast It's Going to Be Rich

Snapchat is about to become the latest massive dollar tech IPO, meaning Evan Spiegel will be worth several billion dollars and Miranda Kerr finally will say aye to anal. This despite the fact that Snapchat lost $515 million in 2016, beating out the $372 million it lost in... read more

German Tennis Players Serenaded With Nazi Anthem (VIDEO)

Women's tennis seems to be the focal point these days for a ton of social controversy. There has to be some reason to attend. The U.S. bested the Germans in the quarterfinals of The Fed Cup, which is an international tennis tournament pitting nation against nation in a... read more

Scarlett Johansson Still Not Quite Apologizing

Now that she's split from yet anothergay husband, Scarlett Johansson hastime for course correcting the racial and gender thinking of the lesser evolved world. There's a time for lecturing and there's a time for apologizing. Any decent moralist is a dual threat. read more

Kim Zolciak Au Naturel

Kim Zolziak took to Instagram to intimate that she plans to wear less makeup as she ages ungracefully. That's interesting because common sense would think it would go the other way around read more

Adele Thanks Beyonce on Behalf of Her Black Friends (VIDEO)

Adele won Album of the Year at the Grammy's for musicwritten and produced by a mass of white dudes who stood up on stage behind her during the award show's big speech. It's awkward to be white in entertainment.Tying in the struggles of being a fat mom only get you so far.... read more

Rachel McCord Got on All Fours for Carl's Jr.

Expunged from this year's Super Bowl bonanza of splashy commercialswere the hot titty models eating messy shitand washing cars in their bikinis. What we used to call God's America. read more

Nicki Minaj's Publicists Need Better Metaphors

It was an up and down weekend for Nicki Minaj. She spoiled rumors that her own people planted in the news that she was pregnant by posing in a series of revealing latex albums. In the old days, women used to simply say, nah, I'm not pregnant. Social media has changed... read more

Mischa Barton Having a Bad Week

You don't have to be a spiritual person to believe in signs. Like when covering up mental health issues with a roofie story so God makes you slam your U-Haul into your new apartment building front portico. read more