Taylor Swift still acts like a 15 year old

By brendon February 11, 2013 @ 1:45 PM







It should go without saying that I didn’t watch Taylor Swift sing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” at the Grammys last night, so I’m just taking Us magazines word for it when they say she’s acting like the entire god damn world is her facebook page again…

…and (Swift) took a jab at her British ex (Harry Styles of the band ‘One Direction’).
“So he calls me up and he’s like, ‘I still love you,’ and I’m like, ‘I’m sorry, I’m busy opening up the Grammys,’” she deadpanned in the middle of her song, using a British accent at an obvious nod toward Styles. “And we’re never getting back together, like, ever.”

1. THEY BARELY EVEN DATED TO BEGIN WITH! It was more like they just hung out a few times for 6 weeks.

2. What the hell is the point of this song anyway? Because none of the guys she writes about ever try to get back together. Quite the opposite, in fact. They just run; they don’t even stop to tweet. They don’t hope to get back together just like they don’t wish the guy who hit them with his car would back over them too.

Chris Brown was a dick at the Grammys. Shocking, huh?

By brendon February 11, 2013 @ 12:18 PM

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It still ranks way behind other things he’s done at the Grammy Awards, but Chris Brown once again showed what a classless dick he is by refusing to stand after Frank Ocean made his way to the stage to accept the award for Best Urban Contemporary Album, an award Brown was also nominated for (that’s him dressed all in white, like a child magician).

And Brown should have even been in a good mood because Rihanna was his date. And she looked terrific.

Of course, as we know, looking good at the beginning of a date with Chris Brown is the easy part. It’s looking good at the end where things get dicey.

Katy Perry was the best thing about the Grammys

By brendon February 11, 2013 @ 11:38 AM

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Award shows are all dumb because taste is subjective but the Grammy Awards are extra dumb because they’ve given Taylor Swift 7 of the fucking things. So all we can really hope for is that Katy Perry wears something that shows off her tits (she did!) and that Lindsay Lohan does something embarrassing (she did not).

But that’s only because she wasn’t there. At this point there could be a Lindsay Lohan Awards with a Best Lindsay Lohan category and she wouldn’t even be invited to that.

(image source = getty, wenn, splash)

Julianne Hough is considerate

By brendon February 08, 2013 @ 4:11 PM

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Julianne Hough wore this bright orange dress at The Grove in LA yesterday to do an interview with ‘Extra’, and it’s nice when terrible and annoying actresses wear really distinctive outfits like this. That why you don’t accidentally yell “you suck” or throw garbage at the wrong person.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Whitney to be ‘celebrated’ at Clive Davis’ Grammy party

By brendon February 08, 2013 @ 3:08 PM

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Considering that Whitney Houston was found dead just house before Clive Davis’ annual Grammy party, in the same hotel where the party was being held, many thought he might cancel things this year. But this is Hollywood so fuck that. Instead they’re calling it a “celebration” of her life, a life where she ignored every warning, got high for 30 years then overdosed and drowned.

“Were going to keep that tradition and celebrate her, celebrate music and mark the occasion of the one-year anniversary of her premature, tragic passing,” he said. “But make sure that people remember her always.”

Someone should dig her body up and put it in one of the guest bathtubs filled with water, and then use her lipstick to write some random name on the wall. Like Andy Richter or someone. Because at least 70 percent of this country are fuckin idiots and they’ll think Whitney Houstons ghost is trying to tell us she was murdered by Andy Richter.

I mean there’s nothing else good goin on lately; might as well do something.

Alfred Hitchcock wanted Psycho to be a comedy

By brendon February 08, 2013 @ 2:04 PM

Few things are more subjective than comedy; to some, ‘Arrested Development’ is hilarious, while others like it when a transvestite stabs a girl to death in a shower. According to the Daily News, Alfred Hitchcock was the latter.

It is one of the most critically-acclaimed horror films in cinematic history, but Alfred Hitchcock says he was ‘horrified’ when moviegoers took his subversive 1960 classic Psycho seriously.
In a 1964 (interview newly discovered) in the BBC archives, the director says he intended the film to be a dark comedy made ‘rather tongue-and-cheek’.
Hitchcock took the helm on a screenplay based on serial killer Ed Gein.

Oh well then he should have focused more on Gein making dresses out of the women he killed. There could have been a ‘Mrs. Doubtfire’ or ‘Three’s Company” moment where Gein has two dates on the same night at the same restaurant, and he’d have to run back and forth to each table all flustered. And at one point his vagina could fall on the floor as he approaches the table, and his date would be like, “Good heavens!” But then Gein would play it off and put his keys it in like it was a purse. This is just off the top of my head but you get the idea.

Katherine Jenkins is back, still awesome

By brendon February 08, 2013 @ 12:12 PM

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Katherine Jenkins has been on here before, but if you don’t know she’s a British opera singer. Who looks like this in a bikini. This is her yesterday at a hotel pool in Miami.

Just imagine how pretty she must sound during sex when she cums. It would almost be too much, like some hallucinatory trick to crash me and the other pirates into rocks to sink our ship and steal our gold.

(image source = bauer griffin, fame/flynet)

Emmy Rossum has to wait in airport lines too

By brendon February 07, 2013 @ 7:02 PM

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I can’t even imagine how surprising it would be to turn around in line at LAX security and see Emmy Rossum standing there, right next to me, barefoot. Because she knows full well the judge told her 100 yards. It’s over Emmy. Deal with it.

(image source=pacific coast)