September 28, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
B-list actresses come out with latter day questionable lesbian credentials, the A-listers get United Nations ambassadorships for generally uplifting and vague sounding causes. Jennifer Lopez scored the coveted Advocate for Women and Girls title previously held by nobody since...
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September 28, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
Taylor Swift fans are disheartened their infallible deity was dramatically out performed in a guest duet by Mick Jagger summoned from his ancient tomb only moments before going on stage. Objective onlookers agreed that the ancient Jagger was also...
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September 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
Rihanna isn’t just a hot piece of pierced nipples in stupid sunglasses. She’s a corporate fashion magnate in the making. Sensing the end of her music career due to her songs sounding exactly like eighty-seven other artists not too...
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September 25, 2015 |
crap around the web |
editor|
Remember last month when Kanye West said he was going to run for president in 2020? Yeah, well he’s still saying that shit. I wonder what color the sky is in Kanye’s world? Kim’s ass after an NBA All-Star weekend...
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September 25, 2015 |
bikini |
Lex Jurgen|
I’d invite Bai Ling to everything. Film festival, booze cruise, my gay nephew’s fourth coming out party. She’s got to be eighty now. She doesn’t look a day over viable stripper. It’s that rhino tusk they’re all snorting in...
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September 25, 2015 |
bikini |
Lex Jurgen|
With her mom cooling out in the Lyme disease iron lung, somebody needs to step in to young model Gigi Hadid’s life and help her perfect her cutesy stories about her obligatory gay boyfriend. Every supermodel has one. There’s no...
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September 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
The social media phenomenon of pre-pubescent Maddie Ziegler is based entirely around her remarkably advanced interpretive dancing skills. Let’s all believe that together. Maddie’s work is typically her twelve year old self in nude material rolling around on beds...
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September 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
Albanian TV news is not something you enter lightly. It takes journalistic talent, the ability to pretend Albanian is a real language, and some heaving amount of tits. The 21-year old Enki Bracaj showed up for her screen test...
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September 25, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
Kristin Cavallari has transitioned quietly from that blond chick you remember thinking was pretty hot to a celebrity mom and anointed keeper of the good family advice based entirely on limited personal experience. Birthing two kids is now equivalent to...
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September 24, 2015 |
celebrity |
Lex Jurgen|
Like the human body, the U.S. has a shithole to its South. The new extracurricular activity in Mexico is for drug cartel workers to spend their off days kidnapping men, women, and children who might have relatives in the U.S....
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