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Jennifer Lopez A UN Ambassador Also Too

September 28, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

B-list actresses come out with latter day questionable lesbian credentials, the A-listers get United Nations ambassadorships for generally uplifting and vague sounding causes. Jennifer Lopez scored the coveted Advocate for Women and Girls title previously held by nobody since... READ MORE

Taylor Swift Disappoints (VIDEO)

September 28, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Taylor Swift fans are disheartened their infallible deity was dramatically out performed in a guest duet by Mick Jagger summoned from his ancient tomb only moments before going on stage. Objective onlookers agreed that the ancient Jagger was also... READ MORE

Rihanna Nipples Not as Piercing As Her Workplace Gags

September 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rihanna isn’t just a hot piece of pierced nipples in stupid sunglasses. She’s a corporate fashion magnate in the making. Sensing the end of her music career due to her songs sounding exactly like eighty-seven other artists not too... READ MORE

Kanye Is Still Campaigning And Shit Around The Web

September 25, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Remember last month when Kanye West said he was going to run for president in 2020? Yeah, well he’s still saying that shit. I wonder what color the sky is in Kanye’s world? Kim’s ass after an NBA All-Star weekend... READ MORE

Bai Ling Is the Party

September 25, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’d invite Bai Ling to everything. Film festival, booze cruise, my gay nephew’s fourth coming out party. She’s got to be eighty now. She doesn’t look a day over viable stripper. It’s that rhino tusk they’re all snorting in... READ MORE

Gigi Hadid Tells the Cutest Stories

September 25, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

With her mom cooling out in the Lyme disease iron lung, somebody needs to step in to young model Gigi Hadid’s life and help her perfect her cutesy stories about her obligatory gay boyfriend. Every supermodel has one. There’s no... READ MORE

Pedo Magnet Maddie Ziegler Dances Anon (VIDEO)

September 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The social media phenomenon of pre-pubescent Maddie Ziegler is based entirely around her remarkably advanced interpretive dancing skills. Let’s all believe that together. Maddie’s work is typically her twelve year old self in nude material rolling around on beds... READ MORE

Enki Bracaj Lands the Gig (VIDEO)

September 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Albanian TV news is not something you enter lightly. It takes journalistic talent, the ability to pretend Albanian is a real language, and some heaving amount of tits. The 21-year old Enki Bracaj showed up for her screen test... READ MORE

Kristin Cavallari Pushing Sex

September 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kristin Cavallari has transitioned quietly from that blond chick you remember thinking was pretty hot to a celebrity mom and anointed keeper of the good family advice based entirely on limited personal experience. Birthing two kids is now equivalent to... READ MORE

Mexico Seems Nice, Part 79

September 24, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Like the human body, the U.S. has a shithole to its South. The new extracurricular activity in Mexico is for drug cartel workers to spend their off days kidnapping men, women, and children who might have relatives in the U.S.... READ MORE

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