Kristen Bell Reveals Butt Pads

Kristen Bell shared an Instagram photo of the butt pads she wore under her dress at the Golden Globes. It's not exactly what you would deem sexy, but neither are her man hands. It appears she has simply stopped trying. read more

Tom Hiddleston Lost The Room

Christian Slater and Vince Vaughn looked like they wanted to punch Tom Hiddleston in the mouth as he attempted to promote his shitty show The Night Manager by weaving it into a yarn about the humanitarian crisis in the Sudan. As it turns out, the show is doing wonders for... read more

Chantel Jeffries Bikinis Like A Champ And Shit Around The Web

Chantel Jeffries takes her giant rack to the beach in a tiny bikini. She's the chick who fucked Bieber when she was even younger. Build a LinkedIn profile around that feat. read more

It's Official, You're Lesbians

It's weird how people so quickly take on the guise of central casting characters when they assume a new role in their life. Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell clearly employed a lesbian lifestyle coach to develop appropriate wardrobe and mannerisms affected by millennial... read more

Heidi Klum in A Bikini

Heidi Klum's fond of hitting her hotel balcony after she fucks her significantly younger boyfriend. She pretends he is an artist of some measure. Whatever gets you through. We've all been there. read more

Blac Chyna Back to Work

It's unclear what the requirements are for hosting a weekend party at 1OAK in Vegas, but something approximating, have the press learned to spell your stripper name and will you promise not to piss on the marble? read more

The French Nab Kardashian Robbery Fiends

Leave it to the French to get the important shit right. Non-enforceable climate change accords, not allowing girls to be prostitutes until sixteen, and amassing never before seen levels of law enforcement resources to clear their good name in the Kim Kardashian jewelry... read more

Shkreli Booted from Twitter

IBM's Watson doesn't have the computing power to distinguish the cocksureness levels of Little Pharma giant Martin Shkreli and any 20-something female blogger for a midtown Manhattan media outlet. Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey figured it out. read more

Kylie Jenner Makes More Money Than the President, The New One

Kylie Jenner has proven incapable of assembling the requisite words to form a sentence. That limitation encompasses verbal, written, and conjured thoughts as cum dribbles elegantly off the bridge of her nose. read more

Chris Brown Still Impossibly Not Incarcerated

Do not get into a road rage accident with Chris Brown, because he will shoot you and smoke crack on your corpse. There's a myth that being tough is actually centered on fighting ability. 99 percent of it is just being willing to mix it up and go to jail. read more

Mariah Carey Victimized

Mariah Carey is sticking to her story that the production company which produced her failed New Year's Eve performance did it on purpose to fuck with her. If this was coming from Bruce Springsteen, you'd want to bend an ear and hear him out. read more

Sarah Paulson Kissed Amanda Peet Then Meryl Streep Did An Anti-Trump Monologue, Your 2017 Golden Globe Awards

Last awards season Hollywood forgot to honor black people by accident and they felt super guilty about not honoring their mile wide and inch deep commitment to diversity. So they invited Idris Elba and Will.i.am into the Academy and promised never again. read more