Full House was one of the worst sitcoms ever created, as the show’s shitty, formulaic family values bullshit was surpassed in stupidity only by the terrible acting. But for some reason, nostalgia freaks cling to Full House like it was Cheers and love to pretend like people would be interested in a reunion, other than the show’s stars, who would probably really appreciate the extra cash.
The only good thing this show ever gave us was Lori Loughlin, AKA Aunt Becky, and even at 49 she still looks amazing. It’s ridiculous that the only acting jobs she still gets are for shows or TV movies that people don’t watch, when she could easily be starring in her own series entitled, “Wet T-Shirt Mom.”
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Coco Austin and Ice-T were the special guest hosts of the “Sunday School” party at the Hard Rock’s Body English Nightclub in Las Vegas, and it’s pretty great that the legendary gangster rapper and pimp can still make it out to support his wife. Of course, by support I mean that he’s there to follow her around and make sure she doesn’t tip over or suddenly pass out, because the fact that she doesn’t completely lose circulation in all of her extremities by wearing clothes intended for women one-third her side is a modern miracle of medicine and science.
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Olivia Wilde and a friend were out for a little fun in London last night after the Rush premiere, and as they returned to the hotel, Olivia’s breast was practically hanging out of her jacket. Some people may have been offended by this kind of lewd fashion choice, but I say bravo, Miss Wilde. In the past several months, one outlet named Miley Cyrus the hottest woman on the planet while others have called Kristen Stewart the best dressed female celebrity. But I think that Olivia has made it pretty damn clear that those people are high on meth.
(Photo Credits: WENN.com)
Nobody knows you better than your porn provider. Facebook and the NSA are a close second, but your ATM content source knows you better than the woman who bore you. The video clip masters at Pornhub out of Canada by way of a small independent former Soviet state for tax and legal reasons, decided to show America what they’re jerking off too the most, state by state, in terms of most common search term. So we discover crackers in the South like whacking it to the ladies of color, people in Kentucky are into Japanese cartoon porn, and a lot of dudes are into seeing dude juice. This map won’t really be interesting until they drill down to the micro level. What every guy in America is searching for on Pornhub. Then everybody should have to wear their search term on a t-shirt in public one day so we can all see what everybody else is digging to porn wise. It’ll be awkward, but worth it to expose the quiet polite guy at the office whose t-shirt reads ‘Ring Worm’ or ‘Hot Wheels Camaros’.
Now this is Labor Day. Sure, the American labor movement has been crushed into near oblivion. Maybe everything we own is now made in a country overseas that changes its name every ten years to try and make people forget that Gary Glitter violated its children. And maybe the blue collar American middle class worker is now but a Happy Days dream of the past. But we’ve still got the finest tits in the world. Even our short girls have enormous jugs. Sure, the parts were made in those same foreign countries. But we imported them, cleared those bags through customs, and stuffed them in our ladies’ racks. We also almost sort of invented the bikini. America, fuck yeah.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN
The cash money Kardashian show stops for nobody, so even with Khloe threatening to eat French Dip sandwiches until she dies, and Kris Jenner sucking slowly on a Botox needle and lamenting the loss of her TV show, the other moneymakers in the clan went about on about their business. Kourtney hit the Vegas strip to show off her tits for money at the Bellagio. First and foremost, you support the family with your earn. There’s always a gay BFF or Bruce if you need a non-revenue producing shoulder to cry on.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com