OJ Simpson Stole The Cookie From The Cookie Jar

By Jack September 27, 2013 @ 2:29 PM

Famous murderer and Samsonite salesman OJ Simpson was caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. You’ll recall that OJ is serving jail time for armed robbery after he and some armed friends tried to snatch back some OJ memorabilia in Vegas. The report states that OJ was caught by a prison guard trying to sneak a dozen oatmeal cookies back to his cell. Stealing food is a big no no in the joint an can get you thrown into solitary. The guard shook out OJ’s prison uniform and the cookies all fell to the floor. They let him off with a warning…this time. It may seem like a small thing but you let a guy get away with cookie thievery and the next thing you know he’s jealously decapitating his ex-wife and a slicing open a random waiter he mistook for her new boyfriend. It happens just that quickly.

WNBA Players Kissing Helps Shatter Lesbo Myths

By Lex September 27, 2013 @ 2:19 PM

Apparently, it’s a personal foul in the WNBA for two players on opposing teams to kiss during games. This in stark contrast to off the court where the butchy ladies of basketball are knucklepacking each others cooches until their scissors have gone dull. I guess we haven’t come far enough as a nation when the sight of Diana Taurasi kissing Seimone Augustus after a dustup on the court still raises hackles. Remember when we all thought women’s basketball was a boring joke of girls shooting two handed set shots and spastic shuffles beneath the rim? How wrong were we about that? Now it’s time to allow same sex kissing. This is how a great sport becomes even greater.

Joe Gorga Likes To Get His Rape On

By Jack September 27, 2013 @ 1:24 PM

Disgusting Guido douchebag Joe Gorga added his two-cents on his wife’s pro-rape book tour on the Bethenny Frankel show. We told you a couple of days ago that Melissa Gorga says in her book Love, Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage that marital rape is not only not prohibited, but that women kind of want it. So, naturally, the subject came up on the shitty Bethennny show. She asked Joe what he does when Melissa isn’t in the mood. He then said,

“She fights it. She fights it, but I always win…Daddy needs his sleeping pill.”

Hell if this isn’t going in the feminist agenda rape culture talking points within minutes. It’s short Guidos like Joe who give short Guidos like Joe a bad name. It’s not cool to rape a girl just because she agrees to check out the backseat of your Camaro. They don’t really have backseats and you’re not really supposed to fight a girl to get your dick inside of her. Joe Gorga needs thirty sleeping pills and a bottle of Scotch.

Cory Booker Flirts With Stripper Lynsie Lee On Twitter

By Lex September 27, 2013 @ 1:00 PM

Portland Stripper Lynsie Lee Twitter Photos
Now that Carlos Danger is gone and mostly forgotten, the media is hard pressed to fill their Weiner vaccums. They’re trying to gin up some controversy because Newark Mayor and U.S. Senate Candidate Cory Booker wrote back a couple flirty Tweets to some aging stripper from Portland who’s been stalking him online with suggestive notes. Big fucking whoop. It used to be there had to be a dead hooker before anybody even bothered learning the name of a politician. Now a single mayor who half the people believes is gay isn’t allowed to have a little fun with a skeez who works at a vegan strip club? Do you realize how depressing it has to be to be the Mayor of Newark? I’d probably jury nullify for the guy even if there was a dead hooker. Leave Cory Booker alone. Whether he wants to bang a tatted up skank or suck a big fat dick, he’s a New Jersey politician. There can’t possibly be any standards by which to judge the man.

Photo Credit: Lynsie Lee/Twitter

Crazy Topless Feminist Also Hate Fashion

By Lex September 27, 2013 @ 12:24 PM

Topless Femen Activists Disrupt The Runway During Nina Ricci's Show At Paris' Fashion Week
Those crazy Ukranian chicks with tiny tits are back and running around some fashion show in Paris. You can always tell how legitimately angry women are by how unintelligible the scrawled messages on their body. The PETA girls write stuff like ‘Fur Kills’ or ‘Don’t Eat Fluffy’ or some other grade school level easy to read slogans. The college feminists have similarly inane but simplistic messages like ‘Daddy Never Loved Me’ inked on their angry scrawny udders. But these FEMEN crazies, they’re really committed. They write shit like ‘Models Don’t Go To Brothels’ and ‘Fashion Dicateror’ and the backward spelled names of dudes who made fun of their flat chests back in Ukranian high school. They look legitimately enraged. There is no known defense for a legitimately enraged topless woman. I’d run.

Photo Credit: Getty

Britney Spears Still Kind Of Has It

By Travis September 27, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Britney Spears is riding a pretty big high right now, as her upcoming Las Vegas show is already reportedly one of the best-selling of all-time (while other reports say the exact opposite), and she released a new teaser clip for her “Work Bitch” music video on Instagram last night. The song’s a flaming bag of her kids’ old diapers, but I guess it’s pretty important to remember that this crazy chick has been through a lot and still looks pretty good. She’ll never recapture the magic of early 20s Britney again, but we could do a lot worse than “early 30s with two kids, divorced from Kevin Federline” Britney. Namely, Miley Cyrus.

Nicole Meyer In Lingerie

By Lex September 27, 2013 @ 10:28 AM

Nicole Meye Modeling Besame Lingerie

Photo Credit: Besame Lingerie

Corey Feldman And His Angels Were Swatted (VIDEO)

By Travis September 27, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Corey Feldman really wants everyone to know that he’s currently living with multiple blonde women with huge breasts, because he’s a major Hollywood player and rock star. And even though nobody really gives a shit about what he’s up to or who he’s living with, he was somehow the target of a “swatting” prank yesterday, and wouldn’t you know it? He was forced out of his home in the early hours of the morning with his two “Angels” in their sexy bath robes. Thank God there was a video camera rolling, because otherwise nobody would have ever known that Corey was so awesome and such a rock star who puts his recycling out.