Martin Sheen wants a conservatorship over Charlie

Just to be clear, Charlie Sheen is not some adorable scamp, he's a piece of shit with a long history of violence against women, but if he wants to get high and apologize to prostitutes all day, by all means go for it. As long as he doesn't... - Shoot the girl, like he did to Kelly Preston. (imdb) - Hit her in the back of the head if she refuses to sleep with him, like he did to a student at UCLA. (people) - Fling her...read more

morning headlines

CHRIS EVANS - is on the cover of the new issue of Empire, and only a country as bad ass as America could have a superhero like this. What would the French one be, some pedophile in a smock holding a baguette? You can suck it, France! (empire) RICKY GERVAIS - has been asked to host the Golden Globes again next year, because the ratings were up again, but doesn't think he should because he doesn't think the show could...read more

Halle Berry is in a custody battle

Halle Berrys break up with Gabriel Aubrey seemed amicable enough, they were both real nice and seemed to have something worked out to share custody of their daughter, but now take whatever the exact opposite of those words are and add lots of profanity. E! says... "She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with her daughter's father, Gabriel Aubry, directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle...read more

afternoon headlines

CHARLIE SHEEN - will be doing rehab, ahem, from his house. Because he doesn't want any embarrassing details coming out about his private life. Remember this as you read the very next sentence. (tmz) KACEY JORDAN - has yet another new interview talking about sex with Charlie Sheen, aaanndd it would almost be over by now according to her. "It was OK. It didn't last very long (probably) because he was so fucked up. When...read more

Kim Kardashian was surprised about being naked

When Kim Kardashian appeared naked except for silver paint in W magazine (pictures here), it looked very much like a girl who was naked except for silver paint. This was news to Kim apparently, who broke down and cried about it on last nights episode of Kourtney and Kim Take New York. Us magazine says... "Oh my God, I'm more naked that I was in Playboy. I'm so mad right now. [W magazine] promised I would be covered...read more

Charlie Sheen could cost Warner Brothers $250,000,000

Charlie Sheen will reportedly be in rehab for the next three months (note: never gonna happen) which would mean the 8 remaining episodes of this seasons Two and a Half Men won't get made, which could cost Warner Brothers up to 250 million dollars in revenue. And this is why you don't hire people who see a brick of cocaine as a dare. Oh and then there's this... Three hundred crew members are reportedly concerned about...read more

Sofia Vergara at the SAG Awards

The Screen Actors Guild Awards were last night of course, and from the film side it was telling that the Kings Speech, Colin Firth, Christian Bale and Natalie Portman all won (full winners list here), because most assume they're a lock for Academy Awards as well. From the TV side, the big winner was everyone out of Sofia Vergaras line of sight so they didn't have to pretend as if they weren't staring at her huge jugs....read more

morning headlines

THE SAG AWARDS - were last night, and they sucked, unless you follow supermodel Chrissy Teigen on twitter. "i saw jeremy renner after the globes and was very disappointed he didn't have the neck tattoo from the town. fake ass." "these social network doofs are aligned like the bars on my att phone. if i ever fucking had full service. so it's just one jesse eisenberg." She's great. Unfortunately her boyfriend is John...read more

Charlie Sheen enters rehab, Two and a Half Men on hiatus

The official story is still that Charlie Sheen was only in a hospital yesterday because of a hernia he got from laughing too hard, and yet, today he "voluntarily" entered an undisclosed rehab, and his CBS show Two and a Half Men will be temporarily shut down because of it. Sheen's highly successful sitcom, Two and a Half Men, is going on hiatus due to the star's decision to enter rehab, according to a statement from...read more

Sofia Vergara looks happy. With good reason.

Sofia Vergara was at the Elle Women In Television event in West Hollywood last night, and OH MY GOD look at those tits. This is one of those girls who sets an unfair standard. I was talkin to a guy at the bus stop about this today, because I think it's maybe why I can't get an erection when I'm with a woman, but he just kept reading his magazine. Even though I don't think there was anything in there about erections,...read more

Halle Berry knows how to dress

Halle Berry went to the dentist in Toluca Lake yesterday, and for some reason she did it her cock-teasingest shorts. Did that poor bastard dump her in high school or something? (image source = flynet)read more

like nothing ever happened

Denise Richards, Martin Sheen, and Dr. Drew are all trying to get Charlie Sheen into drug rehab, but his body can apparently take it, his employer lets him do whatever he wants, and it's not like the pussies in the LAPD would ever arrest a celebrity, so, no, he's not gonna do that. Instead he's gonna go home, hang out, and party some more, like nothing ever happened. Charlie Sheen will be at work Tuesday on the set of...read more

morning headlines

RICKY GERVAIS - reprized his role as David Brent on the Office last night, and it really was a great scene, right up until it began. (celebuzz) TRACEY MORGAN - was live on Inside The NBA last night from Madison Square Garden, and when Charles Barkley asked him to choose between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin, he said, "Let me tell you about Sarah Palin man. That's some good masturbation material." Hopefully she'll take...read more

Charlie Sheen was in the hospital for laughing too hard

Charlie Sheen is an asshole who beats up women, and that's why I had my fingers crossed that he would die yesterday, but he didn't, and now we're gonna have to listen to a bunch of insultingly condescending explanations for why he was rushed to the hospital. Awesome. Officially, he's in there for a hernia. And what caused it to flare up? Was it the 36-hour coke binge? Nooppe. Course not. The Hollywood Reporter One...read more

Sheen had a briefcase full of coke and Melanie Rios

So if Charlie Sheen does die today (and honestly if he does who cares) at least he'll have gone out nailing one of the hottest girls in porn, if not all of Hollywood, in Melanie Rios. According to radar, she was the other porn star with Sheen this morning after he went to the hospital, though there's no mention of it on her twitter, which has been updated twice today. The first porn star is said to be Kacey Jordan,...read more