Kim Kardashian could use some makeup

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 4:06 PM

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Kim Kardashian went to a tanning salon in Studio City yesterday, and either she’s not doing it right or she’s in a kabuki play or she was bitten by a vampire because she went in tan and came out looking ghostly white.

Let’s just go with vampire bite because staking her in the heart is maybe not the worst idea in the world anyway.

(image source = fame/flynet)

its Scarlett Johansson in a bikini with some dork

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 3:02 PM

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Two important points to take away from these pictures, taken today, of Scarlett Johansson in a bikini on a yacht off the coast of Taormina, Italy:

1. She’s not a very good layer-downer. In fact she kinda spazzes out and rolls over with her legs in the air like a dog.

2. That guy she’s with looks at least twice her age, despite what his HGH dealer tells him. It’s not clear who he is, but they do seem to be together. He’s even caressing her back here, which is a very big deal according to 100 percent of the girls who didn’t want me caressing their back.

(image source = inf, fame/flynet)

Tom and Katie have reached a divorce settlement

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 1:45 PM

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When Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, it was immediately followed by dire predictions about how long and nasty the settlement would be. Well now we have the answer: “12 days” and “not at all”.

Though no specific details are known just yet, People says an arrangement has been reached, Cruise and Holmes have both signed it, and…

“Sources close to both sides say that Cruise and Holmes were working on an arrangement in which Suri lives in New York with her mother and her father is given generous visitation rights.”

It was thought that Holmes did want to live in New York to get Suri away from Scientology, so this is perhaps the best she could have hoped for. Unfortunately for her Scientology has intergalactic spaceships, our puny Earth borders mean nothing to them. Seize her you fools, she’s escaping! Find her and the child at once, and cast them into the Pit of Sorrow!

(image source of katie and suri back at the children’s museum of the arts in new york today = fame/flynet)

Spider-Man less amazing now than the first 3 times

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 1:16 PM

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‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ easily won the weekend box office (it helps to open Monday at midnight and have a 6-day opening “weekend”) earning $75 million in it’s first 3 days ($140M total), making it a huge success by any standard.

Unless your standard is the other Spider-Man movies, from the trilogy that ended just 5 years ago, because ‘Spider-Man‘ earned $115 million in it’s first 3 days. ‘Spider-Man 2‘ made $130 million, and ‘Spider-Man 3‘ topped them both with $151 million. The re-boot made $40M less than the lowest one, despite the advantage of higher ticket prices on 3D (which accounted for 44 percent of sales) and IMAX (which accounted for 10 percent).

But it still made tons of money so Sony doesn’t really give a shit if you saw it because you somehow don’t know the most famous origin story in all fiction or saw it because you’re just kind of obligated to see movies like this in the summer. I didn’t do either. You can’t just film the same fucking action with new people and expect me to watch it. Unless we’re talking about porn, in which case I totally will.

Arianny Celeste never disappoints

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 11:06 AM

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Arianny Celeste hosted the UFC Fight Week Pool Party at The Palms leading up to UFC 148, and at least she’s always great because the actual fights were incredibly disappointing. At least for me because I had Sonnen over Silva, and I attribute every Demian Maia win to blind random luck. It’s impossible to take him seriously after the way Nate Marquardt knocked him out at UFC 102. I’ve never seen anyone punched so hard that they were parallel to the fucking ground. Well I have but it always involved the Hulk. He’s lucky he didn’t burst into flames.

(image source = wenn)

Ron Perlman brought back Hellboy for Make-A-Wish

By brendon July 09, 2012 @ 9:10 AM

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A six-year-old boy with leukemia named Zachary told the Make-A-Wish Foundation that he wanted “to meet and become Hellboy”. So they put on Nazi uniforms and held him down in a swastika drawn with his blood and summoned Satan.

That didn’t work so they contacted Spectral Motion, who created the makeup and costume for both Hellboy movies, and Ron Perlman, the actor who played him. 4 hours in the makeup chair later, Zachary had his wish.

The Hollywood Reporter says…

The visit was the second time in the past three weeks Spectral Motion opened has its doors to Make-A-Wish children. Another fan, Caleb, got a firsthand look at the animatronics behind some of the studio’s well-known creatures, which also have appeared in X-Men: The Last Stand and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

“Wait so the other kid got to meet and become an unkillable hero and I got to see Angels wings from X-Men and the Silver Surfer, who heralds certain death,” Caleb asked when he read this. “What the fuck? Is there something you need to tell me?”

(image source = Spectral Motions facebook)

Hayden Panettiere looks terrific

By brendon July 06, 2012 @ 5:49 PM

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Hayden Panettiere has been on vacation in Cabo with her boyfriend Scotty McKnight (who for some reason is a receiver for the Jets and not the shy one in a boy band as his name clearly implies), but she didn’t give him a handjob on camera like Adrien Brodys girlfriend did. I don’t know what her deal is. Look Hayden, do you want to be famous or not?

(image source = fame/flynet)

Jonah Hill is getting fat again

By brendon July 06, 2012 @ 5:07 PM

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And thank God. I don’t really like Fat Jonah Hill either but Skinny Jonah Hill made my skin crawl. If I have to watch a Jonah Hill in movies–and apparently I do–I’ll take the fat one and then hope Hollywood brings back movies where at some point the likable group needs to win a hot dog eating contest.

(image source = fame/flynet)