Justin Bieber fans have the right priorities

By brendon December 17, 2012 @ 12:20 PM

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Many people were confronted by their worst fear on Friday when the news broke about the 20 children who were shot and killed at an elementary school in Newton, Connecticut. Specifically, “how will this effect Justin Biebers appearance on the Ellen DeGeneres show?”

It kinda makes you wish all of his fans went to the same school.

On a side note, people ask why it’s always white people who do this and why it never happens in black schools, and that’s because black people hold two guns sideways when they shoot, like in the movies, and they scream “come get some motherfucka” the whole time. Compton would have a 100 percent murder rate if those guys would spend an hour a week at a gun range.

Marissa Miller had a baby

By brendon December 14, 2012 @ 7:19 PM

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It was depressing when Marisa Miller got pregnant, and the only things that would have made it better is if I were the one that did it or if she had a girl for me to leer at in 15 I mean 18 years. Neither one of those things happened.

Marisa Miller and her husband, music producer Griffin Guess are parents after welcoming their first child (yesterday).
Son Gavin Lee Guess was born in Santa Cruz, Calif. at 7:58pm.
“I’m completely overjoyed by the birth of our son. I feel so blessed to be a mom and am so excited to experience this next part of life,” the model, 34, tells People

Yeah this sucks, and I haven’t checked the national news or twitter in the past few hours, but I’m very confident in saying that this will the be the saddest child related story all day.

a strip club will pay off Lindsays debt

By brendon December 14, 2012 @ 5:38 PM

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Scrores strip club in New York is offering to pay the $16,000 Lindsay Lohan owes on her storage locker, which will be put up for auction if she can’t pay, and the rent on her house in Beverly Hills for the next few months, in exchange for hosting an online chat on their website.

And they don’t even want her to strip, which is understandable at this point.

Hopefully she says yes because it’ll show how desperate she is. By this time next year, for $5,000, she’ll wear a horse mask and let you shoot her with a paintball gun.

Jon Stewart banned Hugh Grant from ‘the Daily Show’

By brendon December 14, 2012 @ 2:40 PM

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A film festival in Montclair, New Jersey, must be swimming in money, with people coming from around the globe to attend, but Stephen Colbert interviewed Jon Stewart as a fundraiser to get even more, and among many many other things, asked about ‘the Daily Show’ and the worst guest he ever had.

As implied by the headline, it was Hugh Grant. Third Beat magazine says:

Stewart’s least favorite guest of all time is Hugh Grant, “and we’ve had dictators on the show”. Grant spent his time at the studio complaining that he had other places to be. “He’s giving everyone shit the whole time, and he’s a big pain in the ass,” Stewart recalled.
Grant also complained to the staff about the clip that was selected of the movie he was promoting, Did You Hear About the Morgans? – a clip that was obviously supplied by the film’s publicist. Stewart recalls Grant angrily asking “What is that clip? It’s a terrible clip.” “Well, then make a better fucking movie,” Stewart said, adding that he would “never” have Grant back.

Ahh, this must be more of that internet bullying I’ve been hearing so much about. When Hugh Grant kills himself, it will all be Jon Stewarts fault.

Kristen Stewart still acting like a weirdo

By brendon December 14, 2012 @ 1:30 PM

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Kristen Stewart had a premiere last night for her movie ‘On The Road’, which is just another way of saying Kristen Stewart wore a weird and unflattering outfit. To be fair, it does look better from the back, but a lot of that may just be the subliminal joy you feel when Kristen Stewart is walking away.

Paul McCartney reuinited Nirvana, Courtney Love complained

By brendon December 13, 2012 @ 7:18 PM

It shouldn’t be surprising that Paul Mccartney fucking killed it last night when he filled in for Kurt Cobain and played with Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic, and Pat Smear, the 3 surviving members of Nirvana who haven’t played together in 20 years, at the concert for Hurricane Sandy relief at Madison Square Garden, but it is. HE’S FUCKING 70. And they were great. Courtney Love complained about of course, but fuck her. Can’t we just kill her and replace her with some drifter from the train tracks? It’s hard to imagine that anyone would even notice.

suck it in Kim Kardashian

By brendon December 13, 2012 @ 6:01 PM

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Kim Kardashian walked around Miami today in a shirt so short and a skirt so tight that it pushed her fat out as if she were a stress ball, which is maybe not the kind of thing you should wear if you’re a mean selfish bitch that people are just aching to make fun of.

(image source of kim in miami today = fame/flynet, inf)

Megan Fox is a dark immortal

By brendon December 13, 2012 @ 2:20 PM

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Megan Fox looks great considering she just had a baby in September, but the spooky eyeliner isn’t doing her any favors. It makes her look older. As in 500 years older, when she was bitten by the dark lord and cursed to a life as a hunter of the night.

(image source of megan at last nights ‘this is 40′ premiere = getty)