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Natalie Portman gave birth

Wait, was she pregnant? Because you could barely even tell. The actress and fiancé Benjamin Millepied have welcomed a son, PEOPLE has exclusively learned. Portman, 30, met choreographer Millepied on the set of Black Swan, for which she later won an Oscar for Best Actress. And that's basically the entire article. As you can tell, details are scarce right now. But, whatever, I'm just glad this is over. Pregnant women...read more

Tuesday headlines, with the return of Blake Lively

TRACY MORGAN - was so upset that he cried during his interview with Russell Simmons, according to Simmons. Wait, he cried? Hahaha, no way! Just like a little fa... oh, umm... ne-never mind. (popeater) HUGH HEFNER - was supposed to get married to Playmate Crystal Harris in just 5 days (he's 85 and she's 25, btw), but he went on twitter today and wrote, "The wedding is off. Crystal has had a change of heart." Now...read more

Sean Bean is the coolest dude on earth

It's hard to say what Sean Bean is best known for, maybe 'Lord of the Rings' or 'Goldeneye' or now 'Game of Thrones', but that was before he went to a bar in London Sunday night with a Playboy model 30 years younger than him. After that the story pretty much turns into a Dos Equis commercial. Sean Bean was stabbed in the arm following a spat over a Playboy model outside a bar in London. The row began when a passerby...read more

many celebrities are practically retarded

Fergie has an interview in the new issue of Allure (though I'm not sure who that's supposed to be on the cover) and she has a theory that might answer why there are so many pregnancy rumors about her. "I think people think that I'm pregnant sometimes because my weight fluctuates." Ohh, gosh, you think? Could those two things be related somehow? It's sounds crazy, but maybe. I wonder if Fergie could help me solve the...read more

Jennifer Aniston is a home wrecking whore

Jennifer Aniston has talked non stop for 6 years to make sure everyone knows how awful it was when the mean and wicked Angelina Jolie took out her claws to seduce and steal Brad Pitt. Very obviously Jennifer would never do anything like that. Jennifer Aniston's romance with Justin Theroux has ended his 14-year relationship with his live-in girlfriend Heidi Bivens -- who moved out of their home last weekend, Page Six...read more

Tracy Morgan loves everything gay now

(and yes that was the gayest looking picture of Tracy I could find) I bet that black guy who got fired from 'Greys Anatomy' because someone thought he might have said "faggot" is going out of his mind right now, because Tracy Morgan said he'd stab his own son to death if he was gay, and yet yesterday he began to do interviews and meet with gay and lesbian groups to find ways to make amends and put this behind him....read more

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Jessica Biel with no makeup is not bad

Jessica Biel arrived in Toronto over the weekend to begin filming the 'Total Recall' remake, starring the underrated Colin Farrell and directed by the appropriately rated Len Wiseman, and when she got off the plane she didn't have any makeup on. And since I'm a mean spirited, childish dick, you better believe I looked for the worst possible picture so I could make fun of her. But as you can see, Jessica thwarted the...read more

Monday headlines, with pregnant bride Lily Allen

KIM KARDASHIAN - was accused of cheating on her fiance after an NFL player named Brett Lockett told InTouch they'd been having a "physical relationship" for 5 months, but now he admits he's never actually met her face to face. His dick must be huge. (e!) SUPER 8 - was number 1 at the box office with $37M, because movie theaters don't give refunds. (ew) BOOK OF MORMON - is the musical written by Matt Stone and Trey...read more

Wanda Sykes on Tracy Morgan: "I blame Tennessee."

Tracy Morgan is of course in huge trouble for things he said about gay people during a concert in Nashville earlier this month, specifically on how he would react if his son was gay ("He better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab that little nigger to death.") Well this weekend Wanda Sykes went on her twitter and blamed the state of Tennessee, saying that Tracy wouldn't have...read more

Taylor Momsen looks like a good singer

‘Gossip Girl' star Taylor Momsen, who is 17 by the way, certainly was a busy little bee this weekend. First she performed at the Heineken Festival in Venice on Friday, then at a club in Amsterdam on Saturday, then at the Download Festival in England yesterday. None of which I would care about except she did it in nipple tape and then a flimsy dress and then nipple tape again. People criticize sluts but by golly, when...read more

Jaime King was in a bikini

Jaime King was in Miami over the weekend with her husband, producer Kyle Newman, and uhh… hm. It's weird. Remember when she was a top supermodel and a fairly popular actress? What the hell was that all about? (image source = inf)read more

January Jones seems nice

January Jones is a mean, icy, selfish bitch, and yet, despite being several months pregnant, she still has a really nice ass and today she wore yoga pants. And now I totally forgive her and would put up with her. Being a guy really sucks sometimes. (image source = fame and wenn)read more

Victoria Silvstedt is itchy

Victoria Silvstedt had a bit of a wedgie in Monaco yesterday, and it was a chilling reminder about the dangers of wearing a bikini. If you're a hot girl with big boobs, please, don't be a hero, don't risk it, just take your clothes off. Putting on a bikini is like playing with a loaded gun! (image source = bauer griffin)read more

Headlines, with the benevolent Sacha Baron Cohen

TRACY MORGAN - has now apologized for his remarks about gay people that he made in concert on June 3rd. That he's apologizing now, after the story broke, and not when he said this stuff 7 days ago can only mean that he really wanted to get the apology just right. (the ap) JACK WHITE - and his wife are throwing a party to celebrate their 6th anniversary, AND to announce their divorce. It just made better financial...read more

Selena Gomez is in the hopsital

Selena Gomez has an image as a nice sweet girl, but she's 18 and her mom is 33. Meaning she got pregnant with Selena at 15. I don't know the specifics of how that happened but Latin girls can't keep their pants on so I'll conclude that it's because she liked to party and have lots of sex and therefore now Selena does too. Which makes the story about her going to the hospital for nausea way more interesting. "Last...read more